Do You Know About “looking For Polaris” ? Can’t Find It And It Seemed Similar To Yours

OC/canon and selfships are good y’all are just scared of having fun

@gathermoments

Hi! Dove here on my main.

What's the location in your dashboard photo? It's beautiful!

Hi, Dove! 💜

I found it on Pinterest, it was taken in Portland, Maine. It is very beautiful. I love Lighthouses, and Nautical themes. :)

Monsters in the Dark #20

Death, angst/fluff, dark themes, mentions of abandonment and issues surrounding it, bitterness, kissing, fem!reader.

@idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack

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The graveyard was cold as winter waned into spring. The ground was muddy, and Billy hated how it ruined his pristine dress shoes.

You were standing next to him, arm wrapped around his elbow as he stared at the fresh grave marker, “Carla Russo,” it read above the dates of her birth and death.

You looked up at him, “Are you sad?” You asked softly, gripping him tighter as you readjust on the soft ground. You were sinking a little.

Billy’s lip curled, “No. She didn’t care about my life, I don’t care about her death. It’s just a relief not to have to pay for her hospital bills.” Billy admitted, a bitter tone to his voice.

He hated that he was so bitter, but once again she had abandoned him, this time by dying. Billy hated that he felt abandoned, he thought he was over this.

But he felt like a boy again, standing at that fire station asking when she was coming back. He wanted to shatter the grave marker. He wanted to hate her, but deep down he knew he’d been hoping up until the day she’d died that she’d want a relationship with him.

I’m a goddamn fool, he thought.

You laid your head on his arm for a moment as you both stood there in silence. The wind blew and Billy wondered silently if she was free from her addiction. A big part of him hoped her soul was trapped here, still in the grips of it.

It seemed too kind for her to receive peace after abandoning her child.

“Billy’s pain could be mine, if he wanted.” You said, drawing his gaze down to you. “I would take it all into me if I could, but I could at least share in it?” You asked sweetly.

Billy swallowed. You were the only reminder of anything good in this cold world. The one thing that made him believe in anything good.

He turned to you, cupping your face in his gloved hands, before kissing you, as if you could share in his pain. And maybe you could, because standing there in the crisp spring morning, he felt just a little bit better with you standing next to him.

When he pulled back, he nudged your nose with his. “You already do, baby.” He squeezed your hand, “Let’s go home. I’m freezing my balls off out here.”

You giggled, “Can we have hot chocolate?” You asked, following him carefully out of the muddy cemetery.

Billy smiled, “Sure, baby.”

His heart felt lighter with you by his side.

I tried to play the same thing (as when Billy gives Madani a bath) in the episode where I have Frank tied up and I’m washing his face. It’s kind of similar, you know? He’s washing his face, he’s cleaning him up, he should be sympathizing, but he’s thinking, “I could choke him right now. I have that power.” I think he really gets off on that power, that genuine lust for power. 

Ben Barnes talking about Billy Russo.

It’s nearly been two years that I’ve been working on this. It’s the one piece that I wrote that I actually like, and to find that some people have come back and read it again is stunning. Thank you for everyone who has supported me. Maybe someday I will come back to writing. I want to, but I’m really burnt out. I’ve been writing constantly with an update a day since 2021. So right now, I’m just relaxing.

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist.

It’s a strange juxtaposition between the cold blooded killer, and the sweet girl who sought refuge in him.

And all of my devotion turns violent - boyish by Japanese Breakfast

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And I’d be the immediate forgiveness in Eurydice - talk by Hozier

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Evil is a point of view...God kills, and so shall we; indiscriminately...for no creatures under God are as we are, none so like Him as ourselves. - Lestat, Interview with the Vampire

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I struggled with some demons, they were middle class and tame. I didn’t know I had permission to murder and to maim. - Leonard Cohen, You Want It Darker

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Killing must feel good to God too, He does it all the time. And are we not created in His image? -Hannibal.

Billy comes home to you after killing a man.

Billy wins you a stuffy.

Waiting

Fear of the Dark

Promise

Lavender

Restart

How I’m Imagining You

Billy has a nightmare.

Sunshine

Billy has a night out.

Whiskey and the Devil

Tutus

Shared

Soft

Bloody

Someone threatens you. Billy sets them straight.

You crave Billy’s love.

A beating heart of stone.

You look at Billy like he’s God.

Billy contemplates his effect on your soul.

The Dreadful Need in the Devotee

You wait for Billy to come home.

Birthday

Stronger Without

Into the Darkness

Billy realizes the truth of his feelings.

You see a painting of Christ crucified. It sparks a discussion with Billy.

You ask Billy about his first kill.

Billy craves your love.

Someone gets into the penthouse.

Play

Billy and Frank spar.

Remember Me

Curtis warns Billy.

Bullseye

You defend Billy.

You discuss anecdotes with Billy.

Blue Moon

Billy has another nightmare.

Mulled Wine & Ham.

Billy’s mother dies.

Billy cleans his Ka-bar. You discuss.

You and Billy are caught in the rain.

Billy ends of biker harassing you.

Providence.

Billy comes home from a trip.

Extras;

Playlist.

Moodboard.

get you a man who despite his literal decades of practice repressing and hiding his emotions to survive physically cannot hide how smitten he is with you

Monsters in the Dark #6

Talks of Billy’s time in the Marines, mentions of war wounds, kissing, angst mixed with fluff, mentions of Billy’s childhood, non sexual nudity, fem!reader.

Words: 325.

@idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11

The water was warm, and you were sitting in his lap, tracing his scars on his torso, no doubt from his time in the Marines. "Where'd you get this one?" You asked, fingers tracing his hip.

He watched you through impossibly dark eyes, "AK-47, through and through." He answered, "Got it stuck in a house in Basra with no backup."

You shivered, "It sounds scary." You wondered silently if you could be brave like Billy.

He chuckled darkly, "It was one of the best nights of my life. It was a matter of who was better, them or us. And there's no one better than Frankie." He said, playing with your fleshy hips. He loved your curves, how soft you were, the way you scooted closer, silently begging for more of his attention.

“What about these?” He asked, looking at wounds on your back and chest.

“Daddy didn’t like me. I upset him by runnin’ away to mama for safety all the time. So he took a knife and—well, you can guess what he did. He was violent. It wasn’t the first time.“ you stopped, letting out a shaky breath.

Billy felt anger simmer beneath the surface that the man who was supposed to protect you, had hurt his daughter.

You smiled sweetly, "Do you love Frankie?" You peeked at him under your lashes, changing the subject, and Billy let you.

Billy grinned. "Yeah, I love that motherfucker."

You kissed Billy softly, before saying; "Could you love me?" You asked, looking at him shyly.

Billy watched you through a hooded gaze, "Is that what you want, baby? My love?" He hummed, lips brushing your cheek.

“Yes,” you whispered. You were hungry for it.

“Baby. You don’t know what you’re asking for.” He said, kissing you hard, tongue plundering your mouth. His fingers dug into your cheeks, as his cock brushed your heat, making you whine into his mouth.

He pulled back, “I’m not a soft and gentle man. I’m not a fairytale lover,” he said, fingers still digging into your cheeks, his tone almost self-deprecating.

“Don’t want a fairytale lover. Want your darkness, want your thorns, want all the parts of you that you hate.” You breathed, aching for him.

And you made him ache for you, as he trailed kisses down your jaw, holding you in place.

For a while he wasn’t some orphan no one wanted to claim as their own.

For a while he was yours.

My ideal weight is Ben Barnes on top of me