Some Pages From My Book Of Pressed Flowers

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flower preservation 💐

Reflections over Holly Pond on Tuesday, January 21 6:45am

(viacarad1016)

hey do you think they sit like this often. and she scoots her head down a lil to listen to his heart. count his breaths.

do you think he counts his? cherishing that they're alive?

Sometimes I long to make something or do something in hopes of being remembered, and feel an aching shame for not having learned any of the skills I need for that yet, but then I remind myself that I've talked to people and loved people and left some kind of impact on them just by existing beside them, and that can be enough. I'm still going to learn, and create, and grow, and I can do that without the guilt or shame or fear or pressure. I can just be, and that's enough

I spent the first half of my life being told to just Be The Bigger Person in every situation and therefore I have now completely burned out on that, so fuck you it's now goblin hours forever

beauty finds a way

I'm so fascinated by languages with different levels of formality built in because it immediately introduces such complex social dynamics. The social distance between people is palpable when it's built right into the language, in a way it's not really palpable in English.

So for example. I speak Spanish, and i was taught to address everyone formally unless specifically invited otherwise. People explained to me that "usted" was formal, for use with strangers, bosses, and other people you respect or are distant from, while "tú" is used most often between family and good friends.

That's pretty straightforward, but it gets interesting when you see people using "tú" as a form of address for flirting with strangers, or for picking a fight or intimidating someone. In other languages I've sometimes heard people switch to formal address with partners, friends or family to show when they are upset. That's just so interesting! You're indicating social and emotional space and hierarchy just in the words you choose to address the other person as "you"!!

Not to mention the "what form of address should I use for you...?" conversation which, idk how other people feel about it, but to me it always felt awkward as heck, like a DTR but with someone you're only just becoming comfortable with. "You can use tú with me" always felt... Weirdly intimate? Like, i am comfortable around you, i consider you a friend. Like what a vulnerable thing to say to a person. (That's probably also just a function of how i was strictly told to use formal address when i was learning. Maybe others don't feel so weird about it?)

And if you aren't going to have a conversation about it and you're just going to switch, how do you know when? If you switch too soon it might feel overly familiar and pushy but if you don't switch soon enough you might seem cold??? It's so interesting.

Anyway. As an English-speaking American (even if i can speak a bit of Spanish), i feel like i just don't have a sense for social distance and hierarchy, really, simply because there isn't really language for it in my mother tongue. The fact that others can be keenly aware of that all the time just because they have words to describe it blows my mind!