I SCREAMED. NEIL ELLICE FOR PRESIDENT

Oh my god

Do better idk

I still can't believe how many cishet men are fumbling the bag with this Call of Duty thing.

You have tons of women suddenly interested in the thing YOU are interested in, and instead of bonding over shared interests, you choose to gatekeep and be a misogynist.

Just buy a skull mask you fucking dingus

when reading smut and y/n says “daddy”

Simon doesn't do girlfriends. He's not hanging out or going on dates or buying you flowers or food or hairpins.

It's just...well he might accidentally stop by to get chinese takeouts and might see to buy shiny pin and other things you have saved in, and well, he just might think of you in everything he sees.

And god forbid a woman staying in his house ?! Taking over his clothes and frowning at the lack of furniture and pictures on wall and dull curtains.

No, that's absurd. But...well he might take you to ikea and might indulge in your ifs and buts and might get you something which makes your eyes glimmer and might take you home —to spend all evening assembling it, taking his time telling you how to turn allen key, the click of dowel, the wood quality, the torque of screws.

He might let you stay after and give him shoulder massage, might let you hold his face from behind and turn his neck to kiss him square on mouth.

He might buy frames for all the polaroids of you in his sweats, or stirring the pot, or looking at your laptop, and the one where you're draped on his shoulder might be the one he caresses with his thumb every so often.

He might go to that pottery place you gushed about and might sit behind you with his hands pressed onto yours and might make a ( heart shaped ?! ) cup with his and yours initials carved and baked and painted into the beautiful clumsy thing.

He might drink his morning coffee to whiskey in that cup only.

He might get a second key.

He might put those shampoos you smell so much of, in his cabinets.

He might change the dull curtains to your favourite colour.

He might just upside down his whole world for you to take a look around and smile.

And well Simon doesn't really do girlfriends, but he might just die if it's not your yapping he falls asleep to, with your hair poking his chin and gibberish of all day long ending to a soft sweet sigh — goodnight baby.

Masterlist

I copy pasted parts of this but I do hand letter everything, because while I'm trying to work easier as I'm chronically ill, I am still chronically stupid

Men in porn always so desperate for validation. "oh you like that cock? You like my cock?" go to therapy dude

It's Alright To Kiss The Homies Goodnight After A Good Show~

Simon “only soft for his missus” Riley.

idk if yall missed my headcanons but i got bored and figured out which dog breed the 141 would be + co authored by my dog neek friend