Today I Used The Phrase "breasting Boobily" In Casual Real Life Conversation And Everyone Was Shocked

buck eddie and ravi at a bar (hen and chim went home to their wives like an HOUR ago) and buck is yapping to eddie all night and ravi is like "oh my god buck is in love with eddie when will this nightmare end" and then buck is like "okay one second eddie i'm going to get a refresh on the drinks" with the biggest widest smile on his face and ravi goes "oh thank fuck a break from evan 'pathetic for his man' buckley" but oh ho ho...

as soon as buck is out of earshot eddie goes "oh my god he's so great isn't he he just brightnens every room hes in i think he's so neat i could listen to him for hours" and ravi is just like FUCK THERES ANOTHER ONE (boss music) EDDIE 'HEART EYES FOR MY MAN' DIAZ APPROACHES

i think ravi just puts his head on the table. when he asks hen (the next time their at work) like "hey when are they gonna get their shit together" hen just deadpan goes "do you want to put a bet in the buddie betting pool" and ravi is like "THE FUCKING WHAT" and she goes "it's been going since before you did your probie days" and ravi goes "...... oh my god those loser idots" and chim chimes in from the couch going "OUR loser idots, tho"

i wrote better rpf fic at 14 than whatever the fuck tim minear is doing

dick and jason being antagonistic siblings. no more soft shit let them punch each other at 7am bcs jason ate the last of dicks cereal. dick loses a tooth and they’re banished to opposite sides of the house until they agree to apologise to each other. they’re not allowed to sit next to each other on the couch/during meetings bcs they always end up trying to shove each other off their seats. one time jason came all the way to the manor, walked in, shot dick in the face with a water pistol, and then went back home to crime alley without saying a word. the first time red hood was asked to join the jla for a briefing on the watchtower nightwing ended up sumo-slamming him into the table and the entire jl were so freaked out by the uncharacteristic crash out that they thought nightwing was compromised by mind control, only for batman to tiredly inform them that it was because red hood had just messaged nightwing in the family groupchat that he ‘looked like a little bitch with that new haircut’.

theyre assholes with a baffling childhood bond let them act like it

I love the idea of Jason somehow becoming Damian's designated driving instructor when he turns 16. Nobody remembers how it happened, least of all Jason.

———

"You're going to kill us both," Jason says calmly, one hand braced against the dashboard as Damian takes a corner at approximately twice the recommended speed.

"Tt. I have perfect reflexes, Todd. I was trained by the League of Assassins."

"Yeah, to kill people, not parallel park. Slow DOWN."

The car screeches to a halt at a red light, throwing them both forward. Jason sighs deeply.

"I've literally trained with Formula One drivers," Damian mutters, tapping impatiently on the steering wheel. “I’ve been driving since I could speak.”

"Is that why you're treating Gotham's pothole-ridden streets like Monaco? Light's green."

As Damian accelerates again, Jason gets a text. He glances down to see it's from Dick.

'how's it going?'

'he's either going to be the best driver in the family or we're both going to die. no in-between.'

"Stop texting Grayson about me," Damian says without looking away from the road.

"Stop reading my texts while you're DRIVING."

"I have peripheral vision superior to—"

"I SWEAR TO GOD, DEMON SPAWN—"

Bruce calls Jason later that night. "How did it go?"

"Great. Your son only tried to kill me seven different ways with my beat up old Toyota. New record."

"So... you'll take him again Thursday?"

Jason hangs up, but they both know he'll be there.

"I'm gonna hold your tits as I say this" Dean says as a joke, not expecting Cas to actually let him but he really really wants to

nope nope sorry if bruce can't figure out superman's identity at first sight (if he's met clark before) then he's gonna figure it out when it rains.

clark, entirely soaked, clothes revealing muscles, taking off his glasses to get rid of the waterdroplets:

batman, suddenly remembering seeing superman, entirely soaked, hair a mess, just an hour before: wait

one must imagine neal caffrey happy

incorrect 911 quotes part idk

Buck now available at your local Toy Store! aka Buck as Ken 9-1-1, Companion set to Eddie aka Barbie ((Inspo))