What Your Favorite Sly Cooper Ship Says About You

What your favorite Sly Cooper ship says about you

I was bored during the self-quarantine, so I decided to ripoff @doubleca5t​

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Sly/Carmelita: You think that the only thing that could possibly have made Lupin the 3rd better would be if Lupin and Zenigata really wanted to fuck each other.

Bentley/Penelope: You think the concept of “opposites attract” is highly overrated. And you probably really hate Thieves in Time.

Murray/Penelope: You think that the concept of “opposites attract” could not be rated highly enough. And you probably really hate Thieves in Time.

Sly/Bentley: You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of jumping and pressing the circle-button.

Sly/Murray: Your ideal relationship dynamic involves wacky hijinks, after which, hilarity ensues.

Bentley/Murray: Your ideal relationship dynamic is Nerd and Jock. And by Nerd and Jock I mean that really wholesome Webtoon comic-series.

Bentley/Dimitri: Your ideal relationship dynamic is nerd and theater-kid. And you’re a scalie.

Sly/Bentley/Murray: You think the only way that the found-family trope could possibly be improved is if it involved a polycule.

Sly/Penelope: You are the author of a Sly Cooper/Sailor Moon crossover-AU, wherein Penelope portrays Usagi and Sly portrays Tuxedo Mask. And you probably really hate Thieves in Time.

Carmelita/Penelope: You think it’s a real shame that Sly 3 doesn’t pass the Bechdel-test. You probably also think that the redesigns in Thieves in Time were either too horny or not horny enough.

Carmelita/Contessa: Looking back on your childhood you can pinpoint Sly 2: Band of Thieves as the catalyst of your hypnosis fetish.

Sly/Panda-King: Your ideal relationship dynamic is enemies to friends to lovers.

Murray/Panda-King: You’re always a sucker for bara. Especially when one of them is a literal bear.

Murray/Muggshot: Same with Murray/Panda-King except you’re also into BDSM.

Dimitri/Mz. Ruby: You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of vogueing. And you’re a scalie.

Carmelita/Neyla: You’re really into BDSM, despite never having tried it

Sly/Neyla: You’re really into BDSM, despite never having tried it, AND you’re heterosexual.

Dimitri/Neyla: You’re really into BDSM and have probably tried it.

Neyla/Penelope: You are the rare breed of person who thought Penelope’s betrayal in Thieves in Time might have actually made too much sense. 

Neyla/Contessa: You’re a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of police corruption. And you probably have a hypnosis fetish.

Neyla/Clockwerk: You’re into BDSM, upgraded your hypnosis fetish to a mind-rape fetish, and you’re into vore. Among other things…

Murray/Dimitri: You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of a “Barney the Dinosaur” origin story.

Dimitri/Penelope: You are Dimitri Lousteau, and you probably really hate Thieves in Time.

Also, it goes without saying that if you like any of these ships, you’re a furry.