10/2—

8-1

New month, new reason: the beginning of a new rhythm for all the seasons. To the tune of nothing and everything. Will it bring more than a small amount.

Little, little, and little to none. The sweetness of the past will diminish but never be swindled since it roots the world in which we live.

More will follow. There is still much to learn and questions to be resolved.

Angel.

—Solo—

VI

Angelina's body was pummeled by a tremendous surge of in and out surroundings. It wasn't always like this, and she didn't expect it to stay that way. Angelina had returned to work mode after celebrating her birthday with an outpouring of love from people she held dear to her heart. Not only was she working, but she also had that itch, that niche—almost a need for something more. Perhaps it was the return of her Mother that spurred her on to more self-discovery. Angelina may have been pushed further than she ever dreamed she could go by her new lease on love and life.

Angie's first film, Original Sin, was the first of many. Despite the fact that filming had not yet begun, she was ecstatic. The writing spoke to her, almost in ways that represented everything she disliked about a character as well as everything she might adore. She was out today. A walk through nature by herself, to cleanse her head of the congestion. In no sense of sickness— but to cleanse any self-inflicted doubts.

No doubt, everything, life, and times had changed. Angelina was satisfied at the moment. She walked on the trail, pressing her feet into the crooked gravel. That she was in love seemed surreal. She had no idea that love would suddenly descend upon her like a sack of bricks. As she did with many other things, she received it with faith and understanding. The trail led to the area of the woods that was the deepest and darkest. The actress knelt down and searched her bag for her camera. Maybe, just maybe, she'd really grow interested in photography and perhaps start directing films.

Angelina had several opportunities as a result of her acting career. That's something, she never took for granted. She thought that travel, amnesty, and philanthropic events were all extraordinarily wonderful. But, she had every desire to be more, though. Do more. The smallest part of her life was and is Hollywood. Glamorous dresses, makeup, and parties barely scratched the surface of who Angelina was in reality. Her brother James, made the proposal that she write an op-ed piece to TIME magazine. Angelina initially believed he was yanking her chain. He wasn't, though. When Antonio Banderas and the cast of Original Sin first met, they spent the most of their conversation discussing global issues.

As Angelina silently approached a bird's nest, the camera's shutter flickered repeatedly. Angelina had opinions on everything, including societal issues, literary works, and historical events. Why not? Why not have courage and contribute to TIME magazine? However, Angelina knew she would get harsh criticism. As she had always been subjected to. She smiled as she recalled the gasping outrage caused by her numerous tattoos. She would ruminate on the idea of writing something, much as she had done with her own collection of poetry. She found it strange that something she had always done in her free time or with her mother could now be bought by others. Angelina hiked the remaining distance in silence after one more shutter click.

In time with the foggy breeze, her chest rose and sank. The raw scents of nature entered her lungs. The path grew narrower as it led to her final goal; hanging plants and flowers adorned the route. A prosperous and magnificent river was created from the still water. Nature was hushed. However, it matched the constant cacophony of sounds that thrilled Angelina's head and emotions. Her eyes were squinted into the distant as she clenched the camera in her palm. It was amazing. Her arms had scratches and scuffs from prickly bushes, her hair was clinging to the back of her neck, and her boots were covered in dirt and gravel. Never before had she felt more lovely, alive, and open to new experiences than she did now.

With her camera, Angelina captured the water, the flowers, and the little insects. She located a spot a downed tree limb. She had placed her journal on her lap while sitting with her legs outstretched and her back resting against the wood. Naturally, there were scribbles and indents on every page from previous works. Many of them were sappy odes to her love. High-pitched, almost sickeningly girlie declarations of love were also something Angelina enjoyed. To have complete freedom. She wouldn't limit her feelings, not even in her own mind. Her attention was now on the present situation. She wrote while slightly leaned over and focused on putting all she was feeling into words.

Frequently on shoots, there would be after-party festivities, and just like now, Angelina discovered herself mumbling ideas, to herself. As she continued to write, she would exhale, bite the corner of her lip, and nod to herself. Her inspirations came and went, ebbing and flowing with each penstroke. The woman breathed a ragged laugh when she reached the final line on the page. Above her, in the clouds, she could hear the approaching thunder. She looked up at the somewhat cloudy sky with its touches of blue and sunshine. She grinned because it appeared as though the sky represented two halves of something. Could it be that Angelina was also inspired by that? Yeah, maybe she was.

To check the time, she flipped her wrist and glanced at her watch. She would have to return. Even while Angelina was positive she would return to this route, she also knew she wouldn't. That was the allure of hiking—observing nature and locating trails. Each one stood for a specific moment and emotion. The freedom came from finding it. There were other freedoms and paths to explore that might be found. She took a few more photos, being careful to catch the most charming and tranquil effect of the sun shining on the peak of the river.

I should know better. To be a fool is one thing...but to be a fool and expect love? Tragic. And just like that, square one has returned. Guard up. Hopes limited and neither sad or angry this time. To wish is to be left hopeless, to dream is to be hurt; and hurt? That's life. Expect nothing and everything.

how to disappear completely and never be found again

𝐴 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑏𝑒𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔.

𝐴𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑤𝑒'𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑡 1. 𝑂𝑛𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑦, 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑢𝑡𝑒—𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑜𝑛𝑒.

𝑇𝒉𝑒𝑠𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑑𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑑𝑟𝑎𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑐 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦...𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑑𝑎𝑦𝑠.

...𝐻𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑠, 𝑎𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑟𝑖𝑔𝒉𝑡 𝑜𝑛 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒. 𝑁𝑜𝑡𝒉𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜...𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦 𝑡𝒉𝑎𝑡 𝑗𝑎𝑧𝑧 𝑚𝑢𝑠𝑒. 𝑇𝒉𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑏𝑙𝑢𝑒𝑠...

Heeeeelllll yeaaaaah.

Don't ask me "wyd" i really just be in my room going insane and being a danger to myself

𝐷𝑒𝑛𝑛 𝑒𝑠 𝑔𝑖𝑏𝑡 𝑆𝑐𝒉𝑜̈𝑛𝒉𝑒𝑖𝑡... 𝑢̈𝑏𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙𝑙.

Unkempt. morning relaxation I wake up in the sunrise with a new lease on life. That was borrowed language. Life is only temporary.

Life isn't just about big things; it's also about small things. “Life is fleeting...” Gestohlenes Zitat.

There is beauty within and around us, yet—what does the human mind focus on? the haze. the night. the gloom. However, grey has been painted as a distasteful color. It's extremely lovely. It's almost perfect; it's refreshing enough.

And when I write, I encounter little comprehension. No maps of my route exist, I am aware of this. My brain is spinning. Where have I come from? What should I do? Where should I start? Oh yes. Beautiful art exists. Art is beauty. I'll write this down in my journal. I'll take a picture of it and draw it. I'll stamp a postcard to seal it after that.

Angelina Jolie photographed by Philip Wong, 1991

Auroras glow above Jupiter and moon, 1981

Ron Miller