Heh *casts RUDE Spells On You*

why arent they married yet

Rama and Krishna trading places

for @medhasree

“You killed him,” says one of Kaliya’s wives in a voice devoid of all feeling, even as her husband sinks deeper into the waters of the Yamuna. “He was poisoning our waters, and the very air we breathe,” Balarama says, even as his heart yearns after the greatest part of him lying coiled at the edge of the universe. Almost he could slip into the waters himself and, unaffected, slip his arms around his kinswomen to comfort them. Rama, on the banks, cleans his arrows and slips them into a quiver comically big for him, and says, “I killed him, as I kill all monsters who trouble my people.” “We are ourselves everywhere hunted by Garuda,”another wife protests. “If you retaliate by poisoning mortals, you turn from victims to villains yourself. Betake yourselves to Ramanaka Island, and live unharmed.”

“I would love nothing more,” Krishna reassures Surpanakha, “for I cannot remember when last I saw a woman so divinely lovely, bedecked in all the treasures the world can offer and yet needing none to add to her own beauty.” The rakshasi pauses, and the following smile has a distinct gleam of fangs. “You flatter masterfully, mortal, but I can hear a lie. You would love nothing more, yet surely you will find a reason to refuse me.” “I would love nothing more,” Krishna repeats, “but I have a wife already.” “An obstacle easily removed,” Surpanakha suggests, grinning wider than her slender face should allow. Lakshmana springs to his feet, outraged, but then sits again, arrow unnocked, at Krishna’s amused gesture. “But if you kill her I would mourn a hundred summers and scarcely be in a mood for love. You are far too intelligent to think otherwise.” “Since when do mortal men limit themselves to a single wife?” the rakshasi queries. Krishna grins back at her, sunny and careless. “My own father has three queens, and the jealousy of one has brought us to this forest. So I cannot take you for a wife unless you renounce your royal life and live with us as a mendicant, for to do otherwise would cause resentment in my wife. Yet I cannot ask you to sacrifice your life and all its many enjoyments to live with us as my wife does, for that would anger you. You see my dilemma?” “I… yes,” says Surpanakha. “I will have your brother then, if I cannot have you.” “You could marry him,” Krishna allows. “But he is sworn to celibacy, so I would not advise it for one so given to pleasure as you are, O sensuous one.”

“Of course we will fight for you, with all the might Dwaraka has,” Rama assures the Pandavas. “I could hardly do less when my kinsmen are offered insult, and one I have long called a sister.” “One might argue,” says Prince Satyajit, “that it was Yudhishtira who offered insult to our sister, by waging her as he might his slaves.” It is the position Panchal has been taking on the matter, Panchali not excepted, and even Yudhishtira has grown inured enough to offer no ,ore than a tired flinch. “If he were playing against an honourable man, such a wager would not have been accepted, any more than you would trust a drunkard with your beloved child,” Rama says. “It makes no matter; we go to war not for petty faults, but because of dharma and adharma.” “Then must we wait,” Draupadi asks, “while the world grows heavy with adharma? What keeps us from war this instant?” “A vow binds you,” Rama reminds her, gentle and inexorable as a god. “But it does not bind us,” Satyajit points out. Rama’s answering laugh lights up the day, shakes birds from the trees.

Krishna is the one who fetches his wife from the Asoka grove, swings her off her feet laughing, kisses the tears from her eyes, and tells her, “I know this will be difficult for you after all our years in seclusion, but we must do it for the army, and to stifle any rumours before they raise their heads.” In front of the army he embraces her again, this time a conquering hero and not a relieved husband, and says in the voice that massed regiments can hear in the din of battle, “Now is my life lit up again, with Janaka’s chaste daughter in my arms. All my war has been but for this, that I may have my wife by my side once more.”

Aziraphale, hanging out on Noah’s Ark watching the flood waters rise. Hears a noise down in the hull and goes to investigate.

Finds Crowley stowed away in the hull along with several hundred Mesopotamian children ranging in age from infants to late teens.

Crowley, in the middle of passing around a bread basket that endlessly refills itself, looks up like a deer in headlights. “Okay, I can explain this…”

—Later that day—

Crowley, while bottle feeding one of the infants: I mean clearly the Almighty wants these children dead, what with their capacity for evil and stuff, so by saving them all, I’m actually going against the Ineffable Plan.

Aziraphale, hiding a smile: Right. Makes perfect sense.

Crowley: I’m being very evil here.

Aziraphale: Of course you are.

Crowley: …you’re not about to throw them all overboard, are you? Because I will fight you.

Aziraphale: Oh, no. You’ve clearly outwitted me this time. I must accept my defeat with grace. And Noah has enough on his plate with the animals, I shouldn’t burden him with this. You’ve won this round, wily serpent.

Crowley, getting choked up: Y-Yes, that’s right. I’m very wily. And evil. Don’t forget that.

I feel like you’ll appreciate this photo I took several years ago when I was in school of a raven getting spooked by something in the bushes

it’s a super short scene in the show but it says so much. crowley never does anything that really harms anyone (see: paintballs & pennies & phone lines), little of it is cruel in the ways that humans can be cruel — which makes it even more meaningful that he chooses humanity in the end. sure, he needs to drink for days to deal with it, but when he’s sober again, he stays

This is sooo cute!

Aziraphale: *does anything* Crowley: *is fond*

Just watched Good Omens. Very gay. Has witchcraft. Spits in the face of the false dichotomy between good and evil and shows the war between them as posing more a threat to humankind than the artificial labels of those desperate for power. Also, plants had emotions and lots of Queen playing.

9.5/10, did not feature any actual cats. Pretty good, @neil-gaiman

I’m convinced this is the moment Crowley fell in love.

I really can’t stop thinking about how the only reason we have this show at all is because of a promise Neil made to Terry, because they had been trying to get it made for years and it kept falling through and then Terry died and Neil absolutely was not going to do it without him but Terry asked him to make sure it got made, so Neil put aside everything he felt about making it without Terry and did it anyway, and not only that but he wrote the adaptations (which as far as I know isn’t something he has done for his other works) and took on the role of showrunner aka a big job that’s a lot of work, and literally didn’t do the thing he does, didn’t write, for almost two years to make sure he could make this show the way it was supposed to be, the way Terry would want it, he did all of that out of love for his friend and to keep his promise. So we’re all losing our minds over these two occult/ethereal beings whose love for each other is as present throughout human history as the sun and stars, whose connection to each other is as fundamental as the earth itself and persists throughout the limitations of time, but the only reason we have that angel and demon and their love is because of the love Neil has for Terry, his own love that transcends the limitations of time, and he took that love and made it into this show he didn’t even want to make once Terry was gone but Terry asked him to so he did anyway, he took the sheer enormity of love he felt for his friend - and it must be enormous, just look at all he did - and he made it into this show, he made a show about transcendental love out of his own transcendental love, and it just feels like something precious and it feels like such a gift and I just don’t want to overlook that and I really want to say: thank you, Neil. Thank you for sharing that love with us.