All those days chasing down a daydream All those years living in a blur All that time never truly seeing Things, the way they were
By FDASuarez
I thought I would update the list of BDSM links and resources I posted a while ago, as some links were no longer working and I had several new ones to add, including a list of books. These should be particularly helpful to those who are new to BDSM and looking to explore D/s relationships, as the best way to go about that is to first read everything you can and then read even more! Not only will this allow you to educate yourself, help keep you safe and avoid any potential mistakes or regrets, but also the more you understand something, the less intimidating it will seem.
If you have anything to add, please don’t hesitate to let me know and I will update this list, in particular if there any books that a submissive might find helpful or informative, as most of the books I have read or included are intended for Dominants.
Note: For the sake of consistency and readability, I have used capitals throughout this document and have not used lower case when referring to submissives or slaves.
Websites:
Babygirls ‘n’ Daddy Doms: Website dedicated to littles, babygirls and Daddy Doms, with a lot of useful information on the subject.
Collarme: A free BDSM dating website and community, that is probably the most popular and a better option than the commercial alternatives.
DS Arts: Academy of DS Arts, fairly self explanatory.
Evil Monk: Ambrosio’s BDSM Website, featuring many useful articles.
Fetlife: An online BDSM community that I would highly recommend and which is perhaps best described as Facebook for the kinky, allowing users to create a profile, publish photos or writing and join interest groups where you can ask questions.
Kink Academy: An online resource with many educational and instructional videos on various aspects of BDSM, although users must pay a small fee to access all of the content.
Submissive Guide: As the name suggests, this is an online resource for submissives.
The Iron Gate: A general BDSM online resource, with many aticles, essays and even stories on the subject.
Dating and Relationships:
10 Principles For Healthy 24/7 D/s And M/s (Source: sexgeek.wordpress.com)
Difference of Dynamics in BDSM (Source: the-little-kitten.tumblr.com)
Finding Your Dominant (Source: asubmissivesjourney.com)
How To Find A Partner (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)
Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)
Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)
Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 3 (Source: submissiveguide.com)
So You Want Your Boyfriend To Dominate You (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)
So Your Girlfriend Wants You To Dominate Her (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)
The Unfortunate But Common Misconceptions About DD/lg Relationships (Source: a-lolitas-life.tumblr.com)
Play:
Consent Is Mandatory And Non-Negotiable (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)
Food Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)
How (and Why) To Go Down On Your Submissive (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)
Initial Steps Into Orgasm on Command Training (Source: submissiveguide.com)
Rules and Tasks for Building Confidence (Source: themostdangerousplaything.tumblr.com)
Tools of Consent in BDSM (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Training in D/s - Why? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)
Training in D/s - How? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)
Training in D/s - Thoughts And Concerns (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)
Wax Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)
Safety:
Basics Of Safe, Sane And Consensual Power Exchange (Source: Molly Devon / the-iron-gate.com)
Common Sense (Source: Sean R. Powell / the-iron-gate.com)
Emotional Safety (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Offline/Online BDSM Safety Rules (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Ouch Is Not A Safe Word: Safe Words, Limits, and Scene Protocol (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Rules For Meeting Strangers (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)
Safewords and Safesigns 101 (Source: kinkology.tumblr.com)
S.S.C. VS R.A.C.K. (Source: Justin Medlin / the-iron-gate.com)
Checklists, Communication and Negotiation:
BDSM Play Partner Check List (Source: Sovereign House / the-iron-gate.com)
BDSM Scene Negotiations (Source: daddyvinnie.tumblr.com)
Can I Get That In Writing: Basics of Negotiations (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Communication (Source: submissivesupportgroup.tumblr.com)
If I Ever See Another Checklist I Will Scream: An Extremely Thorough Play Checklist (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Negotiation Forms (Source: Jay Wiseman, SM 101: A Realistic Introduction / greenerypress.com)
What Are Negotiations Good For? (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Sub Drop and Aftercare:
Aftercare for submissives (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)
Aftercare for Dominants (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)
Aftercare for Switches (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)
Emergency Self-Administered Aftercare (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)
Sub Drop (Source: David Williams / subshelpingsubs.tripod.com)
Sub Drop and Aftercare (Source: desires-of-a-domimant-man.tumblr.com)
Dominance and Dominants:
A Dominant is NOT… (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Advice to a Novice Dom (Source: Washington Sexuality University / the-iron-gate.com)
Advice to a Novice Dominant (Source: cherhatton.tumblr.com)
An Open Letter To A Novice Dom (Source: evilmonk.org)
Qualities of A Successful Dominant (Source: Polly Peachum / the-iron-gate.com)
Daddy Doms: They’re Not What You Think (Source: edenfantasys.com)
Domination for Nice Guys (Source: Franklin Veaux / the-iron-gate.com)
How To Spot A Non Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Learning To Be A Dom (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)
Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)
Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts - Part One: Dominants (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
The Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
What Is A Daddy Dom? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)
What Makes A Good Dominant (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)
What Should A Dominant Be (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Submission and Submissives:
10 Considerations For Inexperienced Subs (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)
A Submissive Bill of Rights (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
A Submissive’s Creed (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
A Submissive’s Ethics (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Introduction To Submission (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)
Learning to Trust Your Instincts (Source: bewildbetruebekinkybeyou.tumblr.com)
Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts- Part 2: Submissives/Slaves (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Some Rules For The Submissive (Source: daddylookingforhisbaby.tumblr.com)
Submissive Owner’s Manual (Source: youmadememe.tumblr.com)
Ten Tips For The Novice, Heterosexual submissive Woman (Source: Jay Wiseman / the-iron-gate.com)
Warning Signs for Submissives (Source: RC Bauer / the-iron-gate.com)
What Is A Babygirl? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)
Books:
BDSM: The Naked Truth by Dr Charley Ferrer
Dear Raven and Joshua: Questions and Answers About Master/Slave Relationships by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera
Devil in the Details I: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - The Master, The Slave, The Power by LT Morrison
Devil in the Details II: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Mastery Refine: The Issues, The Skills by LT Morrison
Devil in the Details III: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Sustainable Structure and Traning by LT Morrison
Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by William Brame, Gloria Brame and Jon Jacobs
Living M/s: A Book for Masters, slaves and Their Relationships by Dan and Dawn Williams
Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice by Robert Rubel
Master/slave Relations: Communications 401 by Robert Rubel
Master/slave Relations: Solutions 402, Living in Harmony by Robert Rubel
Protocols: A Variety of Views by Robert Rubel
Real Service by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Phillp Miller and Molly Devon
SM101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman
The Control Book by Peter Masters
The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren
The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.
The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.
The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino
This Curious Human Phenomenon: An Exploration of Some Uncommonly Explored Aspects of BDSM by Peter Masters
Where I Am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook by Christina Parker
This is why I don’t tell 99% people im bisexual
Primal has various descriptions and meanings from the primal play community as a whole. Each rank also tends to mean different things or behaviors for many other primal play individuals or they do not believe in ranks at all. The biggest misunderstanding that I’ve seen about primal play is that it’s always animal play. That’s not true. I would classify animal play under the umbrella of being “primal.” But you don’t have to be animalistic at all to tap into your primal side. Many people have trouble acting on their instincts in bed. They’re too concerned with protocol. They frequently overthink and find themselves unable to relax. The resulting sex is often awkward and stilted. Acting on instinct is a very powerful thing. We reject the “shoulds” in favor of raw emotion and physical desire. Raw instinct can be rough, and it’s not for the faint of heart for when it does. It’s also not for partners who haven’t established the foundation of trust necessary for such an intense experience with their Alphas/Hunters/Predators etc. For some folks it’s wrestling, hair pulling, biting, nipping, or guttural/growling/mewling/chirping like sounds. For others, it’s laughter, tears, body-to-body massage, mutual masturbation, or licking each other everywhere. Power play, chasing, hunting down each other either one on one or as a pack or group establishment. It’s free from shame. It’s joy. And I don’t think there’s anything else in the world quite like it. The main types of play play in behavior is hair pulling, clawing, biting, scratching, hickies, scent marking (rubbing your faces against the other person to get your perfume/natural scent on them, if your into water play using fluids ,not everyone does this, or sharing your perfume/cologne with others to 'wear their' scents on your clothing or body. Other types are power displays by stalking, hunting, chasing down, wrestling till submission or who can be worn out first into submission, providing their strength that they are the best for that person (this often comes out during breeding kinks).
I Trust My Heart to You… by DanielKendi
Peachy Day by baby-ash featuring crystal stone rings
Oscar de la Renta short tulle dress, $3,055 / LE3NO military utility vest / Oscar de la Renta floral print pumps / Chloé mini shoulder bag, $1,345 / Pink gold diamond ring / Liberty jewelry, $220 / Olivia Burton pink dial watch, $98 / Thalia Sodi rose gold tone necklace / Accessorize crystal stone ring / Casetify iphone cover case / Long wearing lipstick / Victoria s Secret fruity perfume
Skater Girl by baby-ash featuring black shoes
Doublju plus size jacket / Pierre Mantoux thigh high tight, $235 / Converse black shoes, $69 / Ralph Lauren messenger bag / Chantecler 18k earrings / ROSEFIELD metal watch, $97 / Boohoo choker necklace / Lack of Color fedora hat, $175 / Lace glove, $3.66 / Tech accessory / Mac cosmetic / ZLYC Women Girls Sleeveless Casual Jersey Skater Dress with Contrast...