Stonehands - Balance And Composure (x)

i wanna date someone and live with them in a shitty apartment but be happy about it because we are happy together and we can decorate it with stupid dorky posters of shit we like and anime figurines and art and we can cook weird recipes we found on the internet and eat them and watch anime or cartoons even if the food is gross because we made it and we’re perfect

Douche

Im special, like a snow flake

#feminism #me #dont put me down #proving cabada wrong

Whenever I feel down I look at your cute selfies because seeing your face brightens my day

Get married for the tax break

I’M KINKSHAMING PLANKTON

the john to my yoko

Toastradamus Predictions 2016

Ranch dressing will over take butter as the #1 toast topping.

Science will discover syrup is even stickier than we could have ever imagined.

You’ll get your money, Dan. Relax. Just give me until April. You know I’m good for it.

Spoons will become sentient and shepherd humanity into a utopian existence.

Forks will become sentient and ruin it all.

Katie will grow out her bangs.

Humpty Dumpty conspiracy theorists will rejoice when a black box recording surfaces, telling the full story.

You’ll keep writing 2015 on checks until at least mid-February.

when u like someone and ur stomach feels like 🌹🌹🌹🌼🌼🌸🌺🌺🌺🌸✨✨🌙⭐️🌟🌟🌤🌤☀️🌙💫✨✨☄🌙

Practice Safe Sex. Tie your partner down to the bed so they don't fall off.