桜
Tom, WTF are you doing ?
Near a babyfoot in a random empty red painted place ???
Come on ! XD
They came from somewhere beyond Pluto.
They had many questions.
“You affix metal and wires to your teeth…use needles to inject portraits into your skin…stab your flesh with shards of metal…remove your hair with lasers…cut patterns into your faces…burn yourselves…remove fat and break your noses and inject diseases into yourselves willingly. Why?”
And we answered “For beauty.”
Fireworks confused them. “These horrible explosions, with their colors and patterns? Is this an act of war, or is it in worship of some god?”
We answered, “No. It is in celebration.”
Explaining vaccines was difficult. “You give yourself disease on purpose? You force it into your blood with needles? Why?”
We answered, “To teach our bodies to resist it.”
They felt awe at our true wars. At our missiles that harnessed the power found in stars, at our weapons that spread poison and disease, at our flying machines that destroyed thousands while we flew them from continents away. They asked, “For what reasons do you go to war?”
We answered, “To gain money and resources, to exact revenge, to impose and uphold faith and ideology, and, now and then, on our best days, to answer a cry for help.”
They asked us, “The moon is barren, and yet you went. Mount Everest is a deadly place, and yet you go. The ocean is vast and frightful and travel to its depths is near impossible, and yet you are trying to dive. Why?”
We answered, “To show that we could, to show that we can, to show that we will.”
They asked, “Why?”
We answered, “Because how dare there be questions unanswered, realms unexplored, lands unconquered. How dare this reality not fall under our command. We will rule this universe or we will die trying.”
They didn’t come back, and no others dare visit.
That’s alright.
We’ll find them.
TRUUUUUUUUUUE
In French, we don’t say “ninety nine”, we say “quatre vingt dix neuf” which roughly translates to “I’ve never heard of a functional numeric system before” and I think that’s beautiful
i be like “writing isn’t my passion” but then proceed to spend every waking hour and even the occasional dream thinking abt a new plot or concept, read essays and the journals of popular authors, literally consume any written material available to me, once stayed up until 2 am three nights in a row to work on a draft that has never seen the light of day, and spend nearly every second of my free time plotting, planning, or writing fics & then tell everyone it’s just a hobby to me
when the chinese see black folk in china
woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:
vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)
which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.
luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.
why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.
vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.
then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.
which then require months of further specialized treatment.
the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage
vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.
the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!
it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!
which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s
Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.
today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar
if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!
in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!
(src)