Lotr Version Because This Meme Encompasses My Entire Being

Saw someone else doing their Thorin headcanons so here are my Bilbo ones:

-Bilbo treats fili and kili like they’re children, this pleased thorin very much as he also sees them as wee pebbles

-Bilbo scolds all the young members of the party and they all stand there with their heads down mumbling apologies

-Thorin is mildy disturbed by the power Bilbo wields and often wonders how someone so paternal is not yet a father

-when the party finds out Bilbos actual age the entire party dynamic implodes for about three hours while they try to figure who this adult looking baby is on a quest with them and why Gandalf would do this to a child.

-Bilbo has to stand on a rock and explain to them that he is nearing in middle aged and is in fact a very respectable adult hobbit and not a dwarven child

-Kili starts calling Bilbo ‘baby boggins’ but when Bilbo catches him he very quickly rescinds this nickname for the sake of his ears while Bilbo will often pinch when he acts up.

-Bilbo brushed Fili and Kilis hair regularly, especially right before they arrive in any town or settlement (He’s pretty sure Kíli hissed at him once tho)

-Bilbo consoles Kili who is, by dwarven standards a wee bit of an uggo that his is very attractive by human standards and he shouldn’t feel bad, stating that is he were more clean shaven and cut his hair he would make a handsome hobbit (Thorin is appalled and begs his stupid impressionable nephew to not cut his hair)

-Fili likes Bilbo brushing his hair, unlike kili and often closes his eyes and has a little nap while the hobbit works

-Bilbo is confused why he can’t rebraid the boys hair, stating he used to braid his female friends hair when he was a sprout and the whole company is appalled that their sweet hobbit is such a scandalous little thing, courting so many women

It’s been a while some here’s some more dwobbit Frodo

Headcanons/my canon with this version of Frodo

-Frodo loves the rookery and spends a lot of time up there, sharing Bilbos biscuits with his feathered friends

-Thorin makes Frodo a sword with a mithril core called Khazinul, or the silent fang. Light enough for his half Hobbit son to wield with terrifying speed and in near total silence.

-Frodo is never likely to become king unless it is for a very short time towards the end of his life, he will likely step out of succession all together unless something happens to both Fili and Kili. And as such Kili trains him to be Filis other guard and the pair of dark haired Durin men look like slinking shadows behind the future golden king of Erebor and so they are given the name ‘Dûmkhaz’ or ‘twin shadows’

-it wasn’t long after Erebor was reclaimed that Frodo came into the world and Thorin couldn’t justify dressing his son up too much while his people were still finding their footing so he got a lot of very over sized hand me downs, the only new items he got where knitted by Ori

Add this to the list of shit I need to draw

Dwalin finding out that Thorin - his best and oldest friend, his king who he would faithfully follow anywhere - is in love with this small ugly bitchy little creature that hasn't stopped complaining since they left the shire and immediately falling to his knees in agony

If I was laying, mortally wounded on the battle field- would you take up my sword and defend me as I took my final breath?

Didn’t think so. Get out of my face.

I’m eating Nutella off the knife to cope

There is no frustration like sawing a highly conductive metal and having it basically turn into glue as the friction heat softens it, trapping your LAST saw blade.

Dude I just wanna make my fork.

I don’t know why Icarus level heights the gods thought I reached for me to deserve this treatment ???

but I would like them to know they are misinformed and to please stop hurting me.

Gorgeous boy, no notes

Young prince Thorin, ink & watercolor

Today I will try to use new brushes

I will be very brave

Also I went fishing

But I caught nothing so I wrote you all a poem to show my sadness:

Went fimshing

No fimsh

Only swogs

Honk bonk

Go away swogs

Self portrait for your viewing pleasure or what ever.

Yes I have my dogs out, sorry, that’s normal in my country lol