And that went..... terribly
He broke up with me on boxing day because he "realized he wasn't ready for commitment"..
I was asking him for comfort because my mom was hospitalized and I was terrified, I wanted someone to be with me... and he did this instead... he told me it would be best for me if he broke it off because he "couldn't keep pretending everything was fine" (he hadn't been able to get out and see me... because he's like the biggest coward on earth about snow and ice and his parents arr equally as bad and he would not even try to fight his parents on any of it)
Literally this boy's mom told him to break up with me, that it wasn't worth coming out to help me through that night.....
Like seriously? Did he even stop to consider how this might affect me? Clearly not, or maybe he didn't give a shit.
Really pisses me off, I was nearly hospitalized myself that night because I took two massive, traumatic emotional blows and I was nearly going to end my life. Had it not been for my father talking to him (he agreed to remain friends.... we'll see how long that lasts š) and talking me down, I don't think I'd be here
yea.. after this I'm fucking done with men and their stupid commitment issues and their mama's boy mentality.. hope I meet a woman... or a man who is motherless and more dedicated to the relationship.
And I was so dumb for letting myself plan a future with him... he didn't deserve me, he never did, I should have seen the signs so much earlier...
Anyway, I lost all sense of self and purpose... so Idk what to really do...
I'm trying to do art and the things I love but like everything I do reminds me of him... no matter what it is and it reduces me to a crying heap..
So.... um in honor of this truly nightmarish situation, I'm taking requests... for art, not fanfiction..
H!
I'm back from the dead!
And I have things to talk about š¤
Last month into this month has been fucking wild for me!
I was connected to a girl my age through my therapist, her name is Sam. We've really hit it off and I now consider her a friend.
Then... for some reason I felt confident enough to make a dating profile.... and
AGAINST ALL ODDS I MET SOMEONE.
Like I live in a town over an hour away from any cities.. but he only lives a half hour out of town... so not a super long drive.
Anyway, we've seen eachother in person twice but I fell so deeply in love with the guy.. and I can tell he feels the same about me... the way he looks at me.... How he talks... He is also a total romantic.. much like myself, so it's been going really good! I'm hoping we'll get to see eachother again next week.
But I never thought I'd ever get into a romantic relationship... if I'm being honest
Don't read on if you're easily triggered by mental health issues and/or sexual themes.
I never intended to be around this long... I was literally planning on ending it all shortly after my 18th birthday... But for some reason... I kept going.. and I'm super happy that I did, otherwise, I wouldn't have ever met my friend and boyfriend.
Seriously...
Things are finally going right for me after so many goddamned years of being alone, isolated unable to find any real connection and incredibly miserable because of it...
I have finally realized I am not unlikeable, I'm not worthless and I can find friends. And for the rest of 2022 and into 2023, I will work as hard as I can to not let my anxiety control me anymore
My next big leap comes in November. I will be looking for my first job!
And here comes the part where I gush about my boyfriend
I now have this dream now where I'm settling down with my boyfriend.... we move into a little apartment in one of the cities nearby (in fact that dream could very well come true... because we both want to go to the same city for college) and we settle into a peaceful domestic life together.... hopefully with cats!
Ok... but like honestly this guy is literally the one I've been dreaming of. He's very attractive and emotionally available, and he doesn't judge me for who I am! I neglected to mention here, but I have discovered that I am agender and my pronouns are they/them... I live in probably one of the most conservative provinces in Canada and to make it worse, I'm in a small town with like 4 churches of the same exact brand of extremely homophobic and transphobic Christianity... I fully expected him to lose interest in me. But no, It hasn't affected how he thinks of me. and he is very careful to respect my pronouns...
He's also very funny (which I really love in people... I can't be around someone who is super serious all the time) I mean... when I last saw him on Monday, we were at my place, playing around (in an adult sort of way) and he discovered my toys
One of them had a suction cup at the base, so he goes and sticks it on the wall a few times... then he sticks it on his forehead looks at me and says "I'm dildo man" we laugh about it together.... and he goes to pull it off his face only to discover it has suctioned pretty hard to his face, so I help him by wedging my finger under the suction cup and lifting it off...
and HE HAS A BIG ASS BRUISE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS FOREHEAD... We're still laughing our asses off... me almost pissing myself with laughter as we frantically search for way to get rid of bruises and hickeys online... we try the fork method, icing it... everything we can do, nothing works.. so we decide to just take a bath to clean up before my parents get home from a trip they were on (at this point my parents don't know we've had sex... and I wasn't exactly ready to tell them) While we're in the bath, my parents get home and my dad calls out to me... I fucking panic and we get out and dress at breakneck speed.
My parents brought home some takeout and my boyfriend stayed for dinner... he met my mom for the first time... but damn... coming downstairs after that was... super awkward... but thankfully my parents aren't the type to be bothered by that kind of thing, all they needed to know was that we used protection (which we did ofc)
It's funny though, he really gets along well with my dad.. Maybe it's their sense of humour. Or maybe the fact they are both quite talkative..
But damn.....
This guy is special.. and I hope we last for years, decades... life even...
And done.. Sorry about all that.. just had to write this all down somewhere.. It's really hard to contain my happiness right now.
Vandy with an MC whoās blind in one eye?
I can do that⦠I did a bit of reading to get some idea of what it might be like since Iām not blind, Iām only nearsighted. So if this isnāt accurate, Iām sorry. Thank you for requesting, Anon. <3
-He knew from the beginning that you had some issue with one of your eyes.Ā
-He didnāt know the extent of it until youād told him that you could not see anything except for strong light out of that eye.
-Obviously, your depth perception was off.Ā
-If you had any trouble with anything, Vanderwood would help you as much as he could.Ā
-Vanderwood would do most of the housework, heād cook, heād drive and heād even scribe for you if you needed it.Ā
-It never bothered him, in fact, he liked caring for you and helping with little things.
-Heād try not to accidentally scare you, he was always careful about that.Ā
-If you wanted to do something yourself, heād back away and let you do it.
-He never looked at you any different for your blindness, Vanderwood loved you and everything about you.
I donāt want Disney to win. I just need Ron DeSantis to lose.
Jumin, V, and Vanderwood reacting to MC being in so much pain bc of her period that she canāt move? (Kill me pls :ā(( )
Thanks for requesting, Anon!! I know period cramps suck, but hang in there <3Ā
-You were essentially bedridden.
-The pain from your period was horrible.Ā
-If you even moved an inch, your uterus would attack.Ā
-Jumin was worried.
-But he didnāt show it very much.
-Honestly, it made you feel worse.
-Once or twice he came into your bedroom to comfort you or entertain you.
-But he let his maids take care of the rest, he knew his maids were competent enough to treat you right, so he saw no problem with it.Ā
-You werenāt a fan, but you felt like shit, so you didnāt complain.Ā
-He had been through this before..Ā
-Though she who shall not be named wasnāt as bad...
-When he realized the severity of your cramps, He became concerned.
-He made sure to take care of you as best as he could.Ā
-V would cuddle you, and let you squeeze his hand whenever your cramps got intense.Ā
-Heād go out and buy you some muscle relaxant if you needed it.Ā
-V is very good with periods.Ā
-Everyone needs a guy like V.Ā
-He wanted you to get up and go help him at Sevenās place.Ā
-But you werenāt gonna do that.Ā
-You were in SOOOOO much pain.Ā
-And of course you expressed that with a string of cusses and groans.Ā
-He didnāt really know what to do.
-He didnāt know that women could get cramps as bad as you.Ā
-Innocent little shit..
-He was greatly concerned about you and decided to skip going to Sevenās.
-Vanderwood stayed home to try to take care of you.Ā
-He ended up buying a bunch of muscle relaxant, spoon feeding you chicken soup and cuddling with you.Ā
-Side note... While he was making the chicken soup, he freaked out and started rambling to himself about how he thought you were going to die or something,Ā Ā
Vandy reacting to his MC always having cold hands and sticking them up his shirt to warm them up? Esp at night when heās trying to sleep?
Thank you for requesting, Anon! Lol this one sound like fun to write!! I get cold hands all the time, I wish I had a Vandy to warm them up!!!!!
-Your bedroom was constantly cold.Ā
-Vanderwood liked it cold.Ā
-You, however, didnāt like it very much.Ā
-You had tried to turn up the thermostat or close the windows, but heād always turn the thermostat down and open the windows up again.Ā
-The coldest part of your body was your hands.Ā
-One night, you were laying in bed next to Vanderwood.
-He was sleeping, you were wide awake and your hands were like iciclesĀ
-You had been trying to warm them up with the blanket and your own body.
-But of course, you werenāt warm enough.
-Then you had an idea.Ā
-CUDDLE WITH VANDERWOOD
-You noticed he was pretty damn warm.Ā
-You shoved your hands in his shirt waking him up.
-āAH HOLY SHIT YOUR HANDS ARE LIKE ICICLES, MC! DONāT DO THAT!!!!āĀ
-āYouāre so warm, I couldnāt resist.āĀ
-He grunted before trying to go back to sleep.
-He made a mental note to buy you mittens in the morning.
Please, spread this for those who might need it right now
U.S. suicide hotline: call or text 988 (available 24 hours)
U.S. trans lifeline: (877) 565-8860 (when you call, youāll speak to a trans/nonbinary peer operator. full anonymity and confidentiality)
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) ā provides 24/7 confidential support and referrals for individuals and families facing mental health and substance use disorders, including panic attacks and anxiety.
LGBT National Help Center: (888) 843-4564
Trevor Project: Call (866) 488-7386, text START to 678-678, or chat online.
Take care of yourself and each other. Please stay safe ā”
So... Vanderwood, amirite?
Yea.... Haha (I sat on this for about an hour and that was all I could come up with for an answer lol...)Ā
Me handing out boops to everyone and anyone that is boopable! š
Wammy Boys & TheirĀ Music Tastes
Matt & Mello quarantine headcanons
How they'd react to your death.. RIP (Angst)
Saving Misa from jumping (kinda yandere)
Mello x reader with trypanophobia (fear of needles)
Not too into Halloween
He's more of a Christmas guy himself.
Although if you or any of his friends want to celebrate it, he will gladly join!
Will put lots of thought into decorating though
He tries to keep the decor kid friendly
This year he decided to dress as an angel (he's already an angel even without the costume)
He's super good with kids, so he hands out candy... And snacks on it during less busy times.
Doesn't care much about Halloween
Super low effort when it comes to decorating
There's probably a skeleton hanging on the front door and that's it.
Dressed as a zombie because you convinced him to.
He tends to scare children away with how eccentric he is.
Needless to say, you're on candy duty.
This man LOVES Halloween!
Your house is probably the best one on the block!
Fake blood everywhere, different sections of your yard are themed to different things.
Your house basically looked like a really good haunted house.
Speedwagon probably dressed as a devil
Your house mostly attracted teenagers and older kids but all the same, Speedwagon enjoyed handing out candy and having playful banter with the kids.
Entirely offended by Halloween
Refuses to decorate even a little bit
Will not dress up (though he's already an actual vampire lol)
Won't even hand out candy. If you do, you will be kicked out and broken up with.
If any kids come to the door, he may end up killing them.
Ayo! How have you been? I was wondering if i could request a headcanons of the wammy boys with misa included. What i want t to about is their S/O asks the boys and misa to do their makeup. Would they say yes? Would you have to bribe them with their favorite stuff to make them look even more pretty? And you cold do gender neutral if you want. Anywho, it was just a suggestion! Toodlelooāš
I'm doing well! Thanks for the request!! I did say I was moving wammy boys stuff to my side blog only... but I'll make an exception just this once... (btw, my side blog is @jinxxedwammys ) I hope this is what you meant lol... I realized a bit too late that you may have been asking for headcanons about wammy boys & Misa applying makeup on their S/O and not the other way around.. so if that's the case, send me another ask and I'll gladly write one like that!
L
L doesn't wear makeup...
I mean... he doesn't make any efforts to cover his eye bags..
But he has no aversion to makeup.
So when you asked to do his makeup, he just shrugged and let you do your thing.
He actually found it somewhat relaxing.
When you finally gave him a mirror to take a look at himself he stared in wonder for a bit.
You had managed to make him look at least 5 years younger.
And the neutral colors you picked for his eyes...
The lipgloss with a slight pink tint.
He hadn't felt this good about himself in years!
Mello
Mello wears makeup quite a bit actually
Though, he doesn't do a full face, only eyeliner
I mean... do you not see that cat eye? It's immaculate!
He is very particular about it though.
If his eyeliner has even the slightest mistake, he will start over entirely.
When you asked to do his makeup, he initially flat out refused.
But of course, he's a big softie easily manipulated into doing things for your sake.
So all you had to do was offer him chocolate in exchange for his compliance, and convince him that this would be a nice bonding experience.
With reluctance he allowed you to do what you wanted.
Though he kept nitpicking at everything you did slightly wrong.
But at the end, when you dragged him over to the bathroom mirror, he found that he quite liked what you had done.
It was quite a bit more dramatic than he'd ever done. You gave him a nice smokey eye and a coral lip tint.
Mello gave a slight nod of approval, before immediately washing it all off.
Near
Near is similar to L in that he doesn't wear makeup
He also doesn't have an aversion to it...
However his skin is quite sensitive, so he can't use anything too intense or he'll get a rash.
So when you ask him, he'll just make sure know to you use gentle products.
While you do his makeup he absent-minded fiddles with a finger puppet. (Which one? maybe one that looks like himself... or even one that looks like you?)
He doesn't protest or flinch away at any point.
When you show him what he looks like, he smiles, appreciating your work.
You had given him a very subtle look.
Had you not applied a soft powder blue and a shimmer to his eyelids you would hardly be able to tell he was wearing any makeup.
"It looks very nice, Y/N" he said before going back to playing with his toys.
Matt
He doesn't wear makeup
And he does not like it at all!
He finds the process of application as well as the makeup itself extremely uncomfortable.
Plus he already has oily skin, so any amount of makeup will make him break out.
When you asked to do his makeup he refused.
There was absolutely no convincing him.
Beyond Birthday
You assume he would allow you to do his makeup?
Really?
He would probably kill you before he let you do that.
BB is EXTREMELY fussy when it comes to makeup.
If it's not perfect and doesn't almost entirely transform his appearance he won't allow it to be on his face.
Not even an offering of strawberry jam would convince him to let you even touch his face with a makeup brush!
Misa
Misa is very into makeup!
She at least wears lipgloss every time she leaves the house.
When you offer to do her makeup for her, she squeals with delight.
She thinks of it as a super fun sleepover-like activity.
Misa is used to getting her makeup done by other people so it doesn't bother her at all.
When you finish and she gets to look at it, she tackles you with a hug singing all sorts of praises about your makeup skills!
It's almost like how she'd normally do it, though you added little cross details to her eyeliner and used a dark red eyeshadow that seemlessly blended into black.
She'd make it a point to ask you to do her makeup more often!
Artist/ fanfic writer 20 they/them ā š³ļøāā§ļø trans rights are human rights š³ļøāā§ļø Astarion brainrot is going strong.. save me
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