Latest Posts by k-marzolf - Page 4

Hi! This is regarding your post asking which of your fics is my favorite. It was a recent one... Butterfly(?). Billy wants to clip your wings so you stay with him forever. I commented that it'd be a cool twist if you end up clipping his instead. Lol

Hi, Kim! 💜

Oooh, yeah. Blood and Butterflies. I actually stepped out of my comfort zone with that one, and ended up really liking it. I’d really like to continue it, along with a bunch of other WIPs, lol.

Ohh, that sounds wonderful. I’m actually thassalaphobic, but I still like to admire the sea, I would just rather not get in. I ain’t taking the chance the megalodon isn’t really extinct, and get eaten. Lmao 😅

Hi! Dove here on my main.

What's the location in your dashboard photo? It's beautiful!

Hi, Dove! 💜

I found it on Pinterest, it was taken in Portland, Maine. It is very beautiful. I love Lighthouses, and Nautical themes. :)

Hi! Dove here on my main.

What's the location in your dashboard photo? It's beautiful!

Hi, Dove! 💜

I found it on Pinterest, it was taken in Portland, Maine. It is very beautiful. I love Lighthouses, and Nautical themes. :)

imagine ur living inside a tiny mushroom house... with a tiny chimney.... deep in the woods... no one knows u exist... u make soup in a tiny pot.....u are free

A beating heart of stone.

A Monsters in the Dark Drabble

Sexism/misogyny, blood, canon typical violence, dark themes, your media consumption is your responsibility, protective!Billy, fem!reader.

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist.

516 words, reposted with edits, fleshing out Billy’s feelings a little more.

“You know, Russo. Your girl sure is sweet, the hostess with the mostess,” he said, referring to how you’d served him, and other guests last weekend with a cheerful smile on your face, never once spilling the drinks.

He could see why Russo liked you, kind and soft. “Not very pretty, but it would be a shame if something happened to her, being a woman. I could protect her better. I got more money.” His competitor said, flashing his yellowed teeth in a grin, and drinking a beer in Billy’s kitchen. They had been talking business, or rather he’d been trying to swindle Billy.

“I’ll give you twenty percent for her.” He said, leaning on the counter. Like you were for sale. “A deal for an orphan like you.”

Billy felt a rage that someone would threaten you, diminish you as helpless because you were a woman, sexist fuck, and then try to take you from him. You were his. The only person he cared about besides the Castles. He gnashed his teeth together, fingers tightening on his beer bottle. He looked down as Elias set his fingers down on the counter, a gaudy family ring on his finger.

Before Elias could blink, Billy grabbed a butcher knife out of the wooden dock, and slammed the knife down on his fingers calmly, slicing them off knuckle down, a single minded purpose to send a message.

Elias howled, as he made an awful mess, bleeding everywhere, grabbing his hand looking at what remained in horror.

Billy grabbed a bag and some ice, putting his fingers in it, before handing it to Elias. “Go get your fingers put back on. But next time you threaten my girl? I’ll throw them in the Hudson.” He bared his teeth at Elias.

“You’re fucking crazy! I’ll get you for this, Russo.” Elias shouted, holding his bloody hand, his face twisted in an ugly scowl.

Billy only grinned, dark eyes like pits. He drank his beer, watching Elias walk out, carrying his fingers in the bag, meaning to wait in the building’s lobby for an ambulance.

He cleaned the blood up in his kitchen, the mess itching his brain, something fierce. He wondered if he was capable of loving you with how bitter and bruised his heart was, from people who were supposed to love and care for him.

He scrubbed the counter, thinking about how he’d initially wanted to be needed. And your softness made him believe in good things like tenderness. And he’d wanted that for himself, and so he’d encouraged your love, indulging in you. But then with each taste of you, he hungered for more.

And then, he’d gotten what he’d chased all his life, affection. He was wanted for who he was. But sometimes he didn’t know what to do with it, fumbling in the dark to return your feelings.

But he realized as he threw the dirty cloth in the wash, that he'd burn his heart out of himself just to keep you warm, and that was enough.

Attachments be damned, but goddamn he liked you.

x

Tags; @idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack @firexfate @aoi-targaryen

walking up to random doors and tugging on them and saying "i can't. it's locked" out loud to no one to fulfill my dreams of being an adventure game protagonist

Mulled wine & ham

A Monsters in the Dark Christmas Drabble

Christmas fluff, mentions of dark themes (prevalent throughout this series), possessive behavior, alcohol consumption, bust mostly just fluff, fem!reader.

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist.

737 words.

x

He watched you drinking too much at a holiday party that night in December, playing footsies under the table with him, unbeknownst to all the guests.

He’d smirked, sipping his mulled wine as you snitched ham off his plate, and then another piece, and another still.

“Oi, Billy. You gonna let her steal all your ham?” asked one of the men, drunk and on his third plate of food, looking curiously at you.

Billy hummed, not liking the man’s gaze on you at all, and gave him a dark look. “I don’t care for ham, at all actually. It’s too fatty and salty.” He said as your foot climbed up his calf, and you stole some mashed potatoes with your fork.

“I’m sorry, Wilbur. But I can’t resist the taste.” You mumbled, before biting off another piece of ham you’d taken.

Billy took another drink, and almost choked on his wine at your words. God, you made these holiday parties for Anvil worth going to. He wasn’t bored out of his mind with you here. He saw several women wanting to approach him, by the way they kept peeking at him and giggling like school girls. A year ago he would have happily indulged in it, but he was entirely caught up in you, especially after you’d killed Arthur. You’d defended him when his own mother, and others hadn’t.

He’d always grown disinterested in women after a week. He was sure some had loved him, but he loved you. Because you wanted him, because you were soft, and devoted, and made him realize the world wasn’t always such a dark, and evil place. Because he could be his true self with you, and still receive your love. He didn’t have to put up the facade of a good man, because you wanted him to be entirely himself, otherwise he wouldn’t be worth half as much to you.

The Tiffany bracelet he bought you last week, was shining on your wrist in the light, creating prisms. The only reason you wore it was for him. You couldn’t care less about material things, which made it hard when he wanted to spoil you, to take care of you.

And he’d wanted to care for you, he didn’t think you needed to work, but you put your foot down on that. You liked your independence, and if something went wrong you’d be stranded with nowhere to go.

Billy had reluctantly agreed, but he knew nothing was going to change. You were his.

You liked working at the library anyway, affectionately complaining about the cranky old lady who worked there.

“I’ll probably end up like her,” you laughed, “with five cats.”

That was when he seriously decided to keep you. He wanted your five cats, attachments be damned.

“I want to grab your hair, and kiss you.” You said, watching him, feet still playing with his legs.

Billy uncrossed his legs, “Why don’t you?” He asked, leaning in, voice husky.

“I don’t think your fan club would approve.” You laughed, eyes flicking down to his mouth.

Billy huffed, “The only fan club I want is yours.” He said, leaning back.

You smiled, “Oh, Billy. Don’t tempt me. You might find yourself stalked.” You said, drinking more of the awful wine.

Billy didn’t get a chance to respond.

“Isn’t he handsome?” One of the women laughed, looking at you, eyes glazed. Drunk, probably.

You stole a piece of his pumpkin pie, “And smart. And ambitious. A tactician. Resourceful. A protector. And sweet when he’s not being an asshole.” You said softly, spraying a bunch of whipped cream on a single bite of pumpkin pie.

Billy adjusted his tie, feeling uncomfortable. You saw him through the facade, you didn’t see him just for his beauty, but everything else, too.

The woman stared. She hadn’t thought of those things, she just saw him superficially. Just another pretty face, as they say. She ended up drifting away and Billy let out a sigh of relief. “Janice. Every office party she hits on me.” He whispered, pouring himself more wine.

“I bet she’s the president of your fan club.” You laughed, and then paused. “Billy should take me home, so we can have a hot bath together with some better wine.”

Billy’s lips turned up. “You don’t like mulled wine?”

You curled your nose, and he kissed your mouth. “I thought you’d never ask, sweet pea.”

x

Tags; @idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack @firexfate @aoi-targaryen

I'm a simple girl. I just want a man with nice eyes, a sharp jawline, questionable morals, and a fondness for knives.

I love your stories and I think I read most of them 🥹☺️

What other writers would you recommend? Thank you!!!

Thank you!! 💜 I appreciate you reading my stuff. 😘

For Billy, I would recommend @becauseicantthinkwritings @e-dubbc11 @kayhi808 @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend @the-cult-of-russo @marvelmusing @dreamlandcreations @queen-haq @ramadiiiisme

I probably missed someone, but these are the writers I would recommend. I’ve read their stuff myself, and enjoy them immensely. 💜 Some of them write for other fandoms, but they all write for Billy in some way.

-Kat 💜

one moment my hand is holding yours and then suddenly it's reaching out for something that's no longer there

Tutus.

+roommate au, fluff, possessive behavior, reader is ADHD coded, kissing, fem!reader+

I realized I had described a Calvin Klein cologne that did not exist, so I did more research into what some of them smell like. My apologies.

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist.

&&&&

He fisted your hair, “Asked you a question, sweet pea.” You had been distracted by how good he smelled, like something spicy, his cologne probably. It was entirely Billy.

His new roommate was always distracted, however. His fingers tightened in your hair, wanting to make you his, to kiss you in a way that left no room for question on who you belonged to.

He was taken with you almost violently. By your tenderness.

You raised your eyes to his, so rarely you gave eye contact to people. You didn’t like them looking into your soul, and you didn’t like looking into theirs. You always ended up focusing on the whites of their eyes, or maybe if that person had a god complex, or if they were thinking about touching you. People liked to approach you, and touch you without asking.

But you gave Billy eye contact, always drawn into his dark gaze that stripped you down. He was the only person who could touch you, too, besides Curtis. They made you feel safe, the only two who didn’t make you feel like ripping your skin off. “Huh?” You asked, tilting your head.

He laughed, “Text me when you get home from Curtis, okay?”

You looked at him sheepishly, “You smell good,” you said, leaning closer.

“Calvin Klein.” He answered, as you sniffed his neck.

“Can I wear some?” You asked sweetly.

“Men's cologne?” He raised an eyebrow, fingers still tangled in your hair.

“Mhm. Wanna smell like you.” You hummed, eyes hooded.

“Sure, sweet pea.”

You didn’t answer his previous question, kissing him instead. But you’d been kissing him ever since he’d come home with your favorite tea last week. Apparently the way to your heart was tea.

He smiled into your mouth, unable to resist your want of him.

Hozier writing Francesca: what if every horrible thing you've ever been through has led you, or will yet lead you, to someone you love so much you'd do it all again. What if the suffering is all worth it, not from a religious standpoint but because of someone you love. What if that's all there is - heaven and hell couldn't care less about us, but we care for one another. We endure the unspeakable for one another. What if heaven won't let us in but we wander together through the darkness for eternity knowing we acted in love and having no regrets. What if heaven can't contain people of complexity and passion like ours. What if we were offered the opportunity and we said we'd do it all again.

Providence.

A Monsters in the Dark drabble.

((blood, canon typical violence, anti religious sentiment, religious imagery, mentions of Billy’s assault by Arthur, abandonment issues, idolatry, fem!reader))

A little dark, I guess. But I was feeling dark.

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist.

&&&&

If you are the dealer, I’m out of the game.

If you are the healer it means I’m broken and lame.

If thine is the glory, then mine must be the shame.

—Leonard Cohen, You Want It Darker.

x

Billy had learned long ago God didn’t exist, and if He did, then He didn’t care what happened to him, or about his suffering.

Billy had survived because of himself, not because of providence or some shit. He’d defended himself against Arthur, an eleven year old boy fighting against a predator. No one went after Arthur, either. “Just a misunderstandin’,” he'd said. A misunderstanding that left Billy’s shoulder ruined.

He’d built Anvil from the ground up himself. With blood, sweat, and tears, even though he’d been orphaned, with virtually nothing.

He moved through the underground facility, hearing his men shouting, and gunshots ringing out. He looked around the corner, shooting a man that was coming at him with a knife, but he didn’t die easily.

Billy unsheathed his hidden blade, running the man through, feeling his blade cut through flesh and bone, and sinew.

Billy had seen a lot of death, and realized everyone was equal in death, everyone eventually faced it, and no one was above it.

Death was the only god, and He did not discriminate.

But when Billy looked at you he saw salvation. He brought your fingers up to kiss each one, his hands were stained with blood, but you looked past the bloody carnage of his own making.

You saw God, as you moved closer to him, eyes soft and looking at him like he imagined Penelope did when she saw Odysseus, devoted and in love.

Yours was the only salvation he desired.

Tags: @idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack @firexfate @aoi-targaryen

“When the band went to London, Nicks scoured the flea markets in Chelsea and on Portobello Road for Victorian lace — “the real deal,” she says. At five foot one, Nicks likes anything with volume that gives her more stage presence, like the endless shawls and scarves she spreads wide into wings. (Among the boxes packed for her spring tour, there’s a giant bin marked Stevie’s saris.) And, along with the platforms, that iconic top hat added height. “I found a top hat at a thrift store in Buffalo, New York, on our first tour, and I loved it,” she says. “Now I have several. It really became part of my look.” 

 Harpers Bazaar, 2011

when hozier said "i'd burn every soul i knew if i thought the fire was warming you" and when he said "no grave can hold my body down, i'll crawl home to her" and when he said "i'm so full of love i can barely eat"

billy would be the type of person to be dragged to a local book sale and act like he hates it but buys the reader whatever they pick up. not caring how expensive it gets, just as long as reader is happy

Oh shit, this is them! 🥺 💕 I love this dynamic though. I’m such a slut for it. 😂 it makes me so happy you thought of them, though. 💜

thinking about the dynamic between the self-made cynic and the bleeding heart

for such a violent man, his kisses are so very tender.

What, are you a genius or something?

“wtf is wrong with you”

you mean like today or like in general?

Hozier, Francesca ("Unreal Unearth")

hi! im the anon from yesterday and i really understand how u feel and actually wrote on here a lot, but the bigger i got with followers i just got anxious and deactivated LOL anyways, i check the billy russo tag everyday and love reading ur stuff posted there it's apart my ✨️routine✨️ and was just curious. i think u write really beautifully and ur portrayal of billy is so 👩‍🍳💋 keep writing as long as it makes you happy! 💗

Thank you so much for that. I’ve had some people that were extremely critical of me as a young girl, so I often think everything I write is worthless, and constantly compare myself to others. But it always helps when kind people like you come along an offer such sweet compliments. So, thank you again. 💜💜💜

why do you delete things and repost them /gen i love all ur stuff and reread it happily

Because I tend to get embarrassed of my own writing, and delete it on impulse, and then end up regretting it once the feeling has passed. I’m Bipolar/BPD and I tend to let my feelings control me, and I can be very impulsive. Today, I’ve wanted to do nothing but delete my whole profile and fade from the internet. I’m trying to remind myself the feeling will fade. But it’s hard when the emotion feels like it’s dragging me under. 😔 I’m glad you love my stuff, it means a lot because I’m often extremely self critical.

-Kat💜

i love your blog!! been following for just a bit but it’s crazy bc we have the same interests. i mean, billy russo, stevie nicks, and marilyn? they’re unrelated 😂 but i love em. love your taste hon.

Thank you! 😘 My interests are all over the place, lol. But I always get excited when I find someone who shares them, or at least some of them. 💜

Do whatever makes you happy, the days aren’t coming back.

Restart.

A Monsters in the Dark Drabble.

Warnings; angst, mentions of Billy’s bad childhood and reader’s, language, fear of attachments, kissing, possessive behavior, fem!reader.

I’ve rewritten this more times than I can count, so I’m posting it for better or for worse.

@idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack @firexfate @aoi-targaryen

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist

x

And I am done with my graceless heart, so tonight I’m gonna cut it out and then restart.

You knew you shouldn’t have been, but you were snooping in his office. You wanted to know where he went every week. It wasn’t your business, but curiosity killed the cat.

You ended up finding a picture of a woman and what presumably was Billy as a child. He was cute, you thought unable to tear your gaze away from the photo. He had her eyes, but neither were smiling in the photo.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Billy stood at the door looking thunderous.

“I just—“ you began, head snapping up.

“Get. Out.” He snarled, cutting you off, snatching the photo out of your hand, his face contorted in fury.

“Wanted to know Billy.” You whispered, brushing past him, your throat burning with the effort to keep from crying.

“By invading my privacy?” He seethed from behind you. You sniffed, and god Billy almost pulled you into his arms, knowing what you’d been through with your father.

But he didn’t need or want your pity.

He was going to kick you out, you just knew it. You began making contingency plans. You wouldn’t be homeless again with nowhere to go, you swore.

x

“Billy’s mad at me,” you whispered into your tea, sitting with Curtis.

“He’ll cool off. He just doesn’t want your pity. Billy’s very independent that way.” Curtis said, having coffee himself.

“I don’t, though. My daddy didn’t want me, either. If anything I felt understood, but I’ve gone and blown it.” You said, keeping out that you’d been sleeping with Billy.

Your chest ached knowing you’d have to sleep on your own tonight. That the memories of your father would likely resurface, scaring you. You chewed your lips until they were bloody.

Curtis extended his leg, he looked like he was in pain. “Don't chew your lips,” he scolded, lightly dabbing at the blood there. You had a habit of worrying at your lips, something Curtis often scolded you for, “Want me to talk to him?” He asked, pulling the cloth away from your lips.

“No, it’ll make it worse.” You said, finishing your tea.

Curtis hummed, “It’ll be okay, Billy’s stubborn but I can tell he cares about you, even if he doesn’t say. He’s not good with emotions.” He explained sipping his coffee.

You hoped Curtis was right, because you’d grown to care for Billy, even knowing he wasn’t entirely good, and made his living out of violence.

You trusted him, and even as angry as he got, he hadn’t struck you. He’d been controlled.

You only wished his anger hadn’t hurt so much. A curse of feeling everything strongly, everything felt so deeply.

x

Billy couldn’t fucking sleep. The image of your eyes filled with tears stuck in his head, that he’d caused them. But more than that he missed your warm body next to his, the feeling of your even breaths, and soft snores, the way you played with the scar at his hip before you went to sleep every night. You always had a fixation with it.

You were the only woman he’d let into his bed. It was his one safe space, but he hadn’t been able to turn you away that night you’d begged to sleep with him.

And now he was attached to you. The very thing he hated, because it meant he could be vulnerable again. Sometimes he wanted to cut his heart out, it would make life so much easier.

The woman who was supposed to love him, had abandoned him. The most important relationship he’d ever have in his formative years. His fingers fisted his duvet seeing your sweet face in his mind again.

But god he liked you. He still had the lavender under his pillow that you got him.

“Fuck this,” he hissed, throwing his duvet off. He wanted you in any capacity you’d have him. There was nothing to think about.

x

You laid in bed that night in the guest room, trying not to see your father in the shadows as you usually did, his shadow still hanging over you, frightening you years after his attempt on your life.

You hid under the covers letting out a shaky breath. He’s not here, you told yourself. He can’t get you. You chanted over and over, but a tingle of fear trickled down your spine, making it hard to breathe.

You screamed when you heard someone knock on your doorframe. You peeked out from the covers, “Billy?” You asked, shaking.

“Who else?” He asked not unkindly, his hair mussed from laying on it. “Come to bed,” he said hoarsely, as though he hadn’t gotten much sleep, either.

You hesitated and he ached at your reluctance, “I’m not mad anymore, sweet pea.” He said seeing you shake, before you threw off your duvet, and followed him into his room. When you climbed in, he pulled you against him, stroking your spine, burying his face in your hair. “I’m sorry I scared you,” he rasped, surprising himself. He rarely apologized. But he realized he valued you.

You kissed his mouth, “It’s okay. I shouldn’t have been snooping around.” You mumbled against his lips.

Billy’s fingers dug into your hips, “I just wanna love Billy. Every part of him, even the parts he’d rather forget.” You continued, trying to make him understand.

Billy ached at that. His own mother hadn’t loved him, how could you? You kissed him again, soft and slow making him groan softly, tasting the toothpaste on your tongue.

And just like that the ache in Billy’s heart eased in the wake of your kisses, sweet and yielding.

“You’re mine.” He rasped, making your heart leap with hope.

“You promise?” You asked softly, minty breath blowing over his face.

“I promise.” He said, kissing your forehead, before tucking you under his chin.

And after hours of fighting for sleep, you both fell asleep at two in the morning.

Promise.

A Monsters in the Dark Drabble.

Apparently Tumblr didn’t like the image I chose. It won’t show up in the tags, so trying again.

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist

x

Billy’s fingers latched onto your wrist, pulling you through the crowd in the fairgrounds, twirling you a bit, and making you laugh delighted by his playfulness. “You’re so pretty, sweet pea. I bet you taste sweet from all that cotton candy.”

You ducked your head, fingers still laced with his, smiling softly. He nudged you with his shoulder. You looked up at him, and he kissed you. He’d only kissed you that night you’d crawled into his bed crying, and even though you crawled in every night after that, he’d maintained a distance.

You sighed into his mouth, pulling him closer with your hand. He tasted like the funnel cakes he’d eaten. His kiss was soft, and slow, taking his time with you. Your ex had never treated you this good, always angry at something, at the world.

“I wanna go on the Carousel next.” You said, pulling away breathless.

“Sure, baby.” He said against your mouth.

x

He watched you ride the painted ponies, the taste of you still on his tongue, lingering. “She never got to enjoy stuff like this,” said Curtis, coming up beside him. “Her father made sure of that.”

Billy understood that; he'd never had a childhood, either. “It’s hard, always having to be the adult among shitheads who should be the adults.” He said, looking at how pretty you looked in your dress, and a smile on your face when you spotted him in the crowd.

He’d give you everything you never had. And the promise startled him. He’d never given a shit about many people outside of the Castles, but it was hard not to like you.

x

You crawled into his bed that night, and he rolled over tonight, facing you, lips brushing your forehead. You sighed sweetly. “I had fun today, Billy.” You murmured into the dark.

“Yeah?” He husked, fingers going to your hips.

“I really liked when you kissed me.” You said boldly, surprising him, as you kissed the corner of his mouth, softly.

Billy’s fingers dug into your cheeks, kissing you hard, tongue pushing into your mouth, he could taste the toothpaste you’d brushed with that night.

“You’re too sweet, baby.” He rasped, trying to pull away from you, his heart ached at how you only followed him, scooting closer to him.

“None of that I’m too bad for you shit. It’s cliché.” You said firmly, making him laugh at how ferocious you tried to be. Like a mouse attempting to fight a cat.

He nudged your nose with his, “I’m going to hell.” He muttered.

You snuggled under his chin, content.

And Billy didn’t have the heart to drive you away.

things to do when your day's been bad

lie down on the floor beside your bed

take a shower, use the good soap

listen to a song you liked ages ago

write your thoughts out in all caps

draw a head and then 'decorate' that head however you're feeling (I drew a man with a hole for a face. It worked)

listen to a song and try to focus on one (1) instrument at a time, baseline, drums, guitar, another guitar, repeating sound effect

wash your face

take a nap or go to bed early

call someone. tell them about your horrible day or let them talk about theirs or both

go through your camera roll (specifically the screenshots folder)

go through your saved instagram posts / tumblr likes

watch That One Really Great Live Performance of That Artist You Love, then read the comments of everyone having great taste like you do

cry a little about it

remember that this day will end and another will begin. it'll be all new, never experienced before, no bad things will have happened, and you'll be okay.

thr funniest part of therapy to me is when you first come in and you're exchanging niceties and they say "hello! how are you" and you say "im fine how are you :)" and then 30 seconds later they put on their therapist voice and say "so how are you doing?" and you go well lisa. believe it or not im doing Bad