beautifully said
The moment when he loses the Gnosis was the moment he loses himself once again.
His weapon, his tool, his...toy.
He didnt want to rule a nation or to destroy another one just because; he wanted to be recognize as someone of value & worth of affection.
The moment he releases that he lost the battle and is going to get the gnosis taken back, is the moment when he starts to have a crisis.
His theatrics and his play of being a god ends; and he begins to plead, asking to please return his "toy" back to him.
He curses, filled with hatred & rage towards the ones that took his toy away, - even if it is for his own good and the sake of others - yet, he doesn't understands this.
"Anything but the gnosis...!"
As a kid, he treasures his toys with great care, and as a kid, he loses he's own control when there are no more toys to play anymore.
He screams & cries, then the wires connecting him to the mecha break aggressively.
He even breaks and hangs from the machine where he is, humiliating himself in desperation to recover what he believes belongs to him.
"I'll never... I'll never go back!"
When his toy was taken away, he lets us know that he doesn't want to go back to his life as The Balladeer.
Where his only purpose was to be subject of experiments and to be used for someone else's plans.
Then he stumbles in his recklessness...
Just to fall deep in his misery & feeling of emptiness.
Now, he's shut down and doesn't respond to any stimulus.
It looks like he enters in a process of grief or depression, which is totally understandable.
He lost a precious thing, something he considered that made him worth of affection & respect, something he has been searching all his life.
He is again… lost in a deep slumber.
But he's not they boy he used to be hundred of years ago.
He's not Kunikzushi anymore, nor he is Kabukimo or The Balladeer, or even Scaramouche.
He doesn't even have a name.
But that's no sign of defeat or emptiness, it is a sign of a new beginning, a sign of choice.
The story of the puppet soldier & the ballerina doll really help to understand him better.
The search to be smth else than a simple & still soldier, to become a beautiful ballerina.
Being threw to the fire and turning into ashes.
But discovering at the end that there's still a hearth within the soldier.
Fortunately, for his own sake…or the good of others, he has people that will help him find a new meaning in his new life.
Not as the puppet of an archon, nor as a Fatui Harbinger, & not even as an omnipresent god.
But as a simple, yet persevering Wanderer.
:3
:3
scaramouche ft childe showing the correct way to speak to short people
Okay please tell me the GenTan fan base hasn’t forgotten about this bc I look at this everyday and start twitching bc it’s so adorable
bro you have to keep going. You care too much. Your kindness too overwhelming. Your cheerfulness is too upbeat. they need you
Gay ppl r so funny i wish they were real
ressource thread !!
((I'm going to hell for doing this meme))
"WHY?? WHY WON'T YOU WATCH DEMON SLAYER ANIME? IT'S GOOD!"
"BECAUSE WATCHING DEMON SLAYER KILL MY GRANDMA OK??"
"Now leave me alone..."
"My grandpa broke he's neck when bopping with Guren, once."
"How does watching demon slayer kill your grandma?"
"I was the one watching Demon Slayer."
*Branch happily sing Guren inccorectly while scrolling Instagram*
"Branch! Look out!"
*Branch's grandma get spoiled by manga reader*
"GRANMAAAAAA!!!!!"
*Branch get spoiled. Now he knows who die, who survived, who facing/fight who, and what happen to character post-canon, including their descendants. Branch no longer find joy to continue demon slayer anime*
this might not be canon, but personally i need furina to struggle a whole lot longer and harder with post-prophecy depression and mental illness. She's played the same tiring and painful act for five centuries, was constantly in a life or death scenario and had to hide her true self from the world the entire time and she won't just recover in a few years from that.
There's parts of her that will never ever be compatible with a simple human lifestyle, and parts of her that are irreparably broken. She isn't sure of her personality after everything that happened and the lie she had to live. She slips between personas and her archon temperament comes through like a defensive mechanism at any sign of conflict or trouble.
She's plagued by nightmares. Of the flood, of the trial, of the people closest to her conspiring against her behind her back, and of being found out in a million terrible ways. Of saying the wrong thing, making a wrong decision. Of being found out, of being found out, of being found out.
Lying or keeping a secret feels existential still. Being honest still feels life threatening sometimes. Putting herself first feels like putting both hands on a hot stove.
She doesn't live in the palais anymore, doesn't have to sit through trials anymore, but her heart and soul are still there. In her dreams she's still at the place she spent her entire life's memories at.
Yes, she can make new memories, but it'll take time. More time than she has, maybe, now that she's the closest to being human she'll ever be.
She'll never be human in the way the people around her are.
What sort of human has 500 years worth of memories after all? What human tells personal anecdotes and mixes up their centuries?
What sort of human can feel the absence of their divinity like it's a physical thing? A voice that will never speak to her again, or keep her alive? What human has no family, no childhood?
What human remembers so little, but still remembers death somewhere deep within?
She jerks out of sleep from it sometimes, gasping for air, and spends the rest of the night awake, almost frozen by fear. The flood is over, but it's hard to convince her racing heart that the danger is too.
Humans have entire family trees that go generations back, but Furina was put into this world a solitary creature, her blood heavy with sin ever since she turned human.
She owns a hydro vision now and doesn't know how to yield it, but the ocean still calls out to her some days. Sea creatures flock to her like they can smell she's not human enough.
She learns how to make little hydro companions for herself, so the darkness and emptiness of her apartment feels less ominous when she lies awake at night.
She can't turn her vision into a weapon quite yet, but when it rains the droplets seem to cling to her. She's watched them roll upwards along her arm, watched them gather in her palm like kin. She wonders if sea creatures flock to neuvillette in a similar way, or if his immense power makes them recoil. She wonders if elemental dragons can feel regret. Wonders if he, too, ever feels entirely foreign in that human body he was given. If he, too, lies awake trying to grasp faint memories of a past life.
She's extremely human in the way she's plagued by body pains from not being able to relax just one day in five centuries. The years catch up with her once she gets out of survival mode, and fatigue is a constant companion now. Sleep comes difficultly and getting out of bed was easier when the fate of a whole nation depended on it. On her. She's never lived for just herself before and some days she's not sure she wants to.
She did her duty and earned her retirement and the story turned out well, all things considered. She still has people by her side, some of them.
Still, she feels raw and tired and overwhelmed by the life lying ahead of her. As a human and as someone who will always be Something Else.
merry yaoimas 👍
yeah im not finishing this