18 Years Ago.....

[One of those days] - [SKZ! Lee Know x M!Reader] ‼️[NSFW]‼️

Customers bustled in and out of the cafe you worked in. You let out a mute sigh as your hands skilfully made the cups of coffee lined up on the bar. You were running a full shift that day and the demands were high. You barely had time to stop for a breather but, you liked it. Time went by very fast and before you know it, you were moping the floor of the seating area, getting ready to close.

“Woah! Looks like we made 75% more than our targetted incentives! Thank you for you hard work M/N!” Your manager cheered behind the cashier giving you a thumbs up. Considering the size of the cafe you worked in, 75% was astounding.

You smiled, replying to him, “Thank you for your hard work too Hyung!”

You finished up mopping the floor and soon found yourself in the quiet street in front of the convenience store. You lit a cigarette, sighing in relief as you inhaled the cancerous substance you craved for the entire day. It had been a busy day indeed.

Ding

Your hands pulled out your phone from your pocket upon receiving the notification.

‘Lee Know Hyung’

You read the text again to confirm what it was saying and looked at the location sent with it. It was at least a 45 minutes ride but, if you were to ride on full speed, you would probably reach there within 25 minutes. You quickly geared up, and proceeded to the location. You weren’t gonna lie but knowing that his name pulled a string in your heart making anxiety arose was enough to make you speed through. The weather bled red as you ignore the pouring rain. You didn’t care that your skin pricked from the raindrops or the fact that you were soaked. Your main priority was to get to him. He needs you.

“Where is he?” You stormed into the house, leaving puddles of water behind you.

“Hyung! You’re here. That’s fast.” JiSung was the first to spot you, “you’re soaked!”

“I’m fine. Where is he?”

JiSung sighed, “third room to the left. He said he was fine but i know he isn’t. I tried comforting him but it didn’t help. I know you guys are on a break but he shouldn’t be alone so the rest suggested i text you.”

“Thank you,” You said, “I’ll figure something out.”

You waved ‘hi’ to the rest of the boys in the living room before making your way up the stairs ignoring the mess of puddles you left in your trail. You didn’t bother knocking on the door as you tiptoed inside, stripping yourself just at the entrance, leaving your soaked clothes there. You stepped into the room helping yourself to his opened luggage on the floor, you pulled out a sweatpants, putting it on before walking towards him. There he was, sitting on the window bay, knees tugged into his chest, head leaning against the window and as if he was a statue, he didn’t move one bit.

“Hey,” You whispered.

Lee Know didn’t acknowledge your presence but, it was nothing new to you. You squeeze yourself behind his frail, pulling him back into your chest. You plant a soft kiss on the top of his head as his tensed body slowly relaxes, sinking into your embrace.

“What do you need today? Food? Coffee? Boba? Ice cream? Chinese takeout? Or should I get you wrapped in a blanket roll and you can just stay warm and we can watch a movie? Or do you want bubble bath? I saw the bath bomb in your luggage, we can use it. What ab—,” you were cut off when he shifted, breaking out of your hold. You shivered at the loss of heat.

“You’re like an Iceland. You’re freezing. Where were you from?"

"Work." You simply replied as you pull him back into your embrace, warming up almost instantly at how warm he is, “wanna talk about it?”

Lee Know let out a soft sigh before leaning his head at the crook of your neck, his fingers find their way to yours and he lazily intertwined them, “it’s just one of those days. We were watching our debut survival show and it just kind of hit the trigger to everything. What would have happen if I wasn’t called back that day? Where would i be now? Would i have kept in touch with the others or would i have come to meet you?”

You hummed in acknowledgement as you gently scooped him off the window bay and laid him onto the bed, You slide under the covers with him, wrapping an arm securely around his waist and his head rested on your other arm. “Everything happens for a reason,”

“I know but it sucks,” Lee Know nudges his head gently to your chest, “having one of those days really sucks.”

“Yeah it does.” You acknowledged.

“I…I’m sorry.” You heard a sniffle but, you didn’t bother looking at his face. Instead, you pulled him closer to your chest, feeling his tears wet them, “I’m so sorry. I hurt you. I couldn’t do it. I don’t want to take a break from us. I can’t do it.”

You smiled, planting a kiss at the top of his head, “you know what? I can barely remember why we initiated a break or even had a fight in the first place.”

He sniffled, “M/N, you know that it was b—,”

You quickly cut him off, shushing him, “sshhh of course i know the reason dumb dumb but i love you so whatever it is, everything is in the past and we’re moving forward.”

“I love you M/N,” another wave of tears cascaded down his cheeks as he looked up to you.

You were indeed on a relationship break prior to where you were now. A few weeks ago, you decided to drop by JYP building with the intention of surprising him. Lee Know have had a very busy week thus, it had been days since the two of you saw each other, not to mention the lack of calls and texts too. Being such an amazing boyfriend, you had bought takeouts from Lee Know’s favourite restaurant, some snacks and also a bouquet of flowers, making your way to him. You were skipping in excitement, your smile widened at the fact that you were going to see your boyfriend and no words can explain how much you miss him. You stood outside the dance studio, bopping your head to the music and you patiently waited. For as long as you have known Lee Know, you know that he would’ve hated at anyone who interrupts a dance routine.

“It’s a wrap!” You heard the dance instructor announced.

You grinned and entered the studio, “SURPRISE!”

“M/N!”

“Hyung!”

“Aye mate!”

You received a chorus of replies from the members but your eyes only focused on Lee Know who didn’t acknowledge your presence. Instead, he looked mad.

“Hey baby, you’ve been busy and I’ve missed you.” You went over to him, “got some food and i got this specifically for you.” You held out the bouquet of flowers.

“You’re annoying!” Your eyes widened as Lee Know pushed you hard making you stumble a step back. The once rowdy dance studio instantly fell into silence. “Can’t you just leave me alone?! Why do you have to be here now?!”

“I missed you.” Your lips pressed together into a slight frown, “I knew you have had a tough busy week so i thought surprising would lift up your spirit even by a little.”

Lee Know sighed, running a hand through his locks, “but it isn’t! You being here just made my day even wor—-,”

“Stop.” You cut him off, “let’s take a second before you say anything that you might regret. You know what? Let’s take a break. Let’s take a break from us. I am not sure why or what had gotten you upset but if i really do annoy you that much, i apologise. We’ll take a break. Text me when you’re ready to talk it out.” You took one last look at Lee Know’s flushed face before leaving the studio. .

As you rushed out of the studio, you couldn’t help but let a couple of tears stream down your cheeks. Your heart ached, wrecking in agony but you held back a sob that threatened to leave your lips. You had no absolute certainty as to what you had done wrong and it was unfair but, you pushed all those negative thoughts to the back of your mind. It was probably one of those days. That had to be it.

“M/N, I’m sorry for hurting you, i truly am.” Your train of thoughts were broken by Lee Know’s voice.

You sniffed, flashing him a gentle smile, “it’s okay. We’re okay.” You assured planting light kisses on his forehead trailing off to his eyes, cheeks, jaws and landed on his lips. As you kiss him, you realise how chapped his lips were and that was enough to know that he hasn’t been doing well in taking care of himself. “Miss me much?” You teased as you break apart the kiss, sucking in a deep breath to catch your breath.

“Infinity.” Lee Know pouts and slams his lips against yours aggressively.

Soon, your hands travelled under his oversized shirt, gripping his thin waist. Lee Know gasped at the coldness of your touch, moaning as your hands slides under his sweatpants, grabbing his plump ass cheeks spreading them apart and Lee Know yelped out in surprise. You felt heat rush to your cheeks but, you quickly got back to your senses, retreated your hands from him.

“F—uck Hyung,” You breathed, “I’m so sorry i got too caught up and I’m advancing too fast and i d—,”

Lee Know giggled, cupping his warm hands on your cheeks, “I’m okay. We can go on.”

“Are you sure? Do you have any schedule tomorrow?”

“No schedule for tomorrow. We’re good.” He smiled.

You smirked, grasping his plump ass again, this time, manoeuvring him so that he sits on you, “good. I intend to fuck you so much that you won’t walk tomorrow.”

The body began to heat up as the adrenaline rushes through as you ran your hand on his body, remembering his sensitive intimate parts. You kissed, tongue fighting for dominance and his hands grips a chunk of your (h/c) locks, moaning as you slid his pants off and somehow yours off too. You gently put your fingers into his mouth demanding the latter to suck them. Obediently, he did, sucking and deep throating your fingers. You were even more turned on looking at his panting, drooling face as his eyes rolls back. You grab the back of his neck, pulling him into another deep chaste kiss as your moist fingers lingers around his hole.

“One.” You said and you pushed a finger into the ring of muscle. You begin moving your finger in and out of him. “Two.” You insert another finger into him and this time, you could feel his muscle tense over it, “relax baby.” You plant soft kisses down his neck to his shoulders leaving a definite marks.

“M/N—- ugh—fuck,” Lee Know moaned as you scissors him with a touch of roughness, hitting his sweet spot with precision, “I’m go—nna c—um.”

You smirked, adding another finger, stretching him further and he lets out a cry, gripping your hair as he feels the pleasure pain electrocuting him. “Three.”

“Cl—-ose, I’m so c—lose,” Lee Know’s body spasm as he reaches his high, cumming onto your stomach.

“That’s round one baby,” You licked your lips, “we’re just getting started.” You flipped the both of you so he was on all fours, you pushed his upper body down to the pillow. His plump ass lifted in the air, helplessly squirming, seducing you.

It was safe to say that M/N was in huge trouble and was constantly struggling to keep his raging dick from taking control, slamming itself into Lee Know mercilessly, pounding him hard and filling him to the brim. Your strong hand pressed on the back of Lee Know’s neck, holding him in place while your other hand positions your pulsing dick on his hold. You couldn’t help it so you slammed yourself hard into Lee Know in one swift motion. A soft groan left your lips feeling the tightness of him, the pleasure taking over the pain of how tight he was. You were sure if you were to move one inch, Lee Know would bleed.

“Baby, relax.” You coaxed. You could see tears began to trail down Lee Know’s cheeks, eliciting a soft sob from his lips. You leaned forward, planting kisses on the back of his shoulder. “You’re gonna tear us up if you don’t.” You gently wipe away

“H—uge, you’re too huge,” Lee Know hiccuped as he somehow manages to grasp your hand tightly. He was trembling. “You’re gonna pierce through me.” He took your hand putting it on his lower stomach and you smirked when you feel the bulge. He wasn’t lying that you were piercing him. “Slowly, please.” He cries and you got even turned on by that, “M/N! Why are you getting bigger?!”

You sighed and kisses his cheek, “I’m sorry baby. I can’t help it.” You lost control. You pull yourself out and slam back into him roughly. His moans and cries ignited the rooms, symphony to your ears as you relentlessly pounded deep and hard into him.

"Please..." Lee Know voice voice trembled, "Slow—wer, t-oo m—uch," His plea grew more urgent, his desperation palpable. "O-Oh, please, please, please, I’m so close! M/N! Pleaseeee,”

“Fuck-I’m close too- gonna pull out soon baby, just a little more.”

"No!" Lee Know’s response was vehement. "In—inside me. F—feel you.”

You chuckled lowly as your thrust intensified. Your hand find itself to Lee Know’s neglected member and with forceful yet gentle stroke, Lee Know cries out, climax overtaking him as his body responded intensely.

“There we go baby. You look so good baby.” You thrusted deep into him. Lee Know’s body arched and he released himself, splattering across the bedsheet. You groaned as you feel him clench around you violently. Your own pleasure was building to an inevitable peak and you gritted your teeth, intensifying your thrusts until the moment of release arrived. With one forceful thrust, you released yourself into him.

You gently turned Lee Know, still buried deep in him, “I’m sorry if i pushed too far. Was i too rough on you?” You softly asked as you press a kiss against his cheek and temple, wiping away the tears.

Lee Know weakly lifted his head, locking his lips onto yours. He lets out a soft moan, “it was perfect. I’ve missed you.”

You smiled, “I’m still not done you know.”

“I know, i can literally feel you grow inside of me now.” Lee Know giggled, “how about vanilla sex this time round.”

“Anything you want baby.” You kissed him. “It’s just one of those days.”

“It sure is. One of those days.” Lee Know let out a contented sigh as he links his arms behind your shoulders, kissing your cheeks.

One of those days, indeed.

masterlist

my ao3

kakashi hatake

fluff

breakfast with ninken kakashi x gn!reader, no warnings

changing my major kakagai, no warnings

a kunoichi's surprise kakashi x fem!reader, pregnancy

cold brew kakashi x gn!reader, coffee shop au

perfect for you kakashi x gn!reader, marijuana use

cupcake of the week kakashi x gn!reader, bakery au

together kakairu, cooking together, iruka adopts naruto

brownies kakairu, iruka adopts naruto, domestic

angst

orange sherbet kakagai, suicide tw, self harm mention, overdose tw, depression tw

friend killer kakashi kakagai, mention of gore, mention of vomit

another year gen, suicidal ideation, birthday fic

mirror gen, suicide attempt, character death

dysthymia 02 / 03 / 04 / 05 / 06 / 07 / 08 / 09 / 10 / 11 / 12/ 13 ongoing, depression, check chapters for tws

kabuto yakushi

STEAM, not STEM kabuto x sai, college au, EtL ish

when you thought I was asleep kabuto x sai, hurt-ish/comfort, domestic fluff

pop quiz kabuto x kakashi, established relationship, hospital angst

shino aburame

shino's strategy fluff, shinoten, mention of akamaru biting

shisui uchiha

operation itachi's birthday fluff, no warnings

tsunade

who tells your story angst, war era, mention of death

need LONG buddie fics i mean like 50k plus

[Not all wishes comes true] - [SKZ x M!Reader]

‼️Warning: Character!Death(s), Implied suicidal, Delusional ‼️

You found yourself walking under the rain, soaked from your head to toe. Your cheek throbbed, your arm hurts. You were tripped by a group of thug for god knows why while you were walking and fell straight on your right side. Your clothes were torn from the friction of the fall and you had grazed your arm on the rough surface of the ground. You were cold, you know that you were cold but, you refuse to feel it. Your heart was aching so bad that it was gradually turning numb. You felt nothing. You forced yourself to drag your feet to one destination in mind, the apartment. You wouldn’t call it home. It was just an apartment you rented after you left your family house the moment you turned legal and independent. It had been years that you’ve lived alone in the rented apartment, coming home to no one most of the time. You were just trying to live your life, to survive.

You just came back from the annual dinner with your family and as usual, it didn’t go well, it never did. Yet again, despite having a stable job, an adequate income, your family criticised you for not giving them money but hell, you did. You gave them half your income every month and you were walking by the thread to live in this expensive world. There are days you would go by with just one meal to save money and no one knew. Your family damned you to the ground, leaving you no chance to explain yourself. Being you, all you could afford was to just listen to them and stayed silent again.

“You’re doing it wrong, again!”

“How worthless of a child can you be?”

“You have nothing.”

“Everything single thing that happened in this family, it’s all because of you!”

“You can’t even do anything right!”

You thought they were right because when you think about what had happened in the past, you don’t see any fighting point. Even if you did, what’s the point of telling or showing to them because they will never change. Family sticks together, they said. Bullshit. You never believe in those because all this while, you were trying to be better, you were trying to succeed, to please them, to be someone to them. It wasn’t just your family that had always been an ache to your heart. Your job was demanding. You took up two job to support yourself and most of the time, you run on little to no sleep for days and on your off days, you usually sleep it off. You barely had a life to begin with. Your social life was a no go too. You barely had any.

You found yourself outside of your apartment, rummaging through your pocket for your keys. You were sure the landlord was going to give you a hell of a scolding with the puddle of mess you left trailing from the elevator to your apartment probably tomorrow. You finally found the keys and unlock the door, surprise to see shoes neatly aligned in front of the entrance. The apartment lights were switched on and it sounded chaotic. Chaotic? Why? You close the door behind you, slamming it lightly to alert whoever was in the apartment. You didn’t mind if it was a robber because just maybe the robber would shoot you in the head to escape and then you would just die. You were that tired that wanting to die was possibly the only thing that would excite you. You stood at the entrance, creating a new puddle on the floor as you again, rummage in your pocket, for cigarettes this time. If you were going to die, a last smoke wouldn’t hurt. You lit up a cigarette.

“Bab——y?” You looked up to see Lee MinHo, Lee Know, and your eyes widened, the lit cigarette slips out from your fingers.

“Hyung, what are you waiting for? Get him in.” Another voice, this time, Han JiSung appeared beside MinHo and your eyes meet.

“Seriously, you guys. Why are you staring at the door?” Lee YongBok, Felix, came in the picture. He gasped.

“Is M/N back? What’s the hold up?” Christopher Bang, Chan, walked over to the three of them and when he finally turn to see you at the door, he shouted. “M/N?! What happened?!” He was first to came to your aid. He cups your face tenderly, inspecting it like a detective. You almost sigh at how warm his hands were. “Sweetie? Baby? What happened?”

“I…..” You didn’t realise how dry your throat was, “I fell.”

“Oh my god! Someone please get a first aid kit.”

As if time had started moving, you watch as MinHo, JiSung and Felix scrambled back into the apartment and Chan helped you out of your ruined shoes. You were practically lifted into Chan’s arm and set on the floor of the living room. You didn’t have a couch by the way. Felix had stripped you off your soaked clothes and JiSung threw a bunch of towels he could find on you. You were butt naked under the bundle of towels that covered your frail. LeeKnow came running, tripping over his own foot but somehow manage to land in front of you with a first aid kit. You were overwhelmed with the four men panicking in front of you.

“Baby? Tell me if it hurts okay?” LeeKnow whispered as he cleans your bruises and cuts with the iodine. You only nodded, knowing that you couldn’t feel anything. You didn’t know what you should be feeling.

You close your eyes, embracing the fact that the four men surrounded you, warmed you up.

“Hey! We’re back!”

“Why is it so quiet?”

“Probably sleeping, i guess.”

“Do you think M/N Hyung is back?”

Four more voices rang through your ears. Your eyes drifted to the entrance and there they were. Seo ChangBin, Hwang HyunJin, Kim SeungMin, Yang JeongIn. They froze on their tracks when they see you.

“Hyung!”

“Jagiya!”

“My love!”

“Sweetie!”

They came running in front of you, pushing the other four out of the way and you chuckled. You couldn’t believe yourself but you actually chuckled heartedly seeing how the 8 men were somehow pushing one another to be in front of you or generally near you. At first, a chuckle from your lips, a mere hint of amusement. The laughter grew, taking on a manic edge as it bubbled up from deep within your chest. You felt your heart pound gradually, you didn’t like it. You didn’t like the fact that you were starting to feel all your emotions breaking through the numb facade. As your laughter reached a fever pitch, it abruptly died away, leaving a deafening silence. Tears streamed down your face unchecked, mixing with the remnants of your laughter as you crumpled and SeungMin catching your frail midway. Your body wracked with sobs. Every emotion fell through the cries and you just sob your heart out.

They are here. All eight of them are here. Your boyfriends were right in front of you, worried for you. How could you have forgotten about them? You had eight boyfriends, a massive polyamory family that had been together since 4 years ago. You had idol boyfriends that cared and loved you unconditionally despite the limited amount of time that you meet.

“Tired,” you croaked through your hysterical cries, “I’m so tired! I’m so tired of everything!”

“Let it out jagiya, let it out,” you heard SeungMin whispers and you fall into his chest.

“I’m so tired! I couldn’t feel. I felt numb. Why do you guys love me still? I’m a wreck, I’m a fxcked up! I’m so fxcking worthless! I genuinely forgot about your existence today. I was ready to die and all of you…..” you trail off, feeling your throat closing up, “you guys are here loving me still.”

“Forever and always till infinity and beyond, we promised.” ChangBin said.

“Forever and always till infinity and beyond, we promised.” You repeated feeling all the weight that bare you down being lifted indefinitely.

You met Stray Kids years ago when you had just left the family house. You were on shift at the cafe and they came in for a midnight snack. JeongIn was the first to talk to you and he introduced you to the rest of the group. You began hanging out with them occasionally and gradually, you learnt about each others. You learnt about their hardships and they learnt yours. In a nutshell, you guys knew each other so well that you can become the other person. Soon, you fell in love with each of them and you confessed openly. SKZ was taken aback but, they worked things out and all of you came into conclusion in a polyamory relationship. You certainly didn’t expect it to work but, it did. In a blink of an eye, you have been with them for 4 years now.

“Are you okay to tell us what happened?” HyunJin asked softly as he assuringly squeeze your thigh.

You nodded, “maybe after i put on some clothes?”

You saw all their worry dissipate and they laughed along. You got dress with the help of HyunJin and then find yourself seated in a circle in the living room. You saw various of food set on the plastic cover, what intrigued you was the birthday cake in the middle of it.

“Cake?” You questioned to yourself and your brain begin doing the math if you had forgotten anyone’s celebration today. “I….I’m sorry. Did i forget anyone’s birthday or anniversary today?”

“Baby,” JiSung pouts beside you, “It’s your birthday.”

“It is?” Your eyes widened as you look at the calendar on the wall. Shit. It is your birthday. How could you have forgot? Even your family didn’t say anything earlier on. You smiled bitterly as you shudder from the thought of your family. “I forgot I’m old.” You chuckled.

“My love,” I.N tenderly kisses you on the cheek, holding your hand firmly.

You smiled sheepishly and gulped down a cup of iced tea. You felt everyone’s eyes on you and you sighed, fishing for the right words to tell them what had happened, “but I’m okay now. Thanks to you guys.”

“Sweetie, we know that we’ve been very busy with comebacks and we’ve barely been contacting each other but,” Chan said.

“We’re still your boyfriend, if you ever feel overwhelmed, please call us. We’ll be here.” LeeKnow continued.

“If you were anything in this world, you’re our priority.” ChangBin declared.

“You will always and will be our priority.” HyunJin affirmed.

“You’re doing so well. The world is tough but you’ve persevered through this.” JiSung smiled.

“You’re stronger than every one of us.” Felix said.

“You smile the brightest.” SeungMin added.

“And you don’t have to bear everything on yourself. You have us.” I.N grinned.

“Forever and always till infinity and beyond, we promised.” You felt your cheeks flush when all of them said simultaneously.

“Now, why don’t you make a wish?” LeeKnow lighted the candles on the cake.

You close your eyes, hands clasped over your chest and you whispered, “I wish that what we have right now will stay within us forever. I really love all of you so much.” You took a deep breath and blow out the candles.

Little did you know, you reopen your eyes to the dark living room, seated in your drenched and soaked clothes. The bruises and cuts from earlier unattended. Tears stream down your cheeks silently as soft sobs left your lips. SKZ weren’t here. They never were, not after you lost them in an accident months ago.

Not all wishes come true.

also this genre of kakashi

THE SEQUEL !!!! OH MY GOD ITS EVERYTHING I DREAMED OF AND MORE- YOU DID SO WELL ON IT OMFG

ps - is there any name you would like to be called by ? i was going to call you kim, but i didnt want to assume ^^;

I go by the nickname AiXun. you can call me that dear 🤍

[New Year Kiss - SKZ Seo ChangBin X M!Reader]

M/N was not exactly the typical ‘perfect’ guy they said. In this world, we are living, it may be true that society was finally being open to a world of acceptance but, it was not yet for M/N. Honestly, if anyone would describe M/N at first look, M/N will be called as a delinquent. Not because of what he had done but, only because of how he looked.

Despite he looks and all the judgements given by others, there was that one man who stood strong in his life, loving him unconditionally. He was older than the latter, famous and adorable. If M/N could write a book about this man. He would produce a series of book for the latter. His name is Seo ChangBin.

Seo ChangBin was known as a member of stray kids. He was one of the talented producer better known in 3RACHA. ChangBin was known to be the muscular man, no doubt, the pulsing veins of the rapper whenever he worked or the huge muscle of his biceps, almost as thick as I.N’s face if one could compare it.

The two met at a new year party, where SKZ was invited as guests. M/N happened to be the best friend of the host. It was chaotic. M/N was just sitting by the bar, a cocktail in his hands when he noticed the rapper being pushed by the drunk dancers. Like a knight in a shining armor, M/N rescued ChangBin. He pulled the rapper up in his arm in a bridal way, did not even give him to say anything and walked away from the drunken.

“I…you… thank you.” ChangBin turned red tomato, stammering for to the younger. At first, M/N stared at the rapper, scan their surrounding before giving the latter a genuine small smile.

“You’re most welcome, Dwaekki right?” A chuckle left his lips and ChangBin felt his heart skip a beat.

“ChangBin, Seo ChangBin.” The rapper introduced himself. “Do I really look like a Dwaekki?”

“An adorable.” M/N beamed. “I doubt you should be away from your members. Where are they?”

“I just came back from the bathroom but, I seem to lost them.” ChangBin reasoned.

M/N looked through the crowd, squinting his eyes slightly. “I’m going to assume that one of your members has a blond hair wearing a rabbit ears headband.”

“Yes. That must be Lee Know.”

“If you walk just along the pathway behind the buffet, it’ll lead you to where they are.” M/N said.

“Well, I better get going then.”

“Hold on,” M/N called out, “if you don’t mind, can I get your number? I want to bring you out on a date.” Despite the boldness of him, ChangBin could see the clear redness spread on his cheek.

“Sure, of course.” The two switched their phone to let themself enter their numbers. “M/N. F/N M/N, that’s a really nice name. I hope to see you soon.”

“Very likely Dwaekki.” M/N grinned.

“10! 9! 8!” The crowd begin to cheer.

In the midst of the ruckus, M/N found the courage to hold the rapper waist, “Dwaekki, if you’re okay. May you do the honour to being my new year first kiss?”

ChangBin was taken aback slightly but, nonetheless, the moment the crowd erupted with a ‘HAPPY NEW YEAR!’, the rapper pulled M/N by his collar, linking their lips together.

And the love story begins.

A/N: Credits to ODDinary for the picture.

The fact that I am intrigued with this ship is just, WOW

pop quiz

this is my gift to nekomancer for @the-kakashi-lounge-blog holiday exchange!!

ao3

wc: 3.2k

summary: kabuto wakes up in the hospital and kakashi is there for him. kakashi x kabuto established relationship as adults

tw: hospital, blood mention, mention of injuries, memory loss

Everything hurt. Every inch, every fiber of his being, hurt. His eyes stung as his vision transitioned from fuzzy black to vague red, only to be cursed by blinding white. He groaned, moving to lay his arm over his face to protect against this undetermined threat. Then he attempted to open his eyes again to find the results exactly the same as the previous test. Had he not changed the variable?

He felt out his right arm, noting each chakra node as he sensed down from his shoulder. The stretch intensified the ache, then allowed some relief after a moment. Gradually, he wiggled his fingers. He was pleased to feel them follow direction. He continued with a wrist rotation. Satisfied with that range of movement, he advanced to checking the bend of his elbow. It appeared to flex correctly. Excellent. Finally, the shoulder. Thankfully, it responded, and he was able to block the light from streaming into his eyes as he began the arduous process of opening them.

After two or three minutes of this, he was successfully able to take in visual cues. Ceiling tiles. So he was inside. Fluorescent lighting. Inside a government-funded building. Primarily white, with metal accents. Hospital. Delightful.

In the corner of the room, someone snored.

He took a moment to take in as much of the room as he could before moving, to give himself as much knowledge as possible before possibly alerting this person to his consciousness. There was no way to know how safe he was with this person, and they likely had the home advantage of entering the space while awake. Once he had memorized the layout of the room and found three weapons within reach, he began the process of sitting up to get a look at his companion.

The man in the corner looked rough. His clothes were torn and dirty, stained with what was likely blood that had now dried and was flaking off. There was a layer of dried sweat clinging against his skin as tightly as the fabric that covered his lower face. His hair had a clump of mud in it and laid in every direction except down. His forehead protector was pulled down over one eye, a Leaf village insignia carved into the metal. Fairly standard shinobi post-mission aesthetic, honestly. The only thing that stood out was the well-worn orange novel held loosely in his hand. The back cover had the required content warning symbol embossed in red, marking it a pornographic book. Given the angle it currently laid at, as well as the shinobi’s chin drifting slowly toward his chest, it was clear that he had fallen asleep while reading it.

Who on earth falls asleep reading porn in a hospital room?

Someone in the hallway passed by the open door, stopping for a double-take when they noticed him sitting up in bed. “Dr. Haruno! He’s—”

Before they could finish their thought, a flash of pink darted around their frame and approached him with one hand glowing a muted pistachio green. The doctor hovered her hand over his body, running along its entire surface with a concentration on his chest and head. This went on in silence for nearly thirty seconds before she took a step back.

“Welcome back to the land of the living, glasses.” She snapped, then reached for the bedside table and handed him a bundle of wire and glass. “Suppose I can’t call you glasses ‘till you’ve got these on, though.”

He analyzed them in his hands, realizing the pieces were folded together. He kept his movements smooth to cover the uncertainty as he unfolded the contraption. Muscle memory took over and he flipped them around, bringing them up to his face and slotting them over his ears. Suddenly the pink blur became a person, and the snoring man became significantly more exhausted.

She reached for a clipboard and sat down. “How are you feeling?”

He took a moment, considered the dull ache registered by each nerve ending, and replied. “My third chakra node in my left foot is considerably damaged. Two of the nodes near my ribs are also in bad shape, though the rib itself may be broken and that could explain it. My head is throbbing, my mouth is dry, and I’m experiencing sensitivity to light. What am I looking at, chakra exhaustion?”

She nodded, making quick notes with her tongue tucked beneath her teeth. “Yeah, you presented with acute chakra exhaustion, though not a severe case. We were much more concerned with the abdominal bleeding, caused by several broken ribs. One of them is still on the mend. There’s only so much healing a body can take at once, you know how it is. A couple more sessions and that’ll be fixed.” Finished scribbling, she slapped the pen against the clipboard. “Your biggest concern was the head injury, though. That’s what we’ve been focused on. It’s great to see you awake.”

He shifted, struggling to push himself into a better sitting position. “How long have I been out?”

She leaned forward to help him into a more comfortable spot. “Four days. Well, three and some change.”

“And has he,” he nodded toward the sleeping nin, “been here the whole time?”

Something in the woman’s expression softened and her eyes filled with pain and something else he didn’t understand. “He has, yeah. He refused to leave your side, even if someone else promised to take over for him.” She cleared her throat, the mist over her eyes fading, replaced by a glimmer. “He insisted on being here when you woke up, and now he’s sleeping. Even without leaving the room, he’s still late to everything important,” she chuckled.

“He seems very…dedicated,” he murmured.

She grinned. “Yeah, he’s dedicated to two things: you and that stupid book.” She stood up, moving silently as she approached the man in the mask. Delicately, she stretched her hand out, reaching for the novel. As soon as her fingertips grazed the off-white pages, the book slammed shut and she jumped back.

“Not on your life, Sakura,” the man yawned, sliding the book into a pocket of his vest. After shaking off the rest he clearly needed, he turned toward the bed and froze. “Kabuto?”

He felt a tug of familiarity and nodded, throat suddenly dry. “It’s me.”

The shinobi was by him in a second, arms wrapped gingerly around his torso, squeezing as tight as they dared with a broken rib, and one hand lost itself in his hair. The man’s face was buried in his neck, and he smelled comforting. Kabuto found himself returning the hug, gripping onto the fabric of the military-issued vest. After a tense moment, the two separated.

“How are you? Are you okay? I didn’t—I couldn’t—I’m so sorry, Kabuto, I—”

Sakura pushed his chair directly next to his bed and guided the man into it. “Kakashi, deep breaths, everything’s going to be fine. Don’t make me admit you for a panic attack.”

Kakashi. Why was that so significant?

Kakashi cleared his throat, shaking his head and settling back into the chair. “I know, I just—” he took his hand, entwining his left fingers around Kabuto’s right to clasp them together. “I’m sorry I couldn’t prevent this from happening to you. I knew the mission was too dangerous for you to go alone, but you wouldn’t let me go with you.”

“I don’t know why I would refuse your help,” Kabuto said, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb across Kakashi’s hand. “You seem fairly capable.”

Sakura nodded. “He is when he keeps his nose out of that book.”

His gaze shifted down, watching his thumb reassure the shinobi next to him as if he had done it before. The soldier’s hands were calloused, but not dry or rough, and his fingernails were trimmed short. He wore a plain band, black, embossed with a diamond grid pattern, on his ring finger. It glinted dully, as if he had been wearing it for some time now.

Kakashi noticed his interest in their hands together and brought his other hand to wrap around Kabuto’s. He squeezed his hand, imparting some kind of meaning, then reached over to the bedside table where the glasses had been, and picked up something small and silver. Delicately, he took Kabuto’s left hand and slid the ring onto his fourth finger. It fit perfectly, and it sported a matching grid pattern and similar level of wear.

Ah.

“I was starting to worry you wouldn’t wake up,” Kakashi murmured. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

Kabuto bit back a bitterness that was rising in his throat. “You may have to find out.”

He gripped his hand tighter, shaking his head. “You’re going to be fine, Kabu. Sakura and the medical team have been working on you every day. You’re gonna come home any day now, right?”

Sakura, this time, did not nod. She made eye contact with Kabuto and reached out for her clipboard, making a note. Raising a flashlight, she stepped toward the bed.

“Go ahead and follow this light with just your eyes, please…” She moved it in lines, up and down and side to side. “Excellent. Now, can you tell me how old you are?”

Kabuto opened his mouth, ready to answer, but no words came. Sakura’s forehead crinkled, and she continued. “That’s okay. Can you tell me what year it is?”

His response was the same.

“What about who the Hokage is?”

Kakashi looked back and forth at them in confusion. “Kabuto, what’s going on? Just answer her, it’s simple.”

Kabuto cleared his throat. “I know that the first Hokage was Hashirama Senju. I know that my favorite color is purple. I know that your name is Sakura Haruno.”

“And my name?”

He swallowed, staring straight ahead. “I believe she called you Kakashi.”

The hand holding his grew cold, but the grip did not relinquish. “Kabuto. What’s my last name?”

They sat together in a painful, tense silence that grew worse with every passing second. Finally, Kabuto answered, “The same as mine, I think. But I don’t remember what that is.”

Before Kakashi could reply, Sakura jumped in. “Sometimes that happens with head injuries. It just takes a moment to remember silly things, but a lot of the time the memory comes back within an hour of waking up.”

Kakashi became stiff, his shoulders rigid and his face unreadable. “You said ‘a lot of the time’. Give me a number.”

Sakura flipped through pages on the clipboard, beginning an elaborately vague answer. Kakashi grabbed the thin piece of plastic, holding on to the metal clip at the top as if clinging to his own life. “Sakura. That’s my husband in this bed. We’ve been together for the better part of a decade. One more time—give me a number.”

She looked over Kabuto, then locked eyes with Kakashi, transitioning from friend to doctor. “Forty percent of patients. Thirty percent see memory restoration in the first twenty-four hours. Twenty within two weeks.”

Kabuto looked up, the light glinting off his glasses. “And the other ten percent?”

She swallowed and hardened her stance. “The remaining ten percent are unlikely to recall lost memories at all. And that’s further complicated in patients with a prior history of amnesia.”

The look on Kakashi’s face made it clear that he apparently had a history of amnesia.

“But we’re not concerned about that right now, okay? You’ve only been awake half an hour. Give it time, don’t stress out about it, and we’ll see what happens.” Sakura turned toward the door. “I’ll be back this afternoon for another round of healing on that rib. We’ll assess your memory then if you’d like. Sound good?”

Kabuto nodded, feeling strangely distant. “Sounds great, Dr. Haruno.”

With that, she left the room and took the only thing preventing sadness and awkward silence from setting in with her. Kabuto fidgeted with his blanket, noting the scratchy texture and trying to decide if it was nice, or familiar, or if other blankets felt different. He was pretty sure they could be softer. The one in his home was softer. And grey, he thought.

“Shuriken print?”

Kakashi looked up, startled by the intrusion to the silence. “Sorry?”

Kabuto raised a fistful of fabric up. “The blanket in the house. It’s grey with shuriken all over it, right?”

Kakashi’s face lit up, and he leaned forward. “It is, yeah! You chose the sheets; they have little beakers and test tubes all over them. The dogs hate them.”

“We have dogs?”

The light dimmed a bit, but the resiliency powered on. “We do. Kind of a lot, actually. They’re summons, though, so they’re not all in the house all the time. They don’t love your experiments—something about the smells—so they leave your lab alone, but there’s usually one or two in the house at any time. I think they’re all away now, though. They don’t like the apartment when it’s empty.”

Kabuto, on instinct, brought a hand up to Kakashi’s face. “You should go home. Take a shower, get something to eat.” His hand drifted into the mess of silver hair, then retreated back to his side. “You’re tired, Kakashi. I’m okay. I’ll be here when you get back.”

He shook his head, tucking his chin down to his chest. “I’m not going anywhere. Especially not now that you’re awake.”

They sat again in a silence for a few moments.

“Do you want a hair tie?”

It was Kabuto’s turn to be startled. “Sorry?

Kakashi pulled a thin black elastic band off of his wrist and offered it to him. “Your hair. You normally wear it pulled back in a ponytail. You say it helps you focus better if your hair isn’t touching your face, but I think you just don’t like styling it in the mornings.”

Slowly, Kabuto took the band and flexed his fingers against it, testing the stretch. After a moment, he raked his hands through his hair, pulling the silver strands up into a high ponytail. He fumbled with the elastic, unsure how tight to wrap it.

It was clear Kakashi was smiling beneath his mask. “Is that… Is that what feels natural to you?”

Kabuto felt the silliness but couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong. “Not exactly… Do I normally have a mirror?”

He nodded. “You do, yes. Do you want me to try and find one here?”

The tie snapped, stinging against Kabuto’s fingertips and landing on the floor. He swore using a swear word he hadn’t known before hearing it in his own voice, and Kakashi bit back a laugh. Kabuto sighed, leaning back. “No, you don’t need to do that.” Kakashi seemed satisfied with that, and pushed up his sleeve to find another hair band, this one purple. When he offered that up, Kabuto hesitated. “Can you show me how I do it?”

“Yeah, of course.” For a second, he leaned forward as if he were going to put it on Kabuto himself, but only adjusted the way he was sitting so he could have a better view. Painstakingly, he finger-combed through the thick locks of dirty hair that refused to obey gravity, organizing them one by one to lay flat against his head, pinning them against his skull with the palm of his hand as he went. Slowly, he gathered it all at the base of his neck, looping the hair tie around the bundle twice to knot it at his nape. The resulting ponytail was short and aggressively bristled, but present.

“Thank you.” Kabuto admired the effort that went into the demonstration. “You look handsome like this.”

Kakashi smiled, but there was no light in his eyes. “Thanks. I’ve tried a couple times to actually wear my hair like this, but every time I look in the mirror, I see my dad, and then I have to take it out immediately.” He shrugged. “You know how it is.” He paused, taking stock of the situation and Kabuto’s non-reaction. “I guess you don’t know, actually. It’s not important.” He slipped the elastic band off, freeing his hair and fluffing it back into place. “Ponytails are not for me. You, however, don’t look like yourself without one.”

Kabuto took a moment, ruminating on Kakashi’s words while he began the process of pulling his own hair back behind his head. For some reason, his muscles refused to remind him how this felt without a mirror to check his work in. Finally he gave in and turned to face his spouse.

“Would you mind helping me?”

Kakashi blinked several times in a row, then nodded, taking the hair tie and standing up. “Lean forward a little?” As Kabuto did, he stepped behind him and began running his fingers through his hair.

It felt normal. The sensation of this shinobi’s hands on his head, so close to so many vital and vulnerable places on his body was not frightening. Even if he couldn’t remember who this was, he knew in his heart that he trusted him with his life. This tiny act felt familiar, and comfortable, and warm.

All too quickly, the hair was gathered and Kakashi wrapped the purple band around it. “You normally do it three times. Four if the hair tie is stretched out. And then you kind of pull your hair like this—”

Kabuto’s hands went up to meet Kakashi’s, and together they tightened the ponytail. There were fireworks dancing in their fingertips, and they released the hair at the same time, letting it fall against his back. Kakashi returned to his seat by the bed, and Kabuto took his hand again.

“It feels right. This—this feels right, Kakashi.”

He smiled again beneath the mask, eyes glinting. “Good.”

His eye caught Kakashi’s wedding band, and he ran his finger over the engraving, focusing on it. It was there, just on the edge of his mind, what was the word—

“Hatake!”

Immediately, with deeply ingrained instinct, he replied “I didn’t do it.”

They both laughed, holding each other tenderly.

“Your name. Kakashi Hatake. This is your family crest?”

“Our family crest, yes.” He traced his finger over Kabuto’s ring.

“Something about seeing it, that helped. I think visuals are going to help me remember,” Kabuto said.

Kakashi appeared to make that a mental note, and started to list off things that might help bring back memories. In his vest and pockets, he had the Icha Icha book, some weapons, a photo of the two of them together printed on the same near-indestructible material that Kabuto used for his—

“Kabuto. I’ve got it.”

“You’ve got what?”

“I can’t believe I’m so stupid. I’ve been making fun of you for years, and you were right. You were completely,” he stood up, reaching for his shoes and slipping them on, “and utterly right, every minute of the way.”

“Kakashi? Care to let me in on the secret?”

He leaned down, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve been writing these shinobi skill cards. They’re flash cards for your entire life. You made them with this special jutsu paper so they’re really sturdy, and they require your chakra signature to be read, and you have literally a thousand of them, if not more.” He cupped his hand around his jaw, thumb gently gliding along his cheekbone. “Kabuto. You made the cheat sheet for your entire life.”

your top 3 kakashi moments and why? :) love ur art btw <3

I've been thinking about this for days! Except for one very clear no.1 moment it was really tricky to narrow these down. Anyway, I managed and I think it's fitting to start somewhere in the beginning.

Pocket Pack

Kakashi was a cool badass/adorable bedridden hero teacher in over his head this entire arc and it's all great but my favorite moment is of course when the kids start dying/leaking nuke juice and it's time for ninken daddy to get serious, like: "Zabuza, enough with the bullshit, I need you to meet my adorable bulldogs," and he just starts twirling.

And then he looks like a bulldog while he's doing the summoning?!?!! Like, he's never that scrunched up wrinkly faced at any other time and I both love and fear the implications of what a full Kakashi sage mode might look like.

I don't know what this hand pose is but it's giving Sailor Moon and I'm so into it. NEXT!

Putting the fear in ROOT

Teen Kakashi, standing in Danzo's doorway just after the old bastard tried to have his eye stolen. Like, not only is Kakashi badly injured and acting directly against the Hokage's orders here, he is also about to burst into ROOT solo to rescue the guy who hurt him and called him friend-killer. Danzo stood in front of all of his agents saying Kakashi's eye would be an easy target because nobody would miss him and except for a few notable exceptions he wasn't wrong about that. Kakashi is on extremely thin ice here. He still walks right on through like he's got every right to be there, quietly daring those guards to make a move against him and when they do he gives them the stink eye!

We rarely get to see Kakashi use genjutsu like this and it's so good and cool and unsettling. I love the whole ANBU arc but this part is so perfectly dark and and the stakes are so fucking high.

Dilating horrors... NEXT!

Crybaby ninja

There was no doubt about this moment. Nothing compares to it for me but I have no idea how to begin explaining why. There's too much to say and I would love to say it in a way where the words really capture the emotions I feel while reading and watching this scene but I'm not equipped to do that right now, or maybe ever. There are too many layers.

Kakashi opening Obito's eye for the first time, letting us see the devastating origins of "Kakashi of the Sharingan" is like... yeah I can't summarize that. But you know. You already know <3

It's what happens next that really hits me every single time though. The clip of animation that is without a doubt my favorite Kakashi moment. The manga panel has it all in a single frame but the anime really takes it all the way. The hurt, the rage and the resolve. He's so small and strong and I believe in him. That makes me believe in myself too. It's one of those 'this is how good stories are supposed to work'-moments I think. There are enough sorrows packed into this child character for us all to wrap ourselves in. It's been nothing but heartbreaking and scary and awful up until this point but right here, in this moment there is a promise of catharsis. A lightning strike in just the right place.

[It is what it is] - [SKZ Bang Chan X M!Reader]

‼️Trigger Warning: Depression, Rape‼️

It is what it is - The art of Acceptance

“Hi, you’re F/N M/N right?”

M/N stared at the red headed standing in front of him. He was a head shorter than him yet he could see the muscular build of the latter. He was smiling, widely may you add, enhancing his dimples. Cute. He was dressed in a simple black jeans and white pullover, the black backpack sling on his right shoulder. “I am. Do I know you?”

“Name is Christopher Bang, you can call me Bang Chan or just, Chan.” The latter holds up his hand.

Hesitantly, M/N took his hand giving it a firm shake, “so, do i know you?”

“Oh, sorry.” Bang Chan chuckled, “I’m your new roommate. I think our dorm leader, Lee Know should’ve mentioned about me.”

Oh. Roommate. M/N hasn’t had any roommate since he lived in the dormitory, or he did, twice but both of them declared M/N was a horrible roommate.

“I hope we get along and I’ll see you tonight back at the dorms. Gotta catch up with my friends.” Bang Chan flashed a genuine smile to the latter and M/N couldn’t help but stare at the retreating man as he walks away.

That was the first time M/N met Bang Chan.

“M/N! I got yo—WOAH,”

BUMP

M/N’s mouth twitched and a heart filled laughter echoed within the four walls of their room. Bang Chan had came running into the room with a piece of cake, excitedly may he add to which he didn’t realise the duffle bag in the middle of the entrance (Bang Chan left it there). The red headed had tripped over it, stumbling into the room, falling flat on his face with the cake smashed into his face. The moment Bang Chan lifted his face, M/N couldn’t help but laugh his heart out.

He wasn’t sure if it was the spur of the moment but, Bang Chan felt heat rushing to his cheeks. His heart thumped, skipping a beat looking at M/N’s widen smile and the sound of his laughter. It was unique. It’s been two months they’ve been roommates and Bang Chan still wondered why M/N was declared a horrible roommate. The latter did almost nothing but, study and sleep in their shared room. Bang Chan did most of the talking considering M/N was a much more introverted person than he was. They chat, at times but, just a short and simple one. It was just a hi-bye relationship you see.

That was the first time, M/N had laugh his heart out and the first time Bang Chan felt his heart flutter.

“I told you the temperature will drop today.” M/N scolded as he tugs Bang Chan into his bed.

It had been cold recently and M/N never failed to remind his roommate to dress up warmly on a daily basis. Bang Chan was a little hard headed thus when he caught a cold, there exactly isn’t anyone he could blame. M/N had voluntarily stepped in to nurse the latter. Bang Chan let out another sneeze, snots dripping down his nose. M/N grimaced looking at the disgusting green snot but, he cleaned it up nonetheless. Bang Chan felt himself drifting in and out of slumber, M/N sat just beside him, on the floor, his back leaning against Bang Chan’s bed frame. M/N accompanied him throughout the night. It was in bits and pieces but, Bang Chan knew M/N fed him medicine every 4 hours as the instruction directed. Bang Chan knew M/N helped him out of his sweaty clothes into something clean and warm. Bang Chan knew M/N complied on whatever he had whined.

That was the first time Bang Chan realise M/N was finally warming up to him.

“How are you good at everything?” Bang Chan whined as he walked alongside M/N.

They had spent the day out together since the school announced an urgent closure for the day. Initially, M/N, of course, refused but after Bang Chan continuously gave him the ‘puppy eyes and pouty lips’, M/N gave in and let the latter drag him everywhere. They ended up going to a nearby mall. Bang Chan dragged M/N into the arcade, challenging him to all the games that existed. Unfortunately for Bang Chan, he had lost against M/N on all the games. Bang Chan refuse to accept his lost and so, he dragged M/N to the ice skating rink. Bang Chan expected M/N to fall on his butt on first try but, no. As graceful as a swan, M/N skated across the rink and Bang Chan felt his heart flutter again. Of course, yet again, Bang Chan was not going to admit defeat. He dragged M/N out of the mall, this time to a basketball court just 5 minutes away from the mall. They played against each other with M/N winning effortlessly. Slouching, Bang Chan finally admit defeat.

“I’m not good at everything. I have flaws too.” M/N replied, “how about i treat you dinner so you can stop pouting like a baby?”

“I don’t pout like a baby!” The red headed denied, face turning red within seconds.

“Sure Channie. Sure.” M/N chuckled as they walk into the restaurant.

That was the first time M/N called him by a nickname.

They lay on the picnic mat (Bang Chan stole it from economy class) beside each other looking into the night sky. The night sky. A vast, endless, and unknown universe beyond the human eye. A whole new world. Bang Chan and M/N has been getting closer as the day goes by and in a blink of an eye, it had been a year since they met each other, became roommate, developing a whole new level of friendship. Bang Chan knows M/N was comfortable with him and he knows M/N likes him. Even if he didn’t say it, M/N was so obvious in showing his act of love to him.

“Hey Channie?” M/N softly calls out. Bang Chan hummed in response, “thank you for existing. Thank you for being my roommate. Thank you for being my friend. Ever since you suddenly emerge into my life, it feels like i can breathe again, i can see colours, i can live. You saved me from myself.”

Bang Chan could feel his heart skipped a beat on the latter confession, he tilted his body towards M/N seeing the flushed cheeks despite the darkness, “You’re most welcome M/N.”

“I….I like you Channie.” M/N confessed, “you…you don’t have to like me back or reply to me. I….I just needed to get it o—,” M/N was cut off when Bang Chan pulled him into a gentle yet heated kiss. Their lips moulded perfectly against each other, tongues tangled in their locked mouths, battling madly for dominance. They finally parted lips to catch their breath and at the moment of time, The love they shared was beyond explanation.

That was the first time M/N realise he had fallen for Bang Chan, hard.

F/N M/N, to sum it up, he wasn’t really looking for anything in life. He didn’t have a goal, an ambition or even a will to live. He was just an empty shell wishing to shatter away from the world. That was until he met Bang Chan. The excitement he felt waking up to seeing his roommate snoring away, oblivious of the rising sun, was just indescribable. The fluttering heart every time Bang Chan would simply smile or just, talk to him was absurd. No words can explain how he was feeling towards the latter or how he was developing a sense of will to live, for him, for Bang Chan.

He didn’t come from a good background to begin with. He didn’t know who his parents were, only knowing that someone left him by the trash can, bloodied, only wrapped in a ruined piece of clothes, he was only an hour old. Growing up in an orphanage, M/N wasn’t a bright kid. Whilst kids his age play together, enjoying the sunshine, M/N stayed in the room, simply reading. He was at the age of twelve when the caretaker told him that he was getting adopted. M/N thought perhaps there was going to be a change in his life but, reality was cruel. His adoptive parents were criminals. M/N was forced to sell his body to whoever his parents sent him to. He became a sex slave for his adoptive parents for a consecutive of three years.

At the age of fifteen, M/N have had enough. He was numb. He lost everything, he lost himself. He stood, towering over the bodies that lay in front of him lifeless, a gun in his trembling hands, naked. Everything was a daze. M/N couldn’t feel anything but, numbness. He couldn’t feel the throbbing sensation from the beating he had gotten earlier. He couldn’t feel the gushing blood that flowed out of his lower region from being forced to take in three men simultaneously. He couldn’t feel the tears that stream down his face drastically. He was just numb. That was the last thing M/N remembered before hearing sirens and authorities came running into the house and falling into a deep slumber.

The first thing he saw upon opening his eyes were the clouds painted on the room ceiling. He was in the hospital. Someone came into the room but, M/N refuses to look at the person. He couldn’t find himself to. Surprisingly, the person didnt make an attempt to talk to him, he just sat on the chair beside the bed, silent while he reads a book. It went on for a week, M/N counted the days.

“It is what it is.” The person said, surprising M/N.

That was the first time M/N finally looked at the person.

Hwang HyunJin. That was his name. He was 7 years older than M/N, a police officer who happened to be the one who responded to his case. HyunJin had took him in after his discharge from the hospital. HyunJin wasn’t much of a talker like M/N so there were barely any words shared amongst them but, what M/N knew indefinitely was that HyunJin became the reason for him to have a will of life. HyunJin cared for him deeply even if it was not verbalised, his actions said otherwise. Those times M/N would just have nightmares, he would always wake up to HyunJin sitting on the floor just by his bed, their hands intertwined. Those times when M/N would just hide away in his room, staring out of the window lifeless, HyunJin was there sitting beside him, accompanying him despite having said no words. Those times, M/N didn’t know what he was feeling but, tears kept escaping his eyes yet no sound was heard, HyunJin was there embracing him tightly. It took a year when M/N gradually open up to HyunJin. It took HyunJin by surprise when he came home one day, M/N came out his room upon hearing the doors.

“W…welcome back.” M/N shyly said before going back into the room. HyunJin still stunned, smiled widely.

That was the first time M/N realise HyunJin was his will to live.

Their relationships grew stronger than ever. Two birds of a feather. Almost inseparable. M/N finally felt as if he was himself for the first time in forever. He went back to school, made friends, lived his life as should a ‘normal’ seventeen year old. Everything was okay. Everything was perfect but, oh was he wrong. He was at home, waiting for HyunJin to come home after being promised that they were going to have a movie night. He had popcorns, soda and a various of movie cds readied. All that was left was Hwang HyunJin. He could hear the front door unlocking and opening, M/N excitedly got up from the couch, running over to the entrance and he froze. Hwang HyunJin stumbled into their house with not one, but, two gun shot wounds. He was pale, trembling as he struggled to take a step forward. M/N catches his frail before he could drop to the floor.

“M/N,” HyunJin breathed, “I…. I’m sorry, I couldn’t stay with you long enough. I need you to promise me something. I want you to live your life as you are now just, without me in it. I need you to accept the reality of life. It is what it is.”

M/N trembled as he held HyunJin’s frail tightly, his eyes clouded with tears that threatened to fall any time soon. HyunJin’s hand that once caressed his cheeks dropped lifelessly. HyunJin’s eyes fluttered as he heaves his last breath. As if M/N’s soul could bleed an ocean through the eyes, that was the enormity of his sobbing.

That was the first time M/N cried his heart out.

“Agh…. M/N….agh, i’m cu…mming,” Bang Chan moaned as his body reach its high. His legs spasming as it was wrapped around M/N’s waist. M/N let out a sinful moan as he came into Bang Chan, falling into the red headed embrace after. Their bodies tangled in between the sheet of their combined bed as they calm themselves down. “That was…. Wonderful. You’re so good in bed.”

A chuckle left M/N’s lips as he nuzzled his head into the red headed chest, “Channie.”

“Yes baby?”

“I love you.”

Bang Chan felt his heart thumped as his cheeks grew hot. Cupping M/N’s face, he softly plants a kiss on his lips. “I love you more M/N. W—-wait, why are you crying? D…don’t cry, baby.”

M/N sniffled as he giggles, “I’m just so happy. I love you Channie. I really do love you.”

There were no words that could describe how euphorically beautiful the moment was.

That was the first time they made love.

“I’ll be back a little late tonight. I’m going to get some drinks with my friends at the restaurant just across the street.” Bang Chan said as he puts on his jacket, “I’ll text you when I’m done baby.” M/N nodded as he plants a kiss to Bang Chan’s forehead, hugging the latter goodbye.

It was a Saturday. Bang Chan and M/N had spent the day cooped in their room, tangled in bed watching Netflix, ordering take-outs and just, spending the day together, enjoying each other company. It was just an hour ago when Bang Chan’s friend had invited him to get a drink. Initially, he didn’t want to go up but, M/N reasoned that he should since they had been spending so much time together that his friends may think that Bang Chan might have thrown them away. Not like M/N didn’t enjoy his time with Bang Chan but, he didn’t want to seem to be so possessive. They were in a relationship, yes but, it was okay to have some alone time still.

It was 15 minute after Bang Chan had left when M/N realise that the latter had left his phone on the study table. M/N chuckle at how forgetful his cute boyfriend could be. He got himself dressed, grabbing Bang Chan’s phone and left. M/N intended to drop his phone over at the restaurant and probably stop by the convenience store to get some snacks along the way. That seems like a plan. He walked into the restaurant, eyes scanning through to find Bang Chan and there he sat, his back facing him, happily chatting with his group of friends.

“I told you i could win the bet! Come on!”

M/N stopped on his tracks just a few feet away from when Bang Chan sat.

“Seriously how?!” One of his friends whined, handing over a few hundred of dollars to Bang Chan. M/N knew him. It was Seo ChangBin, one of his classmate. “The first two who i gave a bet couldn’t even stay in the same room as him!”

“It was easy.” Bang Chan shrugged, slipping the money into his jacket, “it was so fucking easy to get him to fall in love with me. It just took patience.”

“Bet you can’t get him to fuck you.” ChangBin challenged.

“Already did!” Bang Chan smirked, “he wasn’t even that good and oh, he cries right after it. He was all ‘I love you’ here and there then cried like a fucking baby.”

M/N felt his heart throbbed as if someone had stabbed him right where it was. A bet. A fucking bet, that was what it was all along.

“Can you believe it that there was once when he said that i save his life? I almost laughed so hard. I mean, what? Is he depressed or some kind of emo kid or just a fucking weirdo? It’s not like life is so hard to go through. It’s life. It’s pretty much normal yet he made it sound as if he’s living a horrible life. That’s so pathetic. It is what is it.” Bang Chan ranted as he pours himself a drink. He looked up wondering why ChangBin was silent and looked as if he had seen a ghost. It was then a phone, his phone was placed on the table side.

Bang Chan turned to see M/N. His eyes widened. Did M/N heard what he said?

“You left your phone, thought you might need it.” M/N monotonously said and he turns to leave.

Bang Chan quickly got up, grabbing his hand, “Wait M/N! I can explain.”

“No need.” M/N smiles as he tugs his hand out of the grasp, “It is what it is.”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Author’s Note: it’s pretty lengthy but, anyways, I might write a part two where Chan chases M/N. Should I?