MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!!!!!

Sorry for the last post being a downer it's just that bitches are testing me.

Anyhoo I went to the store yesterday and found out that the person at the register spoke Spanish as well as English and idk why but I thought that was so neato.

So shout out to bilingual ppl. You are much smarter than I am.

Beseeching the Fool

the fool has been beseeched

Just to let y'all know

the keebler elf is real & he fucks

Tell me

Does the silly jingler enjoy pumpkin pie and a nice cup of apple cider?

pumpkin pie is decent but a nice cup of apple cider would have this silly jingler janglin' his jingle bells for a drop of that sweet nectar

there is a whole baby here and i just watched a turkey bust it down on tv

shoving a head of iceberg lettuce down my throat to distract myself from the divine horror of creation

eating a salad (anxiously)

I have arrived on the clown site. First order of business: indulge in shenanigans.

it appears our slutty little planet has pole danced around the sun yet again

here's to another year of bullshit, my friends. :)

I just played a game of cat and mouse with my brother except I was the cat and also the mouse.

He thought we were playing keep-away with a mysterious cube but little did he know he was tricked. Fucking hoodwinked. Absolutely bamboozled.

While the fool scrambled to keep it away from me, I cleverly slunk away to my room to eat cheese in peace like a wretched little rodent.

Poor boy didn't even realize.

@chronically-online-italian Oh, no! Whatever shall I do?!

AHAHAHAHAHA GET BONKED, IDIOT