I CANNOT Get Over @asexualzoro​‘s Headcanon That Brook Doesn’t Know Who Or What The Pirate King

HP META MASTERLISTS

Hey! Here is a big master list of all my favorite Harry Potter character analyses and Metas! I had so many saved and I didn’t know how I should organize them so I figured I put them in a post. I’ll be adding more when I find new metas and will be posting them here.

I DID NOT write these! Please do yourself a favor and check out some of the wonderful and intelligent writers of these metas as they deserve all the praise for their hard and impressive work!

If anyone of the writers for whatever reason wants me to remove their meta from this list just tell me and it will be done!  

Some of these may be contradictory to each other but that is because I like to hear other interpretations. These may not line up exactly with your view of the characters (not all of them line up with mine) but please try to be respectful.

*Almost all of these are from Tumblr except one from reddit and one from a outside blog.

Enjoy!

LUPIN META:

Remus Lupin: in depth analysis

Gentleman Monster: How Remus’s Marginalization and Comparative Privilege Made Who He Is

The Marauders Map scene in POA: Verbal Fencing Between Snape and Lupin

Lupin and his use of pauses and “ers”

Neither Likes Not Dislikes Severus…

Remus And His Use of Language + Sirius’ Dark Humor

Fanon vs. Canon: Remus Lupin Edition (reddit)

Lupin as a manipulator

Lupin is a gold standard for for the male manipulator trope

Lupin and how he presents in front of others

Remus would rather categorize himself with his oppressor than validate his own experiences.

Lupin and how he views himself

Prisoner of Azkaban: When Hostility Meets Passive Aggression

Remus’ “unmistakable signs of trying to live among wizards”

Remus lupin: Repentance vs Regret

Lupin lying to himself and others

Remus did a lot of “growing up” during the lost years

“And I haven’t changed…”

Remus Lupin: ENFJ

If Lupin and Tonks had survived the battle?

Lupin and the boggart lesson

Nearly Always Right: Remus and Harry

Remus with his own special brand of comforting logic

Remus Lupin at his most dangerous

Remus Lupin is so detached from things

Fanon vs Canon: “Remus is always sweet and kindly.”

Fanon vs Canon: “Remus is always sweet and kindly.” pt. 2

Snape and Lupin parallels

Harry/Remus dynamic

Lupin isn’t the middle ground in Mrs Weasley vs Sirius argument

Remus and what his friendships represent

Power game that goes on between Lupin and Snape in POA

SIRIUS META

Shame of My Flesh: Reading into Sirius’ Thoughts on Crouch Family

The Hogwarts Express scene in Prince’s Tale: A Sirius and Snape analysis

Sirius and Molly Argument in OOTP

Someone Like A Parent: The Beginning of Bond in POA

Snape, Sirius, and revenge Arrested Development – Sirius, Snape, Obsessions and Blind Spots

Why Sirius hated Snape so much

Padfoot and Prongs: an analysis of the friendship

Sirius and Walburga: the passive-aggressive Sticking Charm

Sirius and Walburga’s similarities

Regulus and Sirius’s relationship

Sirius and Lily

Sirius and Orion Black

Sirius Black and Complex trauma

Grimmauld Place: Azkaban by a different name

The worse thing Sirius Black has ever done || The ‘Prank’

Sirius Black, Mental Health and Masculinity

Part one

Part two

Part three

Part four

Padfoot and the Liminal Space

Sirius was not an immature man -child

Sirius is both emotionally and academically intelligent

Sirius’ sense of humor

Sirius Black the Loner

Sirius Black and Acts of Service

Part one: Sirius and the shadow of being a Black.

Part two: Sirius Black: the victim of the system he was born to rule

Sirius and Snape both want to be part of a world that they will never truly understand.

Fanon vs canon: James and Sirius are either very saintly or very evil.” pt 2

Sirius’s views on Death-Eaters: The world isn’t split into good people and Death-eaters.

James, Sirius and Snape: privilege and intelligence

Sirius and Regulus’s relationship is Kreacher

Sirius is not as explosive as he is often characterized.

JAMES META

James and Sirius had the best friendship in the story

“the marauders’ is essentially just three people wanting to be james’ best friend but only one of them actually achieving it”

Too Deep for the Healing

How does growing up with elderly parents affect James’s personality?

“the marauders’ is essentially just three people wanting to be james’ best friend but only one of them actually achieving it”

Ashes thoughts on James

Fanon vs canon: James became a reformed character for Lily’s sake

Fanon vs canon: James and Sirius are either very saintly or very evil.” pt 1

James Didn’t Suspect Remus - First War edition

James inner sense of nobility prevents him from killing

PETER META

Peter Pettigrew is emotionally intelligent and uses it in a strategic manner.

Peter is a Beautiful Scum Bag

Peter Pettigrew and the Werewolf Incident (Not as Much of a Key Event for Him)

Peter and Remus

MARAUDER META

Reading Marauders Dynamics in SWM

J/S vs F/G: different types of troublemakers

The rifts that made it possible for the Marauders to fall apart were evident even as far back as Hogwarts.

An Analysis of the Snape’s Worst Memory Pensieve scene

The marauders recklessness

The marauders individual relationships

Fallout of the “prank”

LILY META

Lily’s weakness is her fondness for being the exception

Lily and Altruism

Lily’s cold anger

Lily and her friendships

Slughorn’s favorite student

“Friendzoned”

Lily Evans is attracted to James Potter in Snape’s Worst Memory.

Interpretation of Lily’s blush

Lily and internalized misogyny

Fanon vs canon: Lily is either very saintly or very evil.”

Lily intended to break off her friendship with Severus before SWM

Harry’s relationship to the Prince as a blueprint for Lily’s friendship with Snape

Lily never hated Petunia

What’s Up with Petunia’s Resentment of Lily?

Lily is blind to the flaws of people she admires/loves unless it explodes in her face.

Lily’s feelings for Snape are more complex than fandom gives them credit for.

“Lily in nature”

SNAPE META

Snape and Class

Lily and Sev

How Dumbledore’s death speaks to Snape’s moral evolution

Feminist reading of lily/James/snape

James and Snape were rivals? Nah.

Snape was really traumatized by SWM

Snape being female coded

The extremely dysfunctional friendship of Snape and Lily

Trolly problem: Snape and Lupin

Snape: class and power

Lily Potter’s Son

Two up, two down

Snape and the Order confrontation of the Dursley’s

Severus Snape or the Importance of Body Language

Snape and the prince nickname

Snape was not upset over the lost of the order of merlin

Snape had to practice being a person

Spinner’s End (white hound)

Snape as a “bad victim”

Snape and queer coding

Dumbledoor, Snape and the werewolf incident.

Snape was his own man

a matter of perspective

Snape, Sirius, and revenge

Snape doesn’t want revenge

Snape and lily’s shared spirit

Snape’s use of language

Why does Spinners End matter?

HERMIONE META

Hermione and Ron don’t blindly trust harry

Hermione “character growth” with SPEW

Hermione wouldn’t like fiction

Harry and Hermione understand each other

Hermione can be very ruthless

Hermione and internalized misogyny

Book Hermione

Cool Hermione Things: Magic Under Pressure

Hermione IS soft

Hermione was born a leader and diplomat

Harry is in awe of Hermione

Mr. and Mrs. Wilkins: A Closer Look into Hermione’s Modification of Her Parents’ Memories

Fanon vs Canon: “Hermione is always sweet and kindly.”

HARRY META

Deconstructing Harry: The boy we meet in Philosopher’s Stone to the man in Deathly Hallows

Harry And Personal Conflict: A Meta On Evolving Dynamic With Ron and Hermione

The Resurrection Stone Scene: Culmination Of Harry’s Emotional Arc

The Resurrection Stone Scene: Culmination Of Harry’s Emotional Arc

The Dementors and Harry’s Complex grief

Harry’s intuitive, empathy related approach to morality

Harry identified with and reluctantly admired Snape even before ‘The Prince’s Tale’

Harry and Hermione in The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore

Harry and The Dursleys: Examining His Response to his Abusers

The Mirthless Laugh: Sirius and Harry

Harry and intellectual curiosity

The Potters and class

Harry-Hermione Friendship

On Harry and the adults in his life

Harry and masculinity

Harry’s quirks

RON META

Ron and the Horcrux: An Alternate Reading

Ron isn’t a strategist, he’s the heart

GOLDEN TRIO META

Gender Dynamics in the Trio, Part One: Gender and Subordination

WEASLEY META

“Lucky you”

Percy with F&G and Bill

Percy fell through a big crack

Is Ginny Upset That None of Her Family Noticed Her Disappearances/Serious Health Problems/Posession in her First Year? (If She is, They Still Don’t Seem to Notice)

Molly Weasley is a Misogynist

That Time Fleur Exploded at Molly and Became a Member of the Family

The Weasleys Aren’t Evil, Or Anything, But They’re Not Saints Either

Ginny, the diary, and her family’s reaction

Does gender plays a role in Harry and Ginny’s respective interactions with Voldemort?

Percy and Arthur were close without actually knowing each other’s true selves,

Ginny and writing failures

fred and george could be weirdly brutal towards ron

Percy, Fred, and George

Weasley siblings reacting to the expectations put upon them

Weasley analysis

OTHER CHARACTERS META

Bellatrix: Mental health and the feminist lens

Dumbledore as a Mentor

“all draco wanted was to be loved” debunked

Walburga Black: the madwoman in the attic

General Thoughts on the Black Family

Fanon vs canon: “The Evans family treated young Snape very warmly.”

Albus Dumbledore Has Done Great, Generous, Things for People (Though He Also Uses These People as Pawns Later)

Albus Dumbledore is not only respected and feared, but also loved

Trevor and Neville’s Boggart

Wandlore: Remus and Lily

Neville’s Boggart

The Abandoned Boy And His Problematic Fathers: Snape with Voldemort & Dumbledore

The Blacks are a family in decline

WORLD BUILDING

Hogwarts School Uniform

Why the Wizarding World Didn’t Oppose Voldemort

The Blitz Paved the Road to Voldemort

Hogwarts Houses by Muffin

How Old is the Bias Against Slytherin?

No, Really, the Hogwarts Houses Are Awful

House Elves Are Slaves

A History of Magic Brought to You By The Carnivorous Muffin

Light and Dark Magic is Stupid: Here’s Why

The Wizarding World Lacks a Key Understanding of Magic

The Wizarding World and Its Profound Ignorance of Muggles

The Slug Club is Actually Very Necessary

The Order of the Phoenix is a Useless Joke

MISC. META

Harry Potter as a colonial fantasy

Death as one of HP’s themes

The “not like other girls” syndrome in the Harry Potter books.

HP series being ‘ethically mean spirited’

Marauders era and the 70s aesthetic?  

JKR and chirstianity

Harry potter series and how american readers can understand classism a little better

Slytherin and Eton: A Primer on the British School System.

JKR’s absolutist way of seeing the world: gryffindor and slytherin

Héctor’s Flaws

I feel like a lot of people gloss over Héctor’s flaws a bit— largely, I suspect, because he is nowhere near the most flawed character in this masterpiece, and so the flaws he does have pale in comparison to Ernesto, or even Imelda— but he does have them, and they are pretty crucial to the plot.

Firstly, he can be pretty irresponsible.

I mean, the whole reason he’s with Miguel is because his reaction to finding a lost living child was “well, better spend all night coming up with zany schemes to get this kid to Ernesto” not “well, better report this kid to the relevant authorities, who will then be able to contact Ernesto and solve this whole mess”.

I mean, one could argue that since Héctor has a rather complicated relationship with the authorities at this point, he doesn’t necessarily trust them to help him, but then he’s perfectly willing to take Miguel in after the announcement at the Battle of the Bands. It seems more likely that it just never occured to him.

Another example is his attitude to other people’s belongings.

He borrows things from people— including apparently their bones (though, honestly, that one is on Chicharrón. After the mini-fridge, the van, the napkins etc. he really should have noticed that there was a pattern going on here)— and doesn’t give them back.

Most people seem to assume that these were all confiscated at the bridge, like the dress, and a lot of them probably were. But then look at how he loses the second dress.

He comes in right as Ernesto is trying to send Miguel home and then when Ernesto doesn’t recognise him he pulls the costume off, revealing his normal clothes— and tossing the dress and all the accessories aside.

He doesn’t even look to see where they land. Which is, I suppose, understandable— he’s kind of going through a lot right now— but it shows that he’s not exactly careful with the things he borrows.

Héctor’s irresponsibility sort of leads into our second, bigger flaw: it is fairly easy to talk Héctor into doing something he’s uncomfortable or unsure about. The most obvious example being leaving his family.

Now, we never get explicitly told that Héctor was talked into going on tour, but it’s pretty heavily implied.

The lyrics to ‘Remember Me'— “though I have to say goodbye”, “though I have to travel far”, “know that I’m with you the only way that I can be”— suggest that he didn’t feel like he had a choice about going, and then he outright tells Ernesto that gaining fame and fortune was “your dream, not mine”.

This certainly gives the impression that Héctor was maybe less on board with leaving home than Ernesto was, but got persuaded to do so anyway. His fatal flaw is essentially not standing up for himself and what he thinks is the right thing to do.

And what I find interesting about this is that Héctor does not change in this regard.

At the battle of the bands, when Héctor finds out that Miguel isn’t a professional musician, he is clearly visibly uncomfortable with the idea of letting him perform.

Which is absolutely the right reaction, considering that this is a life and death competition (for him and Miguel) and he has no idea what Miguel’s definition of musician is, apart from the fact that it apparently doesn’t include performing in public.

For all he knows, the kid’s only just into his second week of guitar lessons.

His first instinct, to go on instead (and can we all just acknowledge the sacrifice he was willing to make in going on stage under the name 'De la Cruzito’?) is actually the sensible and responsible thing to do, yet all Miguel has to do is to say that he wants to earn Ernesto’s blessing and suddenly Héctor’s fine with it. Even after learning that the kid has never even done a grito before.

In nearly a century, he has not managed to sort out this flaw in his character.

Which I find really sad, since I personally headcanon that the decision to go home should have been a huge character changing moment for Héctor.

This is the moment where he finally realises that he can’t just let Ernesto push him around anymore, because he has a family now and he has to stand up for them as well as well as himself. Like, there is an alternate universe where Ernesto doesn’t poison Héctor and this is the moment where he grows up and becomes a more responsible person and stops letting people walk all over him.

But instead, he dies and is immediately cut off from everybody he knows and thrust into an environment where he has no real responsibilities and is desperate enough to let people talk him into anything if it means he might stand a chance of getting over the bridge.

Ernesto not only killed Héctor physically, but he also killed the person Héctor could have been if he had the chance to go home.

Otto Octavius: You know, Curt, I could just make you a robot arm.

Dr. Connors (exasperated): That would be very nice for ME, but it's not a solution most could afford. I want to create something accessible to everyone. Everyone, no matter their station or disability, deserves the opportunity to be healed.

Otto: But

Otto: It would be very nice for you, right?

Have you ever noticed how much we use signal degradation as a shorthand for existential “wrongness”?

Like, in horror movies, an otherworldly voice may hiss like radio static, while a creepy monster may jerk and stutter from position to position like a video that’s dropping frames. The influence of a hostile, alien presence may be indicated by visual “tearing”, like the film is being played back from damaged media, or by deliberate audio/video desynchronisation.

Video games get in on the act, too. The use of simulated glitches to represent reality-warping effects in horror gaming is well documented, of course, but it goes beyond that. In the language of gaming, a portal to an alien realm may bleed stylised pixels and crackle like a PC speaker with the volume cranked too high, while the sound effects associated with “unnatural” magic might introduce digital distortion to an otherwise naturalistic soundscape.

I sometimes wonder what it says about our anxieties as a culture that the easiest way for media to freak us out is to confront us with manifestations of the artificiality of the medium.

Severus Snape

This is an Anti Snape rant. I was to preface it by making it clear that I appreciate Severus Snape as one of the most interesting, important and well written literary figures of our time and possibly in history. I respect anyone who says that Snape is their favorite. That’s perfectly fine. Harley Quinn is one of my favorite comic book characters. She’s bubbly and funny and intelligent and strong…that doesn’t mean I don’t recognize that she’s criminally insane and that her relationship with the joker is in fact terribly abusive from both sides. These multi-dimensional characters become our favorites BECAUSE there are so many sides to them. Harry Potter happens to be a series where nearly every primary character is several layers deep. To quote my own personal problematic favorite; “The World isn’t made up of Good People and Death Eaters.” - Sirius Black, Order of the Pheonix, Chapter 15, Percy and Padfoot.

 Snape is a bad person. I don’t care what he did to “redeem himself”. You can die to save the world, that doesn’t mean years of verbally and emotionally abusing children just didn’t count. I know plenty of people who served in the military and fought for the country but they abuse their families…does it not count because they fought a war? 

 FACT: Severus Snape was interested the dark arts from an early age.

 FACT: Severus Snape had other friends besides Lily Evans. 

FACT: Severus Snape provoked James Potter and Sirius Black, often spying on the Marauders to try and find out Remus Lupin’s secret and also hanging around with Slytherin Pure Blood Supremacists who bullied other students. He was not an innocent unpopular kid that the big, mean popular boys picked on. He wasn’t. Stop victimizing him. He was just as much at fault as they were. 

FACT: Severus Snape created his own spell by the age of 15 that was potentially lethal and used it on James Potter…reason? Well, James pantsed him….

are…you…kidding…me…?

FACT: Lily Evans ended her friendship with Severus Snape because of his affiliation with these other students and his interest in The Dark Arts. She did not end the friendship in favor of James Potter. She didn’t even start dating James for AT LEAST another year after ending her friendship with Severus. He called her a racial slur and his friends physically attacked one of her friends. 

“I never meant to call you a Mudblood. It just-” 

 “Slipped out? It’s too late! I’ve been making excuses for you for years! None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you! You and your precious little Death Eater friends. See? You don’t even deny it! You don’t deny that that is what you’re aiming to be! You can’t wait to join You-Know-Who, can you? I can’t pretend anymore. You’ve chosen your way and I’ve chosen mine.”

“No, listen, I didn’t mean-”

 “To call me a Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth a mudblood! Why should I be any different?” - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Chapter 33 The Prince’s Tale.

FACT: Severus Snape never got over his romantic feelings for Lily Evans and was angry that she married his school rival, James Potter.

“After all this time?”

 “Always.”  - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Chapter 33, The Prince’s Tale.

This is actually creepy. One of my biggest qualms with The Harry Potter Fandom as a whole is how infatuated people are with this quote. James and Lily died at age 21, a good 6 years after Lily ended her friendship with Severus and he’s still holding a torch for her? This isn’t love, it’s obsession and it’s unhealthy. He harassed her after she ended things, too. He threatened to sleep outside the Gryffindor common room until Lily agreed to speak with him (See: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Chapter 33, The Prince’s Tale). It’s not sweet that Severus was still in love with Lily after all this time. It’s scary. Severus’ patronus being a Doe is CREEPY, not a sign that they are soulmates.

FACT:  Severus Snape joined the Death Eaters BECAUSE HE WANTED TO ALL ALONG. Upon learning that Lily Evans had been targeted, he ran to Dumbledore, begging him to protect her. Only Her. 

“If she means so much to you, could you not ask The Dark Lord for mercy for the mother in exchange for the son?”

 “I’ve tried!” 

“You disgust me. You do not care then about the deaths of her husband and her son, as long as you get what you want?” 

Snape said nothing. - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Chapter 33 The Prince’s Tale

If Lily Potter hadn’t been on Voldemort’s death list, would Severus have switched sides? It didn’t have to be Lily. It could have easily been Alice Longbottom instead. Had Neville been The Chosen One, Severus Snape would have remained a Death Eater. He only became a double-agent to repay Dumbledore for protecting Lily.

After Lily dies, Dumbledore has to bribe Severus to help him keep Harry safe.

 “He has her eyes, Severus. Her exact eyes. Surely you remember the shape and color of Lily Evans’s eyes.”

 “DON’T!” Bellowed Snape. “Dead…gone…”

“You know how and why she died. Let it not be in vane. Help me protect her son.” 

 “He doesn’t need protection! The Dark Lord is gone-”

“He will return.”

 “Very well. But never tell, Dumbledore! I cannot bare it…especially Potter’s son!” - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Chapter 33, The Prince’s Tale.

Yikes, Severus. You loved this woman so much, or so you claim, but the idea of helping to protect HER CHILD, for whom she gave her life, is so unbearable to you because his father, who died trying to protect both of them, was mean to you in grade school? That’s…pretty messed up. 

FACT: 11 years later with a nice cushy job and protection at Hogwarts, Severus Snape continues to be a bitter adult man who is still not over his school yard crush, a woman who has been dead for over a decade and refused to speak to him for six years prior to that. He is in fact so bitter about it that he frequently takes it out on her prepubescent son.

Why? Because he looks a hell of a lot like James Potter.

 “-Mediocre, arrogant as his father, a determined rule breaker, delighted to find himself famous, attention seeking and impertinent -” 

 “You see what you expect to see, Severus. Other teachers report that the boy is modest, likable and reasonably talented. Personally, I find him to be an engaging child.” - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Chapter 33, The Prince’s Tale.

But Snape doesn’t only pick on Harry. He picks on many of his young students just because…well…Because he’s an asshole, really! Honestly, the man humiliated 13 year old Neville Longbottom in front of the entire class for messing up on his potions assignment and then attempted to murder the kid’s pet. (See: Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban, Chapter Seven, The Boggart in the Wardrobe.)

Not to mention this lovely scene 

Ron forced Hermione to show Snape her teeth. She was doing her best to hide them with her hands, though this was difficult as they had grown past her collar.

 Snape looked coldly at Hermione and then said, “I see no difference.” - Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, chapter 18, The Weighing Of The Wands.

I could name probably a dozen more times that Severus Snape abuses his position as a Professor and treats his students with disrespect and potentially damaging behavior, but we would be here all day and there are other points I’d like to move on to. 

FACT: Severus Snape was uninterested in the possibility of Sirius Black’s innocence and overjoyed at the idea of being the one to turn him over to the Dementors. 

“Two more for Azkaban tonight,” Said Snape, his eyes gleaming fanatically. I shall be interested to see how Dumbledore takes this. He was convinced you were harmless, you know, Lupin…a tame werewolf.” 

 “You fool.” Said Lupin softly. “Is a school boy grudge worth putting an innocent man back inside Azkaban?” - Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, chapter nineteen, The Servant of Lord Voldemort.

 Okay, look, Sirius did try to kill Snape when they were kids. That’s a thing that happened…although there are not enough details of The Willow Incident known in canon to explain exactly what happened and why Sirius would do such a thing knowing that he could have potentially gotten James and Remus killed in the process…but that’s beside the point. What really gets me is that not only did Snape want to have Sirius given the Dementor’s kiss, but Remus also.

 BANG! Thin, snakelike cords burst out from the end of Snape’s wand and twisted themselves around Lupin’s mouth, wrists and ankles, he overbalanced and fell to the ground unable to move. With a roar of rage, Black started towards Snape, but Snape pointed his wand straight between Black’s eyes. 

 “Give me a reason and I’ll do it, I swear.” 

…

“I’ll drag the werewolf. Perhaps the dementors will have a kiss for him too.”  - Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Chapter 19, The Servant of Lord Voldemort.

And it doesn’t stop there. Unable to get what he wanted and have his school rivals killed or imprisoned for absolutely no reason, Severus Butthurt Snape decides to just ruin Remus’ life instead and tells the entire school about his Lycanthropy - oh, wait, I’m sorry…did I say the entire school? I meant the world. 

“Amung these ‘eccentric decisions’ are undoubtedly the controversial staff appointments previously described in this newspaper, which have included the hiring of werewolf Remus Lupin.” - Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix, chapter 15, Hogwarts High Inquisitor. 

 …

“I know she’s a nasty piece of work though- you should hear Remus talk about her.” 

 “Does he know her?” 

“No, but she drafted a bit of anti-werewolf legislation two years ago that makes it almost impossible for him to get a job.”  - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, chapter 14, Percy and Padfoot.

Two years ago, you say? What happened two years prior to this? Remus was working at Hogwarts and Snape outed him. 

No where in canon does it say that Remus ever did anything to Severus Snape, when honestly out of all the Marauders, he had the most reason to. Snape was always spying on them to get to him, after all. There is no reason for Severus to hate Remus enough to completely destroy his life like this. Only the fact that Severus Snape is without a doubt the biggest grudge holder to have ever lived.

FACT: Severus Snape is a war hero. 

Yes. He was. He was a key player in the defeat of Lord Voldemort, though not necessarily by his own choice. He was dragged into it by Dumbledore and by his own guilt, feeling this was the only way he could truly make amends for what happened between him and Lily when they were fifteen. 

So does begrudgingly becoming a double agent in the war as payment for Dumbledore’s attempts to keep Lily Evans safe for his own selfish reasons really negate every awful thing this man did from the time he was a young child to his guilt-driven ‘heroic’ death? 

No. It doesn’t. 

Severus Snape is a bad person. 

Reed and Sue

WHAT FANDOM THINKS THEY’RE LIKE:

SUE: Reed, you are going too far! That person doesn’t deserve to be hurt! We should forgive them. 

REED: Oh, thank you for stopping me and saving me from myself and my logic. I never would have forgiven myself if I hurt them!

WHAT THEY’RE REALLY LIKE:

SUE: Honey, this bad guy tried to hurt our daughter. Hold my coat while I bash his skull in.

REED: Of course! Let me know if you need any help with that, sweetie. I support you completely.

SUE: Nah, I got it.

Ten years later:

REED: Honey, the bad guy who hurt our daughter ten years ago sounds like he’s really sorry now. Maybe we should forgive him?

SUE: Pftt. I love you, but you’re too naive. He hurt my daughter. I will not ever forgive him. He’s an asshole and I’m about two seconds away from bashing his skull in again just on principle. 

SUE: glares at former bad guy

FORMER BAD GUY: faints from sheer terror

REED: (sighs) Sometimes I think you like making them faint. 

SUE: It means they’re scared of me, and they should be scared of me, sweetie. I will hurt them.

This part of Snape's memories that he gives to Harry has been talked to death, but please indulge me while I dig it back up because meta rests for no man. Emphases in the below excerpt are mine:

The corridor dissolved, and the scene took a little longer to reform: Harry seemed to fly through shifting shapes and colours until his surroundings solidified again and he stood on a hilltop, forlorn and cold in the darkness, the wind whistling through the branches of a few leafless trees. The adult Snape was panting, turning on the spot, his wand gripped tightly in his hand, waiting for something or for someone … his fear infected Harry, too, even though he knew that he could not be harmed, and he looked over his shoulder, wondering what it was that Snape was waiting for - Then a blinding, jagged jet of white light flew through the air: Harry thought of lightning, but Snape had dropped to his knees and his wand had flown out of his hand. ‘Don’t kill me!’ ‘That was not my intention.’ Any sound of Dumbledore Apparating had been drowned by the sound of the wind in the branches. He stood before Snape with his robes whipping around him, and his face was illuminated from below in the light cast by his wand. ‘Well, Severus? What message does Lord Voldemort have for me?' 'No - no message - I’m here on my own account!’ Snape was wringing his hands: he looked a little mad, with his straggling, black hair flying around him. ‘I - I come with a warning - no, a request - please -‘ Dumbledore flicked his wand. Though leaves and branches still flew through the night air around them, silence fell on the spot where he and Snape faced each other. ‘What request could a Death Eater make of me?’ ‘The - the prophecy … the prediction … Trelawney …’ ‘Ah, yes,’ said Dumbledore. ‘How much did you relay to Lord Voldemort?’ ‘Everything - everything I heard!’ said Snape. ‘That is why - it is for that reason - he thinks it means Lily Evans!’ ‘The prophecy did not refer to a woman,’ said Dumbledore. ‘It spoke of a boy born at the end of July -‘ ‘You know what I mean! He thinks it means her son, he is going to hunt her down - kill them all -‘ ‘If she means so much to you,’ said Dumbledore, ‘surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?' 'I have - I have asked him -‘ ‘You disgust me,’ said Dumbledore, and Harry had never heard so much contempt in his voice. Snape seemed to shrink a little. ‘You do not care, then, about the deaths of her husband and child? They can die, as long as you have what you want?’ Snape said nothing, but merely looked up at Dumbledore. ‘Hide them all, then,’ he croaked. ‘Keep her - them - safe. Please.’ ‘And what will you give me in return, Severus?’ ‘In - in return?’ Snape gaped at Dumbledore, and Harry expected him to protest, but after a long moment he said, ‘Anything.'

Firstly what stands out here is that that Snape is the first one to refer to Harry and James and not just Lily, not Dumbledore. Snape says, "he is going to hunt her down - kill them all" showing that from the outset he was aware of not just Lily's fate, but her husband's and son's as well. His warning to Dumbledore takes them into consideration too, so from the outset we see that Dumbledore's assumptions are likely biased.

It's Dumbledore who assumes Snape is only thinking about Lily and doesn't care about her family. Although Snape is clearly more invested in Lily, focusing on her as Voldemort's target when he first speaks, he doesn't exhibit the selfish tunnel vision Dumbledore accuses him of. In fact, immediately after Snape says "them all" it's Dumbledore who changes the conversation to be specifically about Lily again. It's understandable that Snape is more concerned about Lily - she's the one he grew up with and was friends with, although it's likely Dumbledore doesn't know this, and may never learn the full extent of Snape's relationship to her, not even to the extent that he shares with Harry in his final memories. Snape refers to her as Lily Evans, not Potter, likely because he's so used to Evans being her name, having spent his whole childhood knowing her by it. His relationship with James was one of victim to abuser, so it's understandable that in this moment of panic and anxiety, James Potter isn't the most important thing in Snape's mind.

It's important to how the dynamics between Snape and Dumbledore play out in this scene that Snape is terrified. He's described as "panting, turning on the spot" and his fear is so palpable that even Harry feels it, though he knows he's safe and in a memory where he can't be harmed. Snape is coming into this conversation out of desperation, and trusting a man who didn't seem to care much when Snape's life was threatened by a fellow student in his fifth year at Hogwarts. To Snape, Dumbledore is the man who let Sirius' prank slide even though it could have killed him. Years after this scene on the hilltop, when Sirius escapes from Azkaban, he still asserts with viciousness that Snape deserved to die just for being too nosy about him and his friends. So to Snape, Dumbledore is the man who let that attempt on his life slide, and who invited Sirius and James - both his attackers, as far as he's concerned - to join the original Order of the Phoenix.

To Snape, Dumbledore is someone who doesn't care if he lives or dies, and who trusts and respects people who, as far as Snape is concerned, are violent and ruthless. This is compounded by the time he's spent in Voldemort's ranks, where's he's seen firsthand what people like that - violent and ruthless - are capable of. He likely sees Dumbledore as a leader who is just as volatile as Voldemort. Since we know that Voldemort doesn't believe in light and dark, good or bad, only in power and weakness, we can assume that Snape has taken on some of these ideas. His perspective may also be informed by his experiences with the bullying of the Marauders, who claimed to hate his proclivity for "dark" magic while perverting innocent spells like scourgify to enact violence (if you've ever tried to eat soap as a kid, you can imagine how vile that might be, let alone if it's blocking the airflow in your trachea). So in Snape's eyes, Dumbledore is probably not the light to Voldemort's dark, but a rival wizard fighting for power, and therefore someone he likely assumes will resort to similar brutality.

As far as Snape is concerned, Dumbledore could strike him dead just for being there. And yet he walks into this meeting, the arrangement of which is already a mortal risk, knowing he might not leave it alive. His first words to the man are, "Don't kill me." Even if he were there just to plead for Lily's life and not care about her family, his willingness to sacrifice himself to save her is already an act of bravery and frankly, I think it's a much more complicated moral dilemma whether one can choose who to give their own life for than Dumbledore's harsh condemnation makes it seem. Can we expect a man to risk his life for a friend? That's a question with a complex and multi-faceted variety of answers. Can we expect him to risk his life for an enemy, or an abuser? That's a long and complex answer with even fewer clear conclusions.

Dumbledore, meanwhile, sees himself in Snape. We see through the HP series, especially in this reveal at the end, how intertwined his relationship with Snape became. We learn that Dumbledore spends his life carrying the guilt and pain of his sister's death and his direct or indirect role in it. It's a pretty common reading of his and Snape's relationship that Dumbledore understood the depth and irrevocability of Snape's regret and guilt firsthand. Knowing all this, it's hard to read Dumbledore's judgment of Snape on the hilltop, and his immediately conclusion that Snape is only interested in protecting Lily - despite warning that Voldemort intends to "kill them all" - as being objective. I read it as Dumbledore projecting his own guilt and anxiety onto Snape in that moment. In addition, as @said-snape-softly pointed out to me very aptly, the prophecy was overheard in the Hog's Head, which is run by Dumbledore's brother Aberforth, adding onto Dumbledore's personal baggage coming out in this moment. Dumbledore's own feelings are loaded and he makes assumptions about Snape's goals and motivations out of his own anxieties about himself.

And Snape lets him. He's been under Voldemort's thumb, a murderous sociopath who throws unforgivable curses around like most people sneeze. He's desperate and terrified and isn't going to argue with Dumbledore. Dumbledore says, "Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?" and Snape replies that he has. But as we've seen already, Snape has included Harry and James and Dumbledore - as the person with all the power and leverage in this conversation - has changed the subject to focus on Lily. Snape is in no position to argue about semantics in this moment. The same way he brought up Harry and James to Dumbledore only for them to be ignored by him, he may have brought them up to Voldemort only for him to react similarly.

Given what we know about Voldemort as a character, once he has decided to go after Harry and not Neville, there's no changing his mind. Any effort made to sway him would fail and only add the asker to the pile of bodies Voldemort leaves in his wake. James and Lily are both targets, because canonically they have defied Voldemort three times and are members of the Order fighting against his cause. Snape may be able to beg for Lily's life - and we see that Voldemort assumed it was because he "desired her" - but James' is almost impossible to argue on behalf of, even if he wanted to. Snape can't claim any intimate connection even if it's a lie, because James is in the Order and enough of an enemy to Voldemort that he was targeted on the basis of Trelawney's prophecy. The fact that Snape went to Dumbledore means that he is asking for Lily's whole family to be protected, not just her. It's not just extra insurance in case Voldemort decides to kill everyone in his path to Harry, it's an effort to save Lily and the people who matter to her as well. Snape knows that Dumbledore will give them a fighting chance where Voldemort won't.

When Dumbledore accuses Snape of not caring if they live or die, Snape says nothing. He doesn't confirm or deny this accusation, and as we've seen, he's terrified and Dumbledore has already twisted his words and judged him, so it's reasonable to assume Snape is worried that if he says the wrong thing, all will be lost. Dumbledore could have just accepted Snape's warning and told him to leave. He could have accepted the warning and asked why Snape gave it. Instead, he jumped to conclusions and threw them in Snape's face, a frightened man risking his life who learned quickly in this conversation that Dumbledore hates him and is judging him, and who learned while still at school that Dumbledore doesn't value his perspective or even his very life.

And then Dumbledore asks him, "what will you give me in return?" Snape is caught off guard, because as far as he knew, he was already doing Dumbledore a favor. He's offering him free information that will enable him to protect two of his Order members when the Death Eaters already outnumber them twenty to one, as Lupin said in OOtP. Again, Snape is risking his life - if Voldemort finds out he had this conversation with Dumbledore, he's definitely dead. As far as he knows, Dumbledore could kill him, as his opening sentence in this scene shows. And yet, Dumbledore turns this around - like the tactical, manipulative military leader he is - and posits the situation as being one in which he's doing Snape a favor by heeding his warning. As if he were choosing to protect Lily and her family for Snape's sake, not his own, and not theirs. Many years later, Dumbledore will ask Snape how many people he's watched die, and Snape answers, "lately only those I could not save." But in this moment on the hilltop, that's already what Snape is doing.

Two up, two down

We talk about Potter as a timeless series, as quills and parchment will never date, but there are a few key elements which are of their time, and I sometimes suspect that eventually, their original meaning may be lost.

Snape’s house in Spinner’s End is one of these.  If you visit Surrey, a house akin to Number 4 on Privet Drive can be found on hundreds of identical estates.  Indeed, the three-bedroom house with a garage, and both front and back gardens, situated on a private housing estate in leafy surburbia is one that most British people will have strolled through at some point.

But Snape’s house in Spinner’s End is the opposite of the Dursleys’ aspirational abode, and is somewhere that few modern readers will have seen in its original form with their own eyes.  Snape’s house in Spinner’s End is a traditional two up, two down through terraced house, mired deep in a maze of identical cobbled streets, overlooked by a looming mill chimney, and seemingly – by the 90s – entirely abandoned.

The difficulty that some may have in accurately picturing this scene is because these houses, in this state, no longer exist.  A large percentage of two up, two down terraces were demolished as part of slum clearance, which should tell you all that you need to know about the state of the houses.  

Those which remained have been extensively modified – usually knocking down the privy (outside toilet), and then building a two storey extension across the bulk of the yard to create a third room downstairs, and a bathroom upstairs.  Some houses only have a single extension; it is rather common in some areas of the Midlands to have a bathroom that leads off the kitchen downstairs – because the bathroom was the missing room, and it was cheaper to build one storey than two.

Pottermore had an article earlier in the year which explained how the filmmakers originally wanted to film on location, but could not, because the houses simply did not exist in their traditional state.

The houses were typically constructed with two rooms downstairs and two rooms upstairs with a tiny backyard entry leading to the outhouse. Craig actually considered shooting on location, but even though the buildings were intact, they had been brought into the modern era, with up-to-date kitchens and plastic extensions, so the set was built at the studio.

Throughout the 20th century, cobbled streets were routinely replaced by various other road surfaces, namely tarmac and asphalt – and, of course, the scarcity of cobblestones now means that such streets are aesthetically desirable.  However, the cobblestones in Spinner’s End are not an indication of affluence, but an indication of an area left behind. This is further illustrated by the rusted railings, the broken streetlights, and the boarded up windows.

These were workers houses, often funded by the owners of the mill, and therefore tied – meaning that rent was deducted from your wage before you received it.  There were benefits to being in tied accommodation, including being close to work and having a guaranteed landlord – but that was as much benefit to the mill owner as the worker.  Seeing great competition, some mill owners invested in their properties to entice workers – but Spinner’s End is not an example of this; Spinner’s End would’ve been regarded as little better than a slum even when fully occupied.

The narrow streets are indicative of when these houses were built, presumably in the late 1800s – cars were not a concern, and the attitude was to build as many houses on as small a piece of land as possible.

By the time the 90s roll around, and we see Narcissa and Bellatrix descend upon the street, Spinner’s End appears to be mostly deserted.  With the closure of traditional manual industries, families would be keen to relocate to where work could be found.  Estates which hadn’t already been cleared by the 60s would find themselves left to rack and ruin, their former occupants long gone – whether seeking a new life elsewhere, or having died.

For once, Bellatrix is not being anti-Muggle when she sneers at the Muggle dunghill; she is unnervingly accurate. It is a slum by her standards, but most importantly, it was a slum by everyone else’s standards as well.  By the time Severus was born, work should’ve been well under way to clear the area, or to renovate it.  This evidently did not occur – which itself explains how undesirable the area is; nobody wanted to spruce it up - they wanted to leave.  There were no jobs, no amenities, no services – and eventually, no people.

We often ponder why Snape remains at Spinner’s End, but perhaps there lies the answer; he wasn’t just hiding from the magical world, but he was also hiding from the Muggle world as well…

Wait sans canonically has an accent??

He does! Now, it’s a pretty subtle thing because UTDR characters usually have very little in the way of phonetic accents (like, the knight chess piece NPC from Deltarune has a southern accent but you can mostly only tell it because they don’t say their final ‘g’s and call Kris “horsie”) but if you pay attention to his speech, you’ll be able to pinpoint some little hints Sans has a few speech habits going on. For one, he tends to shorten the word “you” to “ya” and other similar forms of it:

He also refers to the player character as variations of “buddy” and “pal” a lot.

But what gives it away as being (what I, with my limited knowledge of American accents think it is, at least!) a cartoon Brooklyn accent is his usage of “capiche” and “forgeddaboudit”, heh.

the trolley problem