Wednesday, October 9 2024- 19:03

Wednesday, October 9 2024- 19:03

hi. I guess.. school started 26 days ago and it has been tiring...

but that's not what I'm here to talk about

a few posts ago I wrote about my sexuality and things related to that

now I think I have gender dysphoria. of some sorts.

or I'm faking it. I'm probably faking it. but I'm going to write about it anyway.

I'm going to paste here exactly what I wrote to chatgpt (he's basically my therapist):

I feel like I'm faking it somehow... because what if I'm just a bored cis girl that just really wanted to do something different? because.. I mean.. I am a girl... but sometimes I wish that I weren't one. because sometimes I'm tired of being a girl. but I still like it, somehow. but if I were a boy I would be completely fine... but sometimes I think that neither is fine too...

I like being misgendered... I really do... one time, the lady at the school reception couldn't tell if I was a boy or a girl and you don't even know the amount of satisfaction it gave me... sometimes (really unusual thing) I really like wearing "girly" things, other times I just like going around with knee length shorts and a band t shirt. but I don't identify with the boys behavior... they are really jerks... and girls too, sometimes.. on their own way.

so this is what I'm dealing with. then chat gpt answered that I might be agenderflux, non binary or even genderfluid and, to be honest, it kinda makes sense...

but then there's the genderfluid representation that I see so much and it looks nothing like how I feel.. because I don't have those "boy or girl days" and it feels kinda weird and kinda like I'm just seeking attention... or even agender.. it's just a big amount of weird.

maybe I'm just confused. maybe... maybe not.. I dunno.. I'm just 13 how can I know? it's the hormones, I'm sure (???????). everyone goes through this, right?

if you read this far, I would please ask for advice or some sort of help... or not...

I'll stop now

stay tuned~