Damn Girl, Go For The Jugular

excuse me but dick's siblings can not read him better than the original teen titans. his siblings might read his body language better (especially cass) but they won't recognize- can't recognize dick's expressions like donna, garth, wally and roy can.

there's no way. the fab five have known dick for an insanely long amount of time, and perhaps the only other person is barbara.

like i know you guys love your sibling relationships, but like seriously? the fab five have known each other for an insanely long amount of time there's no need to pretend that they wouldn't understand dick like he's part of their own soul. because they would. you don't go through so much with some people and not know each other like they're parts of you. because at that point, they are.

Omg He’s dead?!? No!!

Inspired by this post

In order for Danny to go ghost he has to die. Every, single, time. While it was definitely concerning at first, there r only so many times u can die and be ok before u just stop freaking out about it.

This is why when a 20 y/o Danny gets kidnapped by a cult that intends to use him as a sacrifice to a demon, he is oddly calm about the whole thing. As soon as they kill him he’ll just turn into a ghost and stop them so it’s fine.

Problem, he was expecting the summoning part of this whole shebang to happen after his death. Whatever, he’s fought demons before so as soon as they do kill him he’ll just have to kick this guy’s ass and then put a stop to the cult.

Only he’s plans r changed, get again, when some of the batkids show up before the cult can kill him. Double fuck bc it’s clear these guys r not equipped to handle a demon and with how he’s a little tied up right now he can’t really kill himself. So with very limited options he resorts to asking the heroes to kill him.

Needless to say, Nightwing is very concerned about the seemingly suicidal hostage. Red Robin is confused as fuck and decided it’s probably best to leave the guy tied up until they could drop him off at a hospital. Spoiler thinks the guy’s just joking but gets more concerned the more he insists they kill him. Hell even Robin and Orphan are thrown off by the guy’s repeated requests for death as the fight goes on.

It’s at this point that Red Hood, getting tired of the guys voice, decided to actually asks the guy why he wants to die.

Problem with this is Danny fucking sucks at explaining things and for some reason thinks “I can totally kick that demon dudes ass but like, only if I’m dead.” Is a satisfactory answer.

For most of the bats it’s not. For Hood tho? Who has a better understanding of magic than the rest of the fam and has been wanting to shut this guy up all fight?

“Seems legit.” *BANG*

a look into the mind of a person holding a horse

Stop fucking squirming. I am feeding you oats.

I'm totally in favor of the HC that Dick knows how to imitate voices.

Not just Bruce, but also the voices of other people, his brothers or other heroes, and he shows this ability in the most random moments.

To put things in order? He definitely doesn't use Bruce's voice, he's more likely to use Superman's... He once used Alfred's, but he always feels like he has his grandfather standing behind him judging him even when he's not there, so he doesn't use that voice ever again, except when talking to the butler himself when he recites advice he himself gave him.

Wally actually jumped when he was telling him a secret and Dick responded with Barry's voice to scare him.

For a while, Clark had to get used to checking whether the voice messages he received were really from Bruce or from Dick.

Dick has a perfect flight instinct after scolding Roy in Oliver's voice.

Barbara still watches him closely from the first time he imitated Commissioner Gordon's voice, when that happened Dick was still a child.

Tim definitely upgraded any device that worked with voice command since Dick sent him a voice message imitating his voice to annoy him because he activated his devices through phone.

while there are a lot of close relationships within the batfam, one of my absolute favorites is Dick and Jason. I feel like they’re one of those duos that LOOK wildly incompatible but the moment push comes to shove, they’re actually super competent and work together in all the best ways

the best part of it is how they utilize that, though. I think one of their absolute favorite things to do is, because they were the “OG” batkids, talk about things that happened before anyone else was there. are these things real? Who knows.

Cass: *looks mournfully at the bandages covering her feet* I won’t be able to attend my ballet recital after the injuries I got from patrol Jason: *sipping coffee* never stopped Dickie. I think he showed up to a gymnastics meet in a neck brace, once. It took a good ten minutes of begging before they let him compete. Bruce still doesn’t know about that. Cass: can I— Jason: no.

Damian: have you ever fought with father, Grayson? Dick: *chokes on his cereal* wh—w— *pounds his own chest and coughs* yeah?? Of course?? *looks desperately to Jason for help, not wanting to explain to Damian that he and Bruce had spent more time yelling at each other than being nice in his teen years* Jason: *sagely* yeah, there was that time ya brought home a Dalmatian th’ size of a freakin’ truck. Where did ya get that again? Abandoned on a case? Owner killed? Something like that. We had t’ give him t’ the shelter. Damian: you had a DALMATION and NEGLECTED TO INFORM ME???? Dick: *glared at Jason*

there’s no holes in their stories, to the other kids. One says something, the other immediately corroborates it. There’s no hesitation, no sign either is lying. Even Tim can’t figure it out, because Bruce was shit at keeping logs of stuff in that period of time and Dick and Jason are just that good at lying??

or maybe they’re just telling the truth???

no one can tell

Tim: *examining a corner of the batcave* what is this??? Someone—hahaha someone etched their initials into the wall!! Jason: *without missing a beat* that was the joker . . . We caught him, didn’t have a proper cell at the time so he got out there . . . He spent the weekend starving while we ate cereal in front of him . . . Good times Tim: Tim: *looks to Dicks and finds him nodding* dick: that cereal was really good. Too bad Joker escaped, we were only allowed to get that really sugary brand because of the circumstances . . . Tim: what the fuck Tim: hey B, you do know that Selina is totally in love with you, right? Bruce: *keeping stoically silent* Dick: oh, he knows. And he’s in love with her right back Jason: *gaining a shit-eating grin* yeah, he once bought her a whole Batmobile and rebranded it to be a “Catmobile” but she laughed so hard at it that it’s been sitting in storage for years ever since Tim: Bruce: dick: *nodding* true story

Birdflash I did before bed

After the Nasty Burger incident, Danny went to live with Vlad under the promise that he would change. And he did, for all of two months before Danny discovered a secret basement full of clones. All except one of them were unstable.

Thoroughly betrayed, Danny takes the one stable clone and puts the rest of them out of their misery. Then he heads to Gotham where the local billionaire has a habit of taking in black hair blued eyed orphans. Fight fire with fire right? Or in this case money with money.

If batkids had a podcast XVI

Red hood: Just us today?

Nightwing: Just us today.

Red hood (laughing) I wonder why–

Nighwing: Dude– (laughing as well)

Red hood: I–

Nightwing: Dude don't do it–

(just both of them chuckling)

Red Hood (close to the mic): They're grounded.

Nightwing: (CACKLES)

Nightwing (crying): This is not funny

Red Hood: This is hilarious.

Red Hood: Were last survivors of our kind. . .

Red Hood: Adults.

Nightwing: Adults.

Red Hood: He can't ground us anymore.

Nighwing, chuckling: He can't ground us anymore

Red Hood:

Red Hood: Fuck.

Nightwing:

Red Hood: We're b– (pause) We're both the oldest now.

Nightwing: Yeah– You, me and–

Red Hood, at the same time: Yeah– (pause) This is so surreal

Nightwing: You think?

Red Hood: Yeah. Dude – I was. . . I was the youngest.

Nightwing: Oh your sweet summer– I was a only child.

Red Hood: (Cackles)

Nightwing: It really isn't that weird to me.

Red Hood: Really?

Nightwing: Yeah– I was always the oldest man.

Nightwing: I was the oldest of my team

Red Hood: What?!

Nightwing: Yeah!

Red Hood: You're fucking with me.

Nightwing: Nah man– I was the oldest. I am the oldest, I'm not dead.

Red Hood:

Red Hood: You're older than Arsenal?

Nightwing: I'm older than everybody man.

Nightwing: People look at me and assign me to take care of children.

Red Hood (imitating Damian voice): "Father genes"

Nightwing: HA– "father genes" (pause) Why are you looking at me like that?

Red Hood:

Red Hood: You're ancient.

Nightwing: IM NOT ANCIENT.

Red Hood: You're older than the Teen Titans, fucking older than Young Justice.

Nightwing: You're older than Young Justice

Red Hood: I was dead man it doesn't count.

Nightwing: Of course it does– How old are you?

Red Hood: How old are you?

Nightwing:

Nighwing: I– I am an adult.

Red Hood: Uh-huh.

Nightwing: In a reasonable age.

Red Hood: You're in your thirties aren't you?

Nightwing: NO

Nightwing:

Red Hood: You look like you're in your thirties– The bag under your eyes

Nightwing: Because I'm tired????

Red Hood: The hunched posture.

Nightwing: Hey I do not have hunched posture– Fuck you.

Nightwing: You try to take care of an entire team of teenagers just to end up taking care of more two and a grown ass depressed middle aged man.

Red Hood: That was Red–

Nightwing: That was Red. (pause) I would have fucking killed him.

Red Hood: Oh Definitely.

Nightwing: Point still stand man I'm tired.

Red Hood: Both of us.

Nightwing: Both of us– (chuckles) Robins if you're hearing this I love both of you and I would do it all over again. Titans– (closer to the mic) You know what you did.

Red Hood: (Cackles)

Red Hood (closer to his mic): You know your sins.

Nightwing (laughing): Flash owe me 30 dollars.

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i probably wont ever write jaysteph because i dont think they ever date i do think they hook up just once though because he's perfectly stephs type (enormous ego) (closeted as something). i think it's great sex even but i dont think they do it again. My issue as a writer is that i dont actually want to write the sex i just want to write pillow talk. and not sappy pillow talk either. one time i sucked my boyfriend silly and then we had 1.5hrs of Gender Discussion and Slur Discourse. who cares how much they love each other or how good who is at munching whoevers carpet I want to hear about how one time you thought your ex was cheating on you and you went up to him and his date in a huff and it was his mom