LMAO

They came from somewhere beyond Pluto. 

 They had many questions. 

 “You affix metal and wires to your teeth…use needles to inject portraits into your skin…stab your flesh with shards of metal…remove your hair with lasers…cut patterns into your faces…burn yourselves…remove fat and break your noses and inject diseases into yourselves willingly. Why?” 

And we answered “For beauty.” 

 Fireworks confused them. “These horrible explosions, with their colors and patterns? Is this an act of war, or is it in worship of some god?” 

 We answered, “No. It is in celebration.” 

Explaining vaccines was difficult. “You give yourself disease on purpose? You force it into your blood with needles? Why?” 

We answered, “To teach our bodies to resist it.” 

 They felt awe at our true wars. At our missiles that harnessed the power found in stars, at our weapons that spread poison and disease, at our flying machines that destroyed thousands while we flew them from continents away. They asked, “For what reasons do you go to war?” 

We answered, “To gain money and resources, to exact revenge, to impose and uphold faith and ideology, and, now and then, on our best days, to answer a cry for help.” 

 They asked us, “The moon is barren, and yet you went. Mount Everest is a deadly place, and yet you go. The ocean is vast and frightful and travel to its depths is near impossible, and yet you are trying to dive. Why?”

 We answered, “To show that we could, to show that we can, to show that we will.”   

They asked, “Why?” 

We answered, “Because how dare there be questions unanswered, realms unexplored, lands unconquered. How dare this reality not fall under our command. We will rule this universe or we will die trying.”

They didn’t come back, and no others dare visit. 

 That’s alright. 

 We’ll find them.

Have I posted this yet

How to use Loki dialogue in everyday life:

Dad: Have you seen my phone?

You: I sent it off, I know not where.

Sister: Will you wash the dishes?

Me: No. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to destroy Jotunheim.

Friend: You're so crazy.

Me: Is it madness? IS IT?

Friend: I would tell you this secret, but I promised not to--

Me: TELL MEEEEE!!!

Sister: Is Dad awake yet?

Me: Father has fallen into the Odin sleep. Mother fears he may never awaken again.

Sister: Hey, remember that time when we were kids and--

Me: I remember a shadow. Living in the shade of your greatness.

Mom: Stop changing channels--

Me: It's too late to stop it. The Bifrost will build until Jotunheim is ripped apart.

---------

WTF?

This is so fucking brilliant! In a hilarious way! XD

DA FUCK XDDD

I’ll never not be amused by the fact that I can drop the words “crucifix nail nipples” into a conversation and some of you who have been with me since the livejournal days will join me in the flashbacks, screaming and crying all the way.

21 People Who Forgot A Word And Just Made Some Shit Up

You guys are all sleeping on One Day at a Time

I don’t know why more people aren’t talking about this show???? It is a genuinely great show that deals with important social issues unlike any other show I’ve ever seen.

The majority of the shows main characters are Cuban, that’s right, almost entirely PoC. There is one only white main-ish character.

It deals with mental illness. The mother suffers from PTSD after serving in the army. She is never belittled or made to seem weak. She is a strong woman who is portrayed as more than her illness. The show even shows her taking the steps she needs to help herself.

One of the main characters is a feminist teenage lesbian. 

Once she comes out her whole family supports her. Her mother struggles to come to terms with it but never lets her daughter know, instead she educates herself and eventually fully accepts it. Her grandmother, a devout christian, struggles as well for all of 20 seconds before she destroys the argument that being gay goes against god in a few short sentences

The white character is a rich white straight dude but is also a nice guy. Not a Nice Guy™ but an actual nice guy. He sometimes says/does racist and sexist things but is quickly corrected by either himself or other characters.

The show also deals with issues like illegal and legal immigration, racism and sexism. 

In short, this show is sent from fucking heaven and idk why more people aren’t talking about it. Go watch it