“Besides, Anyone Can Feel The Way They Want To, Correct? You Don’t Have To Worry About It At All.

*puts on a wizard hat*

<|:)

Before kidnapping Sita, Ravana raped Rambha, Queen of the apsaras, and her husband Nalkuber cursed Ravana that if he ever raped another woman, his head would split in seven. This curse later protected Sita from the worst of Ravana’s torments. So I’d like a fic where Nalkuber goes off on Rama that if Ravana has raped Sita, his curse would have taken effect, and how dare Rama disregard a god’s curse, and what did Rambha suffer for then?

It lingers in Nalkuber’s memory, later; after all is said and done.

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“So, I’ve got a question,” Adam said slowly, in the way Aziraphale had come to quite nearly dread. It meant the boy had been thinking, which was a very good thing, of course; but it also meant the question was likely to be of the uncomfortably acute sort that adults of all kinds, human, angel, or demon as they might be, disliked having to answer. The sort that made one feel rather like, well, Adam, the first one, right after the bite of apple but before he’d found himself a convenient leaf.

Quite precisely, Aziraphale set his book aside and slipped his spectacles from his nose, folding in their temples and tucking them with care into the pocket of his jacket. In the cottage’s kitchen, he could hear Crowley bustling about, putting together the tea things; oh, they could always miracle up an afternoon tea, yes, but Aziraphale did think it was so much nicer to have the real thing. And wasn’t it lovely that Crowley agreed?

He smiled at the boy, who was, after all, not quite exactly human. (Oh, they’d handled the thing with his father, of course, but had anyone taken the mother’s heritage – or even her identity? – into account?) “Yes, Adam?” he prompted.

“Right. Only, you’re an angel, right?” said Adam, his mop of muddy-gold curls flopping over his ears in a way which made Aziraphale’s fingers itch for scissors.

“If that’s your question, young man…” Aziraphale said, trailing off in that slightly forbidding way common to schoolteachers of a certain ilk the world over.

“No. I mean, yes. Sort of?” Adam said. “Only, there’s these magazines, the ones Anathema reads? She lets me read them too, when she’s done with them, and there’s this one that’s all about angels….”

“Ah,” Aziraphale sighed. “You mustn’t believe everything you read just because it’s been written down, Adam,” he said, well aware of the irony. “People do write the most astonishing tosh at times.”

“The magazine said there were sorts of angel,” Adam continued, a bit stubbornly. “What sort are you?”

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Hey all, remember when I said I’d never do another picture-fic because I don’t have photoshop and it’s straight up the devil’s work? Yeah, I lied. 

someone give me validation this took forever 

Discredit - Excerpts from A.Z. Fell and Co.’s Yelp Page 

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#and then crowley came up with something

This is highly alarming

It's a Buffalo calf indeed! Nadia Afgan (Shahana) retweeted a gif in which someone was trying to catch hold and control a Buffalo, so it's actually funnier as you said 😂😂😂

Hey TT! I hope you are doing great. In nava katta, katta= buffalo calf. Love from Pakistan

Oh! Thanks for clarifying! I knew that “katta” meant buffalo (because lol Shahana explained “doobi katta” in the last season) but I thought it also meant something that could be tied and untied (coz BiJaan said “maayke bhej doongi toh, kholti aur baandti rehna apne katte wahaan”) So when they say “nawa katta khul gaya” it actually means that a buffalo calf has been untied and is running free? Lmao that’s even funnier! 🤣🤣🤣

The new-TV-GoodOmens fanon tendency to take Aziraphale’s very-soft presentation as unadorned truth is be/amusing to me. 

He was the angel left to guard one of the Gates to Eden and he did in fact have a flaming sword. He is also the one who WOULD have shot Adam, had Madame Tracy not intervened. 

He is also the angel who’s response to “wait I need to get back to Earth to stop Armageddon” is to do something that clearly SCARED THE SHIT out of the other angels who watched him do it, with a malicious-glee-glint in his eye, who hopped disembodied down to earth, and then floated around to try to find the right place. 

He also, well. Fucked around with Heaven at all. There’s such a thread of comic corporate-absurd involved that it can be easy to miss, but what we’re shown is that the hierarchy of Heaven is just as happy as that of Hell to murder, torture, restrain, make captive and otherwise punish its own in the most horrible ways possible and in fact they’re far more effective at it. They just have a lot of Rules they follow, whereas Hell acts on a whim. 

And there’s Aziraphale running around lying to them and pulling the wool over their eyes and so on. Something which, very clearly, none of those other angels are interested in doing. 

Fundamentally Aziraphale is a stone cold agent of divine wroth. 

He just doesn’t want to be. 

He doesn’t like being like that. He doesn’t like suffering, his own or other people’s. All those times Crowley saves him, it’s important to keep in mind that Aziraphale’s in no more fundamental danger than he is when he loses his corporal form in the bookshop fire: if Crowley hadn’t shown up to save him in the church, for example, all that would have happened is that either a) he would have been discorporated and had to wait in line for a new body (or risk being reassigned) or b) Aziraphale would have had to do something Nasty to the Nazis there in order to save himself that trouble. 

He doesn’t like either of those options! Those are both crappy options. But they’re not existential threats. 

I’m the nice one he snaps when Crowley’s too busy having his Moment over his Bentley to take care of dealing with the soldier. 

Aziraphale doesn’t like having to be cruel, or mean, or scary, or stone cold. He doesn’t enjoy it and given the choice he will in fact choose not to be. 

What Crowley saves him from, over and over again, isn’t actually being killed. 

Because what interests Crowley in him, and we see that, all the way back, is that very first instance of Aziraphale choosing not to be that person. That first time when what Aziraphale was supposed to be was Stern and Frightening and Judgemental and Harsh and Terrifying … . and instead he chose to court potential punishment (and actual existential threat) to give the people he was supposed to Terrify a way to protect themselves from all the scary things. 

Aziraphale doesn’t want to be an instrument of judgement and wrath and what Crowley keeps saving him from is having to be. Crowley condemns the bloodthirsty executioner, so that Aziraphale doesn’t have to; blows up the Nazis so Aziraphale doesn’t have to. 

Lets Aziraphale be the nice one, in fact. 

Which I think is frankly far more fucking adorable. 

But never let it make you think that Aziraphale is the safe one, or the helpless one. 

He’s the one who, when faced with the apparent choice between killing a child and the end of the world, chooses to kill the child. Actually chooses to do it - not just plan, not just talk about, not just contemplate, but do it - and is only saved from having done it by sharing the body of someone who won’t let him. 

Aziraphale is soft and slightly silly and gentle and non-confrontational and all of those things because that’s what he wants to be. He has fought for a long time to get to be that. 

This is important. 

❤❤❤