JUJUTSU KAISEN MASTERLIST

GG!

pairing: frat boy!haitani ran x fem!reader (she/her pronouns)

synopsis: ran wants to break you, but you aim to beat him at his own game.

rating: nsfw! MDNI. i’m watching <3

cw: heavy cursing, ran and rin are kinda misogynistic >:(, smoking (weed), shotgunning, dubcon only bc of the smoking, reader is wearing a skirt, pet names (just baby but he also says good girl once), dom!ran, sub!reader, oral (f!receiving), fingering, spitting, size kink if you really squint, some degradation, implied squirting, overstim, ran is a Cocky Whore but so are you bae! lmk if i'm forgetting any

a/n: wow cara's using she/her pronouns for once? yeah i'm just as shocked as you are 😳 also this is just under 2.5k words so this is by far the longest fic i’ve posted on here >:)

haitani ran is never one to lose his cool, but god help him, he thinks he might lose it anytime he thinks about you.

he’s known around campus for getting anything or anyone he wants, but you’ve changed that. without even meaning to, you pick away at his ego each and every chance you get. never before has someone turned him down as much as you have, and the fact that you bat your lashes and smile up at him when you do, to top it all off? you’re so irritating.

ran has decided that he hates you— he hates you and your pretty voice, your even prettier face, and dear god, your fucking body— he hates that he can’t get enough of you.

but what he hates the most is the fact that you make him work for even an ounce of your attention, and he can tell that you know what you’re doing. he knows just by the way you hold his gaze with that all too confident and mischievous look in your eyes.

and on top of that, even when you haven’t given in even a little bit no matter how much he’s pushed you, he still wants to bend you to his fucking will– and if that doesn’t work, he’ll just break you instead.

that usually isn’t an issue for him, as he’s never had a hard time getting the woman he has his eyes set on. you keep proving to be a different story, however.

ran thinks his best course of action is to start simple; he’ll get your number under the guise of missing last week’s notes. it’s easy enough, and that’s worked every single time so far. but when you look at him with a kind, calming smile and utter, “no,” he’s completely fucking floored.

you don’t even offer a reason or excuse. just a flat no before walking past him to head back to your seat. you know who he is and you know exactly what he aims to do, which is precisely why you want to keep him at arm's length, yet still keep his attention solely on you.

you live for the thrill of it all— of beating an arrogant man at his own game. ran isn’t even slightly aware of that, but he is well aware of the fact that something is up. he has no idea what, though, and he can’t stand it. 

you’re even more irritating than you were before, now. he’s irritated that he can’t figure you out or get you to budge, and he complains about you to his brother non-fucking-stop, which drives rindo up the damn walls.

“she’s just so fuckin’ annoying. never met a bitch with a stick shoved that far up her ass–”

“so maybe, here’s a crazy thought, just leave her alone, then?”

rindo’s words make a lot of sense, but ran still can’t help but to look at him like he’s stupid. why would he want to leave you alone? sure, he tells rin all the time that he can drop you and get any bitch he wants if it comes down to it (his exact words, actually), but to just let you go? now, after how hard he’s been trying? that’s ridiculous!

“nah, ‘m not a bitch. i gotta see it through now,” ran says with a sly grin.

rindo, however, can see right through his brother, “yeah, whatever. never thought i’d see the day you’d be chasin’ some broad.”

ran simply shrugs his brother’s words off. he’s definitely not chasing you! at least, that’s what he keeps saying to himself, though it seems like rindo’s words might hold some truth when ran sees you again a few days later. you’ve show up to one of his parties, coincidentally, and he’s more than fucking happy to see you.

it’s almost like he’s giddy.

he blames it on the weed in his system, though, before pushing through the crowd so that he can head over to you. you’re alone for some reason, clad in a pretty skirt, joint between your soft lips, and phone in hand. it’s the perfect opportunity, he thinks.

“hey,” you speak first once he’s close enough, straining to talk over the loud music, and ran barely conceals his surprise. “i’ve been wanting to talk to you.”

“oh, yeah?”

bingo. he swears he’s got you right where he wants you– you’ve finally come around, he thinks– and he doesn’t stop for even a second to consider the fact that this is strange. usually he’d be a lot more perceptive but his mind is a bit too hazy for that at the moment.

if ran were sober, he’d have noticed that this was out of character for you. it would have been obvious that you had something planned. but instead, he simply falls right into your little trap. after all, the only thing he’s thinking about is fucking you absolutely stupid— how could he be expected to notice something was up?

“yeah,” you nod with a pretty smile. “we can smoke, if you want.”

are you crazy? of course he fucking wants to. ran has been waiting for a moment like this the entire semester— there was no chance in hell he’d turn you down. he doesn’t bother answering (you can tell what his answer is based on his grin alone, anyway), and opts to just lead you to a small sitting area instead.

you don’t hesitate to follow him and the conversation, much to your surprise, flows freely. in fact, you’re talking so easily that you’ve barely even hit the joint. it keeps burning out and you’ve had to relight it about three different times by the time ran finally gets tired and just takes it from you, lighting it himself and taking a hit so large that it nearly startles you.

and you don’t say anything to stop him, either, as you’re practically frozen when he scooches closer to you. before you can even begin to reel yourself back in, ran cups your jaw and turns your face towards his. when did he get that fucking close?

your mind is racing so fast that you can’t discern even a single coherent thought— the only thing you can actually make out is his lips brushing against yours, followed by the smoke he blows into your mouth. you don’t even remember parting your lips but the smoke is so thinned out by now that you have no problem inhaling it, anyway, and ran grins.

“good girl.”

if you were out of it before, your brain is completely fucking mush now. you finally get it, you think. you understand why people are so quick to fall for him. he’s fucking mesmerizing, and you know he’s just so damn cocky about it, too. so self assured and confident in his ability to get exactly what he wants, when he wants it.

he absolutely views this as a game, but unbeknownst to him, you’re the one holding all the cards.

as soon as you’ve blown the smoke back out, you close the distance between his lips and yours. the crowd around you doesn’t matter– everyone is too high or drunk to care anyway– you just want to feel him, and god, his lips are so fucking soft and his taste is more intoxicating than the weed. he blindly puts the joint out, you’re not even sure how, but you’re glad he didn’t pull away. 

there’s a certain desperation behind the kiss that you’re hoping ran can’t feel, though in reality, he’s even more fucking eager than you are. he’s absolutely certain that he hasn’t been this excited at the idea of fucking someone since he was a teenager, and he’s already so fucking hard that it hurts.

and you– you’re fucking killing him, deliberately taking your time and teasing him with your fleeting kisses. he groans against you when you take his bottom lip between your teeth and gently tug, pulling him closer.

“you’ve been holdin’ out on me,” ran tells you as he pulls away, grinning at the string of spit that continues to connect the two of you. “y’know how bad you been pissin’ me off?”

“show me.”

fuck, fuck, fuck, ran is losing his goddamn mind and he can only pray that you don’t realize the effect you have on him. as soon as the words register, he grabs your wrist and tugs you off the couch with him and through the crowd. his hand rests at the small of your back and his touch is searing, but you love fucking it.

when you get to his room, ran lets his eagerness get the best of him and he practically shoves you inside. you expected this so you easily take it in stride, simply settling yourself on the edge of his bed, and your unbothered demeanor makes him want to ruin you more than he already does.

“lay down,” he says, to which you oblige.

ran’s large hands immediately find your plush thighs and without a second thought, he flips your skirt up to reveal your panties that are already embarrassingly wet. if he notices, he doesn’t say anything, simply taking in the view of you splayed out all pretty beneath him.

you squirm impatiently, “ran–”

his eyes flicker to yours only for a second, yet that alone was enough for you to get the message. you close your mouth and when he hooks his fingers under the band of your panties, you lift your hips to aid him in getting them off.

part of you can’t believe this– that you’re letting haitani ran see you like this, but you don’t care. he hasn’t even touched you yet and somehow you already feel dizzy and lightheaded in the best way, though that might just be the weed. 

you aren’t certain, and honestly, that’s perfectly fine. you’d ruin the moment by thinking too much, so you relax and let ran do whatever he wants for the time being. he grabs the back of your thighs and pushes them towards your chest, audibly groaning at the sight of your glistening cunt.

“fuck, you’ve been holdin’ out on me,” ran repeats. he drops to his knees and hooks his arms around your thighs, tugging you closer and placing your legs over his shoulders. “look at this pretty fuckin’ pussy– all for me, huh?”

“‘course,” you breathe, already delirious. “please–”

you don’t even get to finish your sentence, as he spits directly onto your cunt and rubs it in with the hand that isn’t gripping your thigh. you gasp and jolt at the feeling, though it’s quickly replaced by his tongue instead as he licks a stripe up through your folds.

and god, ran is absolutely fucking obscene, sucking loudly and moaning against you as if he were the one being catered to. you scramble to grasp onto something, one hand settling at the back of his head and you can’t help but to wish that his hair wasn’t tied back in his usual braids right now so you could hold something.

“o-oh fuck,” you whimper as you fight the urge to rut your hips against his tongue.

it’s already too much and not enough at the same time, and you’re completely fucking shocked by how good ran is making you feel. it’s as if he already knows your body perfectly– like he’s taken the time to map out your body time and time again in his head. little do you know, he has.

“ran, i-i’m– fuck, cumming–”

“already?” he taunts, already sinking two fingers into you. it takes him no time at all to find the sweet spot inside you. you mewl, and he can’t get enough. “you’re so easy.”

you would have laughed at him for saying something so ridiculous under any other circumstances, but right now, you’re too preoccupied with your orgasm. it hits you so suddenly and you’re certain that you’ve never cum this hard before. 

you can barely even fucking think right now but you still take the time to thank every god you can think of for the music being as loud as it is because you’re on the verge of screaming, tears heavy on your bottom lashes. you should have done this forever ago.

“ohh, that’s it,” ran coos against you, lapping up everything you have to offer. “so fuckin’ sloppy, baby. gonna gimme another one.”

he isn’t asking– he’s telling you. you don’t have much of a choice, anyway, as another orgasm is building up faster than you can even begin to keep up with. your legs are limp over his shoulders, but you’re frantically pushing against him as you try your damnedest not to cry from the overstimulation.

“ran, ran, ‘s too much!”

he thinks you’re so cute, legs twitching uncontrollably around his head and back arching off the bed. frankly, he doesn’t care if it’s too much, and he curls his fingers inside you only a few more times before you cum again, gushing all over his fingers, face, and tongue.

now that you take a second to think about it, you know you definitely haven’t cum this hard before. you didn’t expect this from ran, but you refuse to complain.

as soon as you’ve started to come down, you wipe the stray tears that spilled onto your cheeks and recollect yourself. part of you is disappointed that this’ll never happen again, but you’ve already reconciled with that fact already. it’ll be worth it, just to see his face at the end of it all.

scratch that– i’ll be worth it to have the bragging rights. you beat the haitani ran at his own game. you’ve got every right to brag about it.

ran pulls away and stands up, starting to take off his belt, but he stops at the sight of you shakily sitting up with a dopey smile on your face. he chuckles airily as your eyes meet because he just assumes you’re going to help him out– instead, you stand up and dust your skirt off, even with your legs feeling like jello at this point.

his brows furrow but you give him no room to question you as you say, “thanks, ran. i’ll see you tuesday?”

you don’t wait for his response or even bother searching for your panties before you leave the room. he can keep them as some kind of reward, you guess– you don’t really care, nor do you want to know. you just want to get out.

as the door clicks shut behind you, ran stands in his room, silent and dumbfounded, with his belt halfway off and his face still covered in your slick. he can’t even fucking comprehend what just happened, but he feels a new kind of irritation deep in his bones.

did that seriously just happen? he realizes now that he should have just fucking listened to rindo because once again, you’ve damaged his ego, and he’s pissed. you’re not just irritating, you’re infuriating, but even when ran’s seething, he can’t get the images of you underneath him or the pretty sounds you make out of his mind.

ran is certain of it now– he fucking hates you.

a/n: posting this as the reqs in my inbox stare at me disappointedly 😟 also gonna make a part 2 for this. ran gets his revenge mwahaha

taglist: @aerixsm @bajifuyutorabb @somebodysstupidwife @itzizumi

I love them 🥺🥺✨

3:19 AM | haitani r.

haitani ran x fem!reader

summary: your boyfriend comes home late and hurt after a long night out

warnings: fem!reader, unedited + written on my phone, prob lots of errors, petnames (doll, babygirl)

wordcount: 1.5k ish

“you’re late.”

three hours late, to be exact. ran had told you he’d be back at midnight the latest so at the very least he could give you a kiss goodnight before you fell asleep. your schedules rarely matched up—with his business taking place during that latest hours of the night and you having to be up early in the morning for classes—but he always at least tried to lay with you before you slept for the night, knowing you couldn’t sleep well without him. and he was always sure to be with you on nights before big exams for you.

like tonight.

except tonight.

“i know, i’m sorry,” and you knew he was, you could hear it in his voice and you knew it wasn’t his fault—his work was unpredictable and dangerous but he always did his best to come back to you.

“it’s okay,” and it was.

even if you could smell the smoke and alcohol from all the way across the room.

you sat up in bed, blinking blearily from your state of half-sleep, looking across the room toward where your boyfriend was standing, unbuttoning his shirt—struggling to unbutton his shirt.

your brows furrowed, eyes narrowing trying to do understand what was going on through your half-hazed mind.

he’s hurt?

“ran?” you asked quietly, taking in the red-stained white button-up that you could barely make out through the dark, the way he was tensing and letting out soft hisses every time he moved. “ran, what happened?”

ran turned his head to look at you, a wince decorating his pretty face and you forced yourself out of bed when you finally caught sight of the dark bruises decorating his chest and face, the blood smeared across his skin.

“doll, lay back down, i’ll come join you soon,” ran’s voice was rough and you shook your head.

“ran, don’t ignore me, what happened? i thought you were going to a club with rindou and sanzu?” you ignored his words, nightgown slipping off your shoulders as you rushed toward him, nearly tripping over the bedsheets your legs tangled in.

a wry smile tugged at his lips as you approached him, hands cupping his face gently, thumbs tracing over the bruises marring his cheekbones. he leaned his face into your hand, pressing his lips against your palm, “we were, had some unexpected guests. they got the jump on us, unfortunately.”

“the blood, is it yours?” and maybe it was a dumb question, but you were still tired and ran was always patient with you. so all he did was take one of the hands cupping his face, covering it with one of his as he tossed you a wink.

“some of it, yeah,” and his grin remained but the look in his eyes was pained and your lips trembled as your gaze trailed down his bruised abdomen, one hand slipping from his face to trace down his chest over his tattoos and the blackened bruises.

“you should go to a hospital, ran,” and it was a stupid comment. you knew better than anyone that bonten did not have the luxury of hospital treatment unless they wanted to find themselves in a prison cell the moment they stepped out of the hospital.

ran ignored the comment, instead leaning in to press his lips to your forehead. your eyes fluttered shut, a shaky breath escaped your lips.

“babygirl, please go try to get some sleep, you have an exam tomorrow,” he murmured, bringing one of his hands to the back of your head, toying with your hair.

“fuck the exam,” you said, blinking back the tears stinging your eyes because you hated seeing ran hurt, you had only seen him hurt once before and it hasn’t been half as bad as this. “you’re hurt, ran, let me run a bath for you and then we can lay down, okay?”

ran let out a deep sigh but you didn’t give him a chance to argue, your fingers intertwined with his and you gently tugged him in the direction of the bathroom, squinting as you flicked on a set of lights.

you let him lean against the bathroom sink as you kneeled to run the hot water, fingers shaking as you glanced back at him through the mirror, watching him struggle to remove his slacks.

in the new light, the blood and bruises were all the more visible against his pale skin. he looked weak and haitani ran never looked weak. he was always larger than life, always the protector, always one to hide his vulnerabilities and now-

your throat was tight as you rose to your feet, making your way back over to him, kneeling down in front of him to help him unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants.

“i can do it,” ran’s voice was probably harsher than he intended, strained from the pain, from humiliation. ran despised showing weakness, even to you.

“please let me take care of you for once,” your voice wavered, looking up at him with grit teeth, trying to hide the worry pooling in your gut because ran was always the one looking out for you, and his brother, and sanzu haruchiyo, and kakucho, and he never let anyone take care of him—not while he was hurt, not while he was sick, and especially not when he was upset.

and he only watched you, lips flat and pressed together tight, and for a second, you really thought he was going to deny you. but then his gaze averted and both of his hands fell to his side, silently giving you permission to help him take off his pants.

ran was uncharacteristically quiet as you unbuckled his belt and slipped his slacks down his thighs, helping him pull his shoes and socks off before having him lift his feet to take off his slacks.

you bit your bottom lip, fingers tracing the tattoos decorating down his left thigh and the ugly yellow and green bruises surrounding them, gaze lifting to abdomen and the even uglier colors decorating his skin.

his ribs are broken.

“c’mon,” you said quietly, taking his hand in yours and rising to your feet again, leading him over to the now full tub. his face twisted into one of pain as he lifted a leg to step into the tub, a low hiss escaping his lips as he sunk into the water.

sitting on the edge of the tub behind him, leaning down to kiss the top of his matted hair, bringing your fingers to trace his shoulders. his body relaxed into the water and into your touch.

“you should go rest,” he murmured, “thank you for running the water for me.”

“i’m not leaving, c’mon, let’s get your hair washed,” you said.

“i’m not a child,” ran protested half-heartedly, but even as he spoke, he was relaxing into the feeling of you wetting his hair, gathering shampoo to massage it into his scalp.

“i know,” was all you said in response as you leaned down to press your lips to his shoulder, nails scratching his scalp, lulling his eyes shut.

reaching past him to grab a wash rag, you watched as the clear water began to tint pink from the dried and fresh blood staining his skin, swallowing thickly as you took another glance at his torso.

“you don’t have to do this,” ran said.

“i know,” you repeated, “i want to.”

from behind him, you watched his jaw clench, grip tightening on the edges of the tub, upper body tensing.

“ran,” you sighed, and it was all he needed to relax back into your touch, and you let out a soft breath, wrapping your arms loosely around his shoulders, burying your face into the crook of his neck.

“do you…” ran began and you hummed into his neck, “can i close my eyes for a bit?”

and you could hear the exhaustion in his voice and you could practically see his eyes drooping shut just from his tone. you smiled against his skin, pressing a soft kiss to his neck.

“of course,” you said quietly, “‘ll take care of you, ran. get some rest.”

-

taglist: @touyasghosty @kennyb0y @portfolio-of-dreams @devinsdaydreams @sano-obsessed @rxmera @sugusshi @haitanihime @adeptiixiao @kageyama-i-want-tobiors @crackheadwithtoes @zuuki @hanmascult @4leafcloverwithawhitecraneforyou @hollypastl @kazufuyusluv @imkumichan @meena-in-a-nutshell @aces-high @obsessiontoanime @thevillagehiddenintheinternet @marism @prettyiolanthe @whydohumansss @rinsie @blvebcrry @r-xochitl @chaoticwh0re @chifuyuslilkitten @wakasasucker @shigsprincess @lundabean @crown5 @savagemickey03 @keijisprettygirl @novaresque

COOL WITH YOU 💽

SYNOPSIS: yn is part of a popular group called newjeans and megumi is a computer science major who probably doesn't give 2 shits about newjeans but then yuji drags him to a festival and that possibly changes his mind

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀FEELINGS SO RIGHT

- college!megumi x college!femreader

WARNINGS: both reader and megumi are in college, reader is in a kpop group, strangers to lovers, opposites attract, characters are aged up, fem reader, cursing, smau + written, slow burn, angst, fluff, possible occ [indiviual warnings for each chapter]

STATUS: coming soon !

WHAT’S YOUR ETA? ↳ everything yn | everything megumi

LETS TALK ASAP: hii, we’re newjeans! ~ megumis friends ~ other

01:

02:

raiko@raikoart

Was practicing poses but it turned into a desperate beg for certain demon cat to not kill him

Modern AU headcanons - Diluc as a wine industry tycoon

Warning: NSFW

Pairing: Diluc x gn reader

You and Diluc have been fortunate enough to be born as the heirs to the wine tycoon business run by your families. The vineyards are flourishing and the company has been passed down from one generation to the next for decades.

Your families have been handling the business matters side by side, fighting back against any adversities. Like a hand in glove, with the core principles being mutual respect and sincerity, the successful partnership has always made their chests swell with pride.

Ever since you were small children, your parents have made it a point to time and time again remind you of the importance of the family business and the well-fortified trust between your ancestors. You had to attend extra lessons, read lots of books or meet other wine specialists to gather the necessary knowledge to take over the wine empire.

The time has finally come and your parents have deemed both of you ready to be in charge of the family-run business.

The hitch is, though, that you and Diluc are far from being happy to share the ownership of the world-famous winery. But, it wasn’t always the case. In the past, one could say that you were perhaps too inseparable, leaving Diluc’s step-brother behind. However, as time went by, the connection was gradually lost and now it only remains a bitter-sweet memory.

Diluc, for reasons known only to himself, finds you unfit for the task of being a co-owner of the company. He despises the idea of running the business together with you and bluntly criticises you in front of your family members.

Nevertheless, your parents have already settled on a plan of action, giving you an ultimatum to mend the fences and prove to them that you’re worthy of inheriting the winery tycoon.

„You have a month to end this childish nonsense.”

Diluc’s father informs adjusting the knot in his tie. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Diluc’s pouty face. He looks stiffened like a wooden wine rack and that mental connotation alone sends you into a fit of stifled giggles. Diluc’s eyes express a mix of annoyance and repulsion once he reluctantly peers at you from the opposite side of the coffee table.

„I’m sorry, ahem,” you clear your throat and straighten up in your armchair, mirroring Diluc’s weird position. His face contorts in a fake smile, which you immediately reciprocate, causing his eyes to narrow.

„Erm…, I was saying,” Diluc’s father refocuses your attention back to him, „You need to somehow learn to co-operate. I’m thoroughly sick and tired of your antics. I’ve already spoken to Kaeya. Should you fail to come to your senses, he’ll be the one inheriting the majority of shares.” He informs, taking a sip of the coffee in his hand.

Diluc looks ready to rise to his feet, however, he composes himself and digs his nails into the armrest, turning to his father.

„I thought he said he wasn’t interested in anything that has to do with the company. Apart from plundering our wine barrels for free, that is.”

„He was thoughtful enough to change his mind per my request.”

Diluc snickers, „Oh, how considerate.”

„It’s your last warning. Screw this up and you’ll be forever stuck as Kaeya’s personal assistants.” He announces, grimacing at the bitter taste of the beverage. „You could perhaps start with buying a new coffee machine. It tastes like dog’s piss.” He reluctantly lifts himself from the armchair and saunters to the door.

„It’s your coffee machine, Dad,” Diluc observes in a huff.

But, his father’s already marched out of the office, leaving you two alone. The ticking of the clock is the only sound that breaks the stillness of the room. Your fingers start impatiently drumming on the armrest. Diluc’s eyes zero in on you.

„What? Why are you looking at me like this? Don’t tell me it’s my fault.” You gasp, feigning offence.

„Remind me of the time when it actually wasn’t.”

You roll your eyes and decide to remove yourself from his view before he throws another tantrum.

And so, the co-operation thing has kicked off pretty fast. Albeit, it is still quite rough around the edges.

For the sake of his sanity, Diluc suggests that you should reside in a separate office and reduce your daily interaction to an absolute minimum. He tells you to compose a list of matters that require both your and his attention, which you will later discuss once you’ve agreed on a date of a meeting. He informs you about all of that in an e-mail. He is kind enough to notify you that if, for some reason, you happen to have some doubts his secretary will be ready to answer your questions.

The first days he avoids you like a plaque, hoping that things will somehow blow over if he only stays out of your way and continues doing his job.

He thinks he doesn’t need your help and can single-handedly deal with the paperwork and the meetings.

Keep reading

Cassian: So... I've seen you've been spending a lot of time with Rhys recently.

Feyre: No, Cassian, it's not what it looks like. I swear.

Cassian: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous?

Feyre: No! You're the only one for me.

Cassian: Is that so?

Feyre: I promise. Rhysand and I are just bonded, okay? He's my mate.

Cassian: So there are no best-friend-feelings involved?

Feyre: You are still my one and only best friend! He's just the love of my life, nothing more!

Cassian: But I'm still the platonic love of your life, right?

Feyre: Of course!

Rhys:

Rhys: What the-

All for you

skz and the vows they'd write for you.

fluff. gn reader. word count-3.9k. listen to video games by lana del rey if you can!!!

a.n: thank you to @a-cute-french-fry and @dorisnumber1fan for brainstorming some of these with me <3 i made myself very delulu with this so ENJOY. happy 3k!!! i love you all muahhh <3

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 chan ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

Chan's warm hands are in yours, fingers tangled with one another tightly- like the sturdy roots of an ancient tree.

“Baby,” he calls out softly, and you can already feel tears well up in your eyes at the tenderness in his voice. His thumb reaches out instinctively to wipe the lone tear that managed to escape. His right hand remains on your cheek, cradling it gently.

“Seungmin always liked to joke that I was nearly half-fifty-two. Then half fifty-three on my next birthday,” he starts, as a faint giggle escapes your lips. “That's how I counted time too, with the different days I lived… That is until I met you.” He pauses, a shaky breath leaving him and crashing onto you. “Suddenly I was no longer twenty-six. I was one week old since I met you. Three months since I’ve loved you. And then five years since you changed my life. Years no longer marked the passage of my time. It was you who marked the passage of me.”

“I always had this idea in my head, that I was only worth loving easily. If I diluted all my problems, concealed all my flaws and insecurities to please the ones around me, only then was I deserving of love. But you...” His eyes soften, even more so than they were before. “But you loved me, you loved me on my happy days, and on my darkest ones. You loved me, even when I couldn't understand it, even when I couldn't see what was there to care for in me. So, thank you, for showing me that I am worthy of love, simply because I am me. Thank you for choosing to be patient with me. You don't always know what to do to help, nor do I, but you try, and I try, and isn't that what love is, in the end? To take time out of your day to try, for the person you love?” His voice cracks, as sudden tears wash over his rosy cheeks.

“And I love you. I love to love you. And I cannot not love you, not when my heart beats to the melody of your existence. I promise that even when I’m eighty, I’ll always try to love you better, softer, gentler. I'll never stop trying to be worthy of your love, to be worthy of being yours. Only ever yours.”

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 minho ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

“Angel,” Minho smiles softly, the back of his hand brushing tenderly against your cheek. “I love you, so so much. You know that, right? I probably don't say it as much as I feel it, because I always do. Every second of my existence is spent loving you. Even when I’m not fully awake, and still floating in that hazy space between dreams and consciousness, I can still feel it deep within me that I love you. It is the one thing that ties me back to life itself.”

“And I never... I never imagined that I could adore someone this much. So much that I always think of you, always miss you, even when you're near. Because I feel as if I missed out on years of loving you, back when we didn't know each other. And I- I want to love you, hard enough so it'd feel as if I’ve done it for your entire life.” He's blinking repeatedly, you're surprised he can still read the words scribbled on his paper. You can sense that the tears glistening in his eyes are on the verge of spilling, so you grab his hand and squeeze it gently. 'I'm here', you silently say- he understands.  

“Thank you for holding my hand. Now, and every time I’ve needed you. Thank you for being here for me, with me. I... I always thought that people like me were destined to be alone. But- but being with you feels like I’m with myself. There's no need for me to pretend. Thank you for not making me pretend anymore. You are my mirror, you and I are one, and I- I hope...” He brings your hand to his chest, where his heart beats wildly- 'stay with me' it sings to you.

“I hope you can always feel my love for you. Now and when we're too old sitting on the patio of our home, and my hand is still in yours. Because my heart belongs to you, it beats for you and I breathe for you.”

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 changbin ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

“You're breathtaking,” Changbin whispers in awe, his eyes tracing the contours of your body with each lingering look, like the brush of a skilled artist.

“So are you,” you giggle, but he shakes his head vehemently, drawing nearer to you. “You are the most beautiful human I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I can't believe I’m marrying you,” he chuckles in disbelief, before grabbing your hand and twirling you around, showing you off for all to see. 

“Look at who I’m marrying!” he shouts with bursting excitement, as he dips you down, his nose grazing yours gently, a soft touch amidst the loud exclamations around you. 

“Still sure you want to marry him?!” Seungmin shouts from his seat and you giggle, wrapping your arm around Changbin’s waist. “I do!” 

Your laughter gradually fades, as Changbin clears his throat. His head is tilted to the side, a small, incredulous smile drawn on his lips as he contemplates the loveliness of this moment- of marrying you. 

“My baby. My beautiful baby. I think this is the happiest day of my life. But again, every day is a happy one with you. I... I've never known that love could be unconditional, that loving someone would feel as simple as breathing. Until you. Loving you doesn't feel like I’m taking something out of my being, and giving it to you. But rather, I’m nurturing something within me, a blossoming tender emotion that grows within my soul. Loving you...” he steps forward, cradling your cheeks in his warm hands. “Loving you makes me happy, immensely happy. Because you are the sunset that makes people stop in their tracks to admire it. You are the beautiful scenery that gives hope to everyone who witnesses it. And you make me feel alive. More than I’ve ever been before you.”

“And I promise...” he pauses, wide eyes trying their best to embrace each feature drawn on your face. “I promise to love you more today than I did yesterday. I promise to shoulder the pain that slips through the cracks in your heart, the one that you try so hard to conceal from me. I promise to hear your silent cries and to hug you until your soul stops bleeding. I promise to see you, even when you try to hide from me. I promise to hurt if it means you'll feel less pain. And I-” his voice trembles as it washes over your old scars, delicately erasing them from your memory. 

“I will love you. When the pain seems too big, I will love you. And when your happiness shines the brightest, I will love you. I am madly, irrevocably, desperately in love with you. My heart is tangled in yours.”

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 hyunjin ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

“My love,” Hyunjin begins before abruptly stepping forward, pressing his lips onto yours. The kiss is dizzying and sweet, it reminds you of the figs he hand-fed you yesterday- honey dripping down his tongue onto yours. “I’m sorry,” he whispers once he steps back. “I couldn't help myself. You're so pretty,” he admits sheepishly, and you giggle, too in love to ever mind.

“Where was I? Right, hi, my love. Writing these vows was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Not because I didn't know what to say, but there is so much I wish to express, to talk about when it comes to you. How my soul seems to burn for you. How you’re my last love, but also my first, because I don’t think I’ve ever truly loved before you. Not when you are love itself. But I… I found this journal entry, from four years ago. And I want to read it to you.” He clears his throat, a useless attempt to erase the quiver in his voice.

“I used to believe that love was meant to be grandiose. Extravagant gestures and confessions that will seem too magical for any ordinary human. That’s what I craved; a love so big it would overtake my being completely. But... But tonight, you played with my hair as I laid my head on your lap. And we held hands while drinking warm tea on your couch. And it felt enough, more than enough for me to lead a beautiful life. One worth remembering, one worth commemorating. All because it’s with you.

I realize now that I no longer have to search for love all around me, because you hand it to me, so freely, so selflessly. You love me on our extraordinary days and our mundane ones. I never have to second guess it with you. We may be angry, sad, or frustrated, but the love always remains. It's the one emotion that ties us together, that anchors us to one another. My compass. You.

I don't think I ever 'fell' in love with you. Because a fall can never be gentle, it always hurts, even if for a little. And you must always get up afterward, in a minute, in an hour, in a few years. You can't stay down forever. But this, what I feel for you, the emotion that makes my heart beat is tender and soft. It feels like walking inside a home where the light is golden, the windows are wide open, and every past version of me finally finds what it was looking for all along. I want to stay in you for a while. For a long time. For the rest of my life. And I’ll do whatever it takes so you’d let me.

P.S: I am sleeping with a light heart tonight. I hope that, for as long as I’m breathing, you will always too. You deserve it, more than anyone who has ever walked this earth.”

There is a long pause, as Hyunjin’s words hang over the air; they knock the breath out of you but simultaneously fill you with life. You step forward, swiping away his tears gently. He brings your hand to his mouth, soft rosy lips brushing against your knuckles. 

 “I guess I've been writing my vows since the day I met you,” he smiles softly, delicate love overflowing from him. “Every painting, every journal entry, was to you, by you, for you. Thank you for being my home. Thank you for choosing to love me, every day. Thank you for allowing me to witness the magic that is you. I will forever and always orbit around you.”

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 han ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

“Have I ever told you that you're my favorite artist, sweetheart?” Han’s voice is gentle, as he begins speaking. It reminds you of the waves lapping at your feet when he proposed to you. “I feel as if, as soon as you stepped into my life, you began to paint it with the most vibrant colors. The ones I’ve been desperately longing for. Because it is hard… to see the world as a rainbow when you've felt in blacks and whites for so long.” Han’s gaze softens as he spots the tears now trailing down your cheeks. “Shh, don't cry, honey. Or I’ll start crying too, and I don't think I can stop then,” he whispers and you nod, a breathy giggle escaping your lips.  

“My mind used to be a scary place. But it no longer is, because it's now filled with thoughts of you. I like to imagine that you planted yourself a little garden there, vibrant tulips and roses. And these flowers may wither down. But they will always bloom again, watered by my love for you, and your love for me. And I hope you know that I... I'll always be there for you too. When the thoughts in your head won't quiet down, I’ll talk for as long as it takes to distract you. And when you want to sit in silence, I’ll be near you, holding your hand. And when you want to be alone, I’ll be there, lingering around the door, within your reach. In whichever shape you want me, you'll get me. I am here, I won't ever leave you.”

“And now I’m crying too” Han chuckles softly, and through the shimmering veil of your tears, you cling to his hand to see.

“I really, really don't know what I ever did to deserve you. But I know I’ll try my entire life to be worthy of you. For as long as I’m here then there will always be someone who loves you. Someone who is proud of you; for breathing, for trying, for never giving up. Please never forget that. You are my strength, my peace, my home. You are everything I have ever dreamed of in human form.”

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 felix ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

The golden rays reflect on Felix’s eyes as he looks down at his paper. A summer wedding- he insisted, his only condition to you. It is ridiculous, you wanted to tell him, to expect it to be any season but summer when he is the sun.

“Hi baby,” he grins, twinkling brown eyes captivating yours. “God, I’m so nervous. I rehearsed this ten times in front of chan. I think he learned it by heart now.” You giggle, as Chan’s laughter travels across the venue. “I’m not usually afraid of speaking in front of people. But you aren't anyone. I guess that's why I’m nervous. You look really beautiful today. This isn't in my papers, I just wanted to tell you. Because you are. You're always beautiful but today you're absolutely breathtaking and I can't believe I’m marrying you. Thank you for saying yes,” he pauses, a breathy chuckle escaping him. “I’m rambling, aren't I?” you nod, a wide grin on your face. You love him.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I... I'm known as the massage fairy, right? I think I might've massaged almost everyone present in this room.” The loud cheers of your friends signal that they agree.

“I used to, I mean, I do it because you get knots in places your hands can't reach, and it feels nice, for someone to ease the ache of your muscles for you. And I always thought that massages were strictly physical. That it just undoes tension in your body, nothing more, nothing less. And I never told you, because it sounded silly in my head. But I knew... I knew I loved you when you massaged my shoulders for the first time. Do you remember, baby?” he asks, a gentle smile gracing his lips. “That was two months into our relationship. Which is fairly early, but time means nothing when it comes to you.”

“My shoulders were sore, and when I told you, you stood behind me instantly. You started to massage my shoulders and I almost cried right there and then. Because your fingers worked delicately, and it felt as if you were kneading your love into my body. You lifted an invisible weight off of me that day, an emotional one. I didn't even know it was there until you touched me. That's how I knew you were different, to me. That your touch wasn't strictly physical, that it reached into depths of my soul, that it soothed aches I’m not even fully aware of,” he pauses, drawing in a deep breath.

“You already know this, but I... I never really learned how to deal with sadness, because it all happens so suddenly with me. One bad thought always brings with it ten others and suddenly I am pulled into a pool of horrible feelings. But your hands keep me afloat until I’m ready to swim by myself again. I think... I think you understand my sadness more than I do. Maybe because you're a part of me, two halves of the same heart.” His voice softens at the last word, as unshed tears glimmer in his eyes.

“I hope, I pray, that my hands massaging your sore shoulders would also reach into your soul and heal its ache. And I know I might not make you feel better, instantly, or in a day, or the following one. But I promise that I won't ever leave, even if the bad times stretch forward. I'll be with you, patiently, just as you do to me. I may not understand myself fully, but I know that my soul was crafted to love you. Every atom in me is yours, and that is enough knowledge for me.”

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 seungmin ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

You take a step forward, brows knitted in concentration as you carefully readjust Seungmin’s black tie. Your hands then glide to his shoulders, smoothing the fabric of his suit. “Nervous?” You ask, and he responds with a subtle nod, planting a chaste kiss upon your forehead.

“Don’t be. It’s just me.”

“It’s never ‘just you’ to me.” He gently holds your chin, dainty fingers commanding a cascade of butterflies inside you. “Just look at me, okay?” You smile tenderly and he nods, taking a step backward.

Seungmin draws in a deep breath, eyes traveling over the entire room before finally settling on you.

“I’ve always liked math. I liked the security that numbers gave me, the exactitude of this science. Because one plus one equals two, and no change in our world, however grand it may be, could ever alter it. I liked things that I could grasp, that I could wrap my head around fully. Tangible rules and formulas. They were my safety net. Until you came into my life. You were the wildest variable I’ve ever encountered, and being near you made me crave things I’ve never known. You pushed me out of my comfort zone, but I wasn't afraid to fall into the unknown, because I knew you'd be there to catch me. So, you became my risks and paradoxically, my safety net, all in one.” He doesn’t look down at his paper- his kind eyes never leave yours, and you’re suddenly the only two humans existing in this world.

 “I remember a Tuesday night, two years ago. You slept over at my house, and we didn't do anything special. We just talked a lot, about everything and nothing, just saying whatever crossed our minds. And then you dozed off on my chest. You looked so... Peaceful in my arms, and I was surprised you weren't woken up by my wild heartbeat. Because I suddenly realized that I wanted a forever with you, right there and then.” You both step forward at the same time, hands reaching out blindly to hold one another.

“I’ve always found it a bit weird to crave something to last for a duration that we humans cannot grasp. Everything we know is ephemeral. Everything has a beginning and an end. So, I never really believed in forever, until you. Forever exists because I can't see myself ever not loving you,” a faint hiccup courses through him, as he looks up at the sky- an earnest attempt to stop his tears from falling. It is useless, because once he looks at you again, emotion overtakes him, rippling from him in waves.

“Even- even when we're both no longer here, and my body can no longer contain my soul. Even if I only roam in space eternally, as a small speck of light, my destination would always be you, because my love for you would be the only thing my soul would remember. The core foundation of my being, the essence of who I am is my love for you, and even if everything around me fades, the love for you will stay.” His forehead presses onto yours, a last whisper, only meant for you- “My eternity is you.”

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 jeongin ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

Jeongin's lips graze the inside of your wrist, right where your pulse dances in fervor- for him alone. He looks self-assured, as he lets go of your hand to take out a paper from his pocket. But there is a faint blush tainting his cheeks; it travels down his neck when he clears his throat.

“Baby,” he starts, voice hoarse from barely hidden emotion- the notes of it settle inside your heart. “I don't know where we will be many years down the road, or what we will be doing. But I know that there are things that won't change between us. I know that I’ll listen to all your rants about your favorite show, and I’ll buy you ice cream when you're craving it at 3 a.m. I will still buy two bottles of my shampoo because you love to use mine more than yours. And I like it when you carry a part of me with you, even in such a subtle way. I will still give you my jacket, even when you insist you aren't cold, but I can tell, because I know you. I will...” He sucks in a deep breath, as his vision grows blurry from the tears in his waterline.

“I will make you coffee in the morning, exactly how you like it, down to how many ice cubes you use. I will warm up your towel as you shower and I will fold your laundry because I know you hate doing it. And I- I will hold your hand when we cross the road, and in crowded places, and in the lines of every coffeeshop we’ll go to. I will run my fingers down your spine when you're about to sleep, and I will-” Jeongin's tears splatter across the paper, smudging its black ink. His lips are quivering, as the paper shakes in his hands.

“I will kiss your tiny bruises and remind you to breathe on- on days where...” Jeongin crumples the paper in his hand as he finally looks at you. He’s crying, a stream of tears trailing down his cheeks like a floodgate that isn't planning on stopping. “On days where it seems impossible to.” He finishes, the words he's written long forgotten by him. He didn't need to read them when he had you in front of him- the sole holder of his love.

“And I will hug you tight on nights when your sadness feels bigger than what your body can contain. And when words don't seem to make sense in your head, I’ll- I’ll listen to you, I’ll understand you, I’ll learn you. And I will love you. I will love you and I’ve loved you and I love you. And I- I wish there was a word bigger than love to describe how I feel for you. Because four letters never seem enough when it comes to you. But I am yours, body, heart, and soul. Wherever you go I follow. Till the ends of the earth, I'll be there.”

pov: you're getting rejected (again)