Here’s A Drawing I Did. In My Head She’s A Bratty Princess Of A Underwater Fey Court. I Might Post

Since it's watermelon season!

My grandfather used to grow watermelons, among other things, and he told me about most of this, especially the orange spot. Those are the absolute best!

hearing my voice projected through a microphone like wow do i always sound this gay

Winkler - Giles Corren Winkler is… a lot. But this bit is absolutely spectacular. The penis is flailing around with enough force to wrench itself out of her hand, spewing semen everywhere, rattling around and generally behaving like a wild creature separate from the owner, which is some frightening imagery. This won a Bad Sex award, and I think it's flesh-themed enough for this contest. Like Zorro.

Mr Peanut - Adam Ross 1. Liquified heart coating the innards is extremely Fleshy, 2. 'exploded quickly' isn't the brag this guy thinks it is.

Excerpts below the cut

Winkler: “And he came hard in her mouth and his dick jumped around and rattled on her teeth and he blacked out and she took his dick out of her mouth and lifted herself from his face and whipped the pillow away and he gasped and glugged at the air, and he came again so hard that his dick wrenched out of her hand and a shot of it hit him straight in the eye and stung like nothing he’d ever had in there, and he yelled with the pain, but the yell could have been anything, and as she grabbed at his dick, which was leaping around like a shower dropped in an empty bath, she scratched his back deeply with the nails of both hands and he shot three more times, in thick stripes on her chest. Like Zorro.”

Peanut: "He buried his face into Hannah’s c**t like a wanderer who’d found water in the desert. She tasted like a hot biscuit flavoured with pee. She grabbed his scruff and pulled his face to hers. They kissed, and she took his cock – it felt as thick as a Louisville Slugger – and guided him in. When he exploded – and he exploded quickly – he felt as if his heart had liquefied and then been shot out of him up through her vagina and uterus and her ovaries and up over her diaphragm and somehow down the vena cavity to her heart, his own now coating hers."

I got so sick of the cheesy Christmas playlist at work so I snuck in a version of All I Want For Christmas Is You where half way through the vocals change to Welcome To The Black Parade

Watching the customers slow down and squint in confusion is giving me life.

Play a warlock character who calls himself Vithimorex or something like that. Always mention how grateful you are to your patron, Frank, for the wondrous powers he gives you.

Slowly reveal that the powers you get from Frank are things like “sense of smell” and “verbal communication”. As it turns out, Vithimorex is an extradimensional Thing possessing the person formerly known as Frank. All the eldritch blasts and shadow conjurations are boring powers according to Vithimorex. He can’t wait for the level 14 ability to understand and appreciate music.

I need an art reference and i could just go to google images but i really think a random episode of Ok Ko i vaguely remember from watching it in fifth grade might have what i need

wait update me

theres a fight club at my school?????

Omg can I adopt this guy he's so freaking cutee😭

Take the little shart

He has a diet, 3 meals a day and a few snacks, and make sure to crush up the coffee beans or this menace will choke and die

He’s lying

you guy should all go and watch velocipastor pls It's so good/stupid. I love it

Guess That Rec: Round 1, Poll 17

Rec #33

Do you want a story about two queer-coded soulmates going on an adventure together to solve a mystery? Do you like found family dynamics? Grumpy tsundere x sunshine pairing? Domestic fluff? What about overcoming trauma and moving on from grief? Not to mention, in fantasy ancient China! Then this is the show for you! Cute sibling dynamics, found family, and queer-coding galore! Plus both of the protagonists are neurodivergent!

Rec #34

Do you like feminism? Do you like dinosaurs? Imagine the perfect fusion. A sex worker, revenge, ✨spice✨, religious crises, sexy priests having religious crises, ninjas, and a sexy priest having a crisis and contemplating murder while wearing a dress.

Goth DIY

It has become apparent that the gothy DIY knowledge of years past has not fluttered out to many folks. Here, let me give you some quick suggestions:

The Tights Thing: Get a pair of tights. (Which can often be found at dollar stores and thrift stores!) Cut out the crotch, and cut off the feet or make holes for your thumbs and fingers. Ta-da! A shirt!

Things To Do To Any Garment:

Safety pins: Get lots of safety pins (which can also be found at dollar stores), and use them to make designs on an item of clothing. (I've added safety pins in a line down seams on jackets.)

Paint pens: Draw on your clothes! Write song lyrics or quotes! (This also works with bleach pens.)

Appliques: You can sew or use safety pins to attach damn near anything you cut apart from another garment, a patch, or pieces of other fabric to something else.

Change the buttons. You can buy all sorts of interesting buttons from fabric stores, Amazon, eBay, Ali-Express ... you get the idea. Change the plain buttons on a shirt or jacket to interesting ones!

Add trim: Lace, ribbons, fringe, grommet tape ... hell, you can even sew chain onto things.

And finally, here's the Gothic Charm School post on Gothy DIY essentials! Go forth and alter your clothes!