This Is How I Hold A Pen In Case You Were Wondering

Art.

when u try to write a 1115 fanfic but too sleepy to actually write it properly

‘Why does everyone think I’m gay??“ Uno whined, as he kept making weird gay noises

he rolled to jyugo, expectin a legit answer from that sensitive lil shit, but all juuGO did was showin an annoying smirk

"I dunno, ask hajime”

“it’s like u ask me to kill myself” uNO is anGERY, he stood uP fRom his sEat then leans closer to his future babejyu motherfucking go “Hun let’s find out now”

as an inexperienced angsty teenager, jyugois le surprised when uno put his hand around him

jyugo is no gay. at least he thought he no gay

but uno’s sudden hug made him realize

hE gaY 4 UunO

“bitch dont” jyugo refused, pushed uno 2 kilometers away- breaking the door and the walls with his inhuman supapawaa

“bABE WHY’” Uno YyellEd agAiN

“i duNNO” jyUgO anSweREd

they can see hajimeme coming from da west side of da building, carrying his loli little brother-

oh u thought he was a she?

bitch pls

“KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER WITH ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKER” MitsUrU appeRed ouTtA nowhere with his mic screaming bullshit

nIkO and rOkkU WEreDErE the whole timE, waITING FOR SUM YAOI BULLSHIT, SCREMS “JUST FUCK ALREADY”

“gUYS NO I THOUGHT THIS STORY IS GONNA BE HEARTWARMING” unO whIneD ONcE agAIN, tRYIn to gET uP from JyugO’s bitch pusH

“THIS iS nAnbAKa, YOOOOO” mITSUrUThrew his mic to uno sexy face makes hem bleeds every whiere

“I HAte yOu guYS” UNO SSCREaMS

“wELL wE hAtE yOu TOO”

uno, crying “wHAT?”

to his supurais, turois is stand dere, feelin he’s the sexiest motherfucker alive

which is not

the sexiest motherfucker is donaldduck

“This fight is pathetic. I won’t even consider this as a fight. It’s just a silly love quarrel.” turois being a fucking genious once again

“maMA TROISE hELP JYUGO REJECTED MEEEE” unoscremliek a lil biatch

“Hush, don’t worry, child. You know what to do.” mama tururuoispattedsuno’s bleeding coconut head “fuCKING THROW A BOMB AT HIM” turuoiS gAve sUm bOmBAS

“mOM NO”

“MOM YES”

“thAT’S IT IM CALLING GRANDMA AND PAPI”

“SHIT DONT CALL THEM”

“HOneYYYyYYyy, kIJI-SanNNNNNn”

“chILD NO THEY’LL DISOWN ME IF THEY KNOW I PLAY WITH FIRE”

jyugo woke up, thinking how the fuck did he pass out by pushin some bitchy boi bit nvm dat this is motherfucking nanbaka

“holy shit” jyugo says. “I gotta save uno” he says

but then he realizes he gayed

da thing is he wanna savsunO as a fwend but he had this ‘burning’ feelin inside him when he thinks of uno

musashi get out

“oh shit I’m gay” he snapped

hE TURNS HIS FUCKNGH ARMS TO MOTHEEFUCKING BLADES AND THE N TWEY CHOWPPED THEIR FCUKING HAIRS THEYALL GO BALD EXWCEPT UNO

AND HAJIMEME

“back off bitches” he sassED “datsmai boi ur messing with”

“ohshit” says everyone

hajimem is dere, crying, why the fuck am I bald from the start, he mumbles

“move, I’m gay” jyugo the petty motherfucker pushed hajime away

hajims wanna pumchs his backu but he too amaZeD by jyugo’s motherfucking reD sparkles

jyugo is in front of another sexy motherfucker, uno

“you, me, bed, now”

and then they fucked and it was beautiful.

The person who first discovered that coconut could be eaten must have experienced depths of hunger many will never know.

Bisexuals and biromantics are valid, like all the other sexual or romantic attractions.

This is why I don’t tell 99% people im bisexual

“My mom painted this and said no one would like it. It’s her 2nd painting.”

“I painted somebody’s mom”

“Took a while and not perfect, but i painted the guy who painted the other guy’s mom”

“I painted the girl who painted the guy who painted the other guy’s mom who painted an egret”

“I painted the guy who painted the girl who painted the guy who painted the mom who painted a bird”

“When it sinks in that I stayed up most of the night to paint a meme for internet points…”

Don’t get your sex ed from fanfiction!

Get it from

Scarleteen

do you think their menstrual cycles are synced up

Fuckboy Deadpool stans: *identify with Deadpool as some sort of outlet of their insecure masculinity/heterosexuality and rebellion against “PC” culture*

Ryan Reynolds: *reaffirms Deadpool as pansexual literally every chance he gets, wants Deadpool to have a boyfriend in the film franchise, makes Deadpool act campy and effeminate as fuck in the movies, does a charity campaign for cancer where Deadpool dresses in pink and sits next to a pillow that literally says “feminist” on it, goes out of his way to hire a woman of color to portray the female lead in Deadpool 2, literally hires Celine Dion to write a Titanic-esque power ballad for the Deadpool 2 soundtrack and makes a music video where Deadpool prances around in high heels feeling his fantasy like the gayest gay that ever gayed*

Fuckboi Deadpool stans: 

some fucking resources for all ur writing fuckin needs

* body language masterlist

* a translator that doesn’t eat ass like google translate does

* a reverse dictionary for when ur brain freezes

* 550 words to say instead of fuckin said

* 638 character traits for when ur brain freezes again

* some more body language help

(hope this helps some ppl)

wanna hear a wild story? my brother’s history professor is closing in on 80 and basically lives at the university. one night my brother visited him for a meeting, and it came up that my brother was gonna be performing as a court jester at the castle the following day. and his professor busts out: “ah, that reminds me of my youth!”

he then proceeded to tell the tale of when he and his friends went backpacking to greece back in their early 20s. then one day they found themselves completely penniless. so they decided that the only reasonable thing to do was to set up acrobatic shows in skimpy outfits on the beach at day, and then drink up the money at night.

after a week or so they gained some traction, and a gang of young greek men walked up to them like “hey y’all are cool as hell, can we join y’all for drinks tonight?” and my brother’s professor was like “of course! y’all have to wear these revealing outfits and do somersaults with us tho” and the greek gang said “sounds dope. y’all are invited to live with us for however long y’all want.”

anyhow, they proceeded to live like this for the better part of 3 months, doing shows, drinking, and sleeping at the greek gang’s apartment. but after a while they decided enough was enough, and said thank you for everything, but we’re going back to sweden now. and the greeks said “sure! love y’all have a safe trip xx”

half a year later my brother’s professor gets contacted by the greek police. they ask him about the months they spent in greece, and then informs him that their greek friends have been convicted of serial homicide and robbery. that the group of young greek men had joined up with several tourist groups for several years “for drinks”, and then killed and robbed them all, terrorising the beach city for several years. with one exception, of course, because “this one group of swedish acrobats in slutty strongman suits were just ‘so damn nice’”.

and that’s the story of how one swedish history university professor survived sharing a flat with a group of serial killers for several months by performing acrobatics in slutty outfits on the beach. moral of the story? be kind of heart, thicc of ass.