Is This Anything

HAPPY PRIDE Y'ALL

in my local queer bar someone graffitied the single occupancy disabled stall sign* to read “quadruple occupancy” and i’m so fucking done.

*grafitti on the bathroom doors is perfectly normal and encouraged at this bar. the issue is vandalizing a disabled stall with a joke about misusing it to fuck.

i pointed it out and how fucking upsetting it is to have our fucking BATHROOMS be the butt of endless jokes about drugs and sex and uncleanliness and laziness CONSTANTLY. it’s fucking insulting to have the active misuse of the only place a cripple can fucking pee be treated as a haha funny by people who don’t suffer from it and in fact often PERPETRATE that.

when i brought up that it’s way less funny when you’ve had those jokes made to you constantly when you’re just trying to piss—a right constantly denied to cripples—an abled person just went “yeah, we’ve all been in middle school!”

they didn’t respond when i said “oh, so you’ve been a middle schooler with a wheelchair?”

ableist abuse from peers was a major factor in my losing my right to education, and the rest of it was not being given basic accomodations. i’m not interested in entertaining it from grown-ass adults.

(also, given that tonight is, i shit you not, TRANS NIGHT, you’d think people would have an idea of how humiliating and shitty it is to have the only bathroom you can use mocked and misused for sex.)

Here are some facts about the aspec community whereas if you struggle to grasp or comprehend them, you probably still have some amatonormativity / allonormativity to unlearn:

Asexual people can have and desire romantic relationships even if sex is off the table for them.

Some asexual people like sexual content in fiction but not in real life.

There's a difference between an aroallo person and a non-committal cishet. No your cheating ex boyfriend who only cares about sex isn't automatically aromantic.

Being aroallo is not synonymous with a high libido.

Queerplatonic relationships can look exactly like an allonormative romantic relationship and not be one because things like kissing etc. aren't inherently romantic.

Asexual people can wear and like clothing that is revealing or commonly regarded as sexual without it meaning that they desire sex.

NOTHING but literal intercourse is inherently sexual. Kissing isn't inherently sexual. Not even french-kissing or making out. Neck kisses aren't inherently sexual. Flirting isn't inherently sexual. Hell, I only found out like two weeks ago that some people, even in the ace community, consider these things to be inherently sexual.

No form of affection is inherently romantic either. Kissing isn't inherently romantic. Hand-holding isn't inherently romantic. Cuddling isn't inherently romantic. Even all of these things in combination aren't automatically indicative of a romantic relationship.

You define whether something is sexual or romantic to YOU. This does not mean it is to everyone else.

Some aspecs just don't want a partner at all

Some aspecs aren't aromantic but don't mind not having a partner either.

A QPR isn't the only other option aside from platonic or romantic relationships. A QPR also isn't romance lite or the aro version of a romantic relationship.

Being demisexual or gray ace doesn't automatically make someone sex-favorable

Frayromantic people feel romantic attraction until they develop a close bond with the person. The romantic attraction fading does NOT necessarily mean they care about that person less or don't desire a committed relationship with them because relationships and attraction isn't hierarchical.

Some people don't want to engage with sexual content at all.

If you read these and you realize these never occurred to you or that you have been assuming some things, that's not a judgement of you. We all have internalized allonormativity and amatonormativity. It just means there's work to do.

pure love

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it's always "i don't judge !!" until a person is a therian or just alterhuman in general, their religion is something they don't agree with or don't see as a "real or a valid" religion [like satanism or autotheism], they identify with xenogenders and use neopronouns or xenopronouns, they have a unique style like emo, scene, goth, or harajuku fashion, they're disabled, they act childish and age regresses, they have extreme intrusive thoughts, they have "cringe" interests or hyperfixations, they don't have proper hygiene because of poor mental health, their identity "doesn't make any sense", they're "too fat" or "too skinny", or they're just "not attractive" stop cherry picking, you can't claim "you don't judge" when you can't accept these people, please be better ^-^ /gen

Quick reminder that you don't need a solid sexuality! You can just be in love! Or not be in love! Or have a gender! Labels are a choice, not a requirement. All you need to do is be someone you like being! If labels help with that, great! But they are not required. You don't owe it to anyone, so don't feel pressured to choose labels if they aren't your thing!

art dump idk

oh wow, surprisingly it’s not a shitpost this time

hai I’m back from the dead