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# 0.03 - THE THIRD WISH.

╰ ‘I wish to learn how to make flower crowns.’ | Chapter 3 of ‘The Five Wishes You Fulfilled For Me Before I Died’ series

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HE SCOLDS YOU FOR CALLING HIS NAME FOR NO REASON AT ALL and yet whenever you don't, he frowns and asks about your whereabouts. the yaksha that guards over liyue is certainly a strange character and an adoring laugh would've slipped out of you if you weren't too busy trying to wash away the metallic taste of blood in your mouth. amongst the cards delivered to your hands, you realized that one person hadn't sent one. of course, you didn't expect anything from him of all people but you were suddenly filled with the desire to seek his presence. now though, you wondered if you're still in any shape to converse casually. the dried tears that stuck to your cheeks made you look disheveled and though it was dark, you don't doubt that his piercing amber eyes would take note of it immediately. was your body's exhaustion really this fast approaching?

"i told you to speak my name when you need help," a voice from behind you flatly states. you don't do so much as flinch. you'd know that voice even from afar.

"xiao... it's been a while, huh? how do you do?"

the man in question frowns even deeper, allowing his polearm to disperse into fragments of lights before he approached your keeled-over form, "what are you croaking about? speak up. i can't hear you."

"gee, a little understanding, please?"

you didn't really take offense. if you had, then there was no way you could've befriended the sharp-tongued man who was just a few steps away from you by now. perhaps it was just a worthless attempt but you hoped that your little comment was enough to distract him, even just a little, from the gruesome sight you weren't able to clean up. who would've known that he was always watching your back from afar?

"who did that?"

"no one," you muttered, tense. it sounded more like a furious demand than a question and you don't think that you've ever heard such animosity from him ever since you met. heck, the way he spoke about his karma sounds tender compared to the tone he used now! "hey, calm down."

"you're bleeding. you need help."

xiao, despite not believing your words, motioned for you to come towards him. as much as he wanted to reshuffle the cards dealt by fate to whoever was dumb enough to lay a hand on you, he knew that he should probably find someone to assist you first. verr goldet should still be awake, he thinks as he glances at the moon that watched the scene curiously. time flows differently for the adepti and he couldn't be bothered to carry a watch when it doesn't apply to him but if he were to guess, it shouldn't be more than thirty past eight in the evening.

"i'm fine. there's nothing you can do to help me," you waved your hand haphazardly as you tried to stand, only to find xiao crouching in front of you.

"..." he grits his teeth, trying his hardest to fight the heat that was climbing up his pale neck, "what are you waiting for? it's faster this way so... just hurry up."

a confused sound escapes you and you half-believed that you just redefined speechlessness as you stared at his back. shifting your weight from one leg to another, you ultimately freeze as xiao turns his head slightly, just enough to meet your gaze impatiently but you knew him well enough to recognize the same shade of embarrassment on his pupils. deciding to cut the both of you some slack, you cautiously mounted his back and with an ease that made your heart skip a beat, he adjusted your position so you laid more comfortably and securely. despite your nervous fidgeting (caused by the very sharp reminder that his hands were firmly holding onto the flesh of your thighs), xiao doesn't seem to be having any trouble carrying your weight.

"um... i'm really fine... you don't need to do this. i must be really heavy, 'm so sorry..."

he only scoffs, squeezing your thighs as if to reprimand you, "you underestimate the strength of the adepti. this is nothing compared to what i have held long ago."

you don't reply, ashamed that you're taking this situation of context and even more ashamed that you're absolutely enjoying it. distracted by your fleeting thoughts, you don't notice that you have slowly nuzzled into the crook of his neck. it wasn't your intention but your subconscious desperately craved the warmth that exudes from his body. by the time you realized what you were doing, it was too late and you pretended to do it on purpose just because it felt a smidge less embarrassing.

with your bodies awfully close together, xiao desperately prayed that you didn't notice the way his breath hitched as your small sigh fanned a hot gust of air over his sensitive skin. he also prayed that you don't hear the wild pumping of his heart because he, himself, couldn't hear anything aside from that.

"xiao?" he tensed up, surprised at the intense thoughts that floated in his mind at the innocent call of his name. you're too near. you had only whispered his name prettily but in his mind, you might as well have screamed it until both his ears bled, "do you mind if we stop by dihua marsh first?"

"what? are you out of your mind? you're injured—"

"i promise i'm not—"

he ignores you're lighthearted laugh as he nearly growls, unconsciously digging his dull nails into your thighs that formed small, crescent-like engraving on your plush skin, "i can smell your blood from afar."

"hey, i really promise i'm fine. in fact, you can check for injuries right here and now!"

xiao pauses and you take it as him thinking over his options. when you slowly slid out of his grasp and he wordlessly let you, a small victorious smile curved on your lips, "if i see anything, i'm taking you to wangshu inn immediately and you better not utter another complaint."

"yes, yes... i understand. no need to frown so much," he doesn't speak of the bright twinkle in your eyes as you shrugged your coat off, twirling once to show that true to your words, no trace of blood could be seen on your clothes. aside from the remnants of the gore on your palms, you looked unscathed and xiao realized that he could finally breathe again.

"if you're not injured, what was that on your hand?"

you knew he'd ask eventually but that didn't stop the recoil from coming. nervously looking at the side, you took one long breath in before plastering a smile on your face as you met his ever-serious gaze, "about that... care to chat in a place more comfortable?"

xiao curiously raised a brow despite the seemingly permanent scowl on his face. still, he offered his gloved hand quite roughly though it was more endearing in your eyes, "to dihua marsh, right?"

"if it isn't too much trouble..."

"isn't it too late to say that?"

you only laughed at his little grumble, knowing full well that he doesn't mind taking you anywhere you wanted to go. why else would he go out of his way to accompany you to sal terrae three days after you mentioned it in passing? taking his hand gingerly, he immediately pulls you closer to him, and almost as quickly, a heady scent envelops you. for someone who claims that aromas do not cling to him after grueling hours of hunt, you sure could pinpoint that the fragrance on his clothes was one of the refreshing scents of qingxin flowers and honey-roasted almonds. it's faded now and you purse your lips in worry. surely that must mean that he hasn't been resting? xiao had the habit of having his beloved dish during the morning during the winter season, having been too exhausted by the increasing amounts of exorcisms he needed to do to bother eating upon his return.

shaking away your worry, you try to ignore the other underlying stench that coats him. death. it's nothing unpleasant like the decaying flesh of a cold corpse but there was something unique about it that you could recognize it as that. it was hard to describe but once you meet someone on their deathbed, you'll know. it's the scent of a fast-approaching demise carried by hundreds of volatile materials. who were you kidding? he deals with death so, of course, he'll smell like it. or maybe you've finally lost it and whatever scent you carried had rubbed off on him with your close proximity.

closing your eyes, you tried to focus on the good parts. the scent of the candied chestnuts and sweet potatoes that you ate earlier in your festival meal, the faint floral residue of the perfume you wore, the quick whiff you got of saltwater and sea plants... ah, you arrived. peering over xiao's shoulder, you tried to find a suitable spot to rest. you wouldn't appreciate your socks getting wet so definitely not near the waters. you have a hard time removing the dirt stains on your clothes so not the hills. the other parts are occupied by monsters and you couldn't be bothered with defeating them first.

biting back a sigh, you rolled your shoulders back. you might've been unusually picky tonight but you were about to relay some life-changing news. comfortability should be your right because soon it wouldn't even matter anymore. you swear it's just about that. you were certainly not procrastinating on the inevitable.

"we're here. speak now and fulfill your end of the bargain."

you chuckle nervously, "you really need to relax a little... would it kill you to be softer?"

"softness would do me no favors and neither would your avoidance. tell me now or i'll find out for myself."

" woah, there... is that a threat? we're not enemies here. i think i should remind you that."

he says your name once, eyes narrowed in a warning and you sigh in defeat, "okay. fine. i'm sick."

"sick? then shouldn't you be resting?"

you sighed, leaning against the trunk of an old tree, "like i said, it wouldn't help me."

"hmph. you mortals are so difficult. you say one thing and the other says another—"

"i'm dying," you interrupt him with a humorless smile, "there's no recovering no matter what i do so i'm out here walking while i still can. it's sad, isn't it?"

xiao swallows as he feels his blood freeze over. surely not? of all the people in liyue, he was one of those that painfully knew the permanency of death the best. it was not something to be thrown around as a foul joke! anger swells up in his chest but as he eyes the distraught hidden in your carefree smile, he finds his words dying in his throat. surely not...

"i was out here to say goodbye to you because... there probably won't be a next time. when you found me, i was just about to call for you but my body beat you to it."

he was certain that he was being delusional. of course, he has to be! the weight of his karma must've finally made his nightmares bleed into reality but that was it, wasn't it? nightmares, dreams... all of it could come blurring into the reality he perceives but they would never amount to be anything but that. dreams are dreams and reality is reality. there was no way that someone as pure and gentle as you would be fated to an early death. that was not how karma works. he would know.

"xiao? it's... a good time to say something? i'm getting pretty scared of your silence..."

the yaksha doesn't speak, doesn't breathe even as his fingers trembled at his side. you look too weak, too fragile to be the person he once knew. you try to reach out to him — anything to snap him out of his confused daze but he backs away. he backs away because the moment he feels your warmth radiate over his skin, he'll know that it was real — that he'd lose you many years before he expected to — and xiao refuses to accept that. he couldn't. it feels too much of a crime to add to his already long list.

"hey now... don't go avoiding speech when you just threatened me to say something..."

something foreign stirs in him. it's hot and suffocating and if that wasn't enough to say that it wasn't a good sign then nothing else would be. he's never been good with anything foreign, having been stuck in liyue for as long as he could remember and so when he feels that strange feeling bubble up — when he feels his chest close up and when he feels abnormally sharp claws carve at his heart, he schools his face to something colder, sinister even. he wanted to scream, claw his eyes out so the tears wouldn't fall but he can't do that. yakshas who knew death's caress as their first touch don't do that.

"unbelievable. you came all the way from the harbor to tell me this?"

"i— what?"

his grip grew taut and you notice. concerned eyes flitted from his eyes to his fists, convinced that he would've injured himself if it weren't for his gloves, "mortal life is fickle and death consumes your kind every day. there was no reason for you to tell me about such a common occurrence. if that is all, i'll be taking my leave. do not call for measly matters."

you watched as he teleported away, leaving you alone in the islet. not even the cicadas were around to accompany you tonight. it was just silence and unbearable cold.

you should've been mad at him for disregarding your life just like that. how cruel was it to say that you're overreacting when you were just a few hours away from certain doom? being mad was your right. no one would've judged you for it but how could you be mad?

he was crying.

you don't think you could bear to witness the sight one more time and so you left back to liyue harbor where it was easier to pretend that the voices in your head didn't exist.

CHRYSANTHEMUMS ARE BEAUTIFUL — and they would make for wonderful funeral flowers, you mused to yourself as you patiently eyed the vase that decorated director hu's office. she was out with zhongli doing god knows what but the undertaker in front was kind enough to let you wait inside. you'd rather not deal with the gossip that was sure to come. if someone were to catch you idling around in front of a funeral parlor, well, they'd surely jump to conclusions — correct conclusions.

"oho? ohoho? well, look who's visiting, mr. zhongli!"

"ah... yes... this is certainly a surprise but not quite unwelcomed. may i ask what brings you here?"

you laughed as hu tao came over to give you a hug, her cheeks smooshing against yours as she playfully cuddled into your seated form, "i came to inquire if that discount is still up for grabs?"

"hm? did you murder someone or something?"

"director hu," zhongli sighs as he offers you a cup of tea that was, thankfully, made already, "i hardly think that is an appropriate question to ask."

"no, it's fine. it's not a question i can't answer because i'm still perfectly innocent," you paused, "as far as i know?"

hu tao pulled away. with her seated in her chair properly, the scent of plum blossom that clung to her was gone and you could once again smell the incense that wrapped the entire building, "if not for some poor guy that you beat up, then for whom are you asking?"

"about that... aha, it's for me," your eyes meet zhongli's, and... who were you kidding, of course, he knew. the sad smile he sent you was comforting. it's nice to know that even after you pass, a god would still remember your name.

without letting hu tao ask, you recounted the interaction between you and the nuns of the church of favonius as well as your brief meeting with baizhu. aether had insisted that you get a second opinion and you didn't see the point when that night, you fainted out of the sheer pain that pierced through your chest once again. if there was truly hope left for you, then at least one of the potions albedo gave you would've quelled the pain, even if it was a measly bit.

"i see... i'm sorry to hear that. unfortunately, there is nothing that we can offer to suspend your fate but at the very least, we can give you a send-off to be remembered."

it's so strange to see her suddenly don a professional tone but you should've known better than to doubt her. despite her unusualness, hu tao was someone who's incredibly passionate about her job. you didn't need to know about funerary ethos to see that, "i was hoping i could leave the arrangements to you? i'm not really picky and i don't really have much time to ponder about the details. anything's fine as long as it's for close friends only uh... that is if they want to come..."

"i see... that can be settled. anything else?"

"i'd like chrysanthemums to be used and... um... is it possible to hold the rites without my body?"

"it could be done but... why?"

you shrugged casually. this was surprisingly an easy conversation though... you are talking to hu tao who has an unconventional but good perspective on life and death, "i don't think i'll be able to return to liyue from inazuma."

hu tao nods understandingly before proceeding to explain the things that were going to be done during the funeral itself. you wonder why she's telling you all of this when it wouldn't matter to you. still, you listen. this was important to her and it's... oddly heartwarming to see her determination as she worked.

"on behalf of everyone in wangsheng funeral parlor, no, everyone you've ever encountered, we are sorry to see you go. thank you for everything that you've done for us and we hope that you live the rest of your days to the fullest."

hu tao bows deeply in respect and zhongli follows suit, leaving you in an awkward position. you wanted to say that it wasn't necessary but maybe this was some cultural tradition that you didn't want to overlook. hesitantly, you bowed back out of respect before muttering that you had a ship to catch which, wasn't too far from the truth.

"please... allow me to walk you out."

zhongli sends you a polite smile, eyes seemingly hinting for you to accept and that was enough for you to indulge in curiosity. giving one last wave to hu tao, you step out of her office and into the well-maintained hallways of the establishment.

"forgive me if this is too intrusive to ask but... have you told anyone else?"

you huffed in amusement, "he knows if that's your true question."

"did you tell him yesterday?"

surprised, you only nodded as zhongli sighed with a soft shake of his head, "no wonder..."

"what do you mean by that?"

laying a hand on the small of your back, zhongli guided you away from a rushing passerby. liyue's streets are always busy. you don't think it'll ever stop for anyone, "miss goldet approached us in distress earlier. it was what director hu and i sorted when you first arrived."

"verr goldet? did something happen?"

"quite. a big chunk of dihua marsh was... damaged last night as the miasma seemed to mysteriously grow rampant."

you froze. xiao... "is he alright?"

"it's hard to be 'alright' when encountering such news..." he bitterly smiled, "loss is a battle constantly fought by those who have lived and will continue to live for many millennia. the more losses you have suffered, the less you know how to accept fate."

worry began etching itself on your features. this was far from what you expected to happen when you told xiao. if anything, it was him whom you expected to take the news the best as he had grown used to speaking words that portray him and death as close acquaintances. you were foolish to think that, in retrospect, and you wonder if you had made a mistake. as if sensing your thoughts, zhongli halts and briefly holds your hand as a signal.

"there is no outrunning the invitation of death however when you are told of this fact before you pass and you choose to silently take it to your grave, it is the living that must suffer the consequences of your action. mourning will never not cause pain but when you weren't told anything and weren’t given any time to anticipate loss, things that hurt, hurt more. "

zhongli pats your shoulder sympathetically, "that young adeptus has suffered a perilous life. it does not come as a surprise that he has run away from that which threatens to bring him pain once more. perhaps you would say that he should be used to such unexpected events after all that has transpired in the many wars he had witnessed but, dearest child, has he ever adored anyone as much as he adored you?"

"he hasn't... but he will," you cleared your throat, looking into the direction of yujing terrace, "he'll find someone who adores him just as much and he'll learn to return the favor."

the former archon chuckles as he follows your gaze, "do you say that to remove the guilt from your heart or do you say that because that is your wish for him? the words you speak now are words you could speak because he has spared you the sight of his anger and what is anger if not the part of him that loves you?"

"xiao cannot be judged by the same measure you use amongst your kind for he, himself, has suffered far too many grievances that none of you can comprehend. does it come as a shock when you see that anger is the only emotion he speaks?"

"anger... is the only emotion he speaks?"

"his affection has turned into an anger for his being that deserves none of your tenderness. his compassion has turned into an anger that drives him to continue to swear by his contract with rex lapis. now, his sorrow has manifested into an anger that screams for you whom he believed deserved a fate much kinder than what was bestowed. mayhaps not with him but xiao has only ever prayed for your safety and happiness. see him now and you'll see his resentment for the world that dared treat you with anything but kindness."

"is that why you're here?" you smile listlessly, "because you cannot fault him for his anger?"

zhongli shakes his head, mirroring your words from earlier, "is that your true question?"

"would you answer me if i told you it wasn't?"

"very clever," he chuckles with eyes misting over with subtle pride, "but if you must know... i simply think that one shouldn't miss such an opportunity. there is no greater pain than saying your farewells once the moment has passed when you had the chance to offer it in the moment it truly mattered.

"ah, i didn't realize we've walked this far. this is as far as i will go. please consider my words kindly and though it may mean very little now," zhongli lays a hand over your head as he tips his head slightly, "you have my blessing. may you go forth in prosperity.

"and he says he has placed his past behind..." you whisper to yourself as you make your way back to dihua marsh.

"you there! may i interest you with our selection of flowers?"

you blinked, "flowers?"

ONCE PERCHED AS A CROWN OF HOPEFUL DREAMS — nervously nibbling on your lip, you paced back and forth as you held your occupied hands in front of you. maybe this was a mistake and maybe zhongli was wrong to say that you should still venture to mutter your farewell when xiao has strictly told you to only call him if it's for urgent concerns.

ah, but is your passing not an urgent concern?

gulping, you looked at the bright blue sky above you. beidou wouldn't take it too kindly if you delay her any further when you were one of the people who pestered her to speed up the preparations for sailing. besides, if you didn't speak now, you wouldn't be able to speak to him ever again. with that in mind, you hugged the white chrysanthemums close to your chest.

"xiao," a soft gust of wind blows past your form and slowly, you opened your eyes to meet dull, amber ones.

"you called?"

"i did."

an awkward silence fills the small space in between you two and before he could utter something about leaving (you knew him and you recognize the downward curve of his lips), you spoke.

"i'm leaving for inazuma in a few hours and... i don't want last night to be our last conversation. i don't want you to hate yourself for telling me such words and i don't want to hate myself for keeping my silence. i think that... we both have too little time for that."

"...you're leaving?"

"i made a few friends in inazuma and while we spent the shortest time together, i figured i still owe them a goodbye," you walked towards the same tree you were leaning on before and sat under its shade, "sit with me?"

xiao hesitates before taking the spot beside you, leaving enough space so that you wouldn't be touching each other.

"...fair enough. um... i don't even know what i want to say but... i want you to listen. you can leave anytime you want. i won't hold it against you. you don't need to reply either. i just need you to hear me out or y'know... try to, at least."

taking his silence as his agreement, you looked down at your lap. you don't think you could meet his gaze. his eyes are too honest and his honesty was painful. too painful even for you who'll only need to bear it for a few more days, "uh so... i'm— fuck, okay."

"i'm sorry."

you pause in surprise, abruptly looking at him to see xiao's gaze turned to someplace far away, "what?"

"i'm sorry for running away and i'm sorry for not being able to protect you."

"you couldn't have done anything."

xiao scoffs, tracing over his mask bitterly, "isn't that the point? ...my feelings for you are difficult but i had sworn to you that i would protect you from whatever dares to lay you in harm's way. i didn't fail. i've come to your aid before anyone could even do so much as give you a scratch. i thought... that if i watched over liyue well enough, you'd at least live a prosperous life. i never dared ask for more. that much is enough."

"xiao..."

"but despite my efforts, death has no mercy and it sent a curse that i could never face. is this... a product of my karma? was the world's grudge so severe that it has to take the one person i swore to protect no matter what the cost?"

"this is not your fault! it's no one's so..." your indignant stance falters as he sends you a glare.

"do you think i'm so foolish that i don't know that? i do," he clenches his teeth, "but it doesn't change the fact that you're dying and i can't do anything. somehow, that makes me feel at fault no matter how absurd it sounds."

you slump further into the soil as he continues. in a similar absurd manner, it makes you feel sorry that you're dying, "you are... the only person who tried to understand me and succeeded and you'll be the only person to ever make me wonder about life's pleasures. i will remember you until my own demise comes and if sinners can receive the blessing of reincarnation too, then i shall remember you in mine as well."

for a while, you didn't respond and when you finally regained your bearings, you laugh lightheartedly, "and to think i came all the way here to ask you to let me go... i forgot how stubborn you can be."

"calling the adepti stubborn? hmph. you have some nerve."

"i still think it's better if you forget about me. it'll make you suffer less. make it hard to remember that i can't offer my comfort even if i want to with all my soul."

xiao raises a brow, a sigh escaping his lips as he sent you another half-hearted glare, "you might have forgotten so i shall remind you. though i am an adeptus, i could not care less about granting human wishes."

"and you don't ever have to worry about that," you scrunch your nose as you pinched his cheek much to his flustered surprise, "most people would rather live the rest of their lives in misery than bear through your agonizing glare."

"let me go—"

"you didn't let me finish."

"what now?" he mutters as he successfully pried himself off your grip.

"i won't tell you how to live your life. if you want to hold on to me until the next time we meet, fine by me. i'll rush to you as soon as i see you enter the pearly gates or something. if you want to remember my face until the very end of your years, then i'll remember your name for just as long but xiao... i also want you to be happy. i want to look down from up there and say 'ah, he's smiling... i'm glad.' i want you to try to live because if your adoration for me hasn't changed when we meet again, i'd want to be able to tell you that you carried me so well in your heart that it almost felt like i was still alive too. those simple wishes are the only things i'll ask from you because... hah, for the longest time that was my dream. i hoped to make you smile more myself but i don't think i'll be able to do that now... am i selfish for asking this?"

"you wish me happiness?"

taking his surprise as an opportunity, you laid the tightly knit carnations on his head, "why wouldn't i? you're the one this world owes it to the most."

"and this is?"

"a flower crown! i've always wanted to learn how to make one and that kind merchant in liyue taught me just in time. i'm offering the first and last one i'll ever make to you. i know you just said that you don't grant wishes but... is it bad for me to hope that i'm special enough to be spoiled by you?"

"such mortal accessories... do not suit me."

you rolled your eyes, "says who? you? invalid. i refuse to accept it. y'know... when you're not too busy glowering, you have really soft features that match such soft flowers."

xiao's eyes widened almost imperceptibly. thankfully, you knew him well enough to notice such minor changes. smirking in delight, you lean further into him as you watch a red hue slowly stain his skin, "oh? do compliments fluster you? my, my—"

"if you still want to go to inazuma in one piece, i'd shut up now."

"shutting up~"

chrysanthemums carry the weight of a million words. to some, they are a symbol of life and rebirth. to others, it's a symbol of devoted love and loyalty. to the less fortunate, they are tokens of grief — a beautiful message that honors the full life of the dead. chrysanthemums mean everything and anything but as you inched closer to xiao, no longer needing the respectable boundary between your two hurt souls, chrysanthemums could only mean the memory of someone to be cherished even beyond what this life could offer.

it's a shame that you must limit your shared joys to optimistic wishes but it'll do. even if the afterlife didn't exist, your equal adoration for him would continue to persist even after your body perishes. it was a promise. one you sealed with the crown he hesitantly wore.

“don’t tie down your happiness to me, xiao,” you lean on his shoulder, smiling softly when he didn’t pull away, “you deserve more than that kind of joy.”

╰ taglist

@dourpeep @justsidecharacterthings @nightfloweruponahill @chichikoi @genshiningg @bloopsimpsforxiao @midnightraindropme @infinite-cats @horangheyy @zephestia @diaflower @justlynna

© 2021 𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐗𝐗. all rights reserved. do not copy, claim, repost or translate in any platforms but reblogs are appreciated.

this genre of seonghwa

boyfriend!wooyoung - atz video diary au

⤷ the world was always so dull and uninviting...until the day wooyoung came into your life. and maybe, just maybe, your world became just a little bit brighter

—song: blue by keshi

OH MY LORDDDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

16 | slowly rest your head on my shoulder. (1k words)

you sigh and smile in content. the last time you got to loosen up like this was when you got through your first year of college. it's been months since then and you find yourself here right now, enjoying with friends, your worries at the very back of your mind.

it's already past midnight, three in the morning. most of your companions scattered around the almost empty bar, passed out either on the floor or on one of the couches. but you see venti, kaeya, kazuha, and hu tao on one of the bar tables, still taking shots together. laughing and slurring at whatever they're talking about. you giggle slightly at them.

goodness, they have monster livers.

your mind is a little hazy but you're sober enough to be aware of your surroundings and remember everything that happened tonight. you didn't drink alcohol as much as the others did. you probably only had roughly a bottle of liquor. you can handle your alcohol well, but you chose to tone down your intake this time. considering that there are other people accompanying your friend group today, you didn't want to embarrass yourself in front of them.

you stand up from where you're sitting and decide to head outside the bar, wanting to get some fresh air.

in the dim staircase, you see the silhouette of someone at the end, sitting on the curb of the street. (the bar is underground and the entrance is a staircase, if you didn't get the picture) you jog your way up the stairs and stop just behind the person.

you realize that it's scaramouche.

you didn't want to admit it, but you secretly kept looking for him inside the bar when he disappeared somewhere. not only was he late but he only stayed with the group for an hour or two before disappearing by himself. he didn't even interact with his friends much, just quietly drinking in the corner of the bar. when you realized that he was nowhere in sight, you just assumed that he went home by himself.

so this is where he went.

you study him. he's facing the quiet street, holding a shot glass and a bottle beside him.

you make your presence known by coughing slightly. "is this how antisocials hang out when they go to a bar with their friends?”

he turns his head to look at you. he let's out a breath, almost like a laugh, and smirks lazily. "what, missed me already?"

"you wish. i just came out for fresh air." you make a move to sit down beside him on the curb, the bottle of liquor between the two of you.

"you're kind of a moron. but i know you can get there."

you suddenly remember his words earlier today. after the debate, you've been thinking about your view of him ever since he said those words of comfort to you. if it were any other person who said them, you would've laughed at their bad effort of trying to be supportive.

but those words came from him. which made them completely different and special. knowing him, it was the best consolation he could give to someone and, most especially, to you.

so you begin to see him in a new light. perhaps he's not as bad of a person as you thought. perhaps he doesn't actually think you're below him. you think that maybe his way of friendship is through offending people but with no actual malice. or perhaps he just doesn't know how to approach people normally.

but all of those are mere speculation in your perspective. you realize that you can't get to know him properly if you keep pushing your petty grudge on him.

moments pass with just the two of you sitting there saying nothing.

"we did good." you slur slightly, the tiredness that your body felt is now only settling. "i wonder why we didn't get partnered for debates at all back in highschool. not that i wanted to, though."

he stares at you for a second before explaining, "i organized the debates in a way for us to always be on separate teams. being pres had its perks."

you notice that he didn't slur his words at all. how many bottles did he have? you wonder.

"are you not drunk at all?" you ask.

"i can hold my liquor." much to xiao's disappointment "what? thought you could catch me slipping?"

"kind of."

"never." he laughs slightly.

although he did say that, it's quite obvious that he's out of it to some extent. he's snarky, but his remarks are more lighthearted than usual. or maybe he's just too tired to start his usual arguments with you. who knows.

he grabs the bottle between the two of you, uncapping it to refill his glass.

he's so passive right now that you find it weird.

once he's done filling his shot glass, he hands you the bottle that still has one shot worth of liquor in it. "you can finish it. i've had enough."

you accept it, "you sure you didn't drink from this bottle?"

he looks at you boredly. "why do you think i have a glass with me?"

"just making sure." you shrug and down what's left of the bottle in one go. scaramouche follows you and takes his shot.

you cough at the bitter taste, squinting slightly as you take in the alcohol. you place the bottle back down beside you. you sniff and wipe your face with your sleeve.

you sigh heavily and rest your head on your palm. you feel your muscles relax and your eyes start to droop out of exhaustion. your head swaying slightly, trying to keep it upright.

you take a sleepy glance at scaramouche only to find him already staring at you.

"you look ugly." he says.

"and you have a bowlcut..." you mumble back.

you finally let yourself succumb to sleep. so out of it that you don't feel his hand slowly guiding your head to his shoulder.

you two sit there, side by side, with you dozing off. silence engulfing you both and street lights illuminating your features.

a peaceful and intimate moment with only the moon as your witness.

and as you continue to drift in your dreamland, passed out and unaware of your surroundings, you don't hear the quiet mutter under his breath that's forever lost to the soft breeze of the cold morning.

"you did good today. i'm proud of you."

raised the bar !

masterlist / prev - next

synopsis yn thought she finally escaped the perpetual doom of constantly placing 2nd after she graduated high school. but alas! the leaderboard has her name printed under another’s! a name she thought she’d never get to see again. better luck next time, i guess.

a/n: just some of their instagram story highlights! because is it really a social media au if there aren't irl ulzzang photos 😭

anw that's a wrap for the act one of this smau!! the next updates will continue on act two which will focus more on yn and scara's development and will reveal more about their struggles and stories since act one focused more on introducing the characters and their dynamics.

{ ⚖︎ } taglist — @iwziu @nejibot @thenightsflower @crowbird @scaramouchekink @bleedingwhiteroses222 @dksfl920 @sevynnee @hangezoessidehoe @lunaflvms @ifelloutofbed @aerasoline @cloud-emoji-exe @platinumuse @lovelyiez @yolotokyoo

if your username isn't darkened like the others that means i unfortunately can't tag you

If you want to be part of the taglist, just reply, dm, or ask!

𓂃 xiao + idiot in love .

xiao hates you. he's completely sure of it.

you make his heart race, his palms turn sweaty whenever you're seated right beside him— and that's a huge problem because you're his seatmate for the entire school year.

his stomach twists and turns when you smile, and his breathing constricts everytime he gets a sniff of your hair whenever you take a closer look at his notes.

you always smelled like strawberries, sweet and pungent, just the way he likes.

yeah, xiao was definitely sure that he despises your entire being. 

"how do you know if you like someone?"

kazuha perks up from the question. he looks at the boy sitting beside him, raising an eyebrow and the slight upward quirk to his lips doesn't go unnoticed.

the blond was sure that more unusual things have happened to him in the past, like how he discovered that all cats run away from itto. however, xiao asking him this question is becoming remarkable on its own.

"what are you looking at?" the other boy growls at him. 

kazuha rolls his eyes playfully. he had almost forgotten how defensive his friend could be. "are we talking about y/n?" the blond prods— he knows that only one person could have caused this.

"w-what?! no! why would you even think that?! i can't stand them." 

see? defensive.

"besides, i was asking for a friend."

kazuha had to stop himself from bursting into laughter. instead, he opts to deadpanly say, "sure."

the kaedehara descent hums, thinking to himself. he had to be careful on what he says next as it will either give xiao a push or lead the other to even more confusion.

"you feel happy when you see them?"

the other rejoices inside. 

xiao, although he'd never admit it to kazuha, is thinking about you. don't get him wrong— he doesn't doubt that his feelings for you are 100% less than platonic— however,  an upperclassman, one he looks up to the most, asked him to reconsider his thoughts on his feelings.

(he remembers the golden eyes that pierced through his soul earlier, "are you sure of that, xiao? hate is a strong word." a rich deep voice says.)

he's sure that whenever he sees you, he doesn't feel happy. the opposite happens actually— he feels nervous and jittery when you enter the room and he finds this extremely out of character for him. and that's one of the reasons why he's with kazuha right now (of course aside from consulting the blond); he tries to hide from you to gain a sense of normalcy even if it was temporary.

"although, despite feeling happy with them, you try to avoid them too." kazuha adds, still deep in thought. "maybe because you feel shy?"

xiao grimaces. he is never shy.

"or maybe you're scared that you'll potentially embarrass yourself? either way, you always try to put some distance between the two of you."

the dark haired man becomes more confused than ever! he came here to make things clear (not that he needed to because he's certain what he feels for you is less than platonic, remember?), and yet kazuha is no help at all.

"you're not helping."

"how did you know? did your friend tell you just now?"

"what—? oh, no. this isn't the answer that my friend is looking for."

kazuha snorts, knowing that whatever xiao told him was a lie. leaning forward, he tries to find more about the never ending saga of xiao's feelings, "what's your friend looking for then?"

"well," your seatmate shrugs, thinking. "my friend told me his heart races whenever he sees this person and his hands get really sweaty. and then their stomach turns and they find themself short in breath whenever this person is around— that's disgust right?"

kazuha's jaw dropped on the floor; he hadn't expected it to be this bad for archon's sake. 

"i mean, that's how i feel whenever i see a broccoli or whatever." 

the blond finally loses it; he starts uncontrollably laughing. did he just compare you to a green vegetable? kazuha had to inhale sharply to attempt to hold in his laughter, feeling the glare that was being sent his way.

"you—" xiao starts to threaten, however he is cut off short when the door to the class opens, revealing the last person he wanted to see now. 

you enter the room, looking for a certain dark haired gremlin you had as a seatmate. there is less than five minutes before lunch break ends and you were starting to get worried without xiao sitting beside you. so, after asking a lot of people if they had seen him (god was he hard to find, it was as if he was avoiding you), you find yourself staring at the man of the hour, beside a very purple kazuha.

(why is he holding his breath?)

"xiao! classes are about to start soon." 

"y-yeah, i'll be right there." he stutters, and you definitely saw him kicking his blond friend under the table when kazuha attempted to speak. you eye them both suspiciously before quickly noticing xiao's reddened cheeks.

(with his green undertones on his hair, he certainly looked like a poorly decorated christmas tree.)

you take a step closer to the pair before putting the back of your palm on your seatmate's forehead. "you seem fine, you don't have a fever."

kazuha on the side audibly gasps.

if xiao didn't feel hot earlier, he's certain he is now. heat rises and covers his entire face and he sees your eyebrows furrow. without giving you a chance to speak, xiao practically shoves you away (rude), before disappearing behind the doors.

you turn to the blond left behind, "what's up with him?"

kazuha shrugs, as if teasing, "i don't know. what's up between you two?

♥︎ please do not repost or translate without my permission . reblogs are heavily appreciated!

dedicated to my friend @eufrsr who's finally a xiao haver!

Ateez as stages of grief

Denial

Shock & Anger

Bargaining

Depression & Pain

Reconstruction & The Upward Turn

Acceptance

trouble in paradise?

in which you and your rival co-actor were partnered up for your chemistry on-screen…and now that you’ve realized it, it’s proven to become more of a challenge not to fall for each other. (or : short dialogues shared)

character/s: albedo, ayato, childe, kazuha, scaramouche, xiao

a/n: hehe hi @sohyuki

childe.

getting interviewed about dating rumors,

“is it true that the both of you really aren’t together?”

it takes every fiber in you to not choke or spit out the water in your mouth, as you (shakily) set down the previously offered water bottle with a hasty and composed smile. “again, neither of us are interested in dating each other. we do admit that we have an…amiable relationship as co-actors, but definitely nothing more or less than that.”

yeah right, you can feel your inner voice openly chide as your eyes flit towards childe’s in masked panic. however, all you witness from your co-actor is his irritatingly polite smile, and a seemingly unfazed demeanor despite the intrusive and bothersome question.

“i don’t know, i think we look pretty good together.” he grins in a boyish manner, his slender fingers somehow finding its way to tease a lock of your hair within his grasp. you can feel a blush creep upon your cheeks at the unexpected remark, and you fight the urge to cuss him out in the middle of national television. not when your interviewer was clearly gushing at the sight of you two, and the glint of mischief in his ocean blue eyes almost dare to taunt you in his twisted idea of a challenge.

“it’s a shame,” you seethe through gritted teeth and a forced smile, discreetly unlacing his fingers from your freshly styled bed of hair. “that we’re just friends who aren’t attracted to each other.”

“says who?” you hear him pipe jokingly from beside you, and you swear your head whips back to him faster than lightning, a bewildered look evident in your eyes. “for all we know, i could have been secretly in love with you for the last few months.”

“ha ha, really funny.” you swallow the words as his fingers casually bump against yours, the warm sensation of it rendered as something foreign in your brain. it takes a moment to also register that his face was now inches from yours, a playful smirk on his face as he revels in the sight of your disbelief.

“funny, huh? care to find out whether it’s true, then?”

your tomato-hued face was the one thing childe took pride in, before the director giddily shouted ‘cut!’, and the interview was finally over.

the next day, your names were in bold headlines — and to much of your evident disappointment, even more rumors of the both of you “dating” were scattered all over the gushing press and intrigued audience.

xiao.

photographing for a magazine cover,

“how much longer do you have to touch me?”

“you think i appreciate this any more than you do?” he sneers, amber irises recoiling quickly in disgust at the sight of you. “stop moving and let’s get this over with.”

“that’s great, you two look perfect!” the photographer praises in evident enthusiasm from behind. “could you bring the lady a little closer to your chest?”

a squeak comes out of you when you feel your co-actor obey the order, much to his utter dismay. “you keep writhing. could you tone that down for a fucking second?”

“well in case you haven’t noticed, i’m not exactly the most comfortable with—!” your words catch in your throat when xiao slyly angles his head down to a patch of skin on your neck. you can hear his breath hitch and your pulse quicken at the little gesture, his seething words suddenly coming out clearer than ever against your flushed complexion.

“neither am i. now you’d better shut up, before i make you.”

“that pose is perfect! adjust your expressions — yes, keep it like that for a bit longer!”

it almost hurts to keep your breathing controlled, but it’s all you can do to calm the thrumming of your heart, as your conflicted eyes meet his indecipherable irises boring straight back into yours.

“…fine. dickwad.”

“incessant bitch.”

scaramouche.

bickering after a kissing scene,

“oi, someone get me some mouthwash.” you hear your co-actor grumble in disgust, while hastily wiping his lips with the back of his hand.

“a mint for me.” you scoff in return, only rolling your eyes when he turns to you with a death glare that seemed to harbor a shred of disbelief. “what? you taste like shit.”

“yeah, because i kissed shit.”

your scowl deepens at his words, and it takes the director’s exhausted command to split the sparking tension apart between you two. a part of you felt bad, considering this had already become some sort of “normal” routine ever since he scouted the both of you to play the main roles in a romantic film. but could he blame the both of you for getting pissed off after having to repeat that damned kissing scene for several takes?

“the good news is,” the director inhales a hefty breath. “that’s the last kissing scene you have to do together.”

“well, i wouldn’t intend to kiss her ever again.” scaramouche snorts. “she’s one hell of a shitty kisser.”

“oh like you were any better, dipshit.”

“you really wanna go at it right now?” his eyes flicker over to yours in a fit of darkness.

“what, you’re gonna prove me wrong or something?”

“maybe i will.” he growls in irritation, before violently snatching your wrist and dragging you with him to retreat inside his trailer, as you both quietly bicker amongst yourselves…but nevertheless, strangely don’t seem to be recoiling away from each other at the notion of kissing again.

“but, we have another scene to film in seven minutes—”

“any of you step inside that trailer and i’ll beat your ass up.” he threatens for the last time, a mysterious glint in his eyes as he lazily glances over his shoulder to meet the rest of the production crew’s astonished gazes. “we’ll come out when we’re finished with our business.”

kaedehara kazuha.

walking on the red carpet,

“y/n, over here!”

the flashing of crowded camera lights momentarily blind you with their intense illumination, but you work up a smile for the audience anyway. it’s been thirty minutes since you’ve found yourself posing for the cameras, however now you wanted nothing more than to sit down and tend to the blisters that were beginning to sting at your feet from your heels.

you take a few steps toward the venue, ever so slightly swaying in your stance as you grit your teeth and endure the sudden bursts of pain. if you could just walk a bit quicker to reach the confines of the marbled threshold that awaits…

but the deafening shout of the final group of photographers snap you out from your daze, glancing over your shoulder as they excitedly beckon you over to take the last batch of photos before entering inside.

you shift in your steps…albeit a little too hurriedly, as your feet begin to wobble and you feel yourself about to fall down —

only to be (unwillingly) caught by none other than your unfazed co-actor. his hands slip around your waist to securely straighten your body, and you can’t help but gape in astonishment at the uncharacteristic yet gentlemanly gesture.

“love, you look like an idiot staring at me.”

your eyebrows furrow at the slightly rude comment, annoyed at how his averted eyes never seem to meet yours. “i think i had it under control.” you mutter beneath your breath, forcing a smile for the cameras and gushing photographers, as his thumb lazily traces circles on your waist in a form of reassurance.

“you can bicker all you want later, when we reach the entrance.” he smirks in amusement, before nonchalantly resting his head on your shoulder to pose differently for the pictures, his intrusive breath tickling your ears. “just smile and look pretty, love. like always.”

it’s frustrating to fight the blush that settles on your cheeks as he puts on a facade and eventually guides you inside with that fucking knowing grin.

albedo.

attending a costume fitting,

“stand still.” you hear him mutter in a low breath, as he wraps the measuring tape around the curve of your waist.

you let out a dry scoff. “who let you do this?”

“it’s not that difficult of a task,” albedo replies, peering down at the red number on the white band. “so i offered to help out.”

“well make it quick,” you clear your throat, cocking your head to the side in attempts to hide the flush on your cheeks. “it’s been fifteen minutes. i’m starving.”

“are you?” he hums, never raising his teal irises to meet yours in turn. “or are you just scared?”

you frown at the boy. “why would i be scared?”

albedo tugs lightly on the measuring tape around your body, causing you to tumble forward and closer to his face. your eyes jolt wide open at the close proximity, and the forbidden thumping in your heart grows worse at the clearer sight of him.

“a-albedo?” you blurt out, shifting your eyes somewhere else to avoid his piercing gaze. “what the hell are you doing?” you peek over his shoulder at the wide open door. “what if someone sees us?”

a corner of his lip tugs upward in an attractive manner. “ah, is that why?” followed by a teasing chuckle. “you’re scared i might do something to you.”

“jeez, i’m not afraid—” you bite your tongue hastily in aggression, when he suddenly tilts his head to inch closer towards your lips.

“it’s in your eyes right now,” he remarks in a low voice, noting the way your breath remains caught in your throat. “you’re scared i’ll end up kissing you.”

you swallow thickly in the haze of his pervading cologne, unable to say anything to refute his words. because yeah, maybe he was right. maybe you were scared about the centimeter distance. maybe you were scared that your rival co-actor might press his soft mouth against yours without acting. maybe you were scared about what that would mean in your career and competitive relationship.

bringing your hands down to his, you pry his grasp off the tape around your waist. “well, you got what you needed. i’m leaving.”

as you hurriedly make your way towards the exit of the room, albedo stays behind to fill out the last measurement required on the sheet of paper, before eventually allowing a begrudging sigh to escape from between his pressed lips.

“ah…for a second, i almost wanted to kiss her.”

ayato.

helping with your make-up,

“why does he have to do this again?” you groan in your seat, jutting out a finger at the boy setting down another cosmetic near a station organized by the wide mirror.

“‘cause i know how to do it well.” ayato smiles, but there’s something close to a mischievous intent masked behind blue-grey irises.

you glare over at the director, who ended up shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. “just a few more minutes and it’s over. you’re getting paid to put up with him anyway.”

“god knows i wish i wasn’t,” you scoff, about to bury your face in your hands, before suddenly remembering you were already caked with make-up.

“one last touch,” you hear him hum, watching as he swipes his finger across a light pink tint before reluctantly bringing his hand closer to your face.

you can’t even protest as he brushes the pigment softly against the plush of your lips, the rest of his fingers cupping your cheek in a gentle manner. ayato strokes the shade once, twice, and perhaps once more for an extra measure — before suddenly pausing in his movements.

you wonder what he’s busy gawking at, and then it belatedly hits you — he’s staring at your mouth.

“ahem,” you aggressively clear your throat, snapping him out of his temporary daze.

“ah, it’s done.” ayato instantly comments, and it irks you to see how he doesn’t even seem bothered that you had clearly caught him admiring your lips back there.

“weirdo.” you grumble, pushing yourself off the seat to scrutinize the boy’s finished work in the mirror. “hm, i suppose it’s…not bad.”

your hesitant comment causes his eyes to shift from the cosmetics, towards the sight of your reflection in the mirror.

“well, would you look at that,” he grins cockily, ignoring the way his heart subconsciously races a tad too quickly at the pleasant view of you.

“i finally made you pretty.”

[ - 13 stepbrother au - ]

Tags: Fem!reader, child!reader, platonic fluff, mordern au

Summary: You were young when your father was planning on remarrying again. Your father is always busy always outside the country for work that his fiance said that you could stay at the teyvat residence, and live with 13 of your future stepbrothers!

Characters: Zhongli, Diluc, Kaeya, Albedo, Ayato, Childe, Venti, Xiao, Kazuha, Thoma, Itto, Chongyun, Bennett (Other characters too!)

Hashtag: -

+ Your new home: All + Ask: You are being bullied + Ask: Tea time + Ask: Father’s day + Ask: Dancing practice + Ask: Chocolate kisses ;; dialog + Ask: A puppy, a cat and a parrot + Ask: The handmade gifts / (Other gifts that I considered) + Ask: Swimming lesson + Ask: Failed bike lesson / part two + Ask: You punched a classmate + Ask: They found out you have a crush on someone + Little comforts: Ayato, Kaeya, Albedo + Sleeping in the living room... kind of: Diluc, Kaeya, Xiao (coming soon) + Candies and sweets: All (coming soon) + Drinks and Venti's alcohol: All (coming soon) + A little sleepy (coming soon)

Tags: -

How haikyuu manga (SPOILER) went: everyone is doing fine after time skip, hinata learning volleyball in rio, kageyama ushijima and oikawa are pro players, kenma is very successful young man and sponsoring hinata.

vs.

How haikyuu fandom on twt talk about the manga:

~Twt: @vn_vannies