Iconic Baseball Moment Of 2024 When The Guardians Announcer Said The Cubs Pitcher Wanted To Kill Himself

trying my hand at text posts

credit to @stop-that-train for the actual posts used (i sourced them from their f1 text posts)

I'm gonna cry why does it look like he's being microwaved

why do drugs when you could get high on the niche intersection of your special interests

we as a society don't appreciate how much of a cutie patootie kodai senga is

he makes me so deeply uncomfortable and no ad report button lets me express that (and no amount of reporting has made it stop)

Wh-whats going on??????

mets pitcher development squad so good it can even fix clay holmes

all of you with the f1 bingo card, fill in 1/16 of the home race win box. you have my permission

Breaking Down My Fantasy F1 Teams

#1: The Charlos Reunion

This is the one where I actually tried. Which is probably sad. So I’ll swiftly move on to:

#2: Archive Of Our Own

The governing principle of this team is that even if your cars go at the speed of an overheating camel, if your drivers have been carefully chosen to maximize sexual tension, they’ll get their freak on so hard that they will take over the sport.

#3: On The Origin Of Drivers

The idea of this team is to use natural selection to weed out the bad drivers early. By putting the rookies (with the notable exception of l*am l*wson b/c he doesn’t deserve employment) in the fastest cars on the grid, the inferior drivers will crash before they can reproduce, meaning that only the fittest of rookies can survive and pass their genes on to the rest of the grid.

Some may doubt the ethics of this strategy, but consider this: If we simply put Lance Stroll in a car capable of going Mach Jesus at the beginning of his career, he would likely no longer be here to terrorize the rest of the grid. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

mark vientos walked so kodai senga could RUN

LOOK AT HIM GO

life is too short not to be obsessed with sports in an abnormal and unwell manner