Few Things More Humbling Than The Realization That You Really Do Write The Same Fic(s) Over And Over

sometimes a theme recurs in your work without your permission. and sometimes it reaches a threshold where you're like. well now i think this is saying something about me against my will. don't know what though

assuming that people like you and want to spend time with you is crucial to making friends. unfortunately this is the hardest thing to do in the world

If this doesn’t show how broken American higher education is, nothing will.

I feel this so hard and it breaks my heart

hi!

I wrote a fic for @hpfemininomenonfest and it's been released!

Our Black Blood

The fic focuses on the Black sisters and answers why Bella attacked Frank and Alice Longbottom.

What if Bella attacked Frank and Alice, not because she wanted to bring Voldemort back, but because Narcissa finally felt safe enough to love Alice again?

“You will have always been a sister, even if you leave, even if you hate them, even if you don’t.”

🖤🖤🖤

Huge thanks to @middleagedenragedmama for doing a first fic with me - I can't believe we did it! (read her fic!)

and to @badhairred for supporting us both along the way 🖤 (and their fic too!)

Actually check out the whole collection because there are some amazing works there!

and thanks to all the mods for making it happen! @messrsrarchives @badhairred @radla @middleagedenragedmama @heartsoncover @lemonlans @starprongs

Sharing my writing with other people is always going to feel vulnerable, no matter how many times I do it or how others respond. I doubt I'm the only one that gets nervous when posting online, so thought I'd share this:

Things that help when sharing my fics

1. Make sure I have a project or something to work on straight after posting

gives me something to think about other than how my fic is doing

stops me sitting there constantly refreshing ao3

ideally something not related to ff (so no WIPs)

2. Try to not look at tumblr/my ao3 until at least the next morning

gives me (hopefully) something to look forward to in the morning

keeps me from constantly checking if I know I'm going to check it all at once

my ao3 comment emails are disabled for this reason

having any other fics that I want to read open in their own tab also helps so I don't have to click on my user

3. Post about an hour before I'm planning to sleep

posting close to bedtime makes #2 easier, but

I also need to factor in time to calm down after the initial nerves

4. Read some other recently posted fics

partly I do this regardless of whether or not I've posted recently

but also it's nice reading other people's work knowing they're probably out there at that exact moment experiencing something similar

I've found some of my absolute fav ff writers this way

careful that if you do this you're not comparing

5. Be extra kind to myself

chances are my anxiety is going to be running high

this means I tend to be extra critical of myself for about a day after posting something

it helps to remind myself that there's a reason my inner critic is in hyperdrive

but that also means no reading, writing, or editing my own work

6. If nothing else, remember I had fun

remind myself that once the anxiety has passed I'll have a new chapter/fic from my favourite ff writer (me) to look forward to

and if even one other person reads it and enjoys it, I've made a new friend :)

Of course this is a checklist for the ideal scenario. There are other factors and days when my anxiety is already running high for other reasons. This isn't a set of commandments or a rulebook, it's a guide to help myself.

If it's not helping in the moment, I do something different.

the thing is that childhood doesn't just end when you turn 18 or when you turn 21. it's going to end dozens of times over. your childhood pet will die. actors you loved in movies you watched as a kid will die. your grandparents will die, and then your parents will die. it's going to end dozens and dozens of times and all you can do is let it. all you can do is stand in the middle of the grocery store and stare at freezers full of microwave pizza because you've suddenly been seized by the memory of what it felt like to have a pizza party on the last day of school before summer break. which is another ending in and of itself

having a freeze response to stress is so funny in the context of normal adult stressors. millions of years of evolution are trying to tell me that the email will not find me if i stay very still and do nothing

budgets

Next Post Some basics I use to save cash at my house.

by eurynomeliri 

I'm always coming across people saying one of two things about wolfstar 1) It makes no sense and 2) it would be toxic as hell if it ever happened...

All of which makes me wonder what on earth set of books they were reading because from Remus's voice shaking with some suppressed emotion when he sees Sirius for the first time in twelve years, to his voice sounding like every word was causing him pain after Sirius's death we see them be nothing but gentle, respectful and affectionate with each other.

Anyway - I'm currently re-reading Bite and Prejudice which is my wolfstar Jane Austen AU and I just came across this paragraph which, although it is written in flouncy regency language (and was paraphrased from another which was originally about Lizzie and Darcy), sums up exactly why Remus and Sirius work so perfectly together in canon:

He thought too how their dispositions and tempers - though markedly different from the other - would suit each other perfectly and bring out only  the best. How Remus’s tendency to self deprecation, his dry wit and steady temper would deflate the worst of Black’s pride, stick a pin in his self importance and keep his readily admitted propensity to take offence and never give up a grudge in check. Likewise, Black’s ardent nature, his loyalty and tenderness, his capacity for love and his great passion for life would pull Remus out of his own melancholy, make a mockery of his self pity, and make him laugh when he was inclined to be maudlin. Together, Remus thought, they made one very good sort of man. Apart they must always be prey to their own weakness and follies. 

Which just goes to show, whatever universe you put them in, wolfstar will always make sense.