I AM BEGGING YOU TO PLEASE, PLEASE READ VADER: DARK VISIONS BECAUSE I AM LOSING MY GODDAMNED MIND OVER

I AM BEGGING YOU TO PLEASE, PLEASE READ VADER: DARK VISIONS BECAUSE I AM LOSING MY GODDAMNED MIND OVER IT. DARTH VADER FIGHTS A DINOSAUR SHARK KAIJUU WITH LASER BREATH IN THE MOST DRAMATIC, EXTRA THING I HAVE EVER FUCKING SEEN IN MY LIFE AND I HAVE SEEN DARTH VADER KILL A DINOSAUR BIRD AND MAKE A SCARF OUT OF IT THE COMIC IS SO HILARIOUSLY OVER THE TOP THAT YOU SORT OF HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT HOLY SHIT, LOOK WHAT THE FORCE DOES, THIS IS WHY LEVEL 100 PSYCHICS ARE TERRIFYING AND ALSO WHY PIRATES CONSTANTLY TRIED TO KIDNAP THEM, BECAUSE WHAT THEY CAN DO IS INSANE, AN ENTIRE PLANET’S POPULATION WAS DRIVEN UNDERGROUND BY THIS THING, IT DESTROYED THE ENTIRE CIVILIZATION AND DARTH FUCKING VADER CARVES IT UP LIKE CHRISTMAS GOOSE IN TWENTY MINUTES TOPS HOLY SHIT BUT ALSO THIS IS PEAK FUCKING DARTH VADER JUST FLAILING THROUGH THE AIR LIKE THE GALAXY’S MOST DEADLY FIDGET SPINNER AND UPSKIRT SHOTS THAT ARE DRAMATIC TO THE MAX AND THE POOR ALIEN KID BEING AWE-STRUCK BECAUSE THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT A SACK OF GARBAGE THIS PATHETIC DUMBASS ACTUALLY IS (ANAKIN, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH) AND TO FINISH IT ALL OFF, DO YOU KNOW HOW DARTH VADER GOES BACK TO HIS STAR DESTROYER, AFTER HIS TIE FIGHTER CRASHED ON THIS PLANET? DO YOU KNOW HOW DARTH VADER HITCHES A RIDE BACK TO THE STAR DESTROYER?

HE CLIMBS ONTO THE TIE FIGHTER WHILE THE TRACTOR BEAM HAULS IT UP AND FUCKING RIDES IT INSTEAD OF GETTING INSIDE LIKE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IT’S ONE THING TO RIDE YOUR TIE FIGHTER WHEN IT’S A NICE SLOW DESCENT THAT YOU CAN CONTROL

IT’S ANOTHER FUCKING THING TO RIDE IT UP WHILE BEING SUCKED UP BY A STAR DESTROYER’S TRACTOR BEAM, YOU EXTRA AS FUCK GARBAGE BAG PLEASE READ DARK VISIONS AND IMAGINE ANAKIN SKYWALKER UNDER THAT MASK WHILE HE MAKES DRAMATIC POSES AND RIDES TIE FIGHTERS AND ALIEN HORSES AND LOSE YOUR MIND WITH ME