Worst Feeling In The World Is Knowing You Did The Best You Could, And It Still Wasn’t Good Enough.

     dear atlas, you cannot fall.           dear atlas, you cannot break.                dear atlas, you must endure.      for if YOU break, THE WORLD does too.

                                   ind. priv. sel.                     TAKASHI  “SHIRO”  SHIROGANE                    multiverse-centric. as adored by grey

Brandon Sanderson, The Emperor’s Soul

📃!!

Send a ‘📃’ for a short drabble involving our muses (Closed) || @kienokoru​

Shiro adapts to alien-care

In the briefest of instances, Shiro became aware of the void of sleep. He wanted to succumb to unconsciousness again (A secondary part of him marvels at the fact that he’s waking up at his own leisure, as opposed to being shaken or jolted awake by orderlies or nightmares), but in his half-asleep state, Shiro felt like something was up. Not wrong, just off—like he forgot something or slept on his leg weird.

As he faded further from dreams, and drifted closer to consciousness, Shiro understood what was the off feeling was about—his arm was wet.

One groggy eye at a time, he peels them open to the dingy motel room turned home-base. His sensations realign themselves with reality, and Shiro realizes that his prosthetic arm is the drenched one. The reason why is simple: Vanx.

Even as Shiro returned to the land of the living, she continued to gnaw on his arm—smearing her slobber all over the place.

It’s pretty gross. In a cute kind of way? No, no—Shiro prefers his limbs not-slobbered-on, even if his prosthetic arm could be power-washed. He half-mumbles in a groggy voice, “Come on, Vanx,” and jiggles his arm to a great clinking of teeth.

Vanx looks up—with her jaws still clamped down on his arm—and stares with big guilty eyes that scream, “I didn’t think you’d catch me red-handed.“

Vanx finally drops his arm and scooches some away. Grunting, Shiro stretches out his back. As sketchy as the mattress looks (and smells), it would’ve been better for him than leaning on headboard. Then again, a little soreness was the least of his worries.

Having popped as many cricks down his spine as he could, Shiro takes stock of his prosthetic arm; at least, he does after smearing it across the sheets, just to get the first layer of slobber off it. As he assesses for damage, Vanx pipes up with a more nervous-sounding yelp, “I swear I did not break any parts!”

Shiro realizes he’s been wearing a more so disgusted look. He is pretty grossed out, but he doesn’t want Vanx to think she’s in trouble. He’s not angry, or even really frustrated, so much as he’s just struggling. He’s never handled kids that teethed, much less kids that teethed like Vanx.

He’s seen her try to eat through walls.

Putting on a warm smile, his voice turns gentle as he tries to reassure Vanx. “I’m sure you didn’t, but we still need to be careful. I need this to get around and fight, too.” He’s been flexing his fingers and everything seems to be in order—no damage, and from the look of things, very few scuff marks. “You don’t want to leave me without an arm, right?”

“Oh.” Vanx blinks and her voice drops to low tone, something that suggests she better understands the gravity of the issue. “I am sorry.”

Shiro let out a small sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

“Yes, I am sure you would be very sad if you could not do any more arm wrestling.”

Shiro blinks at that, feeling a twinge of offense spring up in his gut. “That’s not– I don’t–” He sputters for a moment as he collects his thoughts. “I was arm wrestling long before I got this arm, ”

Vanx makes a face of scrutiny as she looks between either of Shiro’s arms. “But.. your flesh arm is so weak and edible.”

“Well, yes, but arm wrestling isn’t just about strength, you also have to have the proper technique, and–” Shiro stops himself before he goes too deep into that rabbit hole. He ignores the more disturbing half of Vanx’s comment, and tries to not to regret showing her how to arm wrestle.

It helped past the time, and it was fun game they enjoyed.

“Look, it’s not just about me being able to arm wrestle or not. This arm is.. apart of me.” He said the last part hesitantly, like he didn’t really want to admit it. For a moment, his eyebrows furrow together, but his expression evens-out again. “If you need to gnaw on something, then we can get you something like, uh.. chew toy?”

He cringed inwardly at that word choice. It felt a little dehumanizing, offering a little kid dog toys. Vanx, on the other hand, perked up at that. She sounded excited as can be as she practically squealed, “Really?”

Shiro reminds himself, once again, that alien kids usually like alien toys, and those aren’t always like human toys.

“Yeah, sure, I’ll get you the next one we come across.” Shiro laughed at the way Vanx fist-pumped to herself.  He swung his legs over the side of the bed, and as he stood up, he rolls both his shoulder to even more cricks and pops. “But, how about we have another rematch before we start off the day?”

Vanx beamed at the idea and scurried off the bed herself. With just a grunt, she   was already hefting the nightstand from the other side of the bed to the middle of the room (While she lacked any kind of technique, the kid had more than enough brute strength). She always thought she’d beat Shiro at arm wrestling, and Shiro would be lying if he said a small part of himself wouldn’t feel vindicated by beating her yet again.

But it’d all be in the name of fun and games, and it’d make for a good distraction from the grimy city outside.

@grimesucker​ sent:  ❛ Everyone has secrets and if you keep asking, you’ll see how far I’m willing to go to keep mine. ❜

across the universe   ☆☆   accepting.

  brought to an abrupt halt by the words, or perhaps more by the severe tone in which they’re spoken, shiro falls still and simply blinks at dox, eyes wide. while he’s NO STRANGER to dox’s more harsh tones of voice, it’s not often that they’re directed at HIM. typically, dox is talking to some other slumrat in this manner, whether they’re deserving of it or not, so whenever it does come ‘round to focus on him... shiro is startled every time.

it isn’t as though he’d been egging the man on or anything, either. yes, he may have been asking questions, but they had been INNOCENT  ---  mere efforts to understand dox better  ---  and not remotely forceful. ironically, these are usually the things that have made the mender snap at him in the past, too, although there have been times where the boy had been more insistent.

     “ i’m not trying to... ”  trailing off, shiro blinks again, hesitates, then lowers his gaze. he GETS that everyone has secrets. he GETS that people in the undercity have more than people on med-lev. he GETS that they’re willing to go farther to protect them. what he DOESN’T GET is why, even when they’ve practically become family, dox is so ABSOLUTELY ADAMANT to not share so many things with him.

for a moment, shiro remains as he is, but soon exhales a low breath. a step is taken back to signify him backing down from the confrontation  ( one that he didn’t want started in the first place )  and, turning away, he shakes his head.

     “ sorry. i wasn’t trying to upset you. ”

@grimesucker.

i read too quickly & thought shiro's name for dox was 'slut mom' 

he was considering changing it after receiving that text tbh

“we’re all killers. we’ve all killed parts of ourselves to survive. we’ve all got blood on our hands. something somewhere had to die so we could stay alive.”

— if memories could bleed, if dreams could scream | m.a.w (via dvoyd )

hope — my writing

@starwritten​   /   fantasy sc.

     ‘ weren’t you told to leave these woods? ’

  during his regular herb-gathering for the month, wherein he goes around the forest and collects bunches of the herbs which dox uses on a regular basis, shiro had come across an UNFAMILIAR SCENT. one which, upon being followed, has unexpectedly led him to a faerie. he’s never seen her before, but it’s easy enough to assume that THIS is the fae dox was complaining about last week.

despite the nature of the question, there’s no harshness to his tone --- merely SUSPICION. a shuffle of paws, and the werewolf shifts his stance, jostling some of the herbs tucked away in what is, effectively, the saddlebag across his back. head tilts, and his eyes watch her CURIOUSLY; it’s not often that he meets a magical being who isn’t a witch or a shaman or any of the more commonly found types. most magical creatures, for lack of a better term, don’t like to cross the boundary into dox’s forest.

     ‘ showing up uninvited around here isn’t the best idea, you know. ’

the undercity is a world created entirely by ghost / @grimesucker​. i recommend checking out his blog if the setting interests you because it’s incredibly well developed and full of amazing ideas and characters. i won’t be explaining details of the city here, only how shiro fits into the world. for more info and explanation on certain aspects, you can find that all on ghost’s blog.

age: 17+

nickname most know him by: fifteen  (given to him by dox; because he’s missing a hand, he has fifteen fingers & toes instead of the usual twenty)

original level: med-lev

after the death of his mother, shiro ran from the home for orphaned children  —  something he now recognizes as a dumb mistake.

while trying to survive on his own, he accepted help from someone who worked for 5liip, though he had no idea, and once this was found out by authorities, shiro was marked and sent down to the Undercity as punishment.

within his first few days trying to survive on his own down THERE, shiro stepped in to a fight in order to protect a stranger. this resulted in the majority of his right arm being cut off.

both his being cast down to the undercity and being so injured were actually planned by 5liip and executed at his order. shiro is seen as a perfect way to get at dox, who has a weak spot for kids and the ability to heal. though he’s unaware of it, shiro is a tool for 5liip to attempt to weasel his way closer to dox for his future plans.

a slumbrat finds the bleeding shiro and brings him to dox, who heals the injury and thus saves the boy’s life.

from here, shiro takes to crashing on dox’s couch, at first allowed to stay until he recovers. even once he has though, with nowhere to go and very little understanding of the undercity, shiro sort of just… stays. dox never actually kicks him out. he becomes an uninvited roommate but is eventually accepted as actually living there.

he helps dox out wherever he can, part to earn his keep and to try to pay the guy back. in particular, he helps out with the kids that dox watches over.

dox makes shiro a prosthetic arm. it’s low quality, made from spare parts he has around, but it’s functional and shiro  is eternally grateful for it.

shiro is regularly sent baskets of food from 5liip, an “apology” for his fate of being trapped in the undercity.

the slumbrats don’t accept shiro in the beginning, as he comes from an upper level, something he catches a lot of shit for. over a long span of time, however, they do come around, as he’s become something of a big brother to them all, helping dox to take care of them and often putting himself at risk for them.

in kind, dox and shiro develop a familial relationship over time. they’re brothers, they mean the world to one another, and will protect one another at all costs.

though it never affected him much when he was on med-lev, as they have technology to suppress and treat such things, shiro is chronically ill. in the undercity with none of the treatment he once had, he is faced with the symptoms for the first time in his life. the disease is one which affects his muscle function, causing them to tense and tighten severely to the point of pain and even difficulty moving the affected part of his body. some days it’s manageable and others he can’t really leave his bed.

overall, shiro remains fairly naive and idealistic compared to most others residing in the undercity  —  he doesn’t believe that everyone down there is terrible and he often steps in to help others, strangers or not. it’s something dox continues to give him shit for, though it never convinces him to stop.

this is an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE from shiro’s main undercity verse, an offshoot in a different direction which eventually meets with ghost’s ‘inheritance’ verse for dox.

initial events unfold the same, but this verse diverges in shiro being successfully manipulated by 5liip after meeting him face to face in the undercity. shiro agrees to join the gang {black bracket}, believing the things that 5liip tells him about it not being what dox has told him and accepting the help the gang leader says it will provide him.

this ruins the relationship between shiro and dox, the latter of whom hates gangs more than anything else. shiro is kicked out of dox’s home.

5liip replaces the prosthetic dox made for shiro which a much higher quality one.

shiro undergoes training to improve his fighting skills and he begins accompanying 5liip on jobs once he’s shown to be talented.

originally, he’s still little more than a tool to eventually bring dox to 5liip, to put dox in charge of the gang (shiro still, of course, completely unaware of this fact). he proves himself to be useful as much more than his, however, and ends up holding the interest of the gang’s leader.

5liip enforces the beliefs shiro gained from growing up on an upper level, that the people of the undercity (those unaffiliated with the {black bracket} gang, at least) are awful and undeserving of sympathy. this makes it easier to mold him into a perfect soldier.

shiro climbs through the gang’s ranks quickly, eventually becoming something of a third in command. 

eventually, shiro becomes a legitimately feared figure, as he’s a frighteningly talented fighter, has become quite ruthless, and, completely trusting in his leader, does whatever 5liip asks of him.

when 5liip dies and passes on leadership to dox, shiro is apprehensive at first. he’s been angry with dox for years for being kicked out and abandoned over one decision, and he’s grieving over the loss of someone who had been so important to him. he still trusts 5liip, however, and thus accepts dox as the new leader of the gang regardless of how he feels about the guy.

it takes time, but the two do make up and start to improve their relationship again.

dox makes shiro his second, but relegates him more to duties around the base rather than sending him on any jobs that require violence, not liking what 5liip has effectively turned him into.

this is frustrating to shiro, who feels he’s far more useful in the field, but he does as he’s told regardless.