It's 2:30 AM. I Have Never Tried To Hold My Laugher So Much In My Entire Life!

It's 2:30 AM. I have never tried to hold my laugher so much in my entire life!

Imagine virgin ushijima being a firm believer of "only doing it on the sacred first night of marriage"

entertaining tendou and tormenting his girlfriend to no end at the same time lol

"Thou Shalt Not Smash (Until Married)"

You weren’t religious. You didn’t even really believe in “soulmates.” But clearly, in a past life, you pissed off someone in heaven—because your current boyfriend, Wakatoshi Ushijima, had declared—at the ripe old age of 20—that he would only “lay with a woman on the sacred first night of marriage.”

Yes. He said “lay.” And yes, he meant it.

You blinked at him across the dinner table that fateful day.

“I respect your beliefs,” you’d said, smiling through the emotional damage.

But what you really meant was: I am never knowing peace again.

Let’s get one thing straight: Ushijima was not just “hot.” He was catastrophically hot. A full-course meal with a side of emotional stability and an accidental ability to fold you like a yoga mat just from lifting groceries.

And he had the AUDACITY to be pure.

He kissed you like a man possessed, whispered things like “I want to learn every part of you,” and then proceeded to drop you off at your front door like an Uber driver.

No sleepovers. No touching below the waist. NO HORIZONTAL FELLOWSHIP.

Tendou, of course, made it worse.

“So let me get this straight,” Tendou said, slurping boba during your group hangout. “You’re dating the human embodiment of sex appeal, but you’re not allowed to use him?”

Ushijima: “She is not ‘using’ me.” You: “Tendou please.” Tendou: “Oh no, I support this. It’s like watching a volcano trying not to erupt.”

He leaned closer, smirking. “Tell me, how often does your virtuous mountain get a little... unstable?”

You thought about:

That time Ushijima’s hand brushed your thigh and he excused himself to pray for discipline.

That time he accidentally moaned during a deep kiss and physically LEFT THE PREMISES to go run stairs.

That time you sat on his lap by accident and he said, “I must leave before I betray my soul.”

You looked Tendou dead in the eyes. “He is a danger to himself.”

And oh, how the torment continued.

You wore a crop top one day? Ushijima blushed, stared at the floor, and asked if you were cold.

You cuddled him on movie night? He recited Psalms.

One day, after a particularly steamy make-out session, he gripped your shoulders and said: “We must stop. I’m having thoughts.”

THOUGHTS.

You were dating a medieval monk in a modern athlete’s body.

And then came... The Incident.

You were at his apartment. Alone. Dangerous. Reckless. Living on the edge.

You wore shorts. And his shirt. You were curled up in his lap. He was tense.

You kissed his jaw. He froze. You kissed his throat. He exhaled hard. You kissed his mouth and he groaned—like an injured animal—before jerking back and saying, “I fear the demon within me is stirring.”

You blinked. “The demon??”

He stood. Paced. Looked out the window like a Shakespearean widow. Then, softly: “It whispers... unholy instructions.”

You screamed into a couch cushion.

Later that night:

You texted Tendou in all caps:

YOU HAVE TO GET HIM LAID OR I’M GOING TO DIE TENDOU 🍓: lol what did the demon say this time YOU: THAT I HAVE CURVES THAT LEAD TO RUIN TENDOU: oh he’s GONE LMAO

The worst part? You loved him. Genuinely. But you were a woman on the edge.

Your group of friends made a “Countdown to Marriage” board in your group chat.

Tendou made bingo cards:

Ushijima quotes the Bible ✅

Ushijima leaves to take a cold shower ✅

Ushijima accidentally gets a boner then apologizes to the Lord ✅

Ushijima genuinely considers breaking up to save your chastity ✅✅✅

You hit BINGO every week.

The final straw?

You sent him a photo. A tasteful one. A little flirty. Little wink. Just the edge of cleavage. Nothing wild.

He didn’t reply for 47 minutes.

Then he texted:

“I have thrown my phone in the sink and gone for a run. Please understand.”

You did not.

One week later, in the group chat:

TENDOU 🍓: update: ushijima saw a victoria’s secret ad and whispered “the flesh is weak” like he’s in a renaissance play SHIRABU: we’re not gonna survive this, are we REON: why is he like this YOU: because God is testing me and I’m failing

In conclusion:

Being Ushijima’s girlfriend is like dating a noble king who wants to honor your soul, but your soul just wants to get absolutely destroyed.

And somewhere, in the shadows, Tendou watches it all like it's his favorite reality show.

TO BE CONTINUED… WHEN MARRIAGE HAPPENS (2069)

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just-browsing-on-the-internet

2 years ago

Damn.. if only this could have happend

Thinking about Eddie with the kids playing DnD after school at the aforementioned building and getting roped into a game of Truth or Dare even though he’s aware playing a game other than DnD with some nosy kids isn’t a very smart thing to do in the first place.

But Jeff and Gareth are pretty convincing, so there’s that too. Eddie just can’t say no to free lunch for a whole week, now can he? What harm could a game of Truth or Dare do anyways, right?

In hindsight, Eddie should’ve known the universe isn’t going easy on him.

“Eddie, Truth or Dare?” Dustin asks with a huge grin on his face.

That kid is just way too happy about the fact Eddie is participating. It’s a little suspicious.

“Well, I’m no quitter, sooo…” Eddie is stretching the last word, punctuating his decision with a flat hand thumped down on the wooden table, “Dare it is.”

Dustin giggles all excited. “You have to kiss the first person who enters this room on the mouth!”

A chorus of ‘ewww’ and evil laughs with fingers pointing in his direction goes through the round.

Eddie smirks before he shrugs. “Alright, yeah”, he says, fully aware no one will come through these doors since it’s well past school time and no adults are around whatsoever, “If someone walks in here, I’ll do it.” He emphasizes the ‘if’ with a satisfied grin.

Dustin cocks his head, looks at the watch on his wrist and says loud, “three… two… one-“

Suddenly the door bursts open.

“Henderson! What the hell man!? I told you to be outside on time!” Steve’s standing in his usual mom pose, shooting daggers at the kids.

Dustin sighs happily, “always reliable”, before his gaze shifts from Steve to Eddie, still grinning. “No quitter, right, Eddie?”

Eddie sits frozen in his chair, looking at Steve and can’t believe his (bad) luck. He looks at Dustin. “You little shit! You planned this!?” Eddie whisper-shouts accusingly.

Dustin just shrugs triumphantly and makes some gestures for Eddie to get moving.

Eddie gets up abruptly, sending the chair flying back with an uncomfortable screeching sound and more or less stomps around the table, over to where Steve stands.

Now it’s Steve who’s frozen, eyebrows pinching together. “Uh, hey man, you good?” He’s clearly lost of what’s going on.

Eddie wants to get it over with, like ripping off a bandaid and already braces himself to be punched in the face or shoved away. Eddie halts right in front of Steve, who put his hands for safety in front of him, confused as hell.

“Whow, Eddie, wha-“

Eddie quickly grabs Steve by the neck as gently as possible, taking in the confused brown eyes Steve gives him.

“Don’t hate me for this, Big Boy”, he breathes out before leaning in, thinking ‘fuck it’, since it could be his last time with Steve ever again, maybe even losing him as a friend, and seals both of their lips in a soft kiss. Eddie deepens the unresponsive kiss by pressing harder into him, squeezing his own eyes shut in fear of a fist to his face.

To his surprise Steve let’s out a little sound and kisses back-

No wait, what!?

Eddie feels how Steve grabs onto his vest and pulls him closer, licking into the metalhead’s mouth. It was Eddie’s turn now to make a surprising sound, practically whimpering.

When they break apart both of them look flushed, staring into each other’s eyes, completely stunned.

Loud cheering and a chorus of “Fucking finally!” erupts behind them.

Eddie didn’t know if he should be angry with Dustin or relieved the kiss went better than he could’ve ever imagine.

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just-browsing-on-the-internet

2 months ago

I have daily headaches that can scale up to a 8 of 10 in pain. Hope it works 🤗

reblog to give your headache to elon musk instead

138K notes View Post

just-browsing-on-the-internet

2 years ago

29 days until my birthday! Turing 23! And yet I still feel like a child 😂

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just-browsing-on-the-internet

10 months ago

Best series I've ever read 😍

FINISHED SERIES - completed July 2024

Summary: There's no turning back now, not when you know what you left behind. A dangerous situation now replaced with another. After the omegas disappeared you have to extra careful, especially now that you have left your pack and family. What happens when your car breaks down on another pack's land?

Chan x reader (y/n) x ot8

ABO!Nonidol!SKZ Alternate Universe

Series Warnings: Fem reader, Smut, verryyyy nsfw, chan x reader, OT8 x reader, A/B/O, m/m/f smut, possessive! SKZ, possessive! Reader, anxiety and depression, fluff, angst, virgin!reader, reader is a CRYBABY, cursing, violence, pet names, dom/sub dynamics, Sub reader x mostly dom SKZ, misogyny and sexism, Ateez are depicted as terrible people (sorry Atiny!)

Meet the pack

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11