Ding!

Ding!

Archangels Gabriel and Michael sat glowering at the nearby hovering screen. It was emitting chimes practically nonstop.

13:24:45: [Aziraphale] Moved one (1) plastic cup to trash bin. 13:24:47: [Aziraphale] Moved one (1) cigarette butt to trash bin. 13:24:48: [Aziraphale] Moved one (1) plastic straw to trash bin. 13:24:49: [Aziraphale] Moved one (1) styrofoam container to trash bin. 13:24:52: [Aziraphale] Moved one (1) left sock to trash bin.

“Why doesn’t he just miracle all of them in at once?” Michael asked in frustration.

“You damn well know why,” Gabriel muttered. Ever since that horrifying day that Aziraphale stood in a column of demonfire and then belched out a gout of it at them, it seemed that he was going out of his way to just piss off the management with incessant spam.

Gabriel sighed in relief when he saw that the onslaught of messages stopped for a bit. “Anyway. I was thinking that if we do want to arrange for the Big One™, we might want to–”

Ding!

13:25:49: [Aziraphale] Removed one (1) Swastika graffiti.

Michael glanced at the screen. Then she shrugged and shared a nod with Gabriel. “Fair.”

“… we might want to have you get a few more ‘contacts’ in low places, if you know what I mean,” Gabriel continued.

Michael took a breath to respond.

Ding!

13:25:58: [Aziraphale] Applied one (1) graffiti reading ‘Gabriel <3 Beelzebub.’

Michael stared at Gabriel, her eyebrows twitching up questioningly.

Gabriel shifted uncomfortably in his chair, “… well, now he’s just being petty. Come on, Aziraphale.”

Michael decided to ignore it and move on, “I may be able to make some arrangements. Even if the holy water didn’t work out as planned, the exchange was still marked as satisfactory…”

Ding!

13:26:15: [Aziraphale] Applied one (1) graffiti reading ‘Gabriel = Gross Matter.’

The two archangels scowled at the readout. “Something needs to be done about him,” Michael said.

Gabriel raised his eyebrows in a doubtful look. “Soooo… you saying you wanna be the one to confront him about it?”

Michael sat quietly for a moment, glancing aside nervously as she recalled the image of Aziraphale’s gleeful, hellfire-engulfed features.

“… on second thought, we have better things to do,” she murmured.

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! …

13:26:49: [Aziraphale] Created one (1) grain of rice. 13:26:50: [Aziraphale] Created one (1) grain of rice. 13:26:51: [Aziraphale] Created one (1) grain of rice. 13:26:52: [Aziraphale] Created one (1) grain of rice. 13:26:53: [Aziraphale] Created one (1) grain of rice. 13:26:54: [Aziraphale] Created one (1) grain of rice. …

More Posts from Kaanha-ki-barkat and Others

5 years ago

Rama and Krishna trading places

for @medhasree

“You killed him,” says one of Kaliya’s wives in a voice devoid of all feeling, even as her husband sinks deeper into the waters of the Yamuna. “He was poisoning our waters, and the very air we breathe,” Balarama says, even as his heart yearns after the greatest part of him lying coiled at the edge of the universe. Almost he could slip into the waters himself and, unaffected, slip his arms around his kinswomen to comfort them. Rama, on the banks, cleans his arrows and slips them into a quiver comically big for him, and says, “I killed him, as I kill all monsters who trouble my people.” “We are ourselves everywhere hunted by Garuda,”another wife protests. “If you retaliate by poisoning mortals, you turn from victims to villains yourself. Betake yourselves to Ramanaka Island, and live unharmed.”

“I would love nothing more,” Krishna reassures Surpanakha, “for I cannot remember when last I saw a woman so divinely lovely, bedecked in all the treasures the world can offer and yet needing none to add to her own beauty.” The rakshasi pauses, and the following smile has a distinct gleam of fangs. “You flatter masterfully, mortal, but I can hear a lie. You would love nothing more, yet surely you will find a reason to refuse me.” “I would love nothing more,” Krishna repeats, “but I have a wife already.” “An obstacle easily removed,” Surpanakha suggests, grinning wider than her slender face should allow. Lakshmana springs to his feet, outraged, but then sits again, arrow unnocked, at Krishna’s amused gesture. “But if you kill her I would mourn a hundred summers and scarcely be in a mood for love. You are far too intelligent to think otherwise.” “Since when do mortal men limit themselves to a single wife?” the rakshasi queries. Krishna grins back at her, sunny and careless. “My own father has three queens, and the jealousy of one has brought us to this forest. So I cannot take you for a wife unless you renounce your royal life and live with us as a mendicant, for to do otherwise would cause resentment in my wife. Yet I cannot ask you to sacrifice your life and all its many enjoyments to live with us as my wife does, for that would anger you. You see my dilemma?” “I… yes,” says Surpanakha. “I will have your brother then, if I cannot have you.” “You could marry him,” Krishna allows. “But he is sworn to celibacy, so I would not advise it for one so given to pleasure as you are, O sensuous one.”

“Of course we will fight for you, with all the might Dwaraka has,” Rama assures the Pandavas. “I could hardly do less when my kinsmen are offered insult, and one I have long called a sister.” “One might argue,” says Prince Satyajit, “that it was Yudhishtira who offered insult to our sister, by waging her as he might his slaves.” It is the position Panchal has been taking on the matter, Panchali not excepted, and even Yudhishtira has grown inured enough to offer no ,ore than a tired flinch. “If he were playing against an honourable man, such a wager would not have been accepted, any more than you would trust a drunkard with your beloved child,” Rama says. “It makes no matter; we go to war not for petty faults, but because of dharma and adharma.” “Then must we wait,” Draupadi asks, “while the world grows heavy with adharma? What keeps us from war this instant?” “A vow binds you,” Rama reminds her, gentle and inexorable as a god. “But it does not bind us,” Satyajit points out. Rama’s answering laugh lights up the day, shakes birds from the trees.

Krishna is the one who fetches his wife from the Asoka grove, swings her off her feet laughing, kisses the tears from her eyes, and tells her, “I know this will be difficult for you after all our years in seclusion, but we must do it for the army, and to stifle any rumours before they raise their heads.” In front of the army he embraces her again, this time a conquering hero and not a relieved husband, and says in the voice that massed regiments can hear in the din of battle, “Now is my life lit up again, with Janaka’s chaste daughter in my arms. All my war has been but for this, that I may have my wife by my side once more.”

6 years ago

So, I started watching the kids’ show “Just Add Magic” on Amazon Video last night. Something about it is so compelling.

It’s very much a kids’ show.

Three 7th graders acquire a magic cookbook. Shenanigans ensue. (There’s also a kid with a “food bike” until he can get a food truck, and he doesn’t need magic to cook awesome things.)

In the background, there are all sorts of adults having their own problems, a plot with a spell-trapped grandma that’s a metaphor for living with a senile relative, and a guest appearance by Mira Furlan (who played Delenn in Babylon 5 and basically plays Delenn in this show too).

Is anyone else watching this? Or am I the odd adult out?

5 years ago
It’s A Super Short Scene In The Show But It Says So Much. Crowley Never Does Anything That Really Harms
It’s A Super Short Scene In The Show But It Says So Much. Crowley Never Does Anything That Really Harms
It’s A Super Short Scene In The Show But It Says So Much. Crowley Never Does Anything That Really Harms
It’s A Super Short Scene In The Show But It Says So Much. Crowley Never Does Anything That Really Harms

it’s a super short scene in the show but it says so much. crowley never does anything that really harms anyone (see: paintballs & pennies & phone lines), little of it is cruel in the ways that humans can be cruel — which makes it even more meaningful that he chooses humanity in the end. sure, he needs to drink for days to deal with it, but when he’s sober again, he stays


Tags
5 years ago

When New Yorkers hear a violin 🤣🤣🕺🏾🔥

6 years ago
There Are So Many Unintended Consequences To Well-intentioned Actions. It Feels Like A Game You Can’t
There Are So Many Unintended Consequences To Well-intentioned Actions. It Feels Like A Game You Can’t
There Are So Many Unintended Consequences To Well-intentioned Actions. It Feels Like A Game You Can’t
There Are So Many Unintended Consequences To Well-intentioned Actions. It Feels Like A Game You Can’t
There Are So Many Unintended Consequences To Well-intentioned Actions. It Feels Like A Game You Can’t
There Are So Many Unintended Consequences To Well-intentioned Actions. It Feels Like A Game You Can’t
There Are So Many Unintended Consequences To Well-intentioned Actions. It Feels Like A Game You Can’t
There Are So Many Unintended Consequences To Well-intentioned Actions. It Feels Like A Game You Can’t
There Are So Many Unintended Consequences To Well-intentioned Actions. It Feels Like A Game You Can’t
There Are So Many Unintended Consequences To Well-intentioned Actions. It Feels Like A Game You Can’t

There are so many unintended consequences to well-intentioned actions. It feels like a game you can’t win.


Tags
6 years ago

#justaddmagic #ThisSeriesIsAwesome

Miss silvers is my favorite character.. I have a weakness for grumpy old women with a secret soft side

5 years ago

If you and your partner practice frequent, non-sexual consent, your relationship will be healthier and easier.

“Are you comfortable with me ranting about my day for a few minutes?”

“Oh, this is your poetry? Would it be okay if I read it?”

“Do you mind if I use your phone for a few minutes?”

“Wow, your meal looks awesome. Could I try some?”

It will save a lot of grief, especially in a developing relationship. Eventually, with consistent “yes’s” and “no’s” you can figure out more permanent boundaries and guidelines.

“I need to ask before ranting about my day or taking their food, but my partner is okay with me using their phone whenever. However, my partner does not like me reading their poetry unless they offer first.”

6 years ago

i ate chef boyardee and began to cry bro that shit was so bad… i had noodles i could have eaten those

5 years ago

Crowley, teaching Aziraphale to drive: Okay, so you’re driving and Gabriel and Michael walk onto the road. Quick, what do you hit?

Aziraphale: Oh definitely Gabriel

Crowley, sighing: The brakes, angel. You hit the brakes.

Loading...
End of content
No more pages to load
  • notgonnapost4
    notgonnapost4 reblogged this · 5 months ago
  • notgonnapost4
    notgonnapost4 liked this · 5 months ago
  • icelandnightmare
    icelandnightmare liked this · 8 months ago
  • passmetheecclescakes
    passmetheecclescakes reblogged this · 8 months ago
  • ben-t-ley
    ben-t-ley liked this · 8 months ago
  • bloghyperfixes
    bloghyperfixes liked this · 9 months ago
  • zo3mbie
    zo3mbie liked this · 9 months ago
  • prangthari
    prangthari liked this · 10 months ago
  • unlawfulsp00n
    unlawfulsp00n reblogged this · 11 months ago
  • unlawfulsp00n
    unlawfulsp00n liked this · 11 months ago
  • kookoo-bananas-for-gomens
    kookoo-bananas-for-gomens liked this · 1 year ago
  • alittlebitonfire
    alittlebitonfire reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • alittlebitonfire
    alittlebitonfire liked this · 1 year ago
  • delicatefriends
    delicatefriends reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • fireamd
    fireamd liked this · 1 year ago
  • unreasonable-keysmash
    unreasonable-keysmash liked this · 1 year ago
  • mswhitedragon
    mswhitedragon reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • mswhitedragon
    mswhitedragon liked this · 1 year ago
  • seren-magic
    seren-magic liked this · 1 year ago
  • wannabe-homebrewer
    wannabe-homebrewer reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • peacockcoquette
    peacockcoquette liked this · 1 year ago
  • cuetheviolins
    cuetheviolins reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • lesbean-omens
    lesbean-omens reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • ellidimple
    ellidimple reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • alittlebitonfire
    alittlebitonfire reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • blobsky
    blobsky liked this · 1 year ago
  • technicallysweetvoid
    technicallysweetvoid liked this · 1 year ago
  • kyziracrow
    kyziracrow reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • kyziracrow
    kyziracrow liked this · 1 year ago
  • aster-daydream404
    aster-daydream404 liked this · 1 year ago
  • galletadechocolate
    galletadechocolate liked this · 1 year ago
  • fernsaviour
    fernsaviour liked this · 1 year ago
  • avery-victoria-winterlight
    avery-victoria-winterlight liked this · 1 year ago
  • whimhabit
    whimhabit liked this · 1 year ago
  • prutske
    prutske liked this · 1 year ago
  • letho-logica
    letho-logica liked this · 1 year ago
  • imnotacreepijustlikeyou
    imnotacreepijustlikeyou reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • imnotacreepijustlikeyou
    imnotacreepijustlikeyou liked this · 1 year ago
  • berrypaints
    berrypaints reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • berrypaints
    berrypaints liked this · 1 year ago
  • mochimidnight
    mochimidnight reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • most-normal-eccles-cake-ignorer
    most-normal-eccles-cake-ignorer liked this · 1 year ago
  • dagonmasteroftorments
    dagonmasteroftorments liked this · 1 year ago
  • orago-underline
    orago-underline liked this · 1 year ago
  • purpleplanttea
    purpleplanttea reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • jelly-of-many-ships
    jelly-of-many-ships liked this · 1 year ago
  • bernicebobsherhair
    bernicebobsherhair reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • tman112502
    tman112502 liked this · 1 year ago
  • queer4cryptids
    queer4cryptids reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • curiouswriterkr
    curiouswriterkr liked this · 1 year ago
kaanha-ki-barkat - There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart.
There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart.

227 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags