Terrible Day To Be The King Of checks Notes A Barely Floating Barge Full Of Dirty Fish People?

Terrible day to be the king of *checks notes* a barely floating barge full of dirty fish people?

poor bard man like imagine you’ve just been nominated king (against your will) and just want to feed your people then get stuck in the diva off of the century and witness a very public breakup/attempted murder between one of the aforementioned divas and his husband who up until now you weren’t quite convinced wasn’t a 12 year old

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speaking on behalf of Thorin Oakenshield king under the mountain

More Posts from Khazdmazerb and Others

khazdmazerb

1 month ago

My wee niece is so cute, she’s only tiny and doesn’t really understand that me and my dad don’t do the same thing (he works with stone I work with metal) I gave her my dragon tail ring to play with and she looked up at me and goes you made this with grandad?” I puffed up a little admittedly when I said “No I made it all by my self” but I showed her my necklace and said “but he made this, it’s got fossils in it see?” And she asked if there was a dragon tooth in it.

(Her favorite thing to talk to me about it dragons now haha)

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khazdmazerb

1 month ago

Ladies and gents.

Comedy or something adjacent

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he’s talking about Legolas he doesn’t like elves and is not used to them

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khazdmazerb

2 months ago

Here you go babies, Teenage Dwobbit Frodo 😘 My silly little personal AU in which his is raised in Erebor.

He got all is his papas sneakiness and all his Adads terrifyingness, He’s really a very very sweet boy I promise😭

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lord of the rings bagginshield bilbo x thorin thorin x bilbo the hobbit fanart dwobbit frodo frodo fanart

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khazdmazerb

2 months ago

Bilbo Baggins may be Barrel rider

But I am simply ‘Barrel survivor’

I can not stress that enough that when I was a wee lad I was almost killed by a barrel. I have beef with barrels. Man fuck barrels dude

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khazdmazerb

1 month ago

Too many dragons lol

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khazdmazerb

1 month ago

Can i reblog this 7 trillion times? This is the cutestestest thing ever. (No composure. I just woke up)

More family shenanigans...

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SO CUTE thorin oakenshield bilbo baggins bagginshield bilbo fili durin kili durin fili and kili kili thorin's company bilbo x thorin thorin x bilbo the hobbit bilbo the hobbit thorin bilbo consort bilbo my beloved consort bilbo bilbo fanart bilbo loves thorin the company of thorin oakenshield king thorin dis durin the hobbit fan art thorin and dis the hobbit kili the hobbit fili asdgsfarahagafafagdgsfsgf dis dis I love you i love you thorin

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khazdmazerb

2 months ago

Papa Bilbo and his Dwobbit son, Frodo Halfstone - Son of Thorin - Son of Thrain

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lord of the rings bagginshield bilbo x thorin thorin x bilbo the hobbit fanart frodo baggins dwobbit frodo

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khazdmazerb

2 months ago

Just singed all the hair off my right hand at the forge. Nothing like basically casting fireball yourself 30 minutes before lunch

I smell like burnt hair 😭 I’m just lucky it wasn’t my eye brows

(I also got a splinter under my nail while I was shaping a disk. The smithy is trying to kill me, I don’t know what god I angered but I would like to formally apologize)

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khazdmazerb

1 month ago

I have some really rather shite pictures from the glow worm caves if anyone wants to see 👍🏼

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khazdmazerb

1 month ago

Just a reminder that the ONLY ethical consumption of Harry Potter is via theft or fan made content.

So it it wasn’t stolen or written better than anything that personified week old used, non organic tampon would muster - it’s not ethical. This includes watching it on the television when it is being played during Christmas

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harry potter fuck jkr tw jkr mention what a disgusting little wretch she is I used to love Harry Potter as a kid it was my special interest and it gave me an escape during a horrible time in my early life but I can’t even look at merch without bile rising in my thoat

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