Gold Seed Pod Necklace, Greek, 2nd-1st Century BC

currently crying over ancient humans and how the drive to create art and tell stories is literally ingrained into our DNA. how our species loves so deeply and mourns our dead so tenderly that we laid them to rest in beds of wildflowers, curled up like they were going to sleep for the final time. How children, when walking in mud and sand would tamp down their footprints and look at the marks they left. That in caves, small hands are on the ceiling because a loved one lifted the child up to decorate their home like we lift little kids up to decorate a Christmas tree or their bedroom walls. the fact that art was one of the first things to be created for our own enjoyment fills me with a feeling I don’t know how to describe. If I wasn’t going into illustration, I’d be an archeologist because I can think of nothing more amazing than uncovering the threads that weave the timeline of humanity together. I will never know these ancient humans and it makes my heart ache. The fact that we, hundreds of thousands of years in the future, are able to look back and see ourselves in those who never could have imagined what today is like is the coolest feeling ever.

I need someone to be the 21 to my Drake

POV: You're about to discover something important just happened in the world

Your daily dose of cat memes

Ranting about the slimecicle cinematic universe because it’s arguably better than the dream smp. Aka why Schlatt is the ultimate puppetmaster of the Slimecicle cinematic multiverse.

So Jschlatt is basically confirmed to have survived being destroyed by Charlie Slimecicle in “Minecraft but every five minutes there’s a natural disaster” and seems to be wandering the multiverse.

He appears before Charlie several times posing as a shopkeeper and is responsible for a large amount of things that happen in this universe.

The first time he appears, he addresses Charlie by name, despite Charlie mentioning that he has no clue who Schlatt is and offers Charlie some drugs that might not even be drugs but rather some unpronounceable substance that no mortal can comprehend, considering the fact the every attempt to speak it’s name gets redacted. He and his shop then disappear.

The second time he appears, he warns Charlie about some upcoming events, and keeps mentioning storms, possibly foreshadowing the fact that Schlatt is the same “Demon of the Storm” that’s able to control the weather and might even be the one causing the worsening natural disasters that plague Charlie as he attempts to reach day 100. He and his shop then disappear.

The third time he appears, he’s given up on appearing normal, and tells this Charlie about the events of “Minecraft but every five minutes there’s a natural disaster” (or “MBEFMTAND” for short ) before Charlie asks him what he is and he answers with complete gibberish that Charlie cannot understand, before offering him a golden apple.

This is very important because in “MBEFMTAND” Schlatt gives Charlie a golden apple before he begins destroying the world, which Charlie eats, causing him to become an entity similar to Schlatt, which we know because Charlie was the only person capable of standing against Schlatt and eventually banishing him.

But this isn’t the same Charlie as “MBEFMTAND”. This is a completely different universe with a completely different Charlie. We know this because this Charlie has no idea who Schlatt is even after he’s given a vision of the MBEFMTAND universe. This Charlie is also incapable of understanding Schlatt’s explanation of what he is, presumably because that is forbidden knowledge that cannot be understood by mortals. MBEFMTAND Charlie has already eaten the golden apple and would therefore be able to understand it.

After giving his uncomprehendible explanation, he offers this universe’s Charlie a golden apple which would presumably make Charlie into a being just like him, and probably make his explanation make sense instead of sounding like a random string of words.

And Charlie refuses to eat the apple.

Also worth mentioning now is the fact that Schlatt is responsible for just about everything that happens in this new universe.

In the beginning, the Scientist (he never mentions his name and is only referred to as “The Mad Scientist” in the credits) and Tommy created a machine called the Deus Project.

The Deus Project is capable of both accessing other universes and editing the main universe that it’s located in. During the first test, Tommy was sent to another universe that I’m just going to call “the zombie universe” and came back infected with a zombie virus, causing the apocalypse.

There are two things that I should mention about the zombie universe.

It can only be reached using the Deus Project.

The Deus Project is powered by the Deus Charge, which automatically locks onto the zombie universe and needs to be actively calibrated to prevent it from always accessing the zombie universe.

Schlatt is able to access the zombie universe at will and seems to be at his strongest when inside.

When Tommy came back from the zombie universe, he wasn’t just patient zero. He was something else entirely. Capable of commanding Zombies, summoning Zombies, turning himself invisible/teleportation using a mysterious potion and became completely immortal when outside the zombie universe. All of those things, especially the invisibility/teleportation potion, are things that Schlatt is capable of doing. We see him using invisibility in MBEFMTAND and he teleports him and his entire shop constantly. Schlatt also has connections to the zombie universe.

So there’s a good chance that Tommy made a deal with Schlatt while he was in the Zombie universe. Considering the fact that Charlie has no way back when he sends himself to the zombie dimension, that deal may have been how Tommy returned home.

Then there’s the Deus Charge.

The Deus Charge is presumably what allows the Deus Project to access and distort other realities. It automatically locks onto the zombie universe and requires special equipment to stop it from always sending things to the zombie universe.

This is a bit of a stretch, but keep in mind that Deus is the Latin word for god or deity, and it always connects to the zombie universe. Now who’s a god in the SCM (Slimecicle cinematic multiverse) with connections to the zombie universe?

That right, Schlatt.

So Schlatt may have been responsible for the creation of the Deus Project and the apocalypse it caused.

“But why is Schlatt even IN the zombie dimension anyways?” I hear none of you ask. Well, at the end of MBEFMTAND, Charlie banishes Schlatt from the realm, presumably sending him back to whatever godless dimension he came from, before ascending to godhood and trying to rebuild the world that Schlatt destroyed, leading to the events of “the hardest Minecraft difficulty”

Schlatt never appears in that dimension again, but does briefly resurface in another dimension, where “Minecraft but the blocks fight back” is taking place, presumably possessing or replacing the Schlatt that already existed there. He allows the Charlie of that universe to use his powers a couple times and eventually leaves on his own. However, this probably isn’t canon.

What I’ll consider canon in the SCM is anything that is considered a cinematic video. Meaning a longer video with actual lore.

Meaning that Minecraft but every 5 minutes there’s a natural disaster, the HARDEST Minecraft difficulty and We spent 100 days in a Minecraft hardcore apocalypse are the only real canonical parts of the SCM. Everything else is just referencing it.

“But where did Schlatt go when he was banished?” I still hear no one ask because no one but me actually cares about something this specific. Simple, he was sent to the zombie universe, and eventually either escaped on his own or convinced the Scientist and Tommy to build the Deus Project so he could escape through their universe.

Schlatt even influenced the people that Charlie interacted with over the course of the 100 days. Wizly, the wizard that Charlie meets near the end of his journey, is shown to be capable of accessing the zombie universe, and might have originally gotten his magic via a deal with Schlatt a couple thousand years ago.

He also gave the Scientist some of that eldritch substance he offered to Charlie, who used it on some zombies and created the rippers.

Schlatt was definitely the reason that the Deus Project exploded after being fixed. We’ve already established that he was responsible for at least some part of its creation, and he probably doesn’t like the idea of some random guy being able to bend reality at will. That’s HIS job.

And then there’s the very beginning of Charlie’s journey. When he wakes up in a zombie filled laboratory with no memory of how he got there. The laboratory looks similar to the Scientist’s lab, but the scientist didn’t create it. The laboratory also got completely annihilated by a meteor, Aka a natural disaster that Schlatt has control over. So Schlatt was most likely responsible for Charlie waking up at all.

But why?

So he can get Charlie to eat the apple.

Schlatt controls just about everything that happens during Charlie’s journey and eventually, on day 99, when Charlie is at his lowest point, he offers him the golden apple. The change to become a god just like him. To understand the true secrets of the universe.

And Charlie refuses.

So Schlatt makes sure that Charlie MAY see day 100, but he won’t see anything beyond it. Fixing the Deus Project just enough for Charlie to send himself and Tommy to the zombie universe, before watching Charlie be killed. Tying up every lose end that could prove his existence. The Scientist that he spoke to directly is dead, Tommy, who he made a deal with is dead and Charlie, who he spoke to and guided the most is dead.

He may have failed to get Charlie to eat the apple, but he still got the last laugh.

"oh sorry, i guess i was infodumping again" - sad, shy, apologetic

"you sly dog, you got me monologuing" - cool, strong, confident

Huge red flag when someone's bio doesn't include their street address, work hours, and the location of their spare key

"old friends" is an underrated relationship dynamic because it's such an innocent boring sounding term for what is usually some of the wildest shit imaginable. it's always like 'oh yeah we go way back, we have history' and then you find out that history includes sex, drugs, murder, divorce, war crimes and The Incident

make that 8. im giving in

One of my mutuals reposted the same post so many times I’ve been scrolling for 5 minutes and in between random shit it keeps popping up I’m losing my mind. if I have to see howls pooping butthole one more time idk what I’ll do but I’ll do it with tenacity