Hi, I Spent 687 Years On This Piece. And Now I Will Go Back To Bed Before I Complete This Series Of Painting

musical ramblings #5

a legal necessity before i get back into single handed things.

p.s. i have never religion'd in my life.

soldier, poet, king ; the oh hellos

the whole gang is here :]

this analysis isn't gonna be below a cut because it's really just me assigning these idiots their lines.

There will come a solider, who carries a mighty sword He will tear your city down, oh lei, oh lai, oh lord.

starting with the soldiers - Murray & Penelope

though my b team & cooper brother parallel brain wants to make pk the soldier to match murray, i simply think that king works better for the, yknow, panda king. and though penelope seems to be a poet at first glance, i think she's much more down to physically fight someone rather than verbally so.

...she's also the only one who actually has a sword.

There will come a poet, whose weapon is his word He will slay you with his tongue, oh lei, oh lai, oh lord.

the poets - Sly & Dimitri

hey, at least these two match up! bentley and penelope may appear the poets at first glance, being the smart ones and the wordy ones, but i think sly & dimitri are the only two who would really use their words as weapons. er, by the third game, anyway. thievius raccoonus is a different story.

There will come a ruler, whose brow is laid in thorn Smeared with oil like David's boy, oh lei, oh lai, oh lord.

and finally, the kings - Bentley & the Panda King

bentley is the leader of their team, regardless of what Sly says, and therefore the ruler. he's also not gonna slay you with his tongue he's gonna use bombs. despite my lack of knowledge, i gotta admit, the Panda King certainly does seem pretty laid in thorns. dunno what that means but the guy's got it.

Penelope has cured my artblock ✨✨✨

replayed the sly cooper series recently and I missed these two so badly

Thieves In Time Redux Meme #13

Here's how I fixed Thieves In Time...

Anyway, these changes are only the tip of the iceberg...

I know making Penelope the main protagonist is a bold move, but I can't see this story going any other way. Yes, this also means making her fully playable as well.

*epic latin chorus*

Thieves In Time Redux Meme #10

This happens during the events of Jail Break (Episode 2).

And the best part? Penelope not only gets what she wants, she also gets to see a dark future for herself and Bentley through what happened to Sly and Carmelita.

The boys are confined separately unlike canon so Penelope and Carmelita can individually save their boyfriends. Tennessee, meanwhile, gets stuck with saving Murray.

let’s discuss the implications and the importance of Penelope’s introduction through the Black Baron and what it meant for her character development moving on, but without any formalities like post structure, intro, etc. because i have to read 6 Shakespeare plays by the beginning of term.

Flight of Fancy’s premise is that Bentley is looking for an RC specialist to help with the Cooper Vault heist and while searching for one, stumbles upon the supposed love of his life. the title itself literally embodies everything that happens in this episode: unrealistic ideas that couldn’t possibly work, but kudos for the great imagination !?!?? i mean if we strip the episode’s main points of any narration, it sounds like a fever dream. Muggshot returns and gets into an insult competition with Bentley, the big heist involves catapulting spinning windmills onto blimps, Sly survives too many aerial dogfights as an amateur. in the middle of all this, Bentley’s desire to get with Penelope, and Penelope thinking her Black Baron charade wouldn’t end are also two major unrealistic notions.

i’m seriously beating myself up trying to think if there’s an obscure element of homoeroticism at play here or if i’m being annoying (or both. i mean, probably). because absolutely no one suspected Penelope of being the Black Baron, which meant she played the part to a T, if it was even truly just a role (my opinion is that, as much as i hate TiT, Penelope most definitely has inner demons and villain potential, and the way all this is just swept under the rug at the end of the episode is so bizarre). so if Penelope’s masculinity - and masculinity is putting it lightly; sis really channeled her best Tom of Finland, butch queen, ultra-hetero taxidermy porn or some shit idk i don’t understand straighties - came out during the episode and Bentley was still persistent on wanting to bone after the big reveal, then ???? quite honestly, if this game came out today i’d just settle for gender is a social construct, but it didn’t so i’m genuinely curious as to finding out if Bentley is in touch with his femininity and if that was brought on by being a nerd and not an incel. we know SP wanted to make Murray bisexual originally, although we have to idea on what the taste level was gonna be on that (especially in 2002). i’m ending this point by saying that, when it comes to Bentley’s character development in regards to Penelope’s disguise, it defo lead to possibilities and ideas regarding his sexuality, his perception of gender and how in touch with his femininity he is. also, Penelope has a great British accent, we love to see it xx

i keep a cerebral log of my best moments from this hellsite, so let me quote myself: i think i put it best when i described Penelope as ‘a meek woman hiding behind a man’s disguise’ and what that meant. i always talk about how the sLy-VeRsE emulates life, from vices to corruption, from pollution to the treatment of feral animals. part of that includes gender politics and how women are mistreated. Carmelita, despite bringing in countless baddies (literally even a fucking evil mask), always gets shit from Barkley, for example. Penelope is no exception. for her to put her plans into motion she couldn’t do so as a woman, she had to dawn the disguise of the Black Baron. as a man, she is feared by everyone, even Dimitri, and has created an empire, living in a fucking castle lair. can we say girlboss ? i’d like to think that Sly beating her bossfight isn’t the only reason behind her dropping her guise. she is simply forced to overcome a horrible coping mechanism used to appease society. she got way too comfortable doing something which wasn’t right but it was ok. despite what i said about her having inner demons (who doesn’t?), she was never a villain. she was actually a victim of how the world works, so… yeah. that’s basically it.

although A Cold Alliance spotlighted Penelope’s chemistry with the rest of the gang in such a charming way, it wasn’t until Dead Men Tell No Tales that we really got to see her character post Black Baron. and i think for the most part, this was truly a mixed bag. we reach the climax of Penelope being pigeonholed into an unhealthy love triangle between Sly and Bentley (which i’m pretty sure Sly was 100% unaware about). as a baby playing this episode, girl i was living for the drama (Bentley shading Sly about ASCII *audible gasp, hand on chest*). in retrospect though, i couldn’t care less. i think Penelope wouldn’t care for either of them, whatever her sexual orientation is. however, i think it’s only natural she would pick Sly over Bentley. lil mama brawled with Sly on a fucking plane wing mid-flight. anyway, her being kidnapped by LeFwee didn’t quite make sense in my opinion. i mean, i’ve never been taken hostage on a desolate island inhabited by a clan of pirates and prehistoric lizards, but i’m pretty sure she could kick LeFwee’s sexist ass? let’s say the gang truly didn’t have a choice and this was worst case scenario, why did Penelope have to be the hostage again? wasn’t she just taken hostage by Tsao’s dragon? why couldn’t Bentley be kidnapped? LeFwee had beef with him over their competition of intellect, so why not take him instead? SP made progress with Penelope overcoming the Black Baron persona, why not switch the stereotypical gender roles here and have Penelope rescue Bentley, which would result in the same outcome of them getting together? i can’t be that mad at this because in the end she’s the one who fights LeFwee, bringing about the gender role swap i’ve just mentioned. and that’s fascinating. like, it makes sense for her to be able to handle a sword because she lived in a fucking castle for fuck’s sake. and the bossfight ends in one of the most brutal ways in the series, Penelope throwing LeFwee’s chauvinist ass to the sharks. i truly like this ending to the love triangle because it depicted a relationship based on a foundation of equality, equal forces. no one is being disrespected (by each other, not the SP writers unfortunately). and it’s interesting to consider that Penelope went from being a “villain” to accompanying Bentley in creating a new beginning for the Cooper legacy and lineage.

so yeah, to skip the formalities, Penelope is fucking awesome.

Yet another cut scene from Sly 3…

I’m guessing this was the reason that the gang’s first attempt at breaking into Doctor M’s vault didn’t go very well.

Lost Sly 3 scene: Aftermath of the LeFwee battle

===

Here’s yet another “Behind the Scenes” comic.

Bentley and Penelope both come across as MAJORLY socially awkward dorks who don’t have much experience in the romance department. So I can imagine them going a wee bit overboard in the honeymoon phase just after they officially become an item (and annoying the hell out of their team mates in the process).

FUN FACT: My main reason for doing this comic was the desire to put Dimitri’s final line into a story (that part was the first thing I wrote; the rest of the comic was tailored around it). XD

DK House Donkey Kong 64 Rare / Nintendo Nintendo 64 1999