Whenever My Program Freezes

GOD THIS IS ACURATE!!! i have literal stacks of dozens of books to read, but im more interesting in this reid rn <3

I have the entire twilight saga and 3 bridgerton books that are untouched but i have read every spencer reid fan fic i can find on here

𝑷𝑨𝑰𝑫 𝑰𝑵 𝑭𝑰𝑳𝑳

Sevika x f!reader

Synopsis: You are worker in the brothel who had recently gotten attached to your client, Sevika, after countless nights of more passionate sessions. Until they suddenly stopped, leaving you with an aching heart.

A/N: Honestly forgot I had this in my documents, but thought I should post it (since we all love Sevika).

The first time she came to you, she was all easy smirks and smooth charm, her prosthetic hand cool against your waist as she pulled you onto her lap. Sevika had the kind of presence that demanded attention, the kind that made others shrink in her shadow or lean in closer just for a taste of her heat. You had been the latter.

She paid well. That was all that mattered at first. A client with deep pockets and a reputation that ensured no one would bother you when you left her room, skin flushed and legs weak. It was a simple arrangement: pleasure given, coin exchanged. Nothing more.

But then she kept coming back.

And you let her.

At first, it was nothing but indulgence—nights filled with laughter and the scrape of her teeth against your throat, her hand gripping your thigh in a way that made your stomach coil with something dangerous. She made you laugh, too, in a way few did. There was something intoxicating about her presence, the roughness of her voice, the heat of her gaze when she dragged it over your body like she was memorizing you.

Then something shifted.

One night, she stayed after. No rush to pull on her coat, no tossing coins onto the nightstand with a smirk before disappearing into the Undercity’s streets. She lingered, arm draped over her stomach, watching the ceiling like it held answers she wasn’t ready to share. You didn’t ask. But when she turned her head and found you watching her, something in her expression softened.

"What?" you asked, your voice quieter than usual.

She exhaled, long and slow. "Nothing. Just... comfortable."

The next time, she brought you a drink, one she swore you’d like. You sipped it from her fingers, let the burn of it settle behind your ribs, and tried to ignore the warmth curling beneath your skin at the way she watched you. She stayed again that night, but this time, she talked. Stories about fights she had won, men she had bested, but also things she shouldn’t have shared—memories from before she was who she was now. You shouldn’t have asked, but you did. And she answered.

It got harder to pretend you weren’t waiting for her. Harder to ignore the way your heart stumbled when she walked through the door, or the way your body leaned into her touch like it was instinct rather than necessity, like it had been there since your first breath.

And then came the night she kissed you slow. Not the usual rough, greedy clash of lips and teeth, but something deliberate, something aching. Something that made your fingers twist in the fabric of her shirt, made you press closer, desperate to chase whatever this was before it slipped through your fingers.

"This ain't what you do," she muttered against your lips, almost like she was warning you. "Ain't what I do either."

You knew that. You should have let it go, let her leave before the line between transaction and intimacy blurred any further. But instead, you whispered, "Then what is this?"

Sevika didn’t answer. Instead, she pulled you back in, and for the first time, she made love to you rather than just taking. Slow hands, lingering kisses, eyes that held something more than want. It was terrifying. It was thrilling.

When it was over, she didn’t leave. She laid beside you, arm draped over her stomach, staring at the ceiling again. The silence stretched between you, thick with unsaid things. You rolled onto your side, propping yourself up on one elbow, and ran your fingers through the short strands of her hair.

"Are you staying?" you finally asked.

Her eyes flicked to yours, unreadable. "Do you want me to?"

You swallowed, throat dry. "Yeah."

She let out a soft breath, something close to a chuckle but not quite. "Then I’ll stay."

You knew this had become something dangerous. Because you had let yourself believe, even just for a moment, that she might stay for good.

As attachments grew, you slowly stopped giving much passion to your job with other clients. You knew you needed the money, but the feeling no longer sat right in your chest. It only felt right when she came every night, when her hands traced over you in a way that no longer felt like a simple transaction.

But then, the visits slowly stopped.

At first, they became shorter. A hurried touch, a quick drink shared between you before she left, murmuring something about business. Then entire nights passed without her at all. The ache in your chest started as a whisper, then grew, a quiet panic every time the door opened and it wasn’t her.

One night, you waited longer than usual, fingers curled in your lap, stomach twisted in knots. The creak of the door had you looking up, heart leaping—only for disappointment to crush it just as quickly when you saw it was just another client. You forced a smile, but it felt wrong. Everything felt wrong.

Days passed. Then a week. Then two.

She was gone.

You told yourself you shouldn’t have expected anything else. That this was inevitable. That she was never yours to keep.

But it didn’t stop the tightness in your chest, the sting behind your eyes as you sat in an empty bed, wondering if she had ever truly meant to stay at all.

As you dwelled on it further, the confusion gnawed at you until you couldn’t take it anymore. You sought out Babette, the woman who ran the brothel—the woman who had taken you in when you had nowhere else to go. She was the closest thing to family you had, and if anyone knew what was going on, it would be her.

"She’s still coming around," Babette said, her gaze softening in concern. "Just not to you, sweetheart.”

The words hit like a gut punch. You blinked, feeling the air leave your lungs. "What?"

"She’s been with the others," Babette continued gently. "Sometimes just one. Sometimes more than one. But not you."

Your stomach twisted into something sharp, something ugly. You willed yourself not to cry, not to let the tremor in your hands show. But Babette saw it anyway. Her brows knit together as she reached out, fingertips grazing your arm in silent comfort.

"Maybe it’s better this way," she murmured, her voice almost hesitant. "You know how she is, sweetheart. She doesn’t—"

"It’s fine," you interrupted, your voice too quiet, too fragile. You forced a smile, though it felt brittle. "I was just curious. That’s all."

Babette sighed, her hand fully resting over yours now, warm and grounding. "You don’t have to pretend with me. I know what she meant to you."

You swallowed, hard, but the lump in your throat didn’t go away. "She didn’t mean anything to me. She was just a client."

The lie sat bitter on your tongue. Babette didn’t call you out on it, only squeezed your hand and nodded, her expression unreadable. But her silence told you she didn’t believe it any more than you did.

Whatever you thought you had with Sevika—it had only ever been a game to her. You were nothing more than a warm body, a convenient distraction. And when things started feeling too real, she had sought out others, made sure to remind you of exactly what you were: an option, not a priority.

The belief that you could be loved for more than your body had been foolish. And now, the ache in your heart was proof of just how deeply you had let yourself hope.

Days passed, each one bleeding into the next in a haze of exhaustion and quiet heartache. You went through the motions, welcoming clients with hollow smiles and empty touches, but the passion, the illusion, was gone. It didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel like anything at all.

You tried not to linger on the thought of her, but it was impossible when every shadow in the brothel seemed to whisper her name, when every quiet moment left space for memories you wished you could carve out of your mind.

Eventually, you couldn’t take it anymore.

“Babette,” you said one night, standing in the doorway of her office. She looked up from her desk, her sharp eyes softening the moment she saw you.

“Come in, sweetheart,” she murmured, setting down her pen. You hesitated, shifting on your feet, trying to find the right words. She noticed. Of course, she noticed. “What is it?”

You swallowed, forcing down the lump in your throat. “I need a few days,” you finally said. “Just some time.”

Babette leaned back in her chair, studying you the way a mother does when she already knows the answer but waits for you to say it anyway.

“You haven’t been yourself,” she said simply. “Not since—” She didn’t say her name. She didn’t have to.

You dropped your gaze to the floor. “I just need a few days,” you repeated, quieter this time.

She sighed, then stood, walking around the desk until she was in front of you. A warm hand cupped your cheek, gentle but firm. “You take all the time you need, baby,” she said, brushing a thumb over your cheekbone. “But don’t let this break you. You hear me?”

You nodded, though you weren’t sure if you believed it.

That night, you left the brothel and retreated to the small apartment Babette had helped you get years ago. The space felt both foreign and suffocating all at once, too quiet, too empty. You sat on the edge of your bed, staring at the floor, willing yourself not to cry.

This was supposed to be temporary. A few days to pull yourself together, to forget.

Because you had to forget.

Sevika was just a client.

She was never supposed to be anything more.

And yet, the ache in your chest told you that she had been.

And that she still was.

Sevika stepped through the familiar doors of the brothel, the heavy scent of perfume and liquor thick in the air. It was the same as always—soft laughter spilling from plush lounges, the low murmur of conversation, the occasional moan slipping past velvet curtains.

But it didn’t feel the same.

She had been here almost every night, distracting herself with fleeting warmth, with lips that weren’t yours, with the burn of whiskey numbing the gnawing in her chest. She convinced herself it was working.

Until now.

Her feet carried her straight to the bar where Babette stood, drying a glass with slow, practiced movements. The moment she saw Sevika approach, something flickered behind her sharp eyes—something knowing. Something unreadable.

Sevika didn’t care to decipher it. She exhaled sharply, leaning one forearm against the counter.

“Is she available tonight?” she asked, the words coming out rougher than she meant.

Babette didn’t answer right away. Instead, she set the glass down and folded the rag over her shoulder. Only then did she meet Sevika’s gaze, her expression unreadable.

“She’s not here,” Babette finally said, voice even.

Sevika’s brow furrowed. “She got a client already?”

“No.” A pause. “She’s been taking time off.”

Something in Sevika’s chest tightened.

“Time off?” She frowned. “Since when?”

“A few days now.”

Sevika’s fingers drummed against the counter, a growing unease curling in her gut. You never took time off. You needed the money, just like everyone else here.

“Why?” she asked.

Babette just looked at her. A slow, knowing look, one that made Sevika shift under the weight of it. And then, to her surprise, Babette let out a dry, humorless chuckle and shook her head.

Sevika’s eyes narrowed. “What?”

“Funny, you askin’ that,” Babette mused, picking up her rag again, wiping at a spot on the counter that wasn’t even there.

Sevika’s jaw tightened. “Just tell me.”

Babette stopped wiping, meeting her gaze dead-on. The look in her eyes was almost pitying. Almost.

“You really don’t get it, do you?” she said, voice blunt.

Sevika stayed silent, waiting.

Babette sighed through her nose before finally giving her the truth—the one Sevika hadn’t let herself consider.

“She got too attached,” Babette said, folding her arms across her chest. “And now she’s trying to wear that off.”

The words hit Sevika like a punch to the ribs, knocking the air from her lungs.

Too attached.

Trying to wear that off.

For a moment, she just stood there, staring, unable to process what she had just heard. Because that meant—

That meant you had felt it too.

The thing she had been running from, numbing herself against, drowning in booze and other women just to avoid facing.

You had felt it too.

And instead of dealing with it like she had, you had done the opposite. You had left.

Sevika’s fingers curled into a fist against the counter. The guilt, the frustration, the regret—it all slammed into her at once, a crashing tide she wasn’t prepared for.

Babette watched her, eyes sharp, knowing.

“You asked,” she said simply.

Sevika swallowed, her throat dry. She pushed off the counter, turning toward the door without another word.

She needed air. She needed a drink. She needed—

She didn’t know what she needed.

All she knew was that she should have never asked.

Because now, she couldn’t ignore it anymore.

Now, she knew the truth.

And there was no running from it.

Sevika stood outside your apartment door, exhaling a slow breath. The hallway smelled of damp wood and old cigarette smoke, the dim lighting flickering overhead. She had stood in front of many doors before—some with intent, some without—but this one felt different. This one made her hesitate.

She had spent days, weeks, running from this, burying herself in distractions. But Babette’s words echoed in her head, stubborn and unrelenting.

“She got too attached.”

Sevika clenched her jaw and lifted her hand, knocking twice.

A long pause.

For a moment, she thought you wouldn’t answer. Maybe you were asleep. Maybe you’d left. Maybe you wouldn’t want to see her at all.

But then, the door creaked open.

And fuck—

You looked wrecked.

Your hair was undone, tangled from nights of restless tossing. The clothes you wore were loose and rumpled, as if they had been thrown on days ago and never changed. And your eyes—puffy, red-rimmed, still glossy with the remains of sleepless nights and silent tears.

Sevika had seen you in every state imaginable—laughing, breathless, flushed from pleasure. But never like this. Never broken.

Her stomach twisted.

For a second, you just stared at her, like you weren’t sure if she was real or just some cruel figment of your exhausted mind. Then, slowly, your expression hardened, and you began to push the door closed.

Sevika’s hand shot out, gripping the edge before it could fully shut. “Wait.”

Your lips pressed into a thin line. “What do you want, Sevika?” Your voice was hoarse, quiet, so unlike the teasing lilt she had grown used to hearing.

She swallowed, forcing herself to meet your gaze. “I just need to talk.”

A humorless chuckle escaped you, void of warmth. “Talk?” you repeated. “Like how you suddenly stopped coming to me? Like how you’ve been fucking around with everyone else?”

Sevika flinched at the bitterness in your voice. She had earned that.

You scoffed, shaking your head as you tried to close the door again. “No. I can’t do this, Sevika. Just—just leave.”

Panic shot through her.

Her hand pressed harder against the door, a crack of desperation in her tone. “Please.”

You froze.

Sevika never begged. Not for anything. Not for anyone.

But she wasn’t too proud to now.

“Please,” she repeated, softer this time. “Just let me explain.”

Your fingers trembled slightly where they gripped the doorframe. You didn’t move for a long moment, weighing your choices, weighing her.

Then, with a quiet exhale, you stepped aside.

Sevika took a slow breath and walked in.

She didn’t know how to fix this. She didn’t know if she even could.

But she hoped that she could at least try to.

The silence stretched between you as you both settled into the living room. You sat on the couch, curling your legs under yourself, arms wrapped tightly around your torso like you were trying to hold yourself together. Sevika hesitated before lowering herself into the chair across from you, elbows resting on her knees.

For a moment, she said nothing. She just looked at you, at the exhaustion on your face, at the way your fingers picked idly at the hem of your sleeve, at the hurt she had put there.

She exhaled heavily, rubbing a hand down her face before finally speaking.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” she muttered, voice rough, tired. “That—that was never my intent.”

You scoffed quietly, shaking your head. “Really?”

Sevika winced but didn’t argue.

She let out another breath, staring at her hands as she tried to put words to the mess in her head. “I—this isn’t something I know how to do,” she admitted. “Feelings, love—any of that shit. It’s never been something I was meant for. The things I’ve done, the life I live… it doesn’t make me the kind of person who gets this. Who deserves it.”

Your brow furrowed, but you stayed quiet.

Sevika clenched her jaw. “I was scared,” she admitted, the words almost foreign on her tongue. “Scared of what it meant. Scared of how easy it was with you. How much I wanted it to be real.”

She finally looked up, and the weight of her gaze settled heavy between you.

“I thought if I put distance between us, it’d go away. That I could just bury it, move on.” A humorless chuckle left her. “Guess I fucked that up too, huh?”

You swallowed, shifting slightly on the couch. “You could’ve just talked to me,” you murmured, voice quieter now, the sharp edges dulling.

Sevika nodded, dragging a hand down her face. “Yeah. I should’ve. But I was so caught up in running from it, I didn’t stop to think about what it was doing to you.” She let out a slow breath. “I didn’t realize—”

She stopped herself short, like saying it out loud would make it too real.

But then, she forced herself to look at you again.

“You liked me back.”

Your throat bobbed as you swallowed, looking away, suddenly finding the floor far more interesting.

“Of course I did,” you muttered, voice thick. “I still do.”

Sevika’s chest tightened.

She had spent weeks drowning herself in anything that could distract her—other women, alcohol, fights that left her knuckles bruised—anything to push away the feeling she didn’t want to face.

But now, sitting here, watching you—

She realized she had made a mistake.

A huge one.

Sevika took a deep breath, steadying herself before she stood, crossing the short distance between you. Her movements were slow, hesitant, like she thought you might flinch away. And at first, you nearly did—your body tensed, your fingers gripping the fabric of your sleeves as she approached.

But she didn’t force anything.

Instead, she reached out, calloused fingers brushing against your jaw before cupping your face with a gentleness you hadn’t expected. Her thumb traced over your cheek, hesitant, almost reverent.

“Let me fix this,” she murmured, voice barely above a whisper. “Let me make it up to you.”

Your breath hitched, eyes flickering up to hers, searching.

“Let me love you back.”

Her words cracked something open in you, something raw and aching. The weeks of confusion, of longing, of heartache—all of it threatened to overwhelm you. You could see the desperation in her eyes, the regret, the unspoken plea for another chance.

Slowly, your body relaxed.

Your hands moved on their own, fingers brushing over the cool metal of her prosthetic before gripping the front of her vest, pulling her closer.

Sevika exhaled shakily, her forehead resting against yours for a moment before she tilted your chin up, capturing your lips in a kiss that was nothing like the ones before.

It wasn’t rushed or hungry.

It was soft. Careful. Like she was afraid you might shatter beneath her touch.

You melted into it, arms looping around her neck, pulling her impossibly closer. The kiss deepened, her other hand splaying against your back, holding you as if you might slip away if she let go.

When she finally pulled back, her lips hovered just over yours, breaths mingling.

“I won’t run again,” she promised, voice rough with emotion. “Not from you.”

You searched her face, the sincerity in her expression, before nodding slightly.

“Then don’t.”

And when she kissed you again, you knew—this time, she wouldn’t.

A/N: Kinda noticed the amount of repeating phrases in this but I didn’t proofread and wrote it when I was sick so ignore that and hope you enjoyed it (and again, sorry for being gone for so long)!

Intimacy is not just about sex. It's having heart-to-hearts, staying up all night talking, sharing childhood memories, thoughts, fears, dreams & hopes for the future. It's uncontrollable laughter, direct eye contact and feeling each other without touching - it's exchanging energy

words to use when writing

Appetite:

craving, demand, gluttony, greed, hunger, inclination, insatiable, longing, lust, passion, ravenousness, relish, taste, thirst, urge, voracity, weakness, willingness, yearning, ardor, dedication, desire, devotion, enthusiasm, excitement, fervor, horny, intensity, keenness, wholeheartedness, zeal

Arouse:

agitate, awaken, electrify, enliven, excite, entice, foment, goad, incite, inflame, instigate, kindle, provoke, rally, rouse, spark, stimulate, stir, thrill, waken, warm, whet, attract, charm, coax, fire up, fuel, heat up, lure, produce, stir up, tantalize, tease, tempt, thrum, torment, wind up, work up

Assault:

attack, advancing, aggressive, assailing, charging, incursion, inundated, invasion, offensive, onset, onslaught, overwhelmed, ruinous, tempestuous, strike, violation, ambush, assail, barrage, bombard, bombardment, crackdown, wound

Beautiful: 

admirable, alluring, angelic, appealing, bewitching, charming, dazzling, delicate, delightful, divine, elegant, enticing, exquisite, fascinating, gorgeous, graceful, grand, magnificent, marvelous, pleasing, radiant, ravishing, resplendent, splendid, stunning, sublime, attractive, beguiling, captivating, enchanting, engaging, enthralling, eye-catching, fetching, fine, fine-looking, good-looking, handsome, inviting, lovely, mesmeric, mesmerizing, pretty, rakish, refined, striking, tantalizing, tempting

Brutal:

atrocious, barbarous, bloodthirsty, callous, cruel, feral, ferocious, hard, harsh, heartless, inhuman, merciless, murderous, pitiless, remorseless, rough, rude, ruthless, savage, severe, terrible, unmerciful, vicious, bestial, brute, brutish, cold-blooded, fierce, gory, nasty, rancorous, sadistic, uncompromising, unfeeling, unforgiving, unpitying, violent, wild

Burly:

able-bodied, athletic, beefy, big, brawny, broad-shouldered, bulky, dense, enormous, great, hard, hardy, hearty, heavily built, heavy, hefty, huge, husky, immense, large, massive, muscular, mighty, outsized, oversized, powerful, powerfully built, prodigious, robust, solid, stalwart, stocky, stout, strapping, strong, strongly built, sturdy, thick, thickset, tough, well-built, well-developed

Carnal:

animalistic, bodily, impure, lascivious, lecherous, lewd, libidinous, licentious, lustful, physical, prurient, salacious, sensuous, voluptuous, vulgar, wanton, , coarse, crude, dirty, raunchy, rough, unclean

Dangerous:

alarming, critical, fatal, formidable, impending, malignant, menacing, mortal, nasty, perilous, precarious, pressing, serious, terrible, threatening, treacherous, urgent, vulnerable, wicked, acute, damaging, deadly, death-defying, deathly, destructive, detrimental, explosive, grave, harmful, hazardous, injurious, lethal, life-threatening, noxious, poisonous, risky, severe, terrifying, toxic, unsafe, unstable, venomous

Dark:

atrocious, corrupt, forbidding, foul, infernal, midnight, morbid, ominous, sinful, sinister, somber, threatening, twilight, vile, wicked, abject, alarming, appalling, baleful, bizarre, bleak, bloodcurdling, boding evil, chilling, cold, condemned, creepy, damned, daunting, demented, desolate, dire, dismal, disturbing, doomed, dour, dread, dreary, dusk, eerie, fear, fearsome, frightening, ghastly, ghostly, ghoulish, gloom, gloomy, grave, grim, grisly, gruesome, hair-raising, haunted, hideous, hopeless, horrendous, horrible, horrid, horrific, horrifying, horror, ill-fated, ill-omened, ill-starred, inauspicious, inhospitable, looming, lost, macabre, malice, malignant, menacing, murky, mysterious, night, panic, pessimistic, petrifying, scary, shadows, shadowy, shade, shady, shocking, soul-destroying, sour, spine-chilling, spine-tingling, strange, terrifying, uncanny, unearthly, unlucky, unnatural, unnerving, weird, wretched

Delicious:

enticing, exquisite, luscious, lush, rich, savory, sweet, tasty, tempting, appetizing, delectable, flavorsome, full of flavor, juicy, lip-smacking, mouth-watering, piquant, relish, ripe, salty, spicy, scrummy, scrumptious, succulent, tangy, tart, tasty, yummy, zesty

Ecstasy:

delectation, delirium, elation, euphoria, fervor, frenzy, joy, rapture, transport, bliss, excitement, happiness, heaven, high, paradise, rhapsody, thrill, blissful, delighted, elated, extremely happy, in raptures (of delight), in seventh heaven, jubilant, on cloud nine, overexcited, overjoyed, rapturous, thrilled

Ecstatic:

delirious, enraptured, euphoric, fervent, frenzied, joyous, transported, wild

Erotic:

amatory, amorous, aphrodisiac, carnal, earthy, erogenous, fervid, filthy, hot, impassioned, lascivious, lecherous, lewd, raw, romantic, rousing, salacious, seductive, sensual, sexual, spicy, steamy, stimulating, suggestive, titillating, voluptuous, tantalizing

Gasp:

catch of breath, choke, gulp, heave, inhale, pant, puff, snort, wheeze, huff, rasp, sharp intake of air, short of breath, struggle for breath, swallow, winded 

Heated:

ardent, avid, excited, fervent, fervid, fierce, fiery, frenzied, furious, impassioned, intense, passionate, raging, scalding, scorched, stormy, tempestuous, vehement, violent, ablaze, aflame, all-consuming, blazing, blistering, burning, crazed, explosive, febrile, feverish, fired up, flaming, flushed, frantic, hot, hot-blooded, impatient, incensed, maddening, obsessed, possessed, randy, searing, sizzling, smoldering, sweltering, torrid, turbulent, volatile, worked up, zealous

Hunger:

appetite, ache, craving, gluttony, greed, longing, lust, mania, mouth-watering, ravenous, voracious, want, yearning, thirst

Hungry:

avid, carnivorous, covetous, craving, eager, greedy, hungered, rapacious, ravenous, starved, unsatisfied, voracious, avaricious, desirous, famished, grasping, insatiable, keen, longing, predatory, ravening, starving, thirsty, wanting

Intense:

forceful, severe, passionate, acute, agonizing, ardent, anxious, biting, bitter, burning, close, consuming, cutting, deep, eager, earnest, excessive, exquisite, extreme, fervent, fervid, fierce, forcible, great, harsh, impassioned, keen, marked, piercing, powerful, profound, severe, sharp, strong, vehement, violent, vivid, vigorous

Liquid:

damp, cream, creamy, dripping, ichorous, juicy, moist, luscious, melted, moist, pulpy, sappy, soaking, solvent, sopping, succulent, viscous, wet / aqueous, broth, elixir, extract, flux, juice, liquor, nectar, sap, sauce, secretion, solution, vitae, awash, moisture, boggy, dewy, drenched, drip, drop, droplet, drowning, flood, flooded, flowing, fountain, jewel, leaky, milky, overflowing, saturated, slick, slippery, soaked, sodden, soggy, stream, swamp, tear, teardrop, torrent, waterlogged, watery, weeping

Lithe:

agile, lean, pliant, slight, spare, sinewy, slender, supple, deft, fit, flexible, lanky, leggy, limber, lissom, lissome, nimble, sinuous, skinny, sleek, slender, slim, svelte, trim, thin, willowy, wiry

Moan:

beef, cry, gripe, grouse, grumble, lament, lamentation, plaint, sob, wail, whine, bemoan, bewail, carp, deplore, grieve, gripe, grouse, grumble, keen, lament, sigh, sob, wail, whine, mewl

Moving:

(exciting,) affecting, effective  arousing, awakening, breathless, dynamic, eloquent, emotional, emotive, expressive, fecund, far-out, felt in gut, grabbed by, gripping, heartbreaking, heartrending, impelling, impressive, inspirational, meaningful, mind-bending, mind-blowing, motivating, persuasive, poignant, propelling, provoking, quickening, rallying, rousing, significant, stimulating, simulative, stirring, stunning, touching, awe-inspiring, energizing, exhilarating, fascinating, heart pounding, heart stopping, inspiring, riveting, thrilling

Need:

compulsion, demand, desperate, devoir, extremity, impatient longing, must, urge, urgency / desire, appetite, avid, burn, craving, eagerness, fascination, greed, hunger, insatiable, longing, lust, taste, thirst, voracious, want, yearning, ache, addiction, aspiration, desire, fever, fixation, hankering, hope, impulse, inclination, infatuation, itch, obsession, passion, pining, wish, yen

Pain: 

ache, afflict, affliction, agony, agonize, anguish, bite, burn, chafe, distress, fever, grief, hurt, inflame, laceration, misery, pang, punish, sting, suffering, tenderness, throb, throe, torment, torture, smart

Painful:

aching, agonizing, arduous, awful, biting, burning, caustic, dire, distressing, dreadful, excruciating, extreme, grievous, inflamed, piercing, raw, sensitive, severe, sharp, tender, terrible, throbbing, tormenting, angry, bleeding, bloody, bruised, cutting, hurting, injured, irritated, prickly, skinned, smarting, sore, stinging, unbearable, uncomfortable, upsetting, wounded

Perverted: 

aberrant, abnormal, corrupt, debased, debauched, defiling, depraved, deviant, monstrous, tainted, twisted, vicious, warped, wicked, abhorrent, base, decadent, degenerate, degrading, dirty, disgusting, dissipated, dissolute, distasteful, hedonistic, immodest, immoral, indecent, indulgent, licentious, nasty, profligate, repellent, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, shameful, shameless, sickening, sinful, smutty, sordid, unscrupulous, vile 

Pleasurable:

charming, gratifying, luscious, satisfying, savory, agreeable, delicious, delightful, enjoyable, nice, pleasant, pleasing, soothing, succulent

Pleasure:

bliss, delight, gluttony, gratification, relish, satisfaction, thrill, adventure, amusement, buzz, contentment, delight, desire, ecstasy, enjoyment, excitement, fun, happiness, harmony, heaven, joy, kick, liking, paradise, seventh heaven 

Rapacious:

avaricious, ferocious, furious, greedy, predatory, ravening, ravenous, savage, voracious, aggressive, gluttonous, grasping, insatiable, marauding, plundering

Rapture:

bliss, ecstasy, elation, exaltation, glory, gratification, passion, pleasure, floating, unbridled joy

Rigid:

adamant, austere, definite, determined, exact, firm, hard, rigorous, solid, stern, uncompromising, unrelenting, unyielding, concrete, fixed, harsh, immovable, inflexible, obstinate, resolute, resolved, severe, steadfast, steady, stiff, strong, strict, stubborn, taut, tense, tight, tough, unbending, unchangeable, unwavering

Sudden:

abrupt, accelerated, acute, fast, flashing, fleeting, hasty, headlong, hurried, immediate, impetuous, impulsive, quick, quickening, rapid, rash, rushing, swift, brash, brisk, brusque, instant, instantaneous, out of the blue, reckless, rushed, sharp, spontaneous, urgent, without warning

Thrust:

(forward) advance, drive, forge, impetus, impulsion, lunge, momentum, onslaught, poke, pressure, prod, propulsion, punch, push, shove, power, proceed, progress, propel

(push hard) assail, assault, attack, bear down, buck, drive, force, heave, impale, impel, jab, lunge, plunge, press, pound, prod, ram, shove, stab, transfix, urge, bang, burrow, cram, gouge, jam, pierce, punch, slam, spear, spike, stick

Thunder-struck:

amazed, astonished, aghast, astounded, awestruck, confounded, dazed, dazed, dismayed, overwhelmed, shocked, staggered, startled, stunned, gob-smacked, bewildered, dumbfounded, flabbergasted, horrified, incredulous, surprised, taken aback 

Torment:

agony, anguish, hurt, misery, pain, punishment, suffering, afflict, angst, conflict, distress, grief, heartache, misfortune, nightmare, persecute, plague, sorrow, strife, tease, test, trial, tribulation, torture, turmoil, vex, woe

Touch:

(physical) - blow, brush, caress, collide, come together, contact, converge, crash, cuddle, embrace, feel, feel up, finger, fondle, frisk, glance, glide, graze, grope, handle, hit, hug, impact, join, junction, kiss, lick, line, manipulate, march, massage, meet, nudge, palm, partake, pat, paw, peck, pet, pinch, probe, push, reach, rub, scratch, skim, slide, smooth, strike, stroke, suck, sweep, tag, tap, taste, thumb, tickle, tip, touching, toy, bite, bump, burrow, buss, bury, circle, claw, clean, clutch, cover, creep, crush, cup, curl, delve, dig, drag, draw, ease, edge, fiddle with, flick, flit, fumble, grind, grip, grub, hold, huddle, knead, lap, lave, lay a hand on, maneuver, manhandle, mash, mold, muzzle, neck, nestle, nibble, nip, nuzzle, outline, play, polish, press, pull, rasp, ravish, ream, rim, run, scoop, scrabble, scrape, scrub, shave, shift, shunt, skate, slip, slither, smack, snake, snuggle, soothe, spank, splay, spread, squeeze, stretch, swipe, tangle, tease, thump, tongue, trace, trail, tunnel twiddle, twirl, twist, tug, work, wrap 

(mental) - communicate, examine, inspect, perception, scrutinize

Wet:

bathe, bleed, burst, cascade, course, cover, cream, damp, dampen, deluge, dip, douse, drench, dribble, drip, drizzle, drool, drop, drown, dunk, erupt, flood, flow, gush, immerse, issue, jet, leach, leak, moisten, ooze, overflow, permeate, plunge, pour, rain, rinse, run, salivate, saturate, secrete, seep, shower, shoot, slaver, slobber, slop, slosh, sluice, spill, soak, souse, spew, spit, splash, splatter, spout, spray, sprinkle, spurt, squirt, steep, stream, submerge, surge, swab, swamp, swill, swim, trickle, wash, water

Wicked:

abominable, amoral, atrocious, awful, base, barbarous, dangerous, debased, depraved, distressing, dreadful, evil, fearful, fiendish, fierce, foul, heartless, hazardous, heinous, immoral, indecent, intense, mean, nasty, naughty, nefarious, offensive, profane, scandalous, severe, shameful, shameless, sinful, terrible, unholy, vicious, vile, villainous, wayward, bad, criminal, cruel, deplorable, despicable, devious, ill-intentioned, impious, impish, iniquitous, irreverent, loathsome, Machiavellian, mad, malevolent, malicious, merciless, mischievous, monstrous, perverse, ruthless, spiteful, uncaring, unkind, unscrupulous, vindictive, virulent, wretched

Writhe: 

agonize, bend, jerk, recoil, lurch, plunge, slither, squirm, struggle, suffer, thrash, thresh, twist, wiggle, wriggle, angle, arc, bow, buck, coil, contort, convulse, curl, curve, fidget, fight, flex, go into spasm, grind, heave, jiggle, jolt, kick, rear, reel, ripple, resist, roll, lash, lash out, screw up, shake, shift, slide, spasm, stir, strain, stretch, surge, swell, swivel, thrust, turn violently, tussle, twitch, undulate, warp, worm, wrench, wrestle, yank 

thoma! finally finished yayy 🙈🙈

Some of my favorite words and phrases to describe a character in pain

coiling (up in a ball, in on themselves, against something, etc)

panting (there’s a slew of adjectives you can put after this, my favorites are shakily, weakly, etc)

keeling over (synonyms are words like collapsing, which is equally as good but overused in media)

trembling/shivering (additional adjectives could be violently, uncontrollably, etc)

sobbing (weeping is a synonym but i’ve never liked that word. also love using sob by itself, as a noun, like “he let out a quiet sob”)

whimpering (love hitting the wips with this word when a character is weak, especially when the pain is subsiding. also love using it for nightmares/attacks and things like that)

clinging (to someone or something, maybe even to themselves or their own clothes)

writhing/thrashing (maybe someone’s holding them down, or maybe they’re in bed alone)

crying (not actual tears. cry as in a shrill, sudden shout)

dazed (usually after the pain has subsided, or when adrenaline is still flowing)

wincing (probably overused but i love this word. synonym could be grimacing)

doubling-over (kinda close to keeling over but they don’t actually hit the ground, just kinda fold in on themselves)

heaving (i like to use it for describing the way someone’s breathing, ex. “heaving breaths” but can also be used for the nasty stuff like dry heaving or vomiting)

gasping/sucking/drawing in a breath (or any other words and phrases that mean a sharp intake of breath, that shite is gold)

murmuring/muttering/whispering (or other quiet forms of speaking after enduring intense pain)

hiccuping/spluttering/sniffling (words that generally imply crying without saying crying. the word crying is used so much it kinda loses its appeal, that’s why i like to mix other words like these in)

stuttering (or other general terms that show an impaired ability to speak — when someone’s in intense pain, it gets hard to talk)

staggering/stumbling (there is a difference between pain that makes you not want to stand, and pain that makes it impossible to stand. explore that!)

recoiling/shrinking away (from either the threat or someone trying to help)

pleading/begging (again, to the threat, someone trying to help, or just begging the pain to stop)

Feel free to add your favorites or most used in the comments/reblogs!

not to be buck wild but:

astarion x LG!paladin!Tav scenario. (cw: spanking, mild brat taming. minors dni)

he’s tired with how damned good you are, how nice and always trying to do the right thing, and yes maybe he seduced you into bed a little while ago and it was amazing and afterwards you held him and looked into his eyes and stroked his face and he felt more seen and protected than he had in two hundred years but —

but—!

you’re so… bloody… ugh. you’re so you. and if he looks at himself in your light for too long he begins to realise how small he is. how pathetic.

how could someone like you really feel anything for someone like him?

so one night he goes to do a bit of light pilfering at the emerald grove. it’s not too far and he can sneak in over the walls, they’re not that well protected after all, and picks the things he thinks nobody will miss. a few gold here, a necklace there, a couple of potions—

and he thinks he’s gotten away with it until he comes back and finds you waiting in his tent.

you look softer without all that armour on, but no less broad. he can see the way your muscles glint in the low candle light. it makes him salivate, and not just for the blood he can taste from here that’s thrumming through you.

you ask him where he’s been, and he tells a lie (of course he does). you see right through it though. he finds himself obeying when you tell him to empty his pockets. the look of disappointment on your face is worse than any anger. he starts to defend himself, asking what you expected of him, he prides himself on sneakery, and —

you interrupt him by telling him to “come here”.

he obeys. he can feel himself getting hard. he’s so humiliated by it, but he knows the first time you touch him he’ll be gone.

slowly you pull him into your lap, then over your knee. his cock stirs in curiosity as you put your hand on his arse cheek, telling him clearly he’s going to have to learn with a slightly firmer touch. if he’s going to be a brat he’ll be treated like one.

you look into his eyes for consent. even now, you care. care about him.

he nods.

the first smack steals the breath from his lungs - breath not needed but inhaled when he saw you in his tent. his cock goes from half-mast to full.

the second has him mewling, rutting against your thigh. you move it just far enough to stop him and he realises he has become desperate embarrassingly quickly.

by the third he’s moaning, arse smarting but each little sting dancing through his body like lightning. he begins to leak in his britches, impossibly aroused just from this.

you keep going until he’s a blubbering mess across your lap. all he can do is lie there as his head empties, desiring only your touch.

eventually you ask him if he wants to cum. he begs, fucking begs, but he’s too blissed out to care how needy he’s become - as your hand snakes round to cup him it only takes a couple of strokes over his trousers until he’s releasing in them, cumming in his pants like a teenager.

you stay there for a moment, still, until eventually he feels you using your Lay on Hands to heal the ache in his cheeks. he grumbles - he would have been happy to carry about the smarting feeling - but then you sit him up and check he’s alright. touch his face and mutter how good he is, asking if he’s seriously hurt.

he thinks once again: even now, you care.

he’s never had that before.

the next day you make him return everything he stole. he can’t look at your thighs without wanting to be laid out over them again.

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“not all men” you’re right. sokka of the southern water tribe would never

Fiery Familiarity - Part 3

hey guys!! sorry it took longer than i expected to get this part out, i’ve been busy at work lol. also i realized i forgot literally like 3 paragraphs at the end of part 2 ;; they’re there now and they’re not crazy important but it’s something lol. enjoy part 3!!

words: ~1.9k

prologue | part 1 | part 2 | part 4

You resorted to carrying Toph, having her bend through the ground to tunnel closer to the camp. You stumbled out and fell to the ground, holding her defensively to shield her from more harm. “Katara, we need some help over here!”

“Toph, Y/n! What happened?” Katara cried, crouching at Toph’s side.

“My feet got burned!”

“Oh no, what happened?”

Toph’s sass started to come back, “I just told you, my feet got burned.”

Katara glared, “I meant how.”

Toph hesitated, “Well… We kind of went to see Zuko last night.”

“You WHAT?!” Aang yelled.

“Zuko?!” Katara cried incredulously.

Sokka let out a noise before Toph continued, “I thought he could be helpful to us.” Katara began to heal her feet. “And if I talked to him, maybe we could work something out.”

“So he attacked you?” Sokka asked.

“Well, he did, and he didn’t. It was sort of an accident.”

Aang had to ask, “But he did firebend at you?”

Toph sighed, reluctantly responding, “yes.”

Sokka started again, “See? You trusted Zuko, and you got burned. Literally!”

You needed to say something. “It wasn’t all his fault, Sokka! He was asleep and thought we were someone coming to ambush him. He tried to apologize, but she’d already been hurt.”

“It’s gonna take a while for your feet to get better,” she paused her healing, putting her water away. “I wish I could have worked on them sooner.”

“Yeah, me too,” Toph grumbled.

“Zuko’s clearly too dangerous to be left alone. We’re gonna have to go after him.”

You stopped listening as Aang and Sokka spoke, choosing to help support Toph and carry her to the fountain for some rest. But of course, you couldn’t get a moment's rest, as an explosion sounded moments later.

You all panicked, grabbing Toph protectively.

“Stop!” You all turned as you heard Zuko’s voice. “I don't want you hunting the Avatar anymore! The mission is off. I'm ordering you to stop.” Zuko tried to block Combustion Man, only to get shoved aside as he let off another explosion even closer to you.

You watched in vain as Zuko tried to stop him. When Combustion Man turned, you felt like everything went in slow motion. Your heart stopped as the explosion pushed Zuko off the ledge, you couldn’t help the scream you let out.

“Zuko!”

Sokka forced you down behind the fountain, only letting you back up once the explosion passed. You almost cried in relief when you saw Zuko had managed to catch himself on the roots hanging between the rocks.

As Aang and Katara used their bending to shield the group, you helped Sokka carry Toph behind the pillars as fast as possible.

“He's going to blast this whole place right off the cliff side!”

Katara tries to peek out, only for another explosion to set off, “I can't step out to waterbend at him without being blown up and I can't get a good enough angle on him from down here.”

You see Sokka’s eyes light up, “I know how to get an angle on him!” He grabs his boomerang, watching before aiming and winding up. “Alright buddy, don't fail me now!”

The boomerang whips into the distance and you hear Sokka cheer as it hits Combustion Man in the forehead. He tries to set off an explosion, but it backfires, and he only succeeds in blowing himself up along with a whole pillar of the air temple. You watch with bated breath, only releasing it when you see Zuko climbing up the root and onto stable ground.

You wait with the others as Zuko makes his way to you.

Aang looks up, “I can’t believe I’m saying this but… Thanks, Zuko.”

Sokka poses as he speaks up, “hey, what about me? I did the boomerang thing.”

“Listen, I know I didn't explain myself very well yesterday, I've been through a lot in the last few years, and it's been hard. But I'm realizing that I had to go through all those things to learn the truth. I thought I had lost my honor, and that somehow my father could return it to me.” He paused, looking down before continuing. “But I know now that no one can give you your honor. It's something you earn for yourself, by choosing to do what's right. All I want to do now is play my part in ending this war, and I know my destiny is to help you restore balance to the world.”

Aang’s face softened with those words, and you could feel hope rising in your chest at the sight.

Zuko turns to Toph, “I'm sorry for what I did to you.” He gave her a bow, “It was an accident. Fire can be dangerous and wild, so as a firebender, I need to be more careful and control my bending, so I don't hurt people unintentionally.”

You could tell that hit Aang in the heart, the memories of his first attempt rushing to the surface as his eyes widened and he looked down in quiet contemplation. He looked up, “I think you are supposed to be my firebending teacher. When I first tried to learn firebending, I burned Katara, and after that, I never wanted to firebend again. But now I know you understand how easy it is to hurt the people you love.” Aang bows to Zuko, “I'd like you to teach me.”

Zuko smiles, bowing back. “Thank you. I'm so happy you've accepted me into your group.”

“Not so fast. I still have to ask my friends if it's okay with them.” Aang turns to Toph, “Toph, you're the one that Zuko burned. What do you think?”

She grins, pounding her fist to get palm jokingly, “Go ahead and let him join. It'll give me plenty of time to get back at him for burning my feet.”

Aang smiles and looks at you, “Y/n?”

You hesitate, looking into Zuko’s eyes as you speak. “I know that there is good in his heart. He deserves a chance to show it. He’s the best shot you have at learning firebending.”

Aang nods, looking to the left, “Sokka?”

Sokka shrugs, “Hey, all I want is to defeat the Fire Lord. If you think this is the way to do it, then, I'm all for it.”

Aang nods once more, looking at the final person. “Katara?”

You watch sweat roll down Zuko’s face, a look of pure hope and fear in his eyes. She glares as she speaks, “I'll go along with whatever you think is right.”

Tension bleeds from Zuko’s shoulders as he steps forward. “I won't let you down! I promise!”

You carry Toph as the group bleeds out of the area, watching as Sokka tells Zuko to grab his things.

You hear Sokka calling to Zuko, something about lunch, after he shows him to his new room. As he slips out of the room, you watch Sokka turn to Aang and say, “Okay, this is really, really weird.”

You slot yourself behind a pillar, watching silently as Zuko pulls a photo out of his bag. You stay quiet for a moment as you watch his thumb rub against it. You see Katara lean against the doorway, his head whipping up as he feels her eyes on him. He stands as she begins to speak.

“You might have everyone else here buying your... transformation, but you and I both know you've struggled with doing the right thing in the past.” You watch as she walks toward him, standing inches from his face as she sneers, “So let me tell you something, right now. You make one step backward, one slip-up, give me one reason to think you might hurt Aang, and you won't have to worry about your destiny anymore. Because I'll make sure your destiny ends... right then and there. Permanently.”

You watch as hurt blooms on his face, his eyes wide and sad as he watches her leave. You hide behind the pillar as she slams the door. You wait until her footsteps and mumbled curses subside before you approach the door.

You knock on the door softly, “...Zuko?”

You hear shuffling before the door opens, a disheartened look on his face.

“Have you come to give me a piece of your mind, too?”

Your eyes softened before you shook your head. “Can I come in?”

He watched you with an indiscernible look before he stepped to the side and opened the door, giving you more than enough room to step inside. You slid in, taking a deep breath before you spoke up, “I’m sorry for Katara’s… outburst. I’m sure you can understand it comes from a place of love for her friends, but her protective nature comes out more threatening than it needs to.”

He looks down, “No, she has every right to be angry. After the things I’ve done, what my nation put them through… I don’t blame her for being mad at me.”

You nodded sadly, trying to find something else to take his attention off of the past. Your eyes lit up as you looked down at the bed, “Is that your uncle Iroh?”

His eyes snapped to meet yours, “I… Yes, it is.”

You picked it up gently, studying the painting. “Tell me about him.”

You could feel Zuko’s eyes studying you, but when you turned to meet his eyes, they were focused on the photo. “He is… the closest thing to a real father that I’ve ever known. He stood by me, no matter how childish, stubborn, or foolish I was. He cared for me in a way that my father never could. He is crazy and wise and tea obsessed, but I wouldn’t have made it this far without him. He loved and supported me, and I still couldn’t see it. I just wish I could go back and make things right.”

You studied his face as he spoke, awed at how beautifully he’d grown into himself. The sharp cut of his jaw, the gentle slope of his nose, the way his hair fell perfectly, long enough but somehow not in his eyes. And his eyes, Spirits, his eyes shined like gold, even in the muted sun. He looked ethereal. You could still see the youth in his face, just the slightest bit of softness left in his cheeks even with how active he was. You could see how the years had worn him down, his face full of worry lines even at 16. Even his scar, the skin now healed and rough, his left eye permanently squinted just so. He was perfect.

You realized he stopped speaking, looking at you with a sadness in his eyes you couldn’t bare. You traced the edge of Iroh’s portrait softly as you whispered, “You really love him, don’t you?”

Zuko inhaled sharply, his eyes widening as he searched your face. He smiled almost imperceptibly, “I guess I do.”

You held your breath, wanting so badly to hug him, reassure him that Iroh would forgive him, that everything would be okay… but you didn’t know him that well, not anymore. So you settled for a reassuring hand on his shoulder as you handed the portrait back. “The next time you see him, tell him. I’m sure he feels the same.”

You paused for a moment before slipping your hand away, beginning to trail towards the door. His raspy voice made you pause.

“What was your name again?”

You stopped in your tracks, inhaling sharply before casting a glance over your shoulder. “Y/n.”

You walked out before you could see his reaction.

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