Is That Not Canon Haha, That’s Always How I Imagine Them 😭😭 Like Jaguars As Humanoids

Is that not canon haha, that’s always how I imagine them 😭😭 like jaguars as humanoids

Headcannon:

Tolkien describes many of the elves in LOTR as ‘beautiful and perilous’ or some other combination to the same effect. What if Elves created uncanny valley effects towards the other races of Middle-earth?

The elves keep a little too still.

They blink, but hardly enough to be ‘normal’.

Their skin is a little too perfect.

Elves’ grace feels more predatory.

They can be completely silent.

In conclusion, give me more unsettling Tolkien elves. Please, fanfic writers I beg you.

More Posts from Khazdmazerb and Others

2 months ago
Thorin Please, Use Your Eyes Man

Thorin please, use your eyes man

Nothing Like Your Dead Husband And Nephews Showing Up At Your Front Door To Really Stir Up A Quiet Tuesday

Nothing like your dead husband and nephews showing up at your front door to really stir up a quiet Tuesday night


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2 months ago
Told You Guys I’m A Real Serious For Realsies Art School Student :3

Told you guys I’m a real serious for realsies art school student :3


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1 month ago

There is no frustration like sawing a highly conductive metal and having it basically turn into glue as the friction heat softens it, trapping your LAST saw blade.

Dude I just wanna make my fork.


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1 month ago
If There’s One Thing That Motivates Me To Draw It’s My Dumb Ass Art From Two/three Years Ago.

If there’s one thing that motivates me to draw it’s my dumb ass art from two/three years ago.

I really thought I ate with that first one.


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2 months ago

How I think the different races of middle earth deal with mental health:

Tw: mental health, brief mention of suicide, brief mention of alcohol misuse

Please don’t read this if it will negatively effect you in any way.

It’s not that important, nothing i post is ever as important as ur mental health, I’ll see you in the next post :)

Hobbits:

Wouldn’t dare to talk about it for fear of scandal, when someone yeets themselves from the mortal coil everyone else says they drowned fishing or ate a bad mushroom. Really really bad vibes.

Humans and numenoreans:

Trying trying okay? ‘Talk to a friend or family member’, ‘have you tried going for a walk’ ‘make sure you eat lots of healthy colorful vegetables to keep the good humors up’

They don’t know what they’re doing but they definitely know that drinking about it is an answer, perhaps not the correct one, but definitely one of the answers of all time.

Elves:

They love being depressed. Everything is so god damn depressing about elves and they love it.

Seriously, if they could by melancholy flavored ice cream they would *

Dwarves:

(Note: please exclude a Mister Thorin Oakenshield from this description)

Actually generally pretty good about it, they live in the dark a lot of the time and as such don’t get enough sun and know that that is a very real cause of a bad head space, they have a lot of access to minerals and cold weather plants that work well to treat depression and a large enough work force that if you need a few days off to right yourself no one bats an eye.

Ents:

So bad at communicating that they scared the hoes.*

Goblins:

Couldn’t articulate their emotions if they were offered a gold coin the size of a shire door. *

Orcs/Orks:

Will complain to each other openly but lack any empathy to retain what others say to them so it’s just a sea of whinging and whining.

**I will also put a red asterisk next to everything that applies to Thorin because it’s funny and I’m mean **


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1 month ago

Spare tackled. Instantly.

I would never let anyone give me that look 🪦🪦🪦

You look at me like this and we’re both in the lava dude.

sam is better than me because i would've tossed frodo right into the fires of mt. doom if he pulled this shit after all we went through together

Sam Is Better Than Me Because I Would've Tossed Frodo Right Into The Fires Of Mt. Doom If He Pulled This

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2 months ago
Since You Were All So Nice About My Au Have Some More Dwobbit Doodles ☺️

Since you were all so nice about my Au have some more dwobbit doodles ☺️


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1 month ago

Does the one ring change sizes to fit its new ‘owner’ or (more likely story) Sauron has tiny weird baby hands.


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1 month ago

writing is hard but coming up with a cunty title and catchy summary will slay even god's strongest soldier

1 month ago

'he would not fucking say that' maybe he would if he knew he was starring in his very own porn fic for the sole purpose of delighting some freaks on archive of our own dot org. maybe he'd play it up for the cameras. ever consider that


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khazdmazerb - Crash Course In Being A Little Gay Weirdo
Crash Course In Being A Little Gay Weirdo

I’m actually a jeweler, I just love Bagginshield🥲18+ account, no terfs

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