Joonsdiiimple - (bon)anne

And I oop-

Hi, i'm not so active here but I have notifications on to see my favorite blogs, and this morning I noticed that I wasn't getting notifications so I was like ¿¿

I opened the app and I had to log out and in again MY HEART- I WAS- idk, I thought my blog was terminated, oof.

Drink water or i'll go and make you drink water

Some time ago my mum gave me pills for calming me down at school after the breakdown I had. And it was oof, my head was moving but my body wasn't responding, I felt like shit but I wasn't able to feel anything.

I was looking at my classmates dancing like:

I'm sorry, hope y'all having a good night

(Day 41: April 24)

THANK YOU, CLASSMATE WHO KNOWS MY TUMBLR, LOVE OF MY LIFE WHO TOLD YOU TO LAUGH OF MY DISTURBING SITUATION *Translation* Me: Man, I'm scared:(, Many porn-dating spam tumblr follow me:(. Some tumblrs are of anas, but aAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, I'm scared:( Classmate: *lAUGH ABOUT MY DISTURBING SITUATION* Me: DON'T LAUGH ABOUT MY MISFORTUNE SITUATIONS>:( Classmate: I'm sorry, I love you, but it maked me laugh I LOVE YOU BUT STOPPPP:(((((

Well at lest he kept it open as an option !!

Me: -Weigh myself- mOM I GAINED WEIGHT

My mom:

/ / / / / / / / / / / /

Yo: -pesandome- maMA SUBÍ DE PESO

Mi mamá:

"But I can't have an eating disorder BECAUSE..."

“I eat too much!” There is no maximum calorie limit for eating disorders. An eating disorder is not about what you eat, but how you eat- your feelings/thoughts about your body and your intake.

“I’m not underweight!” The majority of people who develop an eating disorder will never become underweight. The only disorder that is diagnosed based partially on weight is anorexia- and for that, if you’re an average weight but meet every other criteria, you’ll still be diagnosed with ‘atypical anorexia nervosa’. It doesn’t mean you aren’t sick or that you don’t need help.

“I don’t meet the anorexia/bulimia guidelines!” OSFED (formerly known as EDNOS) is not a ‘failed’ eating disorder. It is every bit as serious as anorexia or bulimia. It is also the most commonly diagnosed eating disorder, meaning more people have this than anorexia or bulimia.

“I don’t make myself sick!” Vomiting is only one form of purging. You can have bulimia, anorexia or OSFED/ARFID and not make yourself sick.

“I still eat!” So does everybody else. You can’t photosynthesise, after all. Even people with eating disorders eat.

“I feel like a fake/ a fraud!” So does basically every single other eating disordered person. This is a really, really, really, really common feeling. You might feel guilty for ‘misleading’ other people into believing the problem is more serious than it is, or feel like you’re overblowing things. That’s totally normal and it is not true. You are not a fake or a fraud.

“I eat things that no real anorexic would eat!” I have known eating disordered patients with these safe foods: chocolate, frozen meat pizza, fruit, ice cream cones, potatoes, granola I have known eating disordered patients with these fear foods: : chocolate, frozen meat pizza, fruit, ice cream cones, potatoes, granola Safe/fear foods are not based on logic or reason. They are individualised. There are even people who don’t have any fear foods- they’ll eat anything, they’ll just feel crappy and purge it/ restrict afterwards. All of the experiences described here are those of a person with an eating disorder.

“I’ve never been inpatient!” Neither have most eating disorder sufferers.

“I’ve never been tube fed!” Neither have most eating disorder sufferers.

“I’ve never been near death!” Neither have most eating disorder sufferers.

“My blood work/ blood pressure is fine! Eating disorders affect different bodies in different ways. Some people find their blood work suffers; others find their blood pressure or pulse dips; others find that, whilst they’re suffering hugely mentally, their bodies hold up well. This is not a measure of how ‘sick’ you are. All of these things- weight, bp, pulse etc- are just symptoms of the sickness. The sickness is in your head.

“I don’t feel sick enough.” You never will. Sorry. “I’m not sick enough!” is one of the most common ED thoughts there is; please don’t listen to it. It is a lie. Do not compare your misery to someone else’s; nobody with stage I cancer says ‘yeah, but that person is a stage III, so I’m not really that bad and I won’t get any treatment yet’.

“I still get my period!” ‘Period loss’ has been removed from the DSM as necessary for a diagnosis of anorexia, and no other eating disorder requires it. It was viewed as a flawed measure of illness, and so it has been removed. Whether or not you get your period is not an indication of how ill you are.

“But I binge eat without throwing up” Binge eating disorder is a newly added eating disorder in the DSM, where people eat large amounts of food in an ‘out of control’ manner but then do not compensate inappropriately for it. It is very much a real eating disorder.

“I don’t calorie count/ weigh myself!” I know many people with eating disorders- including anorexia- who have never calorie counted, or who don’t own a pair of scales. It’s not required for diagnosis.

“I think about food all the time!” This is a symptom of an eating disorder. Malnutrition causes the brain to focus 100% of its attention on food- finding it, getting it, eating it. Daydreaming or fantasizing about food does not mean you are not sick; quite the opposite, in fact.

“But I enjoy eating!” Most people do. Eating is enjoyable. Even in the depths of my restriction, the food I ate brought me great pleasure. It’s linked to the previous point, to a certain extent. Enjoying food does not mean you don’t have an ED.

“But this is just how I am!” Eating disorders often start in early childhood, and it can be hard to break out of a pattern that well-entrenched. It’s not impossible, though. Chronic eating disorders can be harder to beat, but they can be beaten.

–

(part of Mental Health Awareness week)

For more information on eating disorders and what to do if you think you have one, visit

www.b-eat.co.uk

www.webiteback.com

http://www.something-fishy.org

NHS- overcoming eating disorders

www.joyproject.org

I wanna be with her so bad. Like I'm craving her touch, her existence near me.

I'll see the psychiatrist on Saturday

I'll see the psychiatrist on Saturday

I'll see the psychiatrist on Saturday

He's not gonna believe me when I tell him how I feel like, he's just gonna ask about med school and how I possibly have ADD. Idk doci feel lost in class but I also feel lost in life, like, I didn't feel like myself, but who am I at the end of the they but my thoughts and worries, my past and future, the way I can't trust people, not even those who are supposed to be there for me. I'm broken and I know there's something wrong with me

Uh, ok

Hi, my self-steem hasn't changed since i left tumblr, maybe is worse now.

Yesterday was a bad day for my sel-steem.

(Day 28??: april 11)

Circle the drain