Latest Posts by jugglingbayonets - Page 3

Love imagining nations at their meetings. Like oh look at their little assigned seats with their little cup of water and their little name plate with their little flag pin!

Aww they're showing off their little slideshows at their little podium! Oh no! England and France are having a little fight! Oh and America has a little plan to save the planet! And he broke the little podium with his fist!

Oh, and Germany has a little migraine! He's going to count to ten in his head because of what his little anger management coach taught him!

Oh and now they're on their little lunch break! They packed their little national dishes for lunch!

And the cycle repeats.

i love stoner NA bros so much. the idea of alfred and mattie just eyes glazed on the couch eating doritos and nacho dip while watching kitchen nightmares (because as alfred puts it, being yelled at in a british accent is comforting) and cackling every time gordon ramsey reminds them of arthur.

Will we burn inside the fires of a thousand suns？

⁺✧.(੭ˊᵕˋ)っς(ˊᵕˋ)੭.✧⁺

america goes to therapy.

countryhumans lore snippet: america has the uncanny ability to pick up on any countrys accent and language simply by hanging around them talking. after an hour or two he can copy someones accent near perfectly and after a few more hours to a day he can speak their language fluently. this has earned him the nickname of "the fae" with the norse countries.

this is because america has no official language and is an amalgamation of lots of different cultures. which together gives him this ability.

Y’all give me stuff to draw

aesthetic

explain your gender in 10 words or less without using boring words like “male”, “female”, “nonbinary”, “masculine”, “feminine” or “androgynous”.

go!

I love the idea that a nation's accent changes depending on what region they're in. Like plop America down south and give him a few months. Soon, he'll be gliding his vowels and merging pin-pen to sound the same.

Does it happen gradually, or does he switch mid-sentence like a voice crack? The former makes more logical sense, but the latter is more comedic.

Oh imagine if England had a Scouse accent. That makes me wonder if he's not allowed to stay in certain regions for too long because his boss wants him to sound "posh". I imagine America's boss is more lenient because he can't control him as much, but he probably faces the same attitude. Just let my guy have a southern accent :(

first time posting my art jk i posted my art a long time ago but i got embarrassed and deleted the post but hey 3d times the charm right?

"Cellar with supplies" Soviet Union c. 1970s

2p “insidious capitalist“ 😈💰🇺🇸

2p "devoted communist" ☭

Happy Thanksgiving from all of us here at ask-aph-axis! Be sure to leave a comment and tell us what you’re thankful for this year :)

Mun is thankful for all of her friends in the hetalia community, this place wouldn’t be nearly as fun without all of you!

the happy treason day tweets on july 4th are ok tho

Incredible, no notes.

Edit:

So,so corny I love it 😭😭😭

Reading this is insane, the thought of England panicking about the imminent rise of American hegemony and deciding that the best way to deal with it is to fuck and marry Americans is absolutely hilarious 😭😭😭 like "yes please give all of your rich beautiful daughters to our politicians and nobleman so we can tie you to us forever 😀" and the fact that it kind of worked because Winston Churchill was born from such a union and basically founded the Special Relationship between the UK and US that's still going strong today from joint military operations to five eyes to cultural influence that bounces back and forth across Atlantic, what a mad man

the man with the fullest calendar

(Ramadan Mubarak!!)

Broke (Canon): the states are also people

Woke: America has slightly over 50 Americas rattling around his brain and that’s why he’s like that

best of friends

Saw a comment that said when the CIA is training American spy's, that one of the big habits that has to be broken is the American habit of leaning on things. Leaning on door frames, leaning on cars, leaning their bodyweight on a table or desk. America is a nation of leaners.

Now imaging that Alfred is a habitual leaner. Doesn't even realize he is doing it. If he even recognizes that he dose it, just sees it as a casual and comfortable stance. One that shows he isn't on edge.

Yet there is a decades long debate at the UN and G8 meetings about if Alfred knowingly leans on peoples desks as an intimidation tactic or he really is simply redistributing his weight

*modern trench warfare being used for the first time in a major conflict during the American civil war*

*trench warfare leaving mental scars on Alfred that takes years of healing to move past*

Alfred showing up to Europe and seeing they somehow made trench warfare worse

idk if i will finish this and by finish i mean draw the next 20 seconds of this song to rusame suicide pact (update i finishd it 🤤)

I wonder if Alfred ever dusts off his law degree (s) and goes plays lawyer for a bit 

I'm thinking he either finds the funniest most insane lawsuit filed and picks it up or he works for free for some smaller case that he cares about but knows the person won't have the money for a proper fancy lawyer 

Or or imagine in a public knowledge AU and you are in night court when the judge says, "oh look your government appointed lawyer is here" and you turn around its just the fucking United States of America because he got in trouble during a recent trip to Las Vegas and congress is having him work as a public defender for the next 6 months to earn back his credit cards and to prove to them he understands what public indecency laws are

Love child character in 2024

My Hetalia state oc!! He’s one of the semi fleshed out state oc’s I’ve made // hetalia au where Alfred and Ivan are domestic and raise the states [what who said that??]

imo a deeply important part of Alfred’s personality I feel like I should see but rarely do is his desire to be left the fuck alone. yes of course he’s a social butterfly but let’s be real: throughout the entirety of US history, Americans have wanted nothing more than extended Salutary Neglect from beginning of the colonies and we still try to go back to relative isolation now- now as in today, as in America First, etc. I think it’s fucking engrained. Americans expanded via conquest and colonization until we only had to deal with two neighbors (or, if you want to be an asshole about it, one neighbor and Canada, so 1 ½ neighbors) and a lot of people still bitch about not being isolated enough, we tried to keep out of both world wars, and in general we just kinda hate cooperating with others. one of the three main reasons for NATO’s existence is explicitly to keep the US from isolating and abandoning Europe again because boy do we fucking want to literally all the time.

so imo yeah Alfred genuinely loves socializing but his real passion in life is being left the fuck alone to do whatever hobby/business/productive thing he wants to do without being interrupted. this man has ADHD and just wants to hyperfocus in peace.

I love characterizations of Alfred that aren't impulsive or violent - but instead cast him as the most pragmatic, practical, material person alive. I'll try to elaborate later when I have time but historically, the first and foremost American tool of problem solving has always, always been economic. economic warfare is an American artform and you can't change my mind; Alfred is much, much less likely to resort to violence than he is to, say, leave his enemies utterly destitute. the Cold War (especially Cuba), the Suez Canal Crisis, the trade war with China, the utterly bonkers sanctions on Russia? the USD is the international standard for trade and the US banned Russia from using it at all, even in their own banks. and then there's the whole export ban on China, which is a very big dick power move that may possibly result in WW3 but we'll see. the British didn't tell us about the Suez Canal deal so we threatened to destroy their economy and currency in retaliation. Cold War embargoes on the USSR intended to cripple their ability to manufacture for their military, embargoes on Cuba to cripple any geographic threat to the mainland. Alfred believes military strength is all well and good but the real power in this world is money.

Okay but Alfred just being The Heir; not just to William, not just to François, but to basically all of Europe. Cause goodness they hate him sometimes but if he ain’t a collective result.

Alfred, as a character and not just a nation, is very intriguing. He’s his brother’s greatest achievement and his greatest disappointment. A failure, but a winner. Put up on a pedal stool from a young age to show off to the rest of the world. He was a catch that everyone wanted, and when he finally got caught, he was paraded around and boasted about like a fancy prize.

People wanted him, but gave up on him as soon as the odds turned against their favor. His family loves the image of him that they created, but are indifferent to how he really is. Rotating between awe and pity and nothing in between. His friends either act like he’s a nuisance or hang off his arm.

He’s needed but scorned. Wanted but pushed away as soon as he’s done with the task, and having them act as they never asked for his help in the first place. As a person, it’s hard not to feel bad for him.

Reworking Alfred’s entire character

I’m obsessed with this stupid son of a bitch, let’s get into it

I think too many people make him too uwu nice and forgiving as if most Americans don’t hold life long grudges over a ball game. Or that we can’t be serious at the drop of a hat when it comes down to it. Like when we say fuck around and find out we mean it, which apparently that’s a very American thing. Yes the dumb bitch stereotype is real, but there’s such a “you’re joking right?” attitude among people when it comes to certain things that I think he could go from playful to serious in a second, to the point where it might trip some people up. Especially when it comes to moral issues.

Also I hate that him being super obsessed with his image and how he’s seen by others is interpreted as sad uwu emo boy instead of clean girl maniac Patrick Bateman type of egotistical freak.

He should also be more apathetic and serious about work instead of “omg let’s build a ladder to the moon!” You have not set foot in this capitalistic hellscape if you think that’s an accurate way to characterize him lmao.

On top of that, he’s a fake ass bitch and that should be expanded on. Like he is definitely the type of person that has a million different ways of presenting himself and his personality to the point where he’s not sure who he really is.

He should be a lot more ego driven too. Like “how is this going to reflect on ME” not “I’m doing this ONLY out of the goodness of my big heart uwu”. Not that he can’t or doesn’t care, but if it reflects well on him then he’s more likely to choose that option.

Anyway, this is just some of my thoughts, im sure I’ll add more in the future

(If you characterize him differently that’s fine this is just me rambling and being obsessed)