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Monsters in the Dark #20

Death, angst/fluff, dark themes, mentions of abandonment and issues surrounding it, bitterness, kissing, fem!reader.

@idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack

x

The graveyard was cold as winter waned into spring. The ground was muddy, and Billy hated how it ruined his pristine dress shoes.

You were standing next to him, arm wrapped around his elbow as he stared at the fresh grave marker, “Carla Russo,” it read above the dates of her birth and death.

You looked up at him, “Are you sad?” You asked softly, gripping him tighter as you readjust on the soft ground. You were sinking a little.

Billy’s lip curled, “No. She didn’t care about my life, I don’t care about her death. It’s just a relief not to have to pay for her hospital bills.” Billy admitted, a bitter tone to his voice.

He hated that he was so bitter, but once again she had abandoned him, this time by dying. Billy hated that he felt abandoned, he thought he was over this.

But he felt like a boy again, standing at that fire station asking when she was coming back. He wanted to shatter the grave marker. He wanted to hate her, but deep down he knew he’d been hoping up until the day she’d died that she’d want a relationship with him.

I’m a goddamn fool, he thought.

You laid your head on his arm for a moment as you both stood there in silence. The wind blew and Billy wondered silently if she was free from her addiction. A big part of him hoped her soul was trapped here, still in the grips of it.

It seemed too kind for her to receive peace after abandoning her child.

“Billy’s pain could be mine, if he wanted.” You said, drawing his gaze down to you. “I would take it all into me if I could, but I could at least share in it?” You asked sweetly.

Billy swallowed. You were the only reminder of anything good in this cold world. The one thing that made him believe in anything good.

He turned to you, cupping your face in his gloved hands, before kissing you, as if you could share in his pain. And maybe you could, because standing there in the crisp spring morning, he felt just a little bit better with you standing next to him.

When he pulled back, he nudged your nose with his. “You already do, baby.” He squeezed your hand, “Let’s go home. I’m freezing my balls off out here.”

You giggled, “Can we have hot chocolate?” You asked, following him carefully out of the muddy cemetery.

Billy smiled, “Sure, baby.”

His heart felt lighter with you by his side.

Promise.

A Monsters in the Dark Drabble.

Apparently Tumblr didn’t like the image I chose. It won’t show up in the tags, so trying again.

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist

x

Billy’s fingers latched onto your wrist, pulling you through the crowd in the fairgrounds, twirling you a bit, and making you laugh delighted by his playfulness. “You’re so pretty, sweet pea. I bet you taste sweet from all that cotton candy.”

You ducked your head, fingers still laced with his, smiling softly. He nudged you with his shoulder. You looked up at him, and he kissed you. He’d only kissed you that night you’d crawled into his bed crying, and even though you crawled in every night after that, he’d maintained a distance.

You sighed into his mouth, pulling him closer with your hand. He tasted like the funnel cakes he’d eaten. His kiss was soft, and slow, taking his time with you. Your ex had never treated you this good, always angry at something, at the world.

“I wanna go on the Carousel next.” You said, pulling away breathless.

“Sure, baby.” He said against your mouth.

x

He watched you ride the painted ponies, the taste of you still on his tongue, lingering. “She never got to enjoy stuff like this,” said Curtis, coming up beside him. “Her father made sure of that.”

Billy understood that; he'd never had a childhood, either. “It’s hard, always having to be the adult among shitheads who should be the adults.” He said, looking at how pretty you looked in your dress, and a smile on your face when you spotted him in the crowd.

He’d give you everything you never had. And the promise startled him. He’d never given a shit about many people outside of the Castles, but it was hard not to like you.

x

You crawled into his bed that night, and he rolled over tonight, facing you, lips brushing your forehead. You sighed sweetly. “I had fun today, Billy.” You murmured into the dark.

“Yeah?” He husked, fingers going to your hips.

“I really liked when you kissed me.” You said boldly, surprising him, as you kissed the corner of his mouth, softly.

Billy’s fingers dug into your cheeks, kissing you hard, tongue pushing into your mouth, he could taste the toothpaste you’d brushed with that night.

“You’re too sweet, baby.” He rasped, trying to pull away from you, his heart ached at how you only followed him, scooting closer to him.

“None of that I’m too bad for you shit. It’s cliché.” You said firmly, making him laugh at how ferocious you tried to be. Like a mouse attempting to fight a cat.

He nudged your nose with his, “I’m going to hell.” He muttered.

You snuggled under his chin, content.

And Billy didn’t have the heart to drive you away.

Providence.

A Monsters in the Dark drabble.

((blood, canon typical violence, anti religious sentiment, religious imagery, mentions of Billy’s assault by Arthur, abandonment issues, idolatry, fem!reader))

A little dark, I guess. But I was feeling dark.

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist.

&&&&

If you are the dealer, I’m out of the game.

If you are the healer it means I’m broken and lame.

If thine is the glory, then mine must be the shame.

—Leonard Cohen, You Want It Darker.

x

Billy had learned long ago God didn’t exist, and if He did, then He didn’t care what happened to him, or about his suffering.

Billy had survived because of himself, not because of providence or some shit. He’d defended himself against Arthur, an eleven year old boy fighting against a predator. No one went after Arthur, either. “Just a misunderstandin’,” he'd said. A misunderstanding that left Billy’s shoulder ruined.

He’d built Anvil from the ground up himself. With blood, sweat, and tears, even though he’d been orphaned, with virtually nothing.

He moved through the underground facility, hearing his men shouting, and gunshots ringing out. He looked around the corner, shooting a man that was coming at him with a knife, but he didn’t die easily.

Billy unsheathed his hidden blade, running the man through, feeling his blade cut through flesh and bone, and sinew.

Billy had seen a lot of death, and realized everyone was equal in death, everyone eventually faced it, and no one was above it.

Death was the only god, and He did not discriminate.

But when Billy looked at you he saw salvation. He brought your fingers up to kiss each one, his hands were stained with blood, but you looked past the bloody carnage of his own making.

You saw God, as you moved closer to him, eyes soft and looking at him like he imagined Penelope did when she saw Odysseus, devoted and in love.

Yours was the only salvation he desired.

Tags: @idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack @firexfate @aoi-targaryen

“She reaches for him with a tendril of shadow…. He holds his hand out in welcome.”

How wonderful it must be to find that other half, that equal who welcomes you home no matter that pain that exists between you.

I absolutely loved this. It was beautifully crafted, Robin. 💜

Dawn Greeting Dusk Falling

A reimagining of the events after ‘Siege and Storm’ and a coping mechanism for the SaB S2 ending we would rather not have…

She had kept a little of his shadow, he enough of her light. This is what made it possible, this meeting at the roiling edge of the Fold where Alina knew she would one day find herself.

Fifty years did he say? She knew it had been more, and still it surprised her as the seasons dragged on that love had endured — the love of so many, and the love of one above all. Even if she had to watch each one shrouded and laid in the ground. Each and every one.

What she means to do here now is neither a reckoning, nor a reconciliation. The moment is simply right. She looks into the shadows, and lifts her hand. The globe of light is muted, as though in a fog; but she knows he will not fail to see it.

“Alina.”

There is no rage in the way he says her name, not even a question. They are past that, she supposes.

One who was too young, and one who lived too long; they were here now, nearly unchanged but for her white hair worn unbound. He did not expect her to come sooner, he knew time well enough. He might have thought he knew her as well.

She did not destroy the Fold.

Thought dead after the collapse of the Chapel, legend had it that her spirit guided skiffs as they made each journey. For not a soul has been lost to the Fold since.

That was how she knew that he wasn’t lost. And the knowledge, when she realized it, caused her that day to weep with joy.

The two of them lived because they could not let the other die; when his humanity was burning away, she held on blindly to what remained and he … she could not name what he did, but in the end she knew he had kept her from falling into darkness.

He had kept — some essence, some hope? Light either way.

And a resolve not to lose her to the void.

What was left of him that day was drawn to the Fold, the only place where he could still exist.

A shadow among shadows.

“You might have left me with a fresh set of clothes. An eternity disheveled is its own unique torture.”

She startles with laughter, the unexpected joy at the even more unexpected attempt at humor freeing the tension in her shoulders. She lets herself smile at him, and his smile is genuine as he smiles back.

“Are you angry?” she asks.

“What is anger for?” is his reply.

Flame sputtering to life in sunlight has more purpose.

A silence heavy as the weight of loss they now share settles between them.

“I could not bear it if you turned from me now.”

He spoke the truth. It was the same truth she would always understand, no matter the centuries left to them, no matter their choices that will always hang in the balance.

She reaches for him with a tendril of shadow.

He holds out his hand in welcome.

————-

A/N: For my AU sister @becauseicantthinkwritings who has been putting up with my not-fun era for longer than she should 😅

It's always so uplifting to see tha you have posted some of your fiction 🤩

Thank you, my friend. I really appreciate you. It’s uplifting to see you in my notes when I post something. ♥️😘

Fallout: New Vegas Scenery [2/?]

came home drunk last night and got way too excited to see my cat

Restart.

A Monsters in the Dark Drabble.

Warnings; angst, mentions of Billy’s bad childhood and reader’s, language, fear of attachments, kissing, possessive behavior, fem!reader.

I’ve rewritten this more times than I can count, so I’m posting it for better or for worse.

@idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack @firexfate @aoi-targaryen

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist

x

And I am done with my graceless heart, so tonight I’m gonna cut it out and then restart.

You knew you shouldn’t have been, but you were snooping in his office. You wanted to know where he went every week. It wasn’t your business, but curiosity killed the cat.

You ended up finding a picture of a woman and what presumably was Billy as a child. He was cute, you thought unable to tear your gaze away from the photo. He had her eyes, but neither were smiling in the photo.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Billy stood at the door looking thunderous.

“I just—“ you began, head snapping up.

“Get. Out.” He snarled, cutting you off, snatching the photo out of your hand, his face contorted in fury.

“Wanted to know Billy.” You whispered, brushing past him, your throat burning with the effort to keep from crying.

“By invading my privacy?” He seethed from behind you. You sniffed, and god Billy almost pulled you into his arms, knowing what you’d been through with your father.

But he didn’t need or want your pity.

He was going to kick you out, you just knew it. You began making contingency plans. You wouldn’t be homeless again with nowhere to go, you swore.

x

“Billy’s mad at me,” you whispered into your tea, sitting with Curtis.

“He’ll cool off. He just doesn’t want your pity. Billy’s very independent that way.” Curtis said, having coffee himself.

“I don’t, though. My daddy didn’t want me, either. If anything I felt understood, but I’ve gone and blown it.” You said, keeping out that you’d been sleeping with Billy.

Your chest ached knowing you’d have to sleep on your own tonight. That the memories of your father would likely resurface, scaring you. You chewed your lips until they were bloody.

Curtis extended his leg, he looked like he was in pain. “Don't chew your lips,” he scolded, lightly dabbing at the blood there. You had a habit of worrying at your lips, something Curtis often scolded you for, “Want me to talk to him?” He asked, pulling the cloth away from your lips.

“No, it’ll make it worse.” You said, finishing your tea.

Curtis hummed, “It’ll be okay, Billy’s stubborn but I can tell he cares about you, even if he doesn’t say. He’s not good with emotions.” He explained sipping his coffee.

You hoped Curtis was right, because you’d grown to care for Billy, even knowing he wasn’t entirely good, and made his living out of violence.

You trusted him, and even as angry as he got, he hadn’t struck you. He’d been controlled.

You only wished his anger hadn’t hurt so much. A curse of feeling everything strongly, everything felt so deeply.

x

Billy couldn’t fucking sleep. The image of your eyes filled with tears stuck in his head, that he’d caused them. But more than that he missed your warm body next to his, the feeling of your even breaths, and soft snores, the way you played with the scar at his hip before you went to sleep every night. You always had a fixation with it.

You were the only woman he’d let into his bed. It was his one safe space, but he hadn’t been able to turn you away that night you’d begged to sleep with him.

And now he was attached to you. The very thing he hated, because it meant he could be vulnerable again. Sometimes he wanted to cut his heart out, it would make life so much easier.

The woman who was supposed to love him, had abandoned him. The most important relationship he’d ever have in his formative years. His fingers fisted his duvet seeing your sweet face in his mind again.

But god he liked you. He still had the lavender under his pillow that you got him.

“Fuck this,” he hissed, throwing his duvet off. He wanted you in any capacity you’d have him. There was nothing to think about.

x

You laid in bed that night in the guest room, trying not to see your father in the shadows as you usually did, his shadow still hanging over you, frightening you years after his attempt on your life.

You hid under the covers letting out a shaky breath. He’s not here, you told yourself. He can’t get you. You chanted over and over, but a tingle of fear trickled down your spine, making it hard to breathe.

You screamed when you heard someone knock on your doorframe. You peeked out from the covers, “Billy?” You asked, shaking.

“Who else?” He asked not unkindly, his hair mussed from laying on it. “Come to bed,” he said hoarsely, as though he hadn’t gotten much sleep, either.

You hesitated and he ached at your reluctance, “I’m not mad anymore, sweet pea.” He said seeing you shake, before you threw off your duvet, and followed him into his room. When you climbed in, he pulled you against him, stroking your spine, burying his face in your hair. “I’m sorry I scared you,” he rasped, surprising himself. He rarely apologized. But he realized he valued you.

You kissed his mouth, “It’s okay. I shouldn’t have been snooping around.” You mumbled against his lips.

Billy’s fingers dug into your hips, “I just wanna love Billy. Every part of him, even the parts he’d rather forget.” You continued, trying to make him understand.

Billy ached at that. His own mother hadn’t loved him, how could you? You kissed him again, soft and slow making him groan softly, tasting the toothpaste on your tongue.

And just like that the ache in Billy’s heart eased in the wake of your kisses, sweet and yielding.

“You’re mine.” He rasped, making your heart leap with hope.

“You promise?” You asked softly, minty breath blowing over his face.

“I promise.” He said, kissing your forehead, before tucking you under his chin.

And after hours of fighting for sleep, you both fell asleep at two in the morning.

Moodboards.

@violetflamesx for my witchy and whimisgoth side blog. @esthers-wine for my fall/autumn themed sideblog. And @zeldafairy for my fic recommendations!

Billy Russo;

Series;

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist

Drabbles;

The Wolf.

Diet Mountain Dew.

Jasmine.

Moodboards.

@violetflamesx for my witchy and whimisgoth side blog. @esthers-wine for my fall/autumn themed sideblog. And @zeldafairy for my fic recommendations!

Billy Russo;

Series;

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist

Drabbles;

The Wolf.

Diet Mountain Dew.

Jasmine.