HAPPY HOPS

Nightmare part 2 (Part one here)

Dont repost anywhere online or print reblog snd feedbacks are welcome.

Warningw are angst a whole lotta angst steve thinking the reader(female wanted to hurt herself she doesnt) Steve being a Shmuck and thick headed. Steve completely missing the points.. so hes basically acting like a man lol

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"It wasn't that,"   I paused.  Trying to figure out how to expain this to Sam in this "counciling session" I know steves job. I qlways knew it and it wasn't  that. I wouldn't have even dated him if that was an issue. I mean it's  sorta like being a cop but he comes back to me dirty and bloody its not even the dirt. Its the blood. Like ," I paused and its his blood. Its not like he says its not my blood. He just i hate seeing him covered in blood walking around like it's....paint from working at a preschool with kids. And the way he treats me. I felt like he more or less pushed valium on me. I mean i know if I had said no he would've gone ok but then listed why I shud take it Nd hiw itll help make me feel better. Like I just give in not wanting the conversation because its not the conversation I want to have with him even this he just told you he didn't  talk to me first rhat you should talk to sam hes a counselor or talk to someone like he thought I was going to kill myself and this is hw he handles it. Know I know why he goes through girlfriends. Man doesn't freaking talk." Sam just kinda stared at me listening and nodding. "God I'm sorry Sam," I dropped my shoulder and put my head in my hands. "I know you and Steve are best friends and I dont mean to talk about your best friends like that it's just frustrating. I feel like we're  playing a game of freaking telephone i say something he tell you then you tell me theen I tell tou and you'll tell him and then hell talk to me i mean it's  just." I was getting frustratingly upset.... if that's even a word. "Hold up. First I'm  not going to tell Steve shit. As far as I'm concerned  this session is between you qnd me. You could tell me you killed someone and I'd  say nothing ok. And secondly. You're  right. Steve should have talked to you. And he never shohld pressure you to take meds. The dude's intense. If you feel like you need to give in to him or else. It's not healthy. Look I love Steve like you said he's  my best friend and as much as I... your relationship isn't  just about him. It's about you too. And if you can't  handle it you can't  no one will blame you or fault you. Especially Steve.

"Sam you dont get it. He." I swollow  "I mean we're living togeather. I thought it was fast. But I'd felt so happy around him and I thought I wanted that all the time but it's it's  not like that." "Did you tell him how you feel?" "Oh yea sam that make sense. How many hydra ya kill save any  hotigaes by the way btween you relaxing for 12 hours mission deprefeffibg and then the next brief  and sleeping and eating cause you you leave again in two days need to tell you you gotta talk to me diffrent. Bye have fun.' When do I talk to him?"

"You need to look I know Steve he doesn't want yiu to be unhaply. He's  doing what he thinks is good for you. But if its not you need to tell him."

"How. Can he join us? Like here come to one?" Sam sat up to tell her no. "Well I-" "Friday where is Steve?" "Captain Rogers is in the gym." "Can you have him come up to meet me and Sam?"

Sam watched as Steve entered the room and  she started to shrink a bit. Her shoulders dripped a little she curled up a bit. Even after Steve gave her a kiss. Before sitting on the couch across from Sam.  "What the hell is going on here?" He thought. The strong girl who insisted Steve come dissapeared. "How's  it going? How do you feel babe?" While Steve had his hand on her leg and looked at her briefly he immediately looked at Sam.  She watched the scene. Sam gestured to her. She looked at Sam, "Go on" "Steve, wa-" she took a deep breath looking at the floor. "Why didn't  you talk to me and go right to Sam?" "Well you said-" "Im not suicidal. I was talking about us. I-" she paused and sighed, "I dont think I can do," she took a breath "us anymore. You didn't even think to talk to me? And you just." She looked at Steve and he was just taking in the information. And trying not to show how hurt he is. Another girlfriend leaving. "Steve you, you just. I felt like you forced the valium on me and didnt give me a chance to think. And everytime I say no it's  an argument and its besides the fact that it woudir wouldnt help. I just felt like I had to give in. I had to take it. But this Steve?" She gestured. "This is  beyond ridiculous. And you don't get it don't get how... isolating things can get either I everyone hates me the agents treat me like a, I dont know and, your teemates?" she finally turned and looked up at Steve  and sighed,  "I mea. Minus Sam I- Steve no on wants me here." She starts to tear up. "That's not true." "Steve you don't  see it. "The other agents just stop talking when I'm around. Someone told me your other girlfriends got agents in trouble and on desk duty so they're scared me of me practically or mad I don't know all I know if I'm universally ignored... by everyone." Steve opened his moutb to say something but she continued, "And the rest of your "team mates"," she used air quotes, " the avengers. I see how they look at me. Tony side eying me, Nat is constantly sizing me up. I know Bruce is quiet anyway and Clints been nice but I haven't really seen him. Haven't met Thor so..." She leaned back and crossed her arms with a huff. "Well I-" Steve didnt know what to say. His eyes were blinking.  The only thought  that he had was- "So that's it its over?" She rolled her eyes, "That's what you took from the whloe thing is that we're over?"

She rolled her eyes, "That's what you took from the whle thing is that we're over?" "Well yes." His eyes were wide unable to understand why she didnt understand his concern was for her to be with her fuck the of the team, screw the other agents. He wanted her to stay. Her mouth dropped open in disbelief. And Sam could see she was getting angry and Steve was missing the points. "Ok lets take a breather. Steve she was saying that she feels alone not welcome which we can address with the team later. But, did you hear what she said about what you did by comming to me?" "Yea that she meant it was us and not her." "So you 100% thought she was going to harm herself?" "Yes I -I mean she never..." "Never what Steve?" "Never said she was unhappy with us and  when I heard her say she couldnt do it anymore I was scared terrified that I'd  come back one day and find her on the floor. I've" Steve turned to her, took her hand which she allowed. He moved towards her and caressed her cheek. "I've lost so many people. I've  lost so many soilders or have had them wounded and then now agents get hurt and we lost them sometimes, I lose them but I can't lose you.  And the thought of you being scared snd unhappy to the point where youd end you was terrifing. Morr than anything.  Friday wouldn't know if you took a razor or too many pills. And I'd walk in from a mission and find you gone id never be able to forgive myself. So the first thing I thought was to get you help and I knkw yiu and Sam do get along and he's  my best friend. And I love you." "So you thought shouving a pill down my throat was ok?" "I know Valiums helps people and if yoh were sleeping you couldnt hurt yourself while I was at the briefing. "But Steve if you really thought It was that bad why didn't you talk to me?" "I didn't want to waste any time. Time is too precious to me." She "Then why are you never there?" She wss raising her voice,  "And You thought shoving a pill-" "Lets all just calm down," he turned to Steve,  "Why didn't you ask her what she meant. And she said she feels like you are very well what did you say?" "Distant at time. Forceful and you dont think about me. And you're always gone." Steve for once has no idea what to say. "You're overwheling Steve. It can be too much for me." "How am I overwhelming and always gone?"

It’s that time of year where I rewatch Teen Wolf/The Vampire Diaries/The Originals/Supernatural and feel like Y/N again.

Lmao!! It’s been a minute.

It’s Always Been You

🍎F!reader, pet names: (pip/squeak, my girl, sweetheart,) suggestive but not smut, fluff, hurt/comfort, brief miscommunication and lots of groveling but it works out.🍎

Notes: I struggle with editing. This is totally separate from canon bc I’m heartbroken. It’s also my first lads fic, I’ll ALWAYS be a Sylus girlie but Caleb broke my brain for a minute 😭

Caleb joining the DAA wasn’t the problem at hand…No, it was the fact that you were going to be separated. Spending his last night before he leaves wrapped around each other like you always did when things were tough was the best comfort you could get.

“I’m gonna miss you so much, do you really have to go?” This was going to be the longest you’ve ever been apart since you were kids, and even worse, he wasn’t allowed to have his phone.

This wasn’t any easier on him but he couldn’t just back out. “I’ll be home before you know it, don’t worry too much.” Caleb brushed the hair from your eyes and held you closer, “plus, you get to have six months free of my constant nagging.”

That was absolutely the wrong thing to say, the tears you were holding back finally fell. Your hands that were originally wrapped around his waist were now at his chest, between your bodies and fisted tightly in his shirt. “But I love you and your nagging!” You inhaled like you were suffocating. Perhaps you were, under the weight of his impending absence.

“Shh I know, I love you and being a pain in your ass.” That earned him a wet chuckle. “I swear, as soon as I’m home I’ll fulfill my promise and I won’t leave your side. You’ll never have to worry again, about anything.” A soft kiss to your temple solidified his vow.

It took you a few long moments before you were able to get in a proper breath and process what he said. “You made a promise?”

“Don’t remember? Hm that won’t do. Think back to when you were 18, and that boy you had a crush on rejected you and broke your heart.”

“I’d prefer not to remember that, actually.”

“But remember after? When you still hadn’t come home by dinner and I found you alone at the park?” Large hands ran down the length of your back to help soothe you while he spoke.

You’re still lost but it’s coming back to you. Confessing to your crush in the park was supposed to be perfect— except he not only rejected you, but he made fun of you. You could respect rejection, but the way he humiliated you and made a scene wasn’t something you wanted to think about. “That day was awful.”

“You were so upset. I wanted to beat him to a pulp but you didn’t want to be alone. Remember what I told you? The pinky promise we made? It’s only been four years you know, I’d hope your memory isn’t that bad yet.”

The moment flooded you then with a gasp, ‘You’ll never be alone as long as I live sweetheart, and when it’s time, when I finally graduate and become a pilot, I swear I’ll marry you myself to prove it.’ And at the time it made you giggle, because surely he was just joking to cheer you up, right? “You meant it?”

Caleb chuckled and lifted your chin to look at you directly, “of course I did, it’s always been you and me. Don’t you know that?”

A fresh wave of tears formed as you surged forward to meet his lips with yours- and stopped out of embarrassment before you could make contact. “Sorry, I didn’t- I think I’m just being emotional—”

But the space between you closed once again and before you could overthink it, Caleb was kissing you the way he’s wanted to for years. His lips were all consuming and tender. His palm cupped your face like it was glass and you couldn’t resist running your fingers through his hair. Kissing Caleb felt like home, like everything was right.

He tried to break away to bring you both air but you refused to let him, instead pulling him closer and closer until he was on top of you, spreading your legs to accommodate his size. “Slow- slow down, you still need oxygen.” You shook when he started dragging his kisses down your throat, letting out soft moans when gentle sucks were left behind.

“C-Caleb…”

He pulled back and grew tense as if he was afraid he scared you away, “what’s wrong, you tired?” He was trying to give you an out if you wanted it.

You were certain your cheeks were flushed, you shook your head. “I want… more…”

Caleb groaned and buried his face in your neck “you’re killing me, Pip.”

Had you said something wrong? “Sorry- I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable… I’ll just-” you loosened your arms from around him, thinking you somehow embarrassed yourself yet again.

He stopped you. “You’re not going anywhere, sweetheart. You’re killing me because you have no idea how badly I want you; how long I’ve wanted you.”

“Really?” Having someone like Caleb love you was the best feeling, but him being attracted to you left you wanting him even more.

Deciding to just show you, he ground his hips into yours. And god, it felt good against you. Just that little bit of contact felt better than anything you ever achieved on your own. “You’re-” hard went unsaid. He grunted when you spread your legs wider for him. “Yeah, I am. And if you want me, then you have me. But you can’t take it back, so if you’re not ready for that commitment…”

“Can I tell you a secret?”

“This really isn’t the time for that—”

“Shut up, it’s important.” He sighed and let you continue. Your arms dropped from his neck to hold his face in your hands, brushing the stray hairs from his face. “That guy I had a crush on? I only liked him so much because he reminded me of you. So I’m yours, too. If you want me, then you can take me.”

Words were lost on him so actions took hold, “are you sure?” His kisses resumed their path after meeting your lips, the room grew hotter with each new brush against your skin.

“I trust you, Caleb,” you had no idea your neck was so sensitive, your gasps talking for you. “but I should let you know I’ve never done this before.”

“I’d kill anyone who ever touched you if you had”

“Isn’t that hypocritical? Should I hunt down your past lovers?” You worked his shirt over his head, the dog tag necklace you gave him mere hours ago dangled in front of your face.

He chuckled and discarded your top, your sleep shorts were next. “It’s funny how you think I’d ever want someone that isn’t you.” His revelation hit you full force: he loves you so deeply, there’s truly no doubt to have. “I’d never do this with anyone else.”

Two things happened that night: your bond was solidified, and unbeknownst to you, a life was created

The goodbye was brutal the next day, already missing him terribly before night fell again.

You managed to fall into a routine, though. You would go to work, occasionally spend time with friends— Tara spent the night with you at least once a week to keep your mind off of things; and the days she didn’t you laid in bed desperately wishing he would be by your side.

Your routine was solid, until a month into your separation when you were sick almost every single day. You were fed up by the time a week passed and the day after that you made your way to visit Zayne- who congratulated you because in his words, ‘he and his wife were expecting as well, perhaps they’ll be friends, too.’ Finding out you were pregnant without Caleb with you was difficult, there wasn’t a way to reach him and share the news.

But you weren’t alone anymore. You spent the time you felt lonely talking to your baby now, who definitely couldn’t hear you yet but that didn’t matter. You were kept company with a perfect blend of you and your Caleb.

According to the official statement released last week Caleb would be home any time today, any minute, any second.

The anticipation left butterflies in your tummy, your baby moving with your nerves. It didn’t occur to you that he might not be happy to be a father, that you might’ve been presumptuous that he’d be ready to care for another life so soon.

And when the door flew open, as much as you wanted to jump into his arms (carefully, of course,) you held your breath and waited for him to notice. And of course, because he was your Caleb, it was right away. His happiness and relief fell away to shock and— was that anger? You didn’t expect anger…

“Welcome home, I—”

“Who else has been here?”

“What? I mean Tara has been keeping me company a few times a week but that’s it.”

“What man has been in our home, pipsqueak.” He didn’t phrase it as a question, just a demand. He’s never been so terse with you…

His tone made you anxious, “No one, other than Zayne and his wife for dinner occasionally— Caleb what are you talking about?”

Caleb dropped his bag on the floor with a thud, still not moving from his spot. “I’m talking about the fact that I came home after six months and you didn’t seem to miss me at all, nothing like the way I missed you. How else would you be pregnant? So who is he? Someone from the Hunters Association?”

Oh… he thought… “Oh my god how could you think- I’d never cheat on you Caleb— EVER how could you even think—”

“Well, I certainly couldn’t have knocked you up in the time I’ve been away.”

A knife cut through you at his words, the accusation, the betrayal of thinking you’d ever be with anyone else. And how vulgar it was… Did your first time mean so little? Was it something he just wanted to get out of the way before he left? A sob escaped you, tears spilled over. “You’re an asshole, Caleb.”

His eyes went wide, “I’m the asshole here?”

“Yes! You’re a fucking asshole! I expected you to be shocked but accusing me of cheating on you? Thinking that night was nothing? That’s low. I can’t believe you!”

“That night means everything to me!”

“Ask me how far along I am! Go on, fucking ask!”

That stopped him short, “you mean?”

“SIX MONTHS!” Standing there while he dropped to his knees was barely satisfying. “God I can’t stand you right now! You must’ve lost your damn mind and all your common sense!”

His silence was angering you further, stomping off to the kitchen for a drink of water and trying to calm down was a better use of your time; crying from this much stress wasn’t good for you.

Once he gathered himself he followed you, “Sweetheart… you’re telling me that night…”

“Finally used your brain, did you?”

“I’m so, god I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” His hand reached out to bring you in for a hug but you denied him.

“Do. Not. Touch me.” His audacity made you seethe. No way were you going to give in so easily no matter how much you desired to be in his embrace and reassured.

“Sweetheart—”

“You’re sleeping on the couch. We can decide what to do later.”

His emotions began to overflow, the guilt crushing him; the ring in his pocket practically burning into his flesh. “Decide what?”

“Decide if I should even let you stay.” Your throat felt tight but you continued to hold your sobs back. “Your dinner is in the oven by the way, it’s your favorite so I suggest you don’t let it burn.”

A few hours rolled around before he couldn’t hold himself back anymore hearing your sniffles. You hadn’t eaten dinner, who knows if you had any water, and no matter how (rightfully) mad you were, you still needed to eat.

Grabbing a few of your favorite snacks with a glass of juice instead of the untouched dinner he put in the fridge was his safest option, unsure if seeing the meal would upset you further.

“Pip squeak? I know you’re awake.” Crouching by your side of the bed and setting the snacks on the nightstand, “please talk to me?”

“Go away.”

“You know I can’t do that, you have to eat something.”

You poked your head from the blanket, “oh so you care now that you know it’s yours?”

The jab was deserved but it still earned a wince. “I’d still care even if they weren’t.”

“How noble of you. Sticking around to raise a kid that’s not yours before I even have a ring.”

“Who said I didn’t have a ring?” This time you accepted the comfort of his hand brushing your hair behind your ear and gently cupping your cheek.

Curiosity was a bitch, but you weren’t ready to forgive him yet. “You were really mean.”

“I know, I’m so sorry, sweetheart. So sorry. I can’t imagine you being with anyone else but I didn’t expect to come home to a family either— and I’m beyond happy to be a dad. It’s not an excuse though, never okay to talk to you like that.”

A few leftover sniffles came before he pulled a tissue from the box on your nightstand, opting to dry your tears himself. “Blow,” He said, holding the tissue to help you blow your nose; then offering you the straw of the juice so you could hydrate.

“I missed you so much, I thought you’d still be happy to see me.”

“I’m over the moon, actually. But I hurt my girl, gotta make things right. Think you can forgive me? I’ll earn it forever.”

“Caleb if you ever, I mean ever, speak to me like that again I won’t hesitate to let you talk to the front door. You’ll be out.”

“I’ll cut my tongue out myself.”

“So dramatic as always.” You rolled your eyes, “you mentioned a ring?”

A smile lifted the corner of his mouth, “there’s my girl. You sure you still want it? Or should I earn it first?” He dug into his pants pocket to show you anyway.

“It wouldn’t hurt your efforts.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle fully before presenting the velvet box to you, “I’m pretty close to the ground but if you sit up for me I’ll get on one knee.”

Sitting up to stretch was good for your back anyway, “I think I’ve waited long enough.”

The velvet box opened and your jaw dropped, “picked it out in Skyhaven. Gideon and I helped the elderly owner of a small shop with some boxes he was struggling with in front of his door. Knew it was perfect right away, gorgeous and one of a kind like you.”

“You’re ridiculous, but I love it.” He slid it on your finger and sealed it with a kiss, and you fell into his arms like you’ve wanted to for the last six months.

Pulling away after many minutes of hugs, ‘I love you’s’ and kisses wasn’t welcomed by you. “Now, how ‘bout some dinner? I don’t think snacks are enough, they were backup. Gotta keep you healthy.”

“Did you like it?”

You were pulled to your feet and carried out of the room. “Didn’t eat without you, sweetheart. Having dinner without you and the baby felt empty.”

“Good. You can reheat it then.” You waited for the perfect moment to drop your bombshell, which happened to be when he was carrying a full glass pitcher of water for the table. “We’re having a daughter, by the way.”

The pitcher fell so fast his evol barely managed to catch it before glass hit the ground. It left you feeling smug.

You couldn’t help but cackle at his shocked spluttering, “A WHAT?”

I’m so flattered, I’ve never had so many people interested or had a taglist this long: @pixelcafe-network @kentochronicles @sashisuslover @lunia-likes-pomegranet @elli4ever @mysssticc @kaemaybae @kamisatoaiko @midiplier @jamseashell @llamabois @boba14 @crimsonspring @angrychinchillanoises @ali-shiii @kazbae95 @ifistoptherain @c-I-stinnett @nephelesthoughts @etherealzi @jjoppees @keithkoganeirl

All divider credits to me @thecutestgrotto

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒅 𝑴𝒆 𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 — they wanted you, they enjoyed the hunt just as much as you enjoyed being chased. You didn't make it easy for them but it only prepared you that life with them wouldn't be easy.

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 — mob!andy barber × fem!reader × mob!lloyd hansen

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 — violence, murder, blood, SMUT; minors dni, threesome, oral, daddy kink/authority kink, praise, degrading, brat taming, spanking, choking, bondage, chase kink – specific things will be mentioned each chapter

𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 — listen I was really trying not to already post this but I hate to! follow @sstanhoe-updates to get notifications everytime I post!!!! Don't scare yourself, these are only the chapters planned so far. Depending how people like the story there will be more 🤷‍♀️ it's as easy as that.

𝒊. 𝒃𝒆 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔

𝒊𝒊. 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕

𝒊𝒊𝒊. 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒂 𝒕𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅

𝒊𝒗. 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒖𝒏𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖

𝒗. 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔𝒏'𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒖𝒔

Klaus mikaelson

Height difference -Nate Jacobs

Warnings: Fluff, issues with height, not proof-read

Summary: You are insecure about your height but got over it with Nate's help. However, some people are still telling you how short and clingy you are.

You always hated your size. A lot of people used to make fun of you just because you were only 5'1 feet. After years of sadness, you finally accepted your height, as long as no one commented on it.

However, those comments were unpreventable since your boyfriend was Nate Jacobs. 6'4 feet tall and quite popular at school and 1'3 feet taller than you.

The whole school was surprised when you two started dating because you were known for your kindness and innocence, and Nate, well, for the opposite. But you never cared. No one got to see the Nate you saw.

Every time you two walked down the hallway, you saw people giggling, making sexual jokes or just staring. You hated it but tried your best to ignore it, just like Nate told you to do.

That was one of many things you loved about Nate. He always tried to stop your overthinking. He knew about your struggle with your height, and always tried his best to show you how awesome it is. Be it in class when he compared your small hand to his big hand or during rough sex when he constantly asked if you were fine.

You were extremely thankful for that and tried your best to support him as much as he supported you. For example, when his anger got the best out of him again, you calmed him down or when he was about to start a fight you pulled him away. No one had the balls to do so, but it was like Nate was down on his knees for you.

Today you watched your boyfriends' football practice again, sitting on one of the benches. You just loved it when you watched him during his practice or cheered for him during his big games.

The only problem was that his teammates always made fun of how clingy you were.

When he was done with practice, you quickly stood up and ran over to him, wrapping your arms around him. He leaned down, giving you a soft kiss.

"We will get wasted tonight. You are coming with us?" One of his teammates interrupted your kiss, slightly glaring at you.

"Sorry, I have to help Y/N with her studies." He shrugged and wrapped his left arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

The guy rolled his eyes, "Of course. I am sure if little Y/N wants you to kiss her ass you would also do it."

Nate let out a humourless chuckle before he let go of your waist, stepping closer to his teammate. "Every time she lays on her stomach, watching TV in just a thong and one of my shirts, I kiss her beautiful ass. I also grab it, squeeze it, and so on. But I am sorry that you don't know how something like that feels."

The guy glared at Nate before looking at you in disgust, "Please, I bet she isn't even good in bed. I also bet you don't even get your dick halfway inside her."

You quickly stepped in, laying your hands on Nate's chest, when you saw the anger in his eyes, "He's not worth it. Please, let us go home."

As his teammate started laughing, Nate quickly took your hand and walked out with you.

"I don't know why I didn't beat the shit out of him. He deserved it. Why do you have so much influence on me?" He asked, cupping your cheeks with his hands.

You looked him in the eyes, offering him one of your brightest smiles, "Because you know that I love you unconditionally and don't just fool around with you."

He kissed you passionately for a few minutes until he pulled away.

----

A week later, you had your PE class in the afternoon while Nate was free, so he decided to wait for you. This time you all should play basketball. You hated it.

The two team captains currently chose their teams, and surprise, you were the last one to be picked. You didn't take it badly because you were just 5'1, and not good at basketball.

"Y/N," the girl who had to pick you, said in annoyance before she turned to the teacher, "Really? Could we maybe play without her?"

The teacher shook her head, and you made your way over to the team.

As the game started, Nate watched you closely. All the time, you were pushed away by others, never got the ball and got ignored. Too bad that at the end you were the one who got to do a free throw.

"Get ready to lose." The leader groaned, as well as the rest of the team.

You looked at the ball in your shaky hands, and just as you were about to throw, you felt two hands on your hips. You turned around, seeing Nate smile down at you before he picked you up. He walked to the basket with you, and you just put the ball into it.

No one dared to say anything, but Nate turned you around, so you faced him and spun you around. Your giggles echoed through the big hall.

He placed you on the ground again, facing the other girls from your PE class, "Next time, you better think twice before saying shit about my girlfriend."

Not even the teacher said anything as Nate pulled you into the locker room, "Change and then we will leave."

"But-" You started but got interrupted by Nate, "No 'but', we will leave, and next time something like that happens, you tell me."

With a big smile, you nodded, happy about the fact you got such a carrying boyfriend.

I have always loved you

pairing: Steve Rogers x plus size reader

warnings: ANGST!! (happy ending) fluff, 18+ MINORS DNI smut (mentions of making love, nothing explicit) insecure reader (body image issues), mentions of trauma, torture, explosion, bruises, serum and drugs. Pre-serum Steve and post-serum Steve.

words: 5.9k

a/n: this is the longest fic I have written. i think i have a thing for angsty fics with happy endings. Also I love pre-serum Steve, he deserves so much appreciation. I got emotional while writing this one. To all people who have body issues, I personally know it’s not easy, remember you are all very beautiful. I really really hope you all like this one.

REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED

DO NOT COPY OR REPOST MY WORK

(made the moodboard and dividers)

“(Y/n)?”

the warmth, the pain, the love, all missing from her face. her stare is blank, like a person without a heart. Steve didn’t think he would ever see her again, he wanted to see her again, to talk to her, to tell her how he felt all these years, how everything seemed incomplete. But now what he sees, it seems worse than his worst nightmares, he wanted to see her but not like this. Not like this.

“Steve!” she calls out for her date who stands up for her in front some bullies. “You think you’re a hero protecting that fatso over there?” a guy laughed as he punched Steve. (Y/n) didn’t know what to do, should she just stand there or go to help Steve. “Tell me skinny boy, getting tired aren’t you?” Steve looked daringly into the eyes of the bully. He spit a little blood that occurred from the bruise near his lips. “I can do this all day”

When they reach her apartment, Steve is accompanied with bruises. He sits down and she prepares to take care of his wounds. She gently, very gently, wipes his bruises and the slightly dried blood with water and applies medicine. “Steve, I really appreciate what you did but you didn’t have to do it, I am used to being called names, I feel so bad.” Her touches are so gentle, feather like, as if she is - “Are you afraid to touch me?” Steve asks her directly. “I-I- don’t wanna hurt you” she avoids his gaze. He places his hand on hers “Is it because of how i look? is it because i am skinny?” he looks a little hurt but nothing he isn’t used to. “No Steve, it’s because I am fat, I don’t wanna hurt you in any way, you are strong, very strong, I just, I know I shouldn’t care about what people say but they say I’ll crush someone or something like that.” she feels stupid but she is insecure. even though this was officially their first date, they had met before when Bucky introduced them, she already likes him, thus she really wants this to work out. “Hey, look at me, trust me I know how it can feel to be a little different, to be someone who doesn’t fit the society’s physical beauty norms. But being different doesn’t make you any less than others, that’s what I try to believe now. you know how I still am trying to join the military even after being rejected because of my size, so in a way I am challenging society and it’s norms. I know very well I am not as strong as a buff man but I know I will work harder than anyone to serve my country.” she looks at him with awe. she is so proud to know this guy. she hesitates a lot but after a minute she quickly gives him a peck on his cheek. she looks away again and blushes a little. “I know this is just the first date but I kind of like you Steve, you’re very kind and nice and- and cute” he cups her face gently and lifts up her chin to meet his gaze. “I like you too (y/n), I honestly can’t believe someone as nice as you can like someone like me, you’re nice and so kind and pretty. You know I would have kissed you right now but unfortunately I have medicine applied on my face.” he chuckles and she laughs. They just sit there holding hands without saying anything. As if they both have found the person they were looking for, who accept them for who they are.

“Steve if you want we can lie down on my bed?” he raises his eyebrows a little and she realizes how her words can be interpreted and blushes. “No I mean - uh I mean we can talk, you have bruises and I thought you will be comfortable- oh god I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I have no other intentions- I-I should stop talking.” Steve can’t help but chuckle at her cuteness, she is adorable. “Yeah I get it, it’s okay, we can do that, I like talking to you, want to get to know you more.” They end up lying beside each other, smiling and talking almost the whole night. The sunlight outside knocking on the windows. They both look outside and realize how long they have been talking, they look at each other and start laughing again.

“Well I guess I should go now.”

“Alright”

Neither of them want this night to end, even though technically the night has ended?

“See you soon on our next date.” Steve says and (y/n) nods with a smile. Just like that they keep on meeting whenever they can, they love spending time with each other, they grow closer and closer. One night, after almost a month since they started dating, (y/n) hears a knock her door.

“Steve?” he comes in with an excited look on his face. “I got a chance, I am joining the army!!” he said with excitement and hugged her. She couldn’t help but smile at Steve’s happiness, she knows how much it means to him, even if she is scared about the whole situation. “(y/n)!! i am going to be a soldier” she smiles softly at him and tries her best to be supportive even she is nervous and scared. “well I guess your dreams came true.” he didn’t miss the hint of fear in her words and expressions. “hey it’s gonna be alright, yeah I know I am not that strong but I’ll learn so much in the army and I will become stronger.” he says as he takes her hands up to his face and plants kisses on them. she smiles as she gently kisses him. Steve blushes a little, he always does when they kiss, they haven’t really moved past kissing and Steve being a gentleman wanted to give her time before taking the next step.

“You’re stronger than you know Steve, I am just worried that you will get too carried on, you will face so many dangerous situations and after all this time I know you won’t lose the chance to jump in front of danger. So yeah I am happy and proud of you but I am also worried about you. And not to sound selfish but I will miss you a lot too.” she looks down as she says the last sentence, she still isn’t sure how much Steve’s feelings have developed but knows about hers, she is pretty serious about him. She doesn’t wanna lose him. “You don’t sound selfish honey, I understand what you are feeling, I will really miss you too and I will try to come back as soon as I can but as you said this has been my dream, to protect my country.” she nods, she respects him and his dreams, she tries to be strong for him still somehow a few treacherous tears sneakily try to fall off her eyes.

Steve wipes off the tears and plants gentle kisses all over her face which makes her cry harder. “honey, look at me. I’ll take care of myself, besides I now have someone waiting for me eh?” she smiles at that. “so when do you leave?” he informs that he has to leave in two days for more than a month. Just two days then gone for a month? her insecurities creep up rapidly. What if he forgets her during this time? she is not the most memorable person anyway, what if he meets someone better, someone prettier? Steve shakes her off her thoughts, literally.

“Anything else on your mind?” she shakes her head to say no. “Can I spend the night here doll?” she loves that nickname so much, maybe just as much as- well. “Yes please”. (Y/n) prepares dinner and Steve keeps looking at her admiringly. He will really miss this, will miss her. After having dinner they go and lie on the bed, remembering the moments of their first date, although they don’t talk much like they did on that day, they just keep holding their hands. Both wanna say so much but afraid of ruining this moment. Steve looks at her and she looks back. He leans in for a kiss. the slow and soft kiss turns passionate, unspoken words being communicated through that kiss. Steve brings her closer and deepens the kiss only pulling apart when they need to breathe. They kiss, pull apart, kiss again, pull apart again, kiss again and again. It feels like neither is ready to let go. Steve moves to kiss her neck, placing small kisses all over her jaw and neck, she traces patterns against his chest. He pauses to look up at her, she is staring at him longingly. “Do you? you want to?” he asks, she nods but a tear slips her eyes, he gently moves on top of her and kisses the tear away. he spends some time appreciating her body with his hands and lips. he softly tugs the end of her dress as if to ask for permission. “Steve, I-I am not beautiful, my body isn’t attractive you won’t like what you see.” Steve can’t imagine a kind person like her not being beautiful. “I am sure you’re beautiful doll, but it’s okay if you don’t wanna do this, there’s no rush.” they both realize suddenly that even if there’s no rush there’s very little time too, what if things go otherwise, is this their only chance? She guides him with her dress. he helps her out of her dress and undresses himself. both of them vulnerable in front of each other, bare and close, as Steve said, they defied society’s beauty norms, yet to both of them the other seemed like the most beautiful person they have ever seen. The whole night they express their feelings in the form of touches and kisses. Steve spends time in making her feel how beautiful she is. They make love in the bed they once laid down talking the whole night. It is intimate and emotional and passionate. Hands intertwined and their bodies too. Living the moment to the fullest, feeling alive after a long time, it’s like they were meant to be, this was meant to be. They live an eternity with each other this night, not wanting to let go, but they know they have to. This night seemed magical, but reality is waiting at the door. When they drift off to sleep, bodies close to each other, they hold each other, unspoken promises being made.

They kiss each other goodbye before it’s time for Steve to leave. “(Y/n), I’ll come back, wait for me okay? I will miss you, I-“ He decides it’s best to not say anything more. She will wait for him, she promises him that, no matter what.

When Steve is injected with the super soldier serum, he becomes a new person for others but he is still the same guy from Brooklyn. the news breaks out about the birth of Captain America and people start rejoicing for a new face of the country. (Y/n) sees the pictures of Steve, sees the effects of the serum, but when she sees his pictures with that smile on his face she knows no matter what he is still the guy from Brooklyn she is in love with. She loves him. Even before the world knew, she knew in her heart that he may not be a perfect soldier but he is a good man.

Captain Steven Grant Rogers soon becomes a sensation, from performing on stage to fighting Hydra bullies in the battlefield, accompanied by his best pal Bucky Barnes, who was the second one to become a super soldier. Yes after Steve, Bucky was given the serum and the two super soldiers fought many wars together. Steve was supposed to be away for one month which turned into more than four months. With all the fame and popularity, (Y/n) wonders how he must feel. So many women want to be with him, beautiful attractive women.

After four months, Steve comes back in town, they have succeeded in an important mission and are now back to celebrate. (Y/n) is so excited to meet him, all this while Steve has not been able to contact her, he was always moving from one place to another, finally she will meet him. She is nervous too, her insecurities getting the best of her. Even if Steve is the same guy she is in love with, what if Steve feels differently? He meets so many beautiful women, women who want to be with him, so what about (y/n)? will she still be beautiful to him, will he still like him? she dresses up nicely to go and meet him, trying her best to look good.

Word on the street is that the soldiers will be at a bar to celebrate. (Y/n) knows that bar, she goes to meet him. She got him a little gift, nothing expensive, just something with a personal touch, a small pouch for him to use with the letters S G R engraved.

There he is, having a drink with Bucky and his team. Even if he is all bulky now, his smile reminds (y/n) of the old days, when he used to hold her hand and flash that beautiful smile at her. He hasn’t seen her yet though, busy drinking and laughing with his friends. She giggles at the sight, she is so happy for him, they finally know his worth which she knew from the first day she got to know him. (Y/n) gradually moves closer to him with a smile on her face.

Steve turns and smiles, but not at her, he hasn’t seen her yet, he smiles at this beautiful brunette wearing a red dress and matching red lipstick. Wow she is gorgeous (y/n) thinks. He gets up to dance with her, they dance slowly but Steve maintains a distance from her, his smile seems polite but not like the one he used to flash at (y/n). (Y/n) tries her best to not think much of it. She waits. Everything is fine. She hopes. As the music stops temporarily, people start moving away from the dance floor, Steve too stops dancing and is about to move when she pulls him close and smashes her lips against his. Pull apart, pull apart, as if an alarm sets off in (y/n)’s brain. Is this really happening? To her shock, to her complete shock, Steve kisses her back, even if just for few seconds before pulling apart. He kisses her back. Is she really that big of a fool to have thought Steve will wait for her? After getting so much attention from beautiful ladies. She cannot control the tears. To make things worse Bucky notices (y/n) and calls her name.

Steve who is taking deep breaths, hears her name and with a swift movement turns to look for her.

There she is, all dressed up, her face accompanied with tears. She turns to leave, already feeling humiliated and stupid. “(Y/n)!!” he yells out. He runs to her, she runs away from him. “(Y/n) wait, please” She looks back, tears not stopping, “It’s not what you think it is, I know it looks bad, I am sorry please let me-“ he is interrupted when she raises a hand to stop him. “No Steve, I am sorry for being stupid enough to come here, to think you would still want to see me, I should have understood, so I am sorry for ruining your celebrations, please go in, have fun.” She says in between sobs. “(Y/n) no please, there is nothing going on, she is my senior in the army and I don’t know how and why she kissed me.” Is he really justifying, she saw him kissing her back, she knows how his face moves when Steve kisses, he clearly kissed her back even if for few moments. “But you kissed her back didn’t you? Don’t lie to me at least, you may not like me or care about me but at least respect me. Don’t lie.” she says and steps back when he tries to come close. “I-I am - it was a mistake, a sudden response, I am not justifying it but I am sorry- it means nothing” He tries to move close again but she steps back.

“This is goodbye Steve, or should I say Captain America? May all your dreams come true. I got this for you which probably doesn’t matter now but here, if you feel like using it.” She hands him the wrapped gift. He takes it and before he can say anything, before he can stop her, she runs as fast as she can, with a heavy broken heart. She runs and takes the first left turn into an alley. He is running after her, the gift in his hand. He reaches the alley just seconds after her but she is gone, literally gone no trace of her. He yells out her name on top of his lungs. He runs as fast as he could, but no sign of her.

Steve frantically unwraps her gift.

He finds the pouch with his initial on them, handmade. A note inside the pouch.

I am always proud of you Steve and I am happy for you. This is nothing much but I hope this pouch is useful to you somehow in your new adventures. For the world you may be Captain America, but for me you’re still my sweet Stevie. I love you, wasn’t brave enough to tell you so wrote it down.

Steve starts crying after reading that. How could he mess this up? The girl he loves the most is hurt because of him. To know she loves him too but at what cost? He reaches her home as quickly as possible but she is not there, he can see the dark windows still knocks on the door in hope, but no she is not there. He decides to come back tomorrow.

Tomorrow comes, still no sign of her, she is not home, her neighbors haven’t seen her, her few friends haven’t heard from her. Where is she? How can she vanish out of thin air? A week goes by, he haven’t found her. Steve and Bucky and their friends look for her but she is nowhere to be found.

“Where is she Buck?” Steve asks with tears in his eyes. “Have faith pal, we’ll find her.” They don’t find her. It’s time for them to leave for duty and they haven’t found her. She is missing, no one has heard from her. They have tried everything, took help from whoever they could to find her, still in the dark without any clue. Steve leaves for duty with a heavy heart.

When they take down the Red Skull, Steve and Bucky were on an aircraft filled with weapons to destroy cities. They realize they have to crash it somewhere in the ocean. Steve realizes this is for the best, he doesn’t even have much motivation to go back, the one who was waiting for him is no longer there, god knows where. Bucky too sees no way out and agrees with his friend to crash the aircraft. As promised, together till the end of the line.

When the two super soldiers are discovered from the ice, the world changed once again, and their world changed too. A miracle discovered by S.H.I.E.L.D. They try to fit in this foreign world with the help of their new companions, who were misfits in their own ways. As years passed, the realization of losing his girl grew even stronger on Steve. (Y/n) was the love of his life, the one he hurt and disappointed, the one he lost. Oh how he wanted to go back in time and tell her he loves her. To say how much she means to him. He wanted to see her again, to talk to her, to tell her how he felt all these years, how everything seemed incomplete.

On a particular mission, Steve, Natasha and Peter team up to take down a hydra base. Peter is new to the team but a strong asset. They are almost done with the mission when something exploded. There was dust and fire. Steve looks for his teammates but cannot see them, he uses the comms to contact them but still no use.

He is running to look for them when he is shot on his shoulders from the back, he immediately covers himself with his shield and looks back the the attacker.

The attacker stands their with a gun, in full black attire and masked covering half of the face. He cannot see clearly due to the dust. The attacker fires again and he moves closer, using the shield as a guard. After some swift movements from both of them, the gun and the shield are soon discarded as they engage in a hand to hand combat. Steve can feel the punches of the attacker are meant to kill, not just hurt. He is not one to attack but rather defend. Still to knock out his opponent he throws a solid punch on the face.

His opponent loses balance for a second and the mask is broken. The broken mask now enables Steve to see the face of the attacker. Is he hallucinating? Is the gas poisonous? intoxicating? making him see the unbelievable? Before he can do anything, he is suddenly on the ground as his opponent took the chance to get on top of him and started punching him.

Is this gas so strong? He knows those eyes. That face.

“(Y/n)?”

the warmth, the pain, the love, all missing from her face. her stare is blank, like a person without a heart. Steve didn’t think he would ever see her again. But now what he sees, it seems worse than his worst nightmares, he wanted to see her but not like this. Not like this.

She keeps punching him when suddenly she is hit on the neck by Nat, hard enough to make her unconscious and not kill her. She falls on his chest. It’s her, it’s (y/n), it’s Steve’s (y/n). He knows her touch better than anything. It’s her.

“Steve are you okay?” Nat asks looking at the blood on Steve’s face and shoulder. He doesn’t say anything just keeps looking at the girl on top of him. “Peter, get her off of him and bring her with us, I’ll help Steve.” Everything seems like a faint noise to Steve, he doesn’t register anything his teammates are saying. Too busy figuring out what is going on and staring at (y/n). Only when she is being pulled apart from him by Peter that he speaks, well yells

“Stop!! Don’t hurt her.” Both of them look at Steve. “Steve?” Nat looks confused. “Did you kill her? (Y/n)? (Y/n) can you hear me?” Steve’s words are not very loud or clear, due to the bruises on his face. His teammates give each other confused looks.

“She is unconscious, not dead. Steve do you know her?” This question makes Steve hysteric as he wraps his arms around the unconscious body of (y/n) and starts crying, holding her close, too engrossed to care about the current situation. Gradually Peter and Nat help them both off the ground and Steve still doesn’t say anything to them.

When they come back to the compound, the rest of the avengers take Steve to the infirmary to help him. Bucky is already at the infirmary. Peter is about to take (y/n) away to keep her in a cell, as ordered by Nat when Steve yells again. “Where are you taking her?”

They are all confused and Bucky is taken aback by his friend’s weird behavior. “Pal, what’s wrong?” Steve starts explaining whatever happened. Bucky cannot believe it, he rushes towards the person Steve claimed to be (y/n) to check for himself. He is shocked too, cannot believe what’s happening.

“Okay enough someone tell me what’s happening.” Nat shouts and the rest of the team look at Bucky and Steve. Steve doesn’t talk, just keeps staring at (y/n). Bucky explains why they are shocked, why Steve is behaving like this and who (Y/n) is, or was.

They keep (Y/n) in a room, not a cell, though handcuffed. Since she was fighting for Hydra and attacked Steve. Even though Steve wasn’t happy with the handcuffs, after persuasion from Bucky he gave in. Tony too is shocked to see Steve like this, over these years and after the initial difference in opinion, Tony became a good friend of Steve. Sam has never seen his friend like this before neither has Nat. All of them are worried and from what they hear, all of this seems unbelievable to them.

Bruce looks after (Y/n) to bring her to her senses.

(Y/n) gradually opens her eyes and finds herself handcuffed. She doesn’t speak just tugs at her handcuffed arms. Bucky who is outside, hears the noise and the grunts and rushes in. “(Y/n)? is that you?” She shoots up her to look at the voice, conflicted emotions visible in her eyes. “Where am I? Another hydra base?” Rage visible from her voice, still probably better than that blank face.

Bucky calls for Steve and the rest of the team. Steve rushes towards (y/n). He kneels down in front of the chair she is handcuffed to. “(Y/n)? it’s me Steve!” She looks at him with doubt and without surety. Must be some cheap trick of Hydra, after all these years of constant torture and brain washing, who knows what these monsters are capable of. (y/n) doesn’t say anything just keeps on tugging at the handcuffs. “It’s me (y/n)! don’t you remember me, it’s Steve, your Stevie” she laughs dryly at this, she won’t lie though, after all these years, this face, this name, this person in front of her definitely takes her back to those days. Is her brain betraying her again? Well she can’t be blamed after being a Hydra controlled puppet all this time.

As much as she remembers after being brainwashed so many times, she doesn’t even know how she is conscious now, is this some new drug? she hardly feels controlled anymore, even the pain has dulled down. Are these her memories or someone else’s she wonders. “Well that’s where you are wrong, whoever you are, Steve was never mine.” she almost spits. Steve is taken aback by those words. Is that how she feels? “Steve, she was asking if this a hydra base” Bucky informs, Steve doesn’t know how to react, the worst possibilities of what may have happened racing through his mind.

“Wait,” he says as he runs out of the room and comes back with the pouch she gave him. “Do you remember this? You gave it to me, the night I- the night I messed up, the night you vanished, the night I saw you for the last time.” Tears about to escape from Steve’s eyes. She looks at the pouch, realization strikes her, the few memories she has intact are the ones of Steve, even after Hydra has tried to remove that from her brain, this is the pouch she gave him. She looks up from the pouch and looks at the blue eyed man. Her lips quivering.

“Steve?” He nods frantically. He hugs her. “Remove these handcuffs now” he says after pulling apart. “Steve she maybe lying, we can’t trust her, we don’t know if this is a trick, she maybe dangerous.” Nat says, always the tactful one. “No, she won’t hurt me. You won’t hurt me would you doll?” The nickname still fresh in her mind. But she doesn’t trust herself or others, neither can she promise of not hurting anyone. “I don’t know, I don’t know what I am capable of, what Hydra is capable of.” she starts crying when Steve reaches up to wipe off her tears. “I remember hearing the news once, when Hydra thought I was under control but I wasn’t, for a brief moment, I remember hearing you and Bucky went into the ice and came back, I didn’t trust the news though, I stopped trusting anything and everything a long time ago.”

When (y/n) is composed and decides to trust these people and they too think she can be helpful, she is brought to a sitting area, where all the avengers sit down, Steve beside her, and asks her about everything.

“That night, the night I last time saw Steve was the night I was taken. I remember running away from him and going into an alley. I saw a shadowy person coming at me and after that blank.” She informs, looking at the ground. “When I came back to my senses, I saw the foreign environment and that I was trapped, I was tied up. I started screaming.” She goes on about how some people came in who she had never seen before, they told her she has been abducted and that they will gave her meaningless life a new purpose.

“Close to Captain America aren’t you? well let’s see what information you can give us about him.” She remembers one of them had asked. (Y/n) was told by Hydra that they had observed her since they got to know about Steve becoming Captain America and her little connection with him. They thought she can be an asset hence they took her.

After Red Skull went down they had to relocate everything. Since Captain America had died for the world, they realized (y/n) was completely useless to them. But at cruel times even useless beings can become useful “They tested different serums and drugs on me, I mostly used to stay drugged except for a few times when they needed my true consciousness.” She was trained, tortured, brain washed, the serums somehow didn’t change her physically, which the Hydra superiors were impressed with, her not so impressive body made her almost invisible in front of people. Who will believe that someone who appears as useless as her can be an assassin? They realized even if she cannot become a good assassin she can always be a good test subject, rather test object.

The different serums and drugs have miraculously kept her young and alive, she has been treated as a lab rat. Whenever she was conscious she tries to fight, or escape. No use. She never agreed to do anything for them unless she was mind controlled by Hydra.

Steve cannot imagine the pain and trauma she must have gone through. He wanted to see her again but not at this cost. He gently holds her hand, like he used to before.

“(Y/n) I don’t know what to say, if only I didn’t mess up that day, if only I ran faster after you, I am sorry, for everything.” The team decides it’s best to give them some space. (Y/n) has already given them some information regarding whatever she has discovered about Hydra all this while, she wants to help them in whatever way possible, Hydra has ruined many lives, she wants it to end.

“Hydra abducting me was not your fault.” Steve looks at her.

“You-you said I was never yours, why?”

“Were you?”

“(Y/n) I still am. I have always been yours, I have always loved you. I love you! I was stupid I didn’t say how I felt before but I should have, I wish I could go back to that night and change what happened but it’s not possible, forgive me please, please, I love you, I have missed you every moment, I wished everyday to see you, talk to you, but now that you are here, now that I see you like this, I feel terrible, disgusted and sad, you deserved nothing but love. Even if I am not directly at fault, Hydra took you to get information about me, so yes it is my fault I couldn’t protect you, couldn’t protect the person who means everything to me.”

(Y/n) too cannot believe she is here with Steve again, it feels like a dream, a dream she has seen many times, but this is real. (Y/n) has always loved Steve, still does but now she is scarred both physically and mentally, if she was a misfit in the society before she is even worse now. She suddenly notices his bruised face.

“Your face is bruised and your shoulder, did I?” Steve interrupts her. “Don’t, don’t do that to yourself.” They both have tears in their eyes. She touches his face gently, as always, still afraid she will hurt him, and now she actually has, even if unintentionally. “I am sorry, I wasn’t myself.” Steve nods. “To be honest, I wasn’t myself too, neither on that night when I messed everything up, nor after you were gone, I don’t think I was my real self. Besides I became so focused on being Captain America that I forgot about Steve Rogers to some extent. You were one of the few people who appreciated that little guy from Brooklyn.”

“I still do, Captain. I still appreciate that guy, I’m still in love with that guy.” Steve didn’t waste any time and pulled her in a kiss. She doesn’t remember the last time she receive any form of affection, the kiss made her feel alive, the kiss made him feel alive.

“Wait your face is bruised, you’re hurt” she says pulling apart. “Like on our first date huh?” Steve asks with a smile on his face. She smiles back.

“Can you forgive me?”

“I guess I can.”

“Can you trust me again?”

“Maybe, but I don’t think I can trust myself, I don’t know what they have done with me, I don’t know if I can become my old self again.”

Steve holds her hand tightly. “How about we deal with it together? How about we heal ourselves together?” (y/n) nods and puts her head on his shoulder. They don’t talk, just sit like that, hand in hand.

After sometime Tony comes and finds them sitting together, he is happy to see his friend smiling. He calls the rest of the team. They all find the couple sitting quietly enjoying each other’s company. Bucky has tears in his eyes, his friend is happy again after what feels like an eternity. Nat smiles looking at Steve, so does Sam. The team is happy to finally see their Captain at peace.

Tony clears his throat. “Sorry to interrupt the moment but let’s all have some food. Miss (Y/n) I have arranged a room for you, take some rest after dinner.”

Tony has arranged the room just beside Steve’s. That room has always been empty, maybe it was waiting for her? Just like Steve?

“I love you (y/n)”

“I love you Steve”

They confess their love once again, while walking up to their rooms, hand in hand.

“Good night doll, just call me if you need anything okay?”

“Steve you want to lie down on my bed? We can talk, just talk, I have no other intentions” she says with a smile, remembering their first date. Steve kisses her and they get inside the room without breaking the kiss. “Oh but I do have other intentions doll” he says with a smirk and closes the door.

Scooby and Dean share a sandwich 🥪🫶

Shadows | Masterlist

Summary: When Jensen’s wife suddenly disappears, leaving him alone with their two-year-old daughter, his friends and co-workers band around him to find out what happened and help him raise Mia. His wife’s body is never found, no ransom demand is ever made, and no clues as to her whereabouts ever surface. That is until Jensen has finally moved on with his life and started to heal his little family, and something happens to turn his new world upside down all over again.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Female!Reader (+ More) Rating: 18+ Fic Warnings: Dark Themes, Violence, Emotional Manipulation, and Consent Issues Tags: Alternate Universe, Actor AU, Actor!Jensen, Female!Reader, Jared owns a gym, JDM owns a farm, series, J2 are lifelong besties, everyone lives in Texas, probably some fluff, mystery, deception, smut

Comissioned by: @synmorite! with plotting help from @hoboal87 😈

A/N: This is not a traditional Reader Insert fic. For all intents and purposes, Y/N is an original character like you would find in any novel and the only blank left for you to fill in will be your own name. To that end, the characters of Jensen, Jared and Jeff will also bear minimal resemblance to their namesakes besides physical appearance and some shared personality traits. They are, again, their own original characters that I am basically casting these actors to play, and nothing they do in the story should be considered a reflection on the real men or their character.

A/N 2: There are a lot of twists and turns coming up in this story. To avoid spoilers, the only warnings I’m going to put on the story at this time are Dark Themes, Violence, Emotional Manipulation, and Consent Issues. These will be recurring themes throughout the story, and if any may be problematic for you, please consider carefully if this is the right thing for you to read. You are responsible for your own media consumption.

Live on my website:

Prologue || Chapter 1

Live on Tumblr:

Prologue posting February 7th, 2023

This series will post every Tuesday starting in February. If you want to read 4 weeks ahead of Tumblr, come join my website for early access to Shadows, plus access to a whole library of exclusive fics you won't find posted anywhere else!

She chose me - Did she?

pairing: Charles Leclerc x Lando Norris x femalereader

summary: Charles, Lando and you and unbreakable Trio but what happens when you find out that they both have feeling for you.

warnings: /

(a/n): English is not my native language so this may contain consistency errors, i would really appreciate the corrections but please, be kind. feedback is also appreciated ♡

It all started because of a stupid interview you had with an mega hyped motorsport podcast.

One of them asked you “So Y/n we all know that due to your job as an f1 journalist you are really close to the whole grid. But our listeners would probably like it if you would share who your fav is”

You chuckled at the question, knowing that this question has just one logical answer.

“Oh I could never choose one. I like them all really, they all have different personalities and I really enjoy spending time with them” you said politely.

The podcaster just looked at you and smirked, knowing that they had some proof which 2 drivers you are definitely more around.

“Oh really we have seen you many times around with Charles and Lando. These two are definitely up on your list right? They have also shared that they enjoy having you around or during post race interviews with you.” You laughed at their statement. “Really they said that? Wow I feel so special. Yes ok fine, Lando and Charles are definitely up there” you had to keep your big smile back thinking about them.

In reality Lando, Charles and you were extremely close. You 3 had your own post race traditions and made movies nights after each qualifying.

You liked hanging out with them you would even describe them as your best friends on the grid.

What you didn’t know was that Charles and Lando weren’t actually that close and played friends in front of you. Both being lovesick idiots for you. They both were desperate for your attention. Lando did not hate Charles but he despised the fact that Charles could be a perfect match for you.

Charles thought that Lando would be a good friend for you but he was too childish for you. Charles was convinced that he was the man you wanted.

- present -

You were sitting in Landon’s driver room because he wanted you to wait for him there after practice 1 ended. You scrolled through your phone and read some comments about your interview in the hyped motorsport podcast. Some people shipped you with Lando some said that you and Charles were definitely an endgame. You shook your head with a smile on your face. “Who got you smiling like that darling” a male voice said.

“God Lan you scared me” Lando chuckled at your words. “You didn’t answered my question” he started walking towards you and sat next to you on his couch. He took your phone knowing that you trusted him and he could see what got you smiling. You watched his face and analyzed his reaction.

“ I think they are right” he suddenly said and turned his head to look at you. “About what part? Shipping me and you or that Charles and I would be the perfect endgame” you teased him.

Landos eyes got smaller, jealousy started growing in him. “Don’t do that” you looked into his eyes. They looked like tears were forming. Did that made Lando emotional? His lips were in a tight line. He didn’t dared to speak out his thoughts. I like you y/n please don’t choose Charles.

You started deep in his eyes. Suddenly the room was filled with tension and hot air. You could feel the need to kiss him. Fuck no that wasn’t right, he was your best friend right?

You could answer your thoughts because in the next moment your phone vibrated.

“Yes” you picked it up still haven’t stopped the eye contact.

“Y/n it’s Charles where are you I have to see you mon amour” the monegasque said.

Landos eyes filled with more sadness but instead of saying anything he took your phone and answered Charles for you.

“Yo it’s Lan we will be there in a minute ok bye” and with that he ended the call. “That wasn’t very nice Lan” you laughed. “Who said I have to be nice all the time”

After 5 minutes you found Charles. He tried to overplay the feeling of jealousy that he felt every time when he saw you alone with Lando. “Hey Charlie” you said and hugged him. Charles and Landos eyes met during the hug. Charles smirked knowing that you were the only one that gave Charles that nickname. Landos blood boiled and his face couldn’t cover that he didn’t liked Charles hands on you.

But somehow you were always the only one who didn’t seem to see the behavior of both boys.

After the hug you 3 went to the cafeteria and ate some post race day snacks. Of course the boys choose something more healthier that fitted into their diet.

“I will use the restroom for a second if you’d excuse me” you said and left the boys alone.

“Did you have a great time with her in your driver room?” Charles asked with a raspy voice. Lando laughed because he nodded with a smirk on his face. “You know little Lando in the end it will always be me” Charles said confidently.

“And why would you think that” Lando laid back into his chair. “Because she already chose me” Charles said and emptied his drink.

“Did she?”

a/n: Hey guys long time, no see. I had some busy months but I’m back and had this scenario stuck in my head since the TikTok sound started trending. Hope you like this one xoxo 💋