“As They Become Known And Accepted To Ourselves, Our Feelings, And The Honest Exploration Of Them,

i-D

The Elevator Issue, no. 191, October 1999

“If you will grant me one vivid morning, I can chain it to me for fifty years.”

— William Stafford, from Sound of the Ax: Aphorisms and Poems, eds. Vincent Wixon and Paul Merchant (University of Pittsburg Press, 2014)

just… learn to change the oil in your car, know how to darn a hole in your favorite sweater, take no for an answer sometimes, accept when you don’t know something, think critically, discern when to stand up for yourself and when to back down, possess integrity, hold yourself gracefully, be comfortable w eating alone and even more comfortable w being put in awkward positions, develop rituals and habits, observe as much as but hopefully more than you judge, talk freely but listen actively, if you offer unsolicited advice be willing to also receive it, apologize for interrupting I don’t care if you grew up culturally doing that it’s respectful to maintain awareness of the world you weren’t raised in, shop w a grocery list rather than by the seat of your pants, pick your friends up from and drop them off at the airport, have hobbies that hone your craft, speaking of honing your craft: take your creativity seriously by continuously challenging and sharpening it, this one can be endlessly trying but working to cultivate a healthy relationship w what troubles you rather than resorting to castigating yourself upon approaching that which is unfamiliar, never show up empty handed to someone’s home for the first time, and help them clean up at the end of the evening, but leave as soon as you start wanting to go home so you don’t tinge the otherwise enjoyable time you had w irritation, date yourself, do the dishes before bed, also make your bed every morning, and clean parts of your home everyday, always seek knowledge beyond traditional education, move your body as much as it allows so you may sustain some sort of secure relationship w it as you age, judge the capacity as much as you do the intent, have a curiosity-driven mindset, know that you and the world you live in are mutable, value different perspectives but remain steadfast in your principals and beliefs, write by hand as much as you type, take initiative without prompting, seek help when and where necessary, learn to be financially literate, have friends who are significantly older than you (some of my dearest friends are in their 50s and 70s), learn from failures and setbacks by acknowledging and growing beyond your limitations, be the friend you wish(ed) you had by building and maintaining meaningful connections, embrace opportunities for personal and professional growth, recognize both the importance of compromise and when to choose discord over maintaining the peace, express gratitude regularly

@daze-like-this

the handmaiden, (Unnamed) by me, moonlight, come into the water by mitski, the handmaiden, once more to see you by mitski

Merata: How Mum Decolonised the Screen (2018) directed by Heperi Mita

“I whet my lips to speak your name. To kiss your hands, curling into the posture of prayer, they could almost have been carved from stone. I swear: If idolatry was my only sin, then it’s because god wasn’t watching.”

— Torrin A. Greathouse, from “Ekphrasis on Nude Selfie as Portrait of San Sebastian,” Poetry (vol. 221, no. 2, November 2022)

I don’t have a guidebook for love. One day it’s a flower I wear on my jacket, on another, it’s a dagger hidden in our bed, on another, it’s a flame that sears. Still, on another, it’s a sugar cube dissolving sweetly on my tongue.

Nizar Qabbani, tr. by Nayef al-Kalali, from Republic of Love: Selected Poems; “Give Me Love, Turn Me Green”

Hanif Abdurraqib, A Little Devil in America: Notes in Praise of Black Performance

“No wonder I am mesmerized by your tongues’ small fires glowing with desire.”

— M.J. Iuppa, from “Marigolds,” Amethyst Review (2022)