Guards! Read Me My Bedtime Yaoi

HI MY NAM IS EBONY DARK'NESS DEMENTIA RAVEN WAY ADN TDAY IM STEBBIN JUILIUS CEEZER FOR BEIN A PREP, WESH ME LUCK EMOS!!!!

I think I might soon be kicked out by another therapist for being treatment resistant. I'm just really forgetful and can't make choices... Also the curse of wanting to feel better but not wanting to change anything because change is scary.

Within one day of getting a fitness watch, it has:

1. Called me out on my sleeping habits

2. Shown how I barely move all day

3. Buzzed multiple times because my heart rate got up to like, 160.

I imagine there will be more things to come from this.

Silly phone, you're not detecting an analog audio accessory, you're detecting soup, from the bowl of soup I dropped you in.

it’s so funny when people are like “being nice is free” and “kindness costs nothing” and then they are the worst fucking person you have ever met

I want to get into a fight with someone where we just beat the shit out of each other for no reason. No emotional strings attached, no anger or grudges, just fucking going at it.