♡ GENSHIN IMPACT TWITTER NSFW VISUALS ♡

when your boyfriend’s auntie won’t approve of your relationship

When you forget that your best friend wields a claymore

They kiss on the ring. I carry the crown. (Chapter 1)

When your job requires you to meet Yakuza boss Sukuna, you hope that the house viewing will be over quickly and you will never see him again. But no one prepared you for how enticing the King of Tokyo's underworld is. And suddenly, you are in way over your head.

Pairing: Sukuna x Reader (female) Genre: Mafia AU, smut, a bit fluffy too though because I love fluff Playlist: Mafia AU Word Count: 4k Warnings: 18+, smut, some dark crime-related themes (Yakuza, implied violence, implied murder in later chapters, gambling, alcohol), use of the name Daddy in later chapters, oral, fingering, creampie, cum eating, light spanking, exhibitionism in later chapters (that part could be initially seen as dubcon, but he gets consent from her). All characters are of age. This story is 18+. Minors don't interact.

I wrote this story for my friend's The Killers lyrics collab. Thank you so much for this amazing collab @adelheidvonschicksal . My lyrics prompt is: They kiss on the ring. I carry the crown. Nothing can break, nothing can break me down. The Killers - The man.

Sometimes you think it would have been better if you had never met him. You blame your job on it. It was something you had wanted to achieve for years. Being high enough in the ranks that you were the one getting sent to meet the high-end customers and show them around in the most luxurious living spaces Tokyo had to offer.

He was your second high-end customer. You read the name and your eyes widened. Your boss laughed.

"Pretty impressive, huh? Don't fuck it up. We want him as a regular customer. Heard he isn't so happy with his current real-estate agent, so this is our big chance."

You met him a week later in a penthouse that was exactly as he had wanted. And he was as impressive as you had expected. The intensity with which he looked at you with those glinting maroon-colored eyes took your breath away. He was tall, handsome, exuding authority and wealth.

And danger. He was a dangerous man, only in his late twenties but already the head of one of the most influential Yakuza clans.

Itadori Sukuna. Also known as Ryomen Sukuna. That was the alias he was famous for. The man with the two faces. Rich, popular playboy, and businessman on the one hand. Ruthless killer and sadist, on the other.

You addressed him by his real name first. But he just laughed and shook his head.

"No need to be so formal. Call me Sukuna. I think we'll see each other regularly now. I got a big payment that needs to be invested into real estate, and one apartment won't do."

He was charming. Polite and smart, ready to make a joking comment all the time, grinning in a handsome boyish way, moving so gracefully and looking effortlessly sexy. He had a way of making everyone fascinated with him. You had been scared when he first walked towards you in his custom-tailored black suit and the slicked-back pink hair, black tattoos visible on his wrists and neck, and of course on his face. Only someone as powerful as him could have the nerve to walk around with Yakuza tattoos so provocatively visible at all times. He looked intimidating. But his charm worked in his favor, and the more time you spent showing him around, the more comfortable you felt. You didn't realize the web he was weaving until it was too late, and you were caught in it. He had been subtly luring you in, seducing you, the whole afternoon.

And then you bumped into his muscular body when you were trying to take a step back from the wine fridge you had been presenting to him, and suddenly his large hands were on your hips, steadying you.

"Easy there, you should be careful, don't want you to fall, do we?"

His deep voice was warm like honey, so seductive, just like the feeling of his warm breath on your neck.

He knew it just as much as you did. You were already falling. He had laid out a trap, and you had stepped into it.

Thinking back to that day, you can't say what it was exactly that made you give yourself to him. Was it his natural dominance and power? His good looks and the confidence? Or the danger lurking beneath his charming attitude? Maybe it was a combination of all of this that led to a temptation you couldn't resist.

What you know for certain is that you didn't pull away when his lips brushed over your neck.

Instead, you let out a shuddering sigh and leaned back against his solid body, craning your neck, offering more of your sensitive skin to him.

And he laughed that rude laugh before his hand pulled the collar of your blouse to the side, exposing more of your skin. His soft tongue licked a wet stripe all the way from your left shoulder up to your neck until his lips closed around your skin right under your jaw, where your pulse was fluttering nervously, and sucked on it.

You melted under his warm lips and tongue, his big hands on your hips, trailing up your sides before they unbuttoned your blouse, cupping your tits through your bra, making you gasp when his thumbs slipped inside and teased your nipples.

You were lost when you felt his firm, strong body press against you, lean, solid muscles, and a deliciously big hard bulge rubbing against your ass.

You knew he could do anything he wanted to you. He was so strong, so tall. He was so powerful. He could literally make sure you'd never get found again, and there was nothing anyone could ever do about it.

Because he was Sukuna. He was above the law. He was the King of Tokyo's underworld.

Maybe there was something wrong with you. Because it wasn't fear that you felt when this dangerous man undressed you. When he ran his warm, calloused hands over your body, twirling your nipples between his fingers. When he was caressing tight circles around your embarrassingly wet clit. When he slapped your ass before pulling down your panties. When he got on his knees behind you to fuck you with his tongue until you sobbed.

All you felt was desire. A craving so intense that you thought you'd die if you didn't get more of him.

You didn't tell him it wasn't appropriate for a customer to yank off your panties, lift you up, and slam you against the fridge. You didn't ask him to let you go when he rubbed his wonderful thick cockhead over your wet clit, laughing at the needy sounds you made.

He almost caressed you to orgasm with his cockhead, and you didn't tell him to stop. Instead, all you said to him was:

"Please... oh please..."

"What, please? Huh, princess, what is it that you need? Tell me. Say it."

"You!"

He chuckled, sounding amused and almost cruel,

"Me? You're a cute one. Do you really think you can have Sukuna?"

His fingers tangled in your hair, pulling your head back, making you look up at him, at the smug smirk on his handsome face, the challenging glint in his eyes.

He leaned closer, lips brushing over yours before he licked your cheek, groaning softly when his tongue swiped up a tear that was running down your face.

His voice was low, a growl, so seductive that it made your body tremble in his strong arms.

"Let's make a deal. You can have my cock today. We'll see about the rest."

You didn't complain when he pushed his thick cock into your tight heat. Your legs tightened around his hips desperately, pussy sucking him in needily, making obscene squelching noises when he fucked into you. You had never been so wet for anyone.

He fucked you with rough deep thrusts, snapping his hips almost brutally, knocking the air out of you anytime his strong body pushed you hard against the fridge behind you.

But you didn't ask him to be more gentle. You didn't tell him to be careful so the expensive fridge wouldn't get any scratches. Instead, you twisted your fingers in his soft pink hair and moaned in sweet abandon, riding his gorgeous cock eagerly, meeting each of his hard thrusts with a needy roll of your hips.

"Yeah, baby. You like that, don't you? Getting fucked against the fridge like that. I knew you had it in you from the first moment I laid my eyes on you. Not as innocent as you look. Pussy so hungry for some bad boy dick."

You moaned at his words, hips jerking hard. And he laughed. Slapped your ass and laughed and rammed his cock into your soaking wet pussy, fucking you with hard deep strokes.

"That turns you on, huh? So fucking cute. And you're good at it too. Taking me so well. Can you take my bad boy cum too? Gonna fuck you so full of it. I'll give you my lawyer's card in case ya want to claim child support later on."

"Ah! It..it's ok...I'm on birth control... ah...!"

"Nice, but I wouldn't have cared either way. A cute pussy like yours needs to be filled up no matter what."

You should probably have been appalled by this, but you weren't. If anything, it made you even wetter.

You cried his name when you clenched desperately on his cock, your juices making a mess all over his cock as he fucked you through your orgasm and kept on ramming into you until he groaned into your neck and fucked spurt after spurt of his hot cum into you.

Afterwards, he helped you get dressed again. He was a gentleman, well mannered when he wanted to, polite.

And yet he picked up your panties from the kitchen floor and smiled at the creamy mess on them, pressed them against his face, and inhaled your scent deeply, swiping his tongue over them to scoop up your wetness. It was obscene. It was humiliating. Your face felt so hot, but Sukuna just laughed when his gaze met yours.

"No need to be ashamed. You were just really horny for me, princess. It's ok, I understand that. And I took good care of your needy little pussy for you, didn't I?"

He got on his knees in front of you, lifted your leg, and helped you into the panties, pulling them up slowly, his mouth following the way of his hands up your thighs, leaving soft kisses and little bites all over your skin. Until he reached your core and pressed a firm kiss on your now panty-clad clit.

He straightened up a moment later, tucking himself back into his pants and running a hand through his hair to smooth it down again, looking so unaffected as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. As if he hadn't fucked your brains out just a few minutes ago.

He turned to look at you with that cheeky smirk again.

"I'll take the apartment. I quite like the kitchen. The fridge is nice. Do you have the papers with you?"

You managed a weak smile and fumbled with your bag, fishing out the sale contract and placing it on the kitchen counter.

Sukuna didn't even bother reading it. He just held out a hand to you, demanding a pen.

"It would be my pleasure to do more business with your company in the future. Only if they send you as my personal real-estate agent, though. Arrange that for me, will you please, darling?"

His smirk was so insolent, and his maroon eyes bored into yours with a devilish glint in them, daring you to defy him, which of course, you didn't. Instead, you mustered up a smile and nodded, handing him the pen with a shaky hand, and watched as he signed his name under the contract.

He handed you the pen back, thumb caressing over your hand, sending shivers down your spine.

You returned to your office feeling like a whore as you placed the signed contract on your boss' desk, sure that everyone could see what you had been up to. Your panties were soaking wet, messed up from a mixture of your own creamy arousal and Sukuna's cum.

But no one said anything. Your boss was ecstatic, congratulating you and making you have a drink with him to celebrate this lucrative deal.

And that's how you met one of the most powerful mafia bosses of the world and became his little plaything.

He called you at work the next day. Your heart leaped to your throat when you heard his low sexy voice drawl your name making it sound like something lewd.

You looked around nervously, glad that you didn't have to share your office with anyone else, but still feeling as if the walls had eyes and were judging you for the throbbing between your thighs and the heat spreading through your belly upon hearing the Yakuza King's voice.

Sukuna talked business, asking for detailed information about the cleaning services available for the new penthouse you sold to him yesterday. It was something you could have easily told his personal assistant.

And yet Sukuna's voice was in your ear, caressing you through the phone, making you close your eyes and take a deep breath as you tried to fight the craving the soft, deep timbre of his velvety voice stirred in you.

"The standard cleaning contract includes anything you can find under number 4. It's rather basic, though. Sufficient if you want to let the apartment stay unoccupied. But if you decide to move in, I would suggest booking the comfort or deluxe options."

"How long did my cum leak out of you, princess? Did you shower right when you came home? Or did you want to keep it in you a bit longer? Did you maybe even finger yourself and fuck it back into you?"

You sat there, pressing your legs together desperately under your desk as he whispered those dirty things into the phone. You didn't know how to respond. But Sukuna wasn't waiting for an answer anyways. Before you could say anything, he already added:

"I want to see you again."

You couldn't help but moan softly at his words. It was pathetic how much you craved him. How much it affected you to hear that he wanted to get more of you.

Your voice sounded hoarse when you answered:

"I just got a new object in Shibuya in. Maybe you are interested in that? I could show you around..."

Your heart was beating so fast that you were scared you'd faint right there at your desk. The effect Sukuna had on you was embarrassing. And the worst thing was that he seemed to be so in control, so unaffected, when he laughed softly into the phone. His low voice was making your pussy throb when he said:

"It would be a pleasure. Tell me, Miss, what is the most impressive thing about that object?"

"The description says it has a beautiful, spacious sauna room."

"Sounds like a good place for you to ride my dick. I'm free at 5. Send me the location, sweetheart."

This little game continued for several weeks. Sukuna called you every other day. Never one of his assistants, always Sukuna personally. Asked you about possible new objects he could invest his money in. Made you read the descriptions to him. It always started as a regular business call. But after a while, he would say other things, taking the call in another direction.

"I want to bend you over my desk and watch you take my cock like a good little pet while you drool all over my bookkeeping files."

He always managed to make you cream your panties, being so out of it that you couldn't function properly.

And always his soft:

"I want to see you."

You agreed to meet him every time. You showed him new objects all the time. Only for Sukuna to fuck you in all of them. In luxurious beds with a view over Tokyo's skyline. On shiny kitchen counters and expensive designer couches. On beautiful marble floors because Sukuna couldn't wait and just ripped your panties down and took you right there on the floor.

It was your secret.

It felt forbidden. Meeting the Yakuza boss to let him kiss you and put his body on you. Giving in to the craving you felt anytime you thought about him.

Sukuna definitely wasn't the type of guy you should hook up with regularly. But he was the only one you wanted.

You chatted with some guys on the dating app you had installed, even met one of them for coffee. But they were nothing compared to the King of Tokyo's underworld. How could they? They were mere boys, while Sukuna was a powerful man.

He was exciting. He was sexy. He made you feel alive.

Meeting him always felt dangerous. It made your blood rush, made your nerve ends tingle with anticipation, breath coming out in excited little gasps. One look in his eyes, and you were lost. His lips made you drunk. His touch sent your head spinning. His cock made you feel like you were in heaven.

He became your drug. And you couldn't stop consuming him, always seeking that rush again, that feeling only he could give you.

It was after several weeks of clandestine meetings that things took a turn in an unexpected direction.

You were on the phone with Sukuna once again, and the conversation once again reached the point where he said:

"I want to see you."

You already showed him a floor in a spacious office building this week, and you hadn't been able to sit comfortably for two days after he dicked you down on one of the desks, bending you over it and fucking you so rough that all the files on top of it had tumbled down.

You had run out of objects to show him, especially since it was the end of the week. There was only one thing left.

"I could show you the weekend getaway you are interested in if you like."

You could hear the satisfied smirk in his voice as he purred into the phone:

"That would be splendid. But I want to get the whole experience before I invest my money in that. It costs a little fortune, after all. My driver will pick you up Friday at 8. Make sure we have the lodge all weekend."

He hung up on you before you could reply. Your heart was beating up to your throat. A whole weekend with Sukuna?

It was the worst idea ever.

It was the most tempting offer ever.

It was something you craved to a scary extent.

You decided to let fate decide. Surely your boss would turn the inquiry down and tell you it wasn't possible to let a potential buyer stay in an object for a whole weekend.

It turned out that the current proprietor was fine with it. He just wanted to sell the house for a reasonable price. And your boss was very adamant that you should sacrifice your weekend for this because, after all, Sukuna was your best customer! Anything to make him happy!

And so you spent the weekend getting fucked so full of Sukuna's bad boy cum that you were sure you would leak his seed for days afterwards.

He had you in his limousine on the drive to the lodge. Bounced you up and down on his thick cock while his face was buried between your tits and his tongue lapped hungrily at your nipples.

Once you reached your destination, he fucked you in the wonderfully soft bed next to the large window with a beautiful view of the beach. Made you sob his name and beg him for his dick while you were tangled in silk sheets and had the taste of expensive wine and chocolate on your tongue.

Later on he poured some of that chocolate over your naked body and licked it all up with his soft tongue, kissed and slurped it out of your jerking pussy until your cream joined the chocolate on his tongue, and he laughed against your sensitive bud.

He let you ride him in the jacuzzi on the porch while sipping champagne out of the most delicate crystal glasses. Told you how beautiful you looked when you fucked him here under the stars. He moaned your name into the night while his strong fingers tightened on your ass, and he pressed you down onto his cock fucking you full of his seed once again.

He was the best lover you ever had. He was rough at times but also could make slow sweet love to you. You got everything you ever dreamed of from him. He was unashamed and exuded confidence at all times. He knew how to drive you crazy, knew how to make you cum harder than you ever had before.

But he didn't just fuck you on that weekend. What the two of you had wasn't just sex anymore. It was more. And that was actually nice.

Sukuna was a charming man, even sweet when he wanted to. He could make you laugh, and when he smiled, he looked so pretty that it made your stomach do somersaults.

Here in the lodge at the beach, he wasn't the Yakuza boss. He was just a man enjoying his time away from work. He had replaced his usual suits with a plain black shirt and some dark red chinos or grey cashmere sweatpants, which hung so low on his hips that it was hard to focus on anything else but his v-line.

He took you on a night walk down at the beach, holding your hand the whole time and pulling you into his strong arms when you were getting cold. He lay with you in the sand to point up at the starry sky above you and explain the constellations and the myths behind them.

He didn't have sex with you during that walk. Just talked to you, and kissed you slowly, made you drunk on his lips and his sweet tongue. He made you feel special with the way he looked at you, as if you were more fascinating than all the stars above.

He made love to you later on when you were back in the weekend house, moving slowly on top of you, kissing you, and whispering sweet praise to you.

"God, you cum so prettily on my cock every single time."

It was on the second day that he came up to you while you were gazing out the window that overlooked the beach. He wrapped his strong arms around you, resting his chin on your shoulder, and pressed a kiss to the side of your neck.

"I like being with you."

"Do you tell that to everyone you take on a weekend trip?"

He snorted in amusement and made you turn around. A strong hand cupped your chin and tilted your face up. His maroon eyes were burning with an unnamed emotion as he told you:

"I don't take anyone else on weekend trips. You're the only one. And I would like to keep it that way."

"You just met me a few weeks ago, Sukuna."

"So what? I know what I want. Or do you want to question my ability to make decisions?"

But his tone was amused, almost affectionate. And his thumb caressed your bottom lip tenderly. He smiled when you flicked the tip of your tongue over his fingertip before taking his thumb into your mouth and sucking on it.

He fucked you against the window, pressing your ass against the cold glass and looking so gorgeous in the soft colors of the sun setting over the ocean, his eyes closing in pleasure when he shot his cum into your spasming pussy.

You knew you had a big problem.

You were too lost in everything he did since that very first day you met. Too lost in him. He had yanked you into this new exciting world of sex and money and danger. And you didn't want to leave again.

You felt regret when Sunday evening arrived and with it the black S-class to take the two of you back to the city. The weekend with Sukuna had been lovely.

You were sitting in the back of the limousine, sipping champagne, and next to you, Sukuna was catching up on his business e-mails while he had one large hand placed firmly on top of your thigh.

And you caught yourself thinking that it felt like the two of you were a couple. You liked it. You liked the thought of being the woman by his side.

He kissed you so sweetly good night before you slipped out of his car. The last seductive flick of his tongue made your legs shake even when you already stood on the pavement and watched the impressive vehicle with the black tinted windows drive down the street and finally vanish in the heavy Tokyo traffic.

Your bed felt too empty that night. You shivered without Sukuna's body heat to keep you warm. And in your dreams, all you saw was the beach and the glittering stars and Sukuna smiling at you.

Looking back, you know that the weekend trip was what made you fall for him. It wasn't just physical attraction anymore after that little getaway. Your heart yearned for him too.

Thank you so much for reading! When I read the lyrics, I immediately imagined a Mafia AU, and of course, it had to be about Sukuna! Tbh I was unsure first how the writing would go because it was something I had never written before. But it was so much fun, and Sukuna just took over the story like the King that he is lmaoo. I fell more and more in love with Yakuza boss Sukuna with every new paragraph I wrote. He's really charming, I guess! I hope you are a bit in love with him too and that you enjoyed this story! There will be two more chapters. Please let me know what you think! I would be very happy about comments and reblogs!

Here is chapter 2

✧Snapchats Choi San Would Send You✧

୨୧ 𝘒𝘪𝘮 𝘏𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘫𝘰𝘰𝘯𝘨 + 𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘚𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘩𝘸𝘢 + 𝘑𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘠𝘶𝘯𝘩𝘰 + 𝘒𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘠𝘦𝘰𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘨 + 𝘊𝘩𝘰𝘪 𝘚𝘢𝘯 + 𝘚𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘔𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘪 + 𝘑𝘶𝘯𝘨 𝘞𝘰𝘰𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘨 + 𝘊𝘩𝘰𝘪 𝘑𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘩𝘰 ୨୧

୨୧ These posts/ this series was inspired by @hum4n-e4ter!! Please go make sure to check out their posts as well 🤍 ୨୧

୨୧ Taglist : @baby-stay92 ୨୧

itadori yuji // fic recommendations

note: remember to read the tags! + i do not own any of these works

ikanaide

don't you leave me with maybe

peak romance

dinner's served

it's like that

good boy

helping friends

we can make it if we tried (just the two of us)

let love wash over you

a stranger's compassion

hell's kitchen

plans

drinking games

never have i ever

solaris

anything

through the screen

man repellent yuuji

strawberry kiss

through orange light

heaven surrounds you

music is peace

smooth water

my beautiful boy.

cherry

let the light in

movies

from burnt offerings to bliss

laws of attraction

cupid

summer smokes

a picture is worth a thousand words

heat of the moment

liquid courage

dating kento nanami ✨🍯🧸

Writing Resources: Smut

Writing Resources Masterlist

Fictional Kisses

How to write a kiss

How to write a kiss scene

How to Write Better Smut

How to write romance

List of vocal sounds for smut

More smut words

Quick tips for writing sexual tension

Sexual sentences

Words and phrases to include in sex scenes

Writing sexual tension

I'm gonna start a trend hehe >:3

So :

How would your Fae Sun and Moon react to being called baby (as in affectionate petname sense)? Like when we pet them or we just nuzzle into their necks gently??? Sth sth soft touches and petnames have been plaguing me lately, thank you 😃💥

OKAY SEE YOU JESTIE HEHEHE

🫣💞✨💥‼️

Calling the faeries, the generous pet name givers themselves, a pet name?

Oh, Starrie,

They’d crumble

They can dish it out but they can’t take it

Recommendation - Jujutsu Kaisen/Haikyuu/Boku no Hero Academia/One Punch Man/Attack on Titan/Tokyo Revengers

Navigation

-----

🔮 Jujutsu Kaisen

Singledad! Sukuna x Neighbour! Reader

Sukuna - affaire de cœur

Sukuna - How Sukuna Loves

Sukuna - Having Soft Spot on Concubine Reader (NSFW)

Sukuna - Sukuna & His Love Languages

Sukuna - What If He Lost Someone

Yuta - Cursed Spirit (NSFW)

Gojo - Won't You Say It Back?

Gojo - Wanna Be Yours

Geto - Wings

Geto - We're In Trouble Now

Geto - Sorcery Schemes

Megumi, Itadori, Sukuna, Geto - When They Accidentally Yell at You

-----

🏐 Haikyuu

Ushijima - Story Time

Kageyama - Communication (Omegaverse)

Alpha! Kuroo - Come See Me

Alpha! Kuroo - Please Don't Let Me Go

Oikawa, Iwaizumi - Let Me Help You (Omegaverse) / Oikawa, Matsukawa, Hanamaki

Bokuto, Ushijima - Back Me Up (Omegaverse)

Sugawara, Ushijima - Time Bomb

-----

💥 Boku No Hero Academia

Bakugou - One Word to Describe Bakugou

Yandere Barbarian! Bakugou - Iron

Alpha Dragon! Bakugo x Thief Omega! Reader

Pro Hero! Bakugou Katsuki x Female! Reader

Overhaul - When Kai Wakes Up in Another Universe

Overhaul - Wedding Day

Hawks - Courting Troubles

Alpha! Dabi x Omega! Reader

Alpha! Tamaki Amakiji x Omega! Reader

Dabi, Shigaraki - He Tells You to Run During His Fight and You Get Lost

Hawks, Overhaul, Dabi - How the Boys React to You Doing the Break Up and Get Back to Your Ex Thing

Omegaverse - Anything from this Author is Great

-----

👊 One Punch Man

Yandere! Garou - Turning the Tables

Yandere! Garou - Please Don't Save Me

Yandere! Garou - Child's Play (NSFW)

-----

🔰 Attack on Titan

Levi - The Perfect Blend

-----

🏍️ Tokyo Revengers

Chifuyu, Mikey, Mitsuya, Baji, Izana - Mythological AU! #2 Omegaverse

“i love you and i love you.” ᡣ𐭩

{yuta okkotsu x f!reader}

summary: yuta okkotsu has been hopelessly in love with you since he was fifteen. you, his muse and his reason to live as you took care of him growing up more than anyone else in his life. in fear of breaking your best friend pact and losing you entirely, yuta swallows his feelings for the sake of keeping you in his life, but he can only take so much.

warnings: college au, friends to best friends to lovers trope, lowkey ooc yuta oops, mentions of underage drinking, hopelessly devoted and lovesick yuta for reader, cursing!!! both reader and yuta cuss lol, lots and lots of fluff, ANGST, afab!reader, use of y/n, pet names, no smut in this one! slight sexual themes, reader is older than yuta by two years.

word count: 8.7k

authors note: YAAALLL i actually poured my heart and soul out into this one so i really hope it reaches your heart and soul as well! it is so so cute and i had so much fun writing it. this is definitely not the end of this au! i plan to write more short stories that take place after this one :) mwah.

————————————————————————

yuta was thirteen years old when he first saw you.

you were a casual friend of his older brother who had invited his entire group of friends over for a thanksgiving feast reunion amongst yourselves. yuta stayed locked in his room for the most part, from time to time lazily making his way down the halls and through the kitchen where you all sat to get a glass of water for himself, silently savoring at the food on the table.

eventually you had picked up on his lame attempts of coming into the kitchen for random excuses, concluding that he just wanted to gawk at the food and maybe score a bite or two of the pumpkin pie drenched in whipped cream, sitting pretty and proud in the middle of the table.

but after various unsuccessful attempts and various defeated stomps down the hall and back to his room after every shoo from his brother, he knew he wasn’t going to get even a lick. at the end of the night when the group settled down and many began to take their leave, yuta made his way back down one more time in search of any lucky scraps left behind.

but what he found instead was you, standing in the kitchen with a white porcelain plate in your hands, a slice of pumpkin pie drenched in whipped cream sitting pretty in the middle.

“for you,” you had said calmly, plate outstretched, beckoning him to take it. “i saw you come down a few times looking at it, and i think whoever brought it is taking the rest of it back home, so here.”

yuta had never spoken to a girl before, much less a fifteen year old one with the sweetest smile he had ever seen in his life on her face, but he timidly and awkwardly took the smooth plate from your offering hands, and muttered a squeaky thank you before stumbling down the hall and slamming his bedroom door shut.

from then on, yuta looked forward to the next time his brother would have his friends over, nagging at him constantly with questions of when, and even going as far as to straight up planning the hangouts himself (the location of all of them being at their house of course), but his brother would only shove him out of his room and lock the door shut.

luckily for yuta his wish was granted, and his curious eyes saw you around a lot more often than not, and you gradually became a close friend of yuta’s brother instead of just casual one. every time you came over to his house, you always greeted him with the biggest smile on your face before going into his brother’s room with the rest of the group. and over time, your greetings to yuta went from sweet smiles, to pats on the head, to ruffling up his hair occasionally, and to his personal favorite, the side hug.

you always were around in yuta’s growing life and always made sure he had gotten something to eat that day, or if he had a ride to soccer practice, or if his phone had enough battery to last him through his tutoring sessions, or even if he had someone going to watch his soccer games in the mornings (which was never).

yuta was fifteen when he realized he liked you.

“so no one is going?” you asked sharply, “again?”

yuta shrugged. “its at eight o’ clock in the morning. i don’t expect anyone to, not even you-“

“well i’m going,” you said simply, putting the rest of your textbooks away in your locker and slamming it shut. “geez not even your brother goes to your games? i’m gonna yell at him later.”

“it’s fine.” yuta shook his head and gave you a small smile, his insides twisting and contorting with an overwhelming boy crush for you. “a lot of my teammates parents don’t go either, usually only to the first two of the season.”

but not you. you went every single time, even going as far as dragging his brother with you so he could have family there to watch him play. yuta always made sure to turn and raise a hand to you from across the field, waving it side to side before getting back in the game, his heart thumping wildly in his chest with an insane sense of adrenaline to do good on the field and show off— because you were watching.

yuta was still fifteen when he realized you liked his brother.

firstly, he felt utterly stupid for not picking up on it before. yuta was always too busy staring at you and memorizing every inch and detail of your face to realize that you were looking at his brother the same way yuta looked at you. he was too busy running around in soccer fields and eating the ham sandwiches you always made for him after practices to realize how red your face would get when you sat next to his brother during his games, or when you gave him sandwiches. yuta was too busy drooling over you in his mind that sometimes you wouldn’t even notice him waving at you from across the field like he always did, your eyes trained on his brother instead, that sweet smile he was all too familiar with shining for someone else.

it wasn’t fair. it wasn’t fair at all. yuta felt like his brother always got everything and he always ended up with scraps. yuta never got a friend group like his, or a stellar reputation in a sport like he did, or people at his beck and call everywhere he went, or nominations for pointless shit like homecoming king.

but yuta didn’t give a flying fuck about any of that. he didn’t want any of that. he wanted you. just you.

but he couldn’t have you.

yuta was sixteen when he realized he was in love with you.

he had been for a while actually, and he knew it, but the thought alone of you liking his stupid brother only fueled the fire of denial to save himself from getting hurt more than he already was.

but it was absolutely pouring rain that day, his tutoring session having been cancelled last minute due to the weather, and because of this he had no ride home and no umbrella to even attempt at walking home, not that he could anyways seeing as it would take him thirty minutes to do so. yuta absolutely could not take that chance. he had his laptop in his backpack with all of his school work, and worst of all, his final project that he had been working on since the beginning of the school year, a precious green portfolio filled with notes worth more than gold to him.

yuta grumbled as he scuffed his feet against the concrete at the front of his school under a rooftop, lips pressed into a thin line in annoyance. his parents were at work, there was no way they could just drop everything and go to him (not that they would anyways), and his brother was too busy hanging out with you doing god knows what at god knows where— so even calling you was out of the picture.

at the mere thought of you hanging out with his brother, he sighed softly, sadly, and slumped down on a blue bench with his cold hands stuffed into the pockets of his jacket, eyes trained to the ground.

heavy pit pats of rain smacked against the ground as he sat there in thought, the sounds of cars zooming down the wet streets as the only source of life around besides himself, seeing as it was already late in the day and everybody else had gone home. without him even noticing, the front doors beside him creaked open as he sat there grumbling.

“yuta?”

his head snapped up upon hearing your pretty voice call out to him, his eyes wide as he saw you standing there with an umbrella.

“what are you doing here?” he asked softly, standing up. yuta looked at you then and noticed your eyes were red and tired, and a shock of worry shot up his spine.

“i was-”

“are you okay?” he asked quickly. “your eyes are red.”

“oh really?” you mumbled, rubbing your eyes with your palm, waving him off. “it’s nothing, i didn’t even notice.”

he pursed his lips, concern written all over his face as he took in your defeated expression, but before he could press any further, you spoke again.

“why aren’t you in tutoring?”

“oh they cancelled last minute,” he stuffed his hands further into his jacket and looked to the side. “i don’t have a ride home now because of it, and i can’t even walk home because it’s raining hard as fuck and i have my laptop in my backpack.”

you hummed in understanding, and even though it looked like the worst possible thing ever just happened to you, you gave him that same sweet smile he craved every time he saw you. “let’s walk to your house together. i have an umbrella we can try and fit under.”

he looked at you incredulously. “no no! it’s okay! you live down the street i don’t want to make you walk thirty minutes in the rain with me and thirty back-”

“it’s okay!” you laughed. “i would never leave you here by yourself yu, you know that.”

oh how he loved when you called him that.

his shoulders slowly relaxed, a wobbly cute smile spreading across his face, his cheeks a fuzzy pink. “okay.”

you walked together in a comfortable silence, your little umbrella just barely covering the both of you and yuta’s cheeks were still an intense pinky shade due to the close proximity, his steamy breath basically fanning the side of your ear as he huddled close to you.

after a few minutes spent walking on the sidewalk, yuta spoke up again.

“why are your eyes red?”

you immediately froze, but relaxed quickly.

“just tired s’all,” you responded weakly, but the little wobbling of your bottom lip told him otherwise.

yuta slowly lifted his hand and reached out, placing it softly on top of yours and clenching over the stem of the umbrella. the action caused you both to stop walking, your curious eyes snapping to his.

his palm felt like it was on absolute fire at the feeling of your soft hand under his, yuta’s breath trembling as he breathed out.

he swallowed. “can you please tell me why.”

your eyes flooded with tears then, and you shut them tightly as you dropped your forehead solemnly to rest against his shoulder, your frame shaking with quiet sobs escaping your lips.

yuta’s eyes softened and he quickly took the umbrella from you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders in a tight hug. his heart thumped so hard against his chest that he could hear it ringing through his ears.

he patted the back of your head gently. “what happened? what’s going on?”

you shook your head against his chest.

“y/n..” he sighed worriedly, running a soothing hand over your shaking back now.

“i have a crush on your brother,” you sobbed.

he knew. god he knew. but hearing you say it out loud broke his heart ten times more than it did when he found out on his own.

yuta slightly pulled back, bending his knees a little to look at you at eye level, his hand on your shoulder.

“i know.”

your eyebrows furrowed, more silent tears spilling from your eyes. “you know?”

yuta nodded, smiling sadly at you as he wiped your tears with his thumb, your eyes closing as he did so. “i spend almost every second of my life with you, of course i know. i noticed.”

you sniffed.

“weren’t you just with him now?” he asked.

your eyes shut tightly again, eyebrows contorted in pain as you nodded. “i confessed to him. i wanted to tell him before we graduated next month.”

you lifted your hands and covered your face, sobbing into them. “i’ve loved him since middle school.”

loved?

yuta’s shoulders slumped as he stared straight ahead, feeling like he wanted to crawl into a deep dark hole and stay there.

“he-“ you hiccuped. “he rejected me.”

his head snapped down immediately, eyebrows furrowing in a mix of disbelief and anger. “huh? he rejected you?”

you nodded, dropping your hands from your eyes and burying your head in his chest.

“why? what did he say?”

“he said he didn’t feel the same way—” you stopped for a moment to even out your breaths. “and that he was sorry.”

yuta scoffed, shaking his head. “what a big fucking loser.”

you snorted at that, and he looked down at you fondly, relieved you laughed.

“he… he thanked me for everything that i’ve done for your family though, especially you.”

he stayed silent.

“he said he was thankful that i was like another sibling for you, and that i took care of you.”

another sibling?

yuta didn’t say anything, that phrase like a slash through his heart while he still thought about how much of a fucking idiot he was to reject you. you, out of anyone deserved to get everything you wanted. you were selfless, incredibly sweet, the most gorgeous human being to ever walk this earth, and you had done so much for everyone that you neglected your own needs all of the time.

how could he not love you back? how could his brother not see the angel in his life that loved him, that sentiment alone an absolute privilege to have? something he would kill for?

yuta knew he shouldn’t make this about himself. he knew you were absolutely hurting and heartbroken, but he just had to know. it was eating him alive inside and out and over and over again as he kept thinking about it.

“is that how you see me?”

“hu-huh?” you hiccuped, picking your head up from his chest to look at him.

“as another sibling. is that how you see me?”

you blinked up at him, your eyes trailing over his furrowed eyebrows and worried gaze, and you hesitated for a moment, not knowing exactly why.

but you nodded, slowly. “you’re my best friend, yu. you’re not just anyone to me i care a lot about you. more than most people in my life.”

for a moment, yuta looked at you blankly, his mind unable to properly register your words. he didn’t know whether he wanted to cry, call up his brother and yell at him, kiss you, or run away.

a part of him knew that too, that you only saw him as a sibling. but like everything else in his life, he buried it down and chose to pretend like it didn’t exist for the sake of his heart.

but regardless of you not returning his feelings, he would rather be something to you than nothing at all. he would rather make some type of difference in your life and have a special spot, than be an absolute nobody to you.

so he smiled. he smiled with soft sad eyes and nodded, pulling you back in and resting his cheek against the top of your head. “you’re my best friend too.”

yuta didn’t see you around much at his house after that, which he understood.

but you still texted yuta everyday and hung out with him sometimes at school, and you still went to his games and practices and made him ham sandwiches after, and you still gave him that sweet smile he loved so so much.

but he never missed how sad you got around his brother, even at the mere mention of him. he never missed how your eyes stayed glued to the ground or had a far off look to them, your arms wrapped around yourself with a safe distance between you both.

when you graduated high school, yuta was a brat the entire ceremony. he was pissed. so pissed that you were two years older than him and that he wasn’t going to see your pretty self around school anymore, which was pretty much the only reason he tolerated it in the first place.

but when your graduating class threw their caps up into the air and his family went down to congratulate his brother, yuta made a beeline for you instead.

and behind that scowl on his face that he had the entire day, his eyes were glossy.

yuta never cried.

when you noticed, your shoulders instantly dropped and you ran to his open arms, practically throwing yourself on him. “yuuu! don’t cry for me!”

“who said i’m crying?” yuta grumbled into your shoulder.

you pulled back and smiled at him, “i’m gonna miss you the most.”

yuta smiled, but then faltered, and a sliver of fear shot up his spine. was this the last time he was going to see you? was this the start of you both slowly distancing, and then ultimately falling apart? were you still going to call him and text him everyday?

as if you could sense his fear, you quickly shook your head. “you’re literally stuck with me for life. you will never find another best friend to replace me, you got it?”

you waved your little index finger at him sternly, and yuta laughed. “i got it.”

yuta was nineteen when he almost kissed you.

after you graduated high school, luckily you went to a college that was only about a thirty minute drive from his place. you were still in yuta’s life, if not way more than it was before, which he thanked his lucky stars for. you went from being a best friend of his brothers, to being only his best friend, as you and his brother didn’t really talk anymore after high school.

and to that, yuta was happy.

and when he graduated high school, you of course were there, crying and pinching his cheeks and hugging him so tight his back cracked a little bit.

he didn’t go to the same college you did (although he definitely tried but didn’t get in) and went to one that was about forty five minutes away from home, one he commuted to everyday like you did for yours.

you both got so much closer that you obliviously acted like a couple, when you weren’t. yuta would pick you up from class and drive you to lunch, pay for all of your meals and anything you practically wanted despite you fighting him every time on it. he would kiss your forehead and your cheek and throw his arm around your shoulder when you walked, he would call you baby and compliment you every single day, and he would sleep over at your house almost all of the time, your head on his chest and his arm wrapped around your torso.

he knew best friends weren’t really supposed to act like this, but did you? you both had grown so accustomed to it that it wasn’t a weird thing for you both, but the constant questions from your mutual friends or even each others parents was a dead giveaway that it in fact, was not how best friends were supposed to act.

but neither of you seemed to care.

“stop moving yu!” you whispered harshly as you applied an aloe vera mud mask to his face. yuta snickered, dodging your fingers every time they came close to applying the mask, with the only reason he was doing it being because it made you laugh.

you were both sat on your fluffy pink rug in the middle of your room in your pajamas, surrounded by all of your skincare essentials and even the fancy products you only pulled out on special occasions. it was one in the morning at this point and you both were still up, trying to keep your laughter to a minimum in attempts at not waking up your parents downstairs.

“baby this stuff smells kind of funky,” he commented as you applied some to his cheek.

“the funkier the better,” you responded, focused. “kind of smells like you.”

he pinched your side and you giggled, flinching away. “i’m kidding! i’m almost done, don’t move.”

yuta listened and stayed still, watching your concentrated pretty face that was practically inches away from his as you applied the mask to the rest of his face, his poor heart almost giving out.

once you were done, you smiled triumphantly and wiped your fingers with a warm damp towel. “all done!”

yuta smiled fondly at you and kissed your cheek. “thanks. is this what you put on every night?”

you shook your head, “not every night, only when i want my skin to look extra good for special occasions.”

“which is..?”

“it’s usually when you invite me over to your family events or when we eat dinner at that one really nice place by your school.”

yuta stopped at that and he felt his heart clench at your words. he didn’t know why and he usually didn’t let it, but his mind was making him believe that maybe…

no.

he relaxed again, humming in acknowledgement. you picked up a circular pink little tub compartment thing and unscrewed the cap, dipping your ring finger in the shimmery product.

“what’s that?” he asked softly, nodding his head to it.

“it’s my lip scrub!” you responded enthusiastically, lifting your ring finger and scooting closer to him. his eyes looked straight at you as you slid your finger over his lips. “it has kind of like a rough texture, it’s supposed to exfoliate your lips and make them really soft.”

his cheeks slowly turned pink, his eyes trailing down to your lips as you sat back, finished.

“here— put some on me now so you can feel what i’m talking about,” you handed him the little tub and he dipped his index finger in, swallowing the lump in his throat.

he timidly lifted his hand and pressed his finger to your waiting perfect lips, softly and gently running the product on your bottom lip before going to the top, his eyes mesmerized and nearly drooling.

yuta was practically tracing you, wanting to burn forever the shape of your mouth into his brain to remember for the rest of his life, wanting nothing more than to press his lips on yours.

but he inhaled sharply and quickly dropped his hand. “i’m finished.”

you pressed your lips together and spread the product around, “did you feel it?”

he shakily nodded, wiping his finger on the warm damp towel before handing it over for you to do the same.

you held up a corner of the towel to his lips and gently wiped the scrub away, “and now they’re soft.”

you passed the towel back over to him, and you sat back, eagerly waiting for him to do the same.

yuta swallowed again and mimicked you, except he was much slower, much more gentle over your plush lips as he subconsciously leaned closer to you that by the time he was done, his nose almost bumped with yours.

with eyes half lidded, he stared at your lips in a daze, licking his bottom lip slightly as you looked at him with wide eyes. he wanted to, so badly, to just grab your face and press your lips together, to pour the love he’s had for you for the past four years out and cherish you with everything that he has.

“yu?” you spoke softly, your voice barely above a whisper, your breath fanning against his lips.

his eyes immediately snapped to yours and he flinched back like a deer in headlights. “so— so when do i take this off?” he pointed to his face. “the mud mask.. when does it come off?”

you looked at him curiously, your eyebrows slightly pinched together as you tried to make sense of what was happening, if anything even really happened.

“almost..” you responded, unfocused. “in about five minutes.”

yuta quickly nodded and pressed his lips into a thin line, his hands clenched so hard into tight fists that his knuckles turned white.

he couldn’t look you in the eye. what the fuck was he doing? he was going to scare you away if he kept doing things like this, if he kept almost slipping up and doing something that could jeopardize your friendship with him.

your trust.

you nudged his shoulder with your finger, and he finally looked at you.

“is the face mask bothering you that much?” you said with a silly smile, and yuta physically deflated, affection pumping through his system.

“no baby,” he shook his head. “i like it! i think i should keep it on for the rest of the night and go to class with it tomorrow morning.”

you snorted and shook your head, “don’t be mean.”

he raised his hands up frantically, “i’m not! you think everybody has the privilege of getting a free facial by their pretty best friend?” he held up his index finger and wiggled it side to side. “i don’t think so.”

you giggled, so much, and grabbed the warm damp towel again, scooting closer to him by your knees. you began wiping away the mask on his face, being careful of not going too rough in fear of accidentally irritating and hurting him. yuta held you by the hips, assisting in keeping your balance and rubbing little circles into your stomach with his thumbs.

your cheeks went a little pink after a bit.

as the rest of the night went on, and when you both finally settled into bed facing each other— his hand on the side of your hip, you softly traced the rather dark bags under his eyes and frowned.

“you need to get more sleep, yu. i think you’ve had these bags since you were fifteen.”

“it’s because i always grind so i can buy you a big white house with a wiener dog and a picket fence.”

you laughed a little too loud and slapped a hand over your mouth, leaning forward and resting your forehead against his as your shoulders shook. when you settled down, you removed your hand and smiled sweetly.

“only if the house comes with you.”

yuta’s breath hitched, and his eyes searched yours desperately, for any indication that maybe, just maybe, you…

no.

“what… you want me as a roommate?”

you playfully rolled your eyes and gently shoved his shoulder.

yuta was twenty years old when he confessed to you.

it was also the first big fight you guys ever had in your entire years of knowing each other.

your relationship stayed the same, two peas in a little pod through college that never seemed to go to one place without the other, so much so that when you did, people would often ask where the other half was. he loved it. he loved you so much, and he found it harder and harder and more heart breaking for him as the years went by watching you not be his in any way shape or form.

every time he visited your campus or went with you to your college parties, he noticed the lurking eyes it seemed like every guy had on you everywhere you went, and it agitated yuta more than anything else. he was still a stubborn brat, and instead of doing something about it and maybe telling you how he feels, he just endures the pain and scowls at their glances, leading you through crowds by the hand or by the small of your back.

he never really indulged in the traditional college experience like you did, and never ever talked to any other girl besides you. he never wanted to or had any interest in doing so, regardless of you returning his feelings or not. you also never really talked to any other guy besides yuta or made any mention of your dating life, people mostly assuming you both were.

yuta weaved through the crowd, trying to spot a place for the both of you to sit while you went to get drinks from the kitchen. upon finally breaking free from the pile of dancing sweaty bodies, he recognized one of your girl friends and a couple of others sitting on a long lounge sofa, her eyes perking up.

“y/n’s boyfriend! you came?”

he stopped a bit, then smiled wide.

“yeah! she’s in the kitchen now by the way, she’ll be over here in a second.”

and when you did come over, already a bit tipsy from the line of shots you got pulled into while getting drinks, you walked over to where yuta sat while greeting your friends, handing him a red solo cup. and instead of sitting in the spot yuta had saved for you right beside him, you settled neatly on his lap.

his eyes nearly bulged out of their eye sockets as you swung an arm around his shoulders for support and made yourself comfortable. you had never done something like this, and he swallowed the huge lump in his throat as trembling hands settled around your waist and over your lap. his arm tingled with the feeling of your thighs underneath, afraid to put his hands anywhere near them in fear of making you uncomfortable or accidentally grabbing your face and making out with you.

but the chance of that happening wasn’t anywhere near impossible, as he was already tipsy by his drink and his hand was already gently caressing over the skin of your soft plush thighs.

best friends don’t do things like this.

and he did not give a single fuck.

your boobs were practically shoved up in his face, his pinky cheeks absolutely blazing as his eyes darted to every corner of the house and anywhere else that wasn’t your tits, his lips itching to feel, to taste.

the night progressed and the both of you got increasingly more and more drunk, clinging on to each other on the couch or stumbling through the house, laughing when one of you would trip and almost face plant on the hardwood floors, leaning on to each other for support.

“your boyfriend almost knocked over the tub of tropical mix in the kitchen!” your girl friend yelled over the loud booming music, laughing.

yuta expected you to correct her, but you didn’t, and only laughed along with her.

“no it wasn’t him! it was me,” you giggled drunkenly, your arms around his neck as his were tight around your waist, your group standing off to the side of the dance floor. “he had to grab me and pull me from it!”

and that’s how it often was, just you and him. you taking care of him and him taking care of you in every way possible, trying to pay you back for all of the years you spent being there for him when he was younger and way more, simply because he wanted to.

and on a night where yuta was studying for finals in his room, his brother that was visiting from college came in and sat down on the edge of his bed.

“you studying?” he asked.

yuta nodded, not bothering to take his eyes away from his notebook, still scribbling down his notes. he never really had the best relationship with his brother, much less after what had happened with you getting rejected by him.

his brother took a deep breath through his nose and nodded. “i um… are you still friends with y/n?”

that caught his attention, and yuta’s eyes lifted from his notes to look at him. “yes? i’m with her like, most of the time. if you haven’t noticed.”

“no i have,” his brother murmured. “how is she?”

yuta took a second to respond. “she’s good.”

“that’s good that’s good. does she um- does she still have the same number?”

yuta put down his pencil and leaned back against his desk chair. “why?”

“i wanted to just catch up with her is all,” he shrugged. “i saw her when you brought her here for mom’s birthday and i hadn’t seen her since graduation.”

“catch up with her?” yuta mumbled. “since when do you give a shit about y/n?”

his brother scoffed. “i always have, yuta.”

“didn’t seem like it when you rejected her and started dating one of her close friends like the next day.”

his brother didn’t say anything, and yuta rolled his eyes at the lack of response, picking his pencil back up to continue his work.

“i still have her on social media and see what she’s up to… she posts you a lot. are you guys like— a thing?”

yuta bit the inside of his cheek. “no.”

his brother visibly relaxed for whatever reason and nodded. “i just want to talk to her again, is all. maybe buy her dinner—”

yuta pushed his textbook away, dropped his pencil again and spun around, looking at him with narrowed eyes. “fuck no.”

his brother scoffed. “i’m not asking for permission—”

“fuck no.”

“yuta i’m your brother i literally took you to school everyday and took care of you—”

“y/n did that.” yuta cut him off. “y/n gave me rides to school when i didn’t have my license and bought me food when i didn’t have a job. she also came to every single one of my games regardless of the weather and helped me with my homework when i was too stupid to figure it out on my own, everything you should’ve done.”

“that’s not true—”

“yes it is.” yuta crossed his arms in annoyance. “she didn’t have to do any of that. she never had to take care of me the way that she did but she did it anyways. she took on your role because you were too busy being a dingus doing god knows what and she knew that. y/n has done more for me than you’ve ever done in your entire twenty two years of living.”

his brother sat there in silence, yuta’s heavy angry breathing being the only thing heard in the room.

“okay well—” his brother stood from his bed and walked over to the door. “i’m just going to text her—”

“why the fuck are you gonna meddle into her life now? what… are you bored? are you not satisfied with whatever fucking girl you find up there at school?” yuta threw his arms up in irritation, his blood beginning to boil. “you treated her like shit. like absolute dog shit when you ignored her and avoided her for months after she confessed to you. do you understand how disrespectful that is?”

“whatever man it was high school—”

“and what, that gives you a pass to treat her like that? when that happened i was sixteen picking up the pieces you shit all over at your grown age—”

“i’m leaving.”

and with that, his brother walked out and slammed the door shut, and yuta was left absolutely red. red with anger he had never felt before in his life as he grabbed his notebook and chucked it across the room. he hated how casual he spoke of you, like you were just another girl he was going to try and get to know and fuck— to then leave without another word like his brother’s been doing his whole fucking life to girls. but not to you, it couldn’t happen to you.

and it was like yuta was going through the five stages of grief because then he was afraid. what if you let his brother back into your life? what if you fell for him again? you’d done it before the chances were not zero of you doing it again.

yuta didn’t want to lose you. he would rather gauge his eyes out and eat them for breakfast.

with that, yuta stumbled through his room putting on his shoes and snatching his car keys from his night stand, running down the hall and slamming the front door shut before getting in his car.

the drive was only about fifteen minutes to your house, and he felt so bad that it was nearly two in the morning and he was most likely going to wake you up, but he couldn’t stand it. he was going absolutely crazy, everything in him gnawing and eating him alive, his brother having pushed every single button in his body and more.

his tires screeched as he pulled into your driveway, thankful that your parents were away on a getaway trip as he slammed his car door shut and made his way up to your front door. yuta rang your doorbell twice before you finally opened it.

slowly, you peeked your tired eye through the slit, and your body immediately relaxed at the sight of him. “oh my god yuta, you scared the absolute shit out of—”

you stopped, your face falling at his livid expression and the way his chest heaved erratically. “yu? are you okay? what’s going on—”

but yuta only pushed passed you and trudged up your stairs without another word. dumbstruck, you closed your front door with a click and locked it, following him up the stairs and into your room.

“what’s wrong?”

“my brother is visiting from college.” he mumbled, sitting stiff on your desk chair. you moved to stand in front of him.

“…you mentioned that yeah—”

“and he… he told me that he wants to reach out to you.”

your eyebrows furrowed, taken aback. “me? for what?”

“he says he wants to catch up with you, see how you’re doing. be friends again i guess.”

yuta’s eyes remained stuck to the floor like glue, and you remained silent as you processed his words, confused out of your mind.

“i mean… i mean i guess? i guess that’s fine—”

his head snapped up, “that’s fine?”

you shrugged, “yes? i don’t see the big deal i don’t—”

“baby—” he shook his head in disbelief. “he absolutely broke you and treated you like nothing in high school, and you’re fine letting him back into your life? great.”

you narrowed your eyes at him. “why are you being like that? he just wants to be friends again and that’s fine with me—”

yuta scoffed. “he doesn’t deserve it! he doesn’t deserve you—”

“yuta, whatever happened between your brother and i was years ago! i’m over it! this isn’t a big fucking deal!”

you hated fighting with him, god how much you hated it, and the way that he looked at you now was making you absolutely sick.

“so you’re just gonna be friends with him again?” he shrugged, looking at you with narrowed eyes.

“yeah?”

“you’re fucking stupid,” he spat, getting up from your desk chair and walking over to the door, reaching for your doorknob.

you instantly grabbed his shoulder and spun him around to face you. “what the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“what’s wrong with me?!” he raised his voice, jabbing a finger to his chest. “what’s wrong with you! do you not remember how bad you got when he did what he did?! do you really think i would stand here okay with you rekindling your little love for my brother?”

you scoffed, “my little love?!”

and before you knew it, angry tears were streaming down your face. you hated the way he was talking to you, and you didn’t know how your argument escalated so quickly and so drastically as you wiped your cheeks furiously.

and at the sight of you crying, yuta faltered slightly, his eyes softening.

“why do you think i still love him? i don’t! i haven’t since he rejected me!—”

“who says you won’t start again?” he spoke lowly, arms crossed over his chest. “my brother never had to lift a fucking finger for you to be head over heels for him. you don’t give a shit about yourself and you’re willing to throw yourself at him again—”

“shut up.” you spat, sobs raking through your body. “the fact that you’re stuffing a bunch of fucking words into my mouth and assuming i’m going to jump into your brothers arms is bullshit.”

“i—”

“is this how low you think of me?”

“no baby i don’t—”

“yes you clearly do because everything that’s come out of your mouth—”

“no! no i’m sorry i don’t—”

“then why—”

yuta shoved his hands into his hair exasperated, “because i love you!”

he let his arms fall limp, his eyes glossy and red with the most gut wrenching look on his face that read pure exhaustion. you had never seen him so torn.

“i love you and i love you and i have since since i was fifteen,” his voice shook with each word, hands trembling at his sides. “more than a best friend, more than anything in this world, and i never saw you like another sibling like you did for me.”

“fi.. fifteen?” you spoke so softly he almost didn’t hear you.

he nodded sadly, silent tears slipping down his cheeks and you automatically reached up, softly wiping them away with your thumbs as he closed his eyes, much like how yuta did when you got your heart broken by his brother on that rainy day.

yuta never cried.

“i swallowed it. you loved my brother and i swallowed it. i didn’t give a shit if you only saw me as a sibling because i would rather make some type of mark in your life and be in it than not have you at all. but i can’t take it anymore.”

he let out a sob, and he instantly shoved his face in the crook of his arm in embarrassment.

“yu…”

“you mean absolutely everything to me baby,” his voice was muffled a bit by his elbow, and after roughly wiping his eyes on the sleeve of his sweater, he dropped his arm to look at you again. “i would do absolutely a-anything for you. you’re precious to me and the prettiest girl i have ever laid my eyes on and will ever lay my eyes on.”

he hiccuped and crossed his arms over his chest, staring up at your ceiling. “but i know you don’t love me like i love you. i’ve known for years and i just can’t bring myself to let you go. it’s so bad that i would rather you break my heart over and over again than let you go for the sake of my wellbeing and watch you walk out of my life—”

“yuta, can you please look at me?”

“i— i can’t,” he shook his head as his voice trembled, tears slipping from the sides of his eyes as he continued to stare at your ceiling. “i can’t do it—”

you slowly reached out and cupped his wet cheeks in the palm of your hands, tilting his face down gently to look at you, your eyes filled with remorse at the defeated look on his face.

“why didn’t you tell me?” you asked softly. “why didn’t you tell you were hurting so much?”

he shook his head slowly in your hands. “it’s not fair to you. i didn’t want to put you in a difficult position—”

“what difficult position, yu?” you spoke so gently, so sweetly to him that he almost fell to his knees. “how could you have kept this in for five years? i can’t even imagine—” you hiccuped, “i hate that you were hurting because of me-“

your voice began to contort again into sobs, and he quickly shook his head. “no baby no, it was not because of you, you did nothing wrong. you did the exact opposite.”

you wiped more of his tears with your fingers as he spoke, listening intently.

“no one gave a shit about me the way you did. not even my own parents, and not even my stupid brother that pretended like i practically didn’t exist. you were the only one that was there and you didn’t have to be. you could’ve easily ditched me at any given point and you never did, and i can’t thank you enough for giving me a reason to keep going.”

he wiped his eyes. “and that’s why i fell in love with you so hard because you were so selfless and sweet and i love your smile. i don’t think i could ever make up for everything you’ve done—”

“but you have!—” you interjected, but yuta only shook his head.

“no i haven’t. i’m a stubborn asshole who just said a bunch of shit five minutes ago that i didn’t mean and i only hurt you and i never wanted that—”

“yuta.” you spoke firmly. “you’ve literally done more for me than anyone else in my entire life and i hate that you can’t see that or give yourself credit. you were there for me when i went absolutely insane after your brother rejected me even though you loved me then. you put your own feelings aside to take care of me baby..”

you softly took his hands and led him to sit with you on the bed, wiping his wet cheeks with your sleeve.

“do you not remember when even though you didn’t have a job, any chance you got money you would spend it on me instead of yourself?” you laughed softly. “the minute you got your license you drove me anywhere i wanted… and even to little things like the store because you said you didn’t want me to spend gas money.”

yuta slightly smiled.

“you never ditched me either, when there was every opportunity you could’ve. you always make sure i eat and get enough sleep… and you make me so happy yu, i wish you could see how much i miss you when you’re not around.”

he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and leaned in, softly planting a kiss to your cheek. you smiled warmly.

“who told you i didn’t love you back?”

yuta froze. “you did?”

“when?”

“the day my brother rejected you?” he cocked his head to the side. “i had asked you if you saw me as another sibling and you said yes.”

you threw your head back and moaned, “oh my god yu, of course in that moment because i was stupid and into your brother and i had just gotten rejected!”

you deflated and smiled at him warmly then, your eyes shining with emotions he didn’t allow himself to believe were there. for five years, yuta forced himself to believe you could never return his feelings as a form of protection, and now there was a huge wall in his brain that was itching to come down.

you scooted closer to him and wrapped your arms around his neck, your foreheads touching. “ask me again.”

“hm?” he was dazed, wide eyes staring into yours.

“ask me that question again,” you spoke softly. “the one from that day.”

yuta swallowed thickly, his breathing shaky through his nose, reiterating the phrase he played through his head like a broken record since it happened.

“as another sibling…” he murmured. “is that how you see me?”

you shook your head gently against his forehead, “no… to me—” you leaned back slightly and tilted your head to the side. “you look like the man i’ve been in love with for the past three years.”

silence. nothing.

and then, his eyes welled with tears as he tackled you down and just cried. he cried and he cried into your neck and shook like a little leaf, you holding him so unbelievably tight as your bottom lip wobbled. yuta’s arms were snaked around you as he held you with just as much force if not more.

half a decade. half a decade yuta spent hopelessly lovesick for you that your words burned over his entire body like a fever, his mind reeling and hazy. he held on to you so fucking tight and refused to let go of you, in fear that this was all just some horrendous sick dream and he was going to wake up alone in his bed without you.

you placed a hand on the back of his head as you hugged him, “i love you so much yuta that sometimes i feel like im going nuts.” you laughed softly. “it was always you… it’s been you that’s why i said earlier that i didn’t care if your brother wanted to be friends again, because i love you and i don’t give a shit about him and i’m sorry i made you upset—”

“no,” he lifted his head from the crook of your neck and looked at you, his cheeks flushed with dried up tears and red eyes. “that was just me being an absolute dick and scared of re-living high school all over again. i took that out on you and that wasn’t fair at all, baby. i’m sorry.”

you carded your fingers through his hair. “we both have things to be sorry about, and a lot of years to make up for.”

and finally, yuta grinned so big that his cheeks hurt.

“can i—“ he exhaled shakily. “can i kiss you?”

“please.”

and he smashed his lips against yours, greedily kissing you with so much desperation as he lip locked with you, his hands squeezing and roaming your body. the sound of your lips smacking was loud, and his kisses were so needy and sloppy against your soft plush lips that you squeaked at the intensity. you felt him grin again at your noise and he pulled away from you.

“i’ve wanted this for so long…” he breathed out, his breath fanning against your face as you tried to recover from what was probably the best kiss of your life. you nodded frantically, too dazed and caught up in the thought of his mouth on yours to respond with sentences that made sense.

he chuckled cutely at this, and he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “i love you and i love you.”

and since then, it was like the final wall had finally crumbled down, and yuta began to live like he was supposed to, like he was meant to, with you. his days of yearning and silent torment were over, and most of the time it still felt like a dream whenever he was by your side.

things stayed relatively the same between you two, as you now acknowledge how much of a couple you both actually were acting prior to yuta’s confession. the only major difference now though, was that yuta earned the privilege to call you his and give you sweet kisses as he picked you up from class, or when you make and hand him those ham sandwiches you always do just for him, only this time adorned with a honeyed kiss of your own.

sitting on his living room couch now, your head resting on his lap as a random horror movie played in the background, yuta’s fingers gently brushed over the features of your face as you stared at the tv, his eyes stuck to you like sticky lovesick glue.

you turned your head to look at him after a bit. “why don’t you start playing soccer again?” you hummed. “is there a team at your school?”

yuta nodded, “there is baby.”

“why don’t you try out?” you smiled sweetly at him, and his heart ached. “i always loved watching you play. i miss it.”

“okay,” he tapped your nose. “just for you.”

you rolled your eyes playfully. “and i’ll start dragging your brother with me again.”

yuta’s eyes flung open as his jaw dropped, and you snorted, giggling uncontrollably as he tickled and pinched at your sides. “i’m just kidding! i’m kidding! i’d rather die.”

he let out a boyish laugh, his eyes sparkling as he looked down at you. “as much as i hate him, i can’t thank him enough for being a stupid dingus.”

you quirked an eyebrow, “thank him? why?”

yuta gently and softly pinched one of your cheeks as he smiled at you, and it was then that you noticed the bags under his eyes were nearly gone. he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips, moving some of your hair away from your face after he did so.

“because he brought you to me.”

and you smiled, that same radiant sweet smile that made him fall in love with you in the first place, as you reached up and ran a tender finger under where his eye bags once stood, your voice light and airy as you spoke—

“i love you and i love you, yuta.”