Jj Looking At Emily's Boobs: Goth Boobs, Huh?

jj: at what age do we consider a milf to be a milf regardless of whether they are indeed a mother??

emily: and who are you considering when you ask this question?

jj: ..you

Alice: [answers her phone] hello ??

Betty: it's Betty

Alice: what did she do now ??

Betty: no i mean , it's me , Betty. It's actually me

Alice: what did you do now ??

CM Evolution, a summary

Garcia/Rossi(depending on the episode): When have I ever done something rash or irresponsible?

Emily: I keep a list

JJ: Mine is by date

Tara: Severity

Luke: Mine's color-coded

nothing sexier than emily prentiss in a red shirt

Dear paramount +,

Please let emily prentiss say fuck

Much thanks

150 Random Writing Prompts

There’s some fluff, some smut, some angst, and some funny prompts all mashed up from a bunch of prompt lists I’ve found. Absolutely none of these prompts came from me, I just threw a bunch of ones I liked together. 

“Come over here and make me.”

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

“I almost lost you.”

“Wanna bet?”

“Don’t you ever do that again!”

“Kiss me.”

“It could be worse.”

“Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…”

“You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”

“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”

“Just once.”

“I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

“If you keep looking at me like that we won’t make it to a bed.”

“You heard me. Take. It. Off.”

“Wanna dance?”

“You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

“You did all of this for me?”

“I swear it was an accident.”

“YOU DID WHAT?!”

“If you die, I’m gonna kill you.”

“I fucking hate you”

“He’s dead, again.”

“It’s hard to get used to…” “what is?” “Being someone that someone cares for…”

“The first time you smiled it felt like the universe aligned.”

“It hurts…” “what?” “Loving someone who doesn’t love you…”

“Let me do this, please.”

you’re not as funny as you think you are

i’m just getting comfy

just because you can doesn’t mean you should

how don’t you know the difference between your left and right?

thank you for being in my life

text me when you’re home

you are such a nerd

why are you so cold?

stop laughing at me

you were put on this earth to give me a headache

you’re ticklish

can we go home yet?

you are a terrible influence

one of us is clearly smarter than the other

you need some sleep

how have you survived this long by yourself?

are you just quoting song lyrics?

i’m only here for the dog

sleep is for the weak

that was you?

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“What? I have never-”

“I do not have an answer for you.”

“In my defense, I really wanted to.”

“At least I didn’t break any laws.”

“What did you do this time?”

“How do we get out?”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Just marry me already.”

“Did I stutter?”

“Did I just say that out loud?”

“H-How long have you been standing there?”

“I’ve never felt this way before and I’m terrified to be honest.”

“Is that what you call an apology?”

“Is there anything you want to tell me?”

“Somebody’s in love!”

“Can I hold your hand?”

“There is no way this much stupid can fit inside one person.”

“I’m never leaving…I promise.”

“Uh, am I interrupting?”

“I like you, like like you like you.”

“Be my Valentine?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“God, I love you.”

“You’re so fucking cute.”

“Stop being a fucking prick.”

“Do you want me to stay?”

“You’re my everything.”

“I love seeing you smile.”

“i’ve been thinking about you all day.”

“ i can’t get enough of you.”

“i like being close to you. you’re warm.”

“i’m not wearing any underwear. thought you’d like to know.”

“is this okay?”

“this is a one time thing.”

“you know where to find me.”

“you’re really good at that.”

“here’s my hotel room number.”

“don’t be shy now, sit on my face.”

“Wanna join?”

“Stop doing that”

“YOU SENT ME PICTURES OF YOU NAKED WHILE I WAS IN A WORK MEETING!”

“If I ask you to kiss me in front of all these people, will you do it?”

“Don’t go on that date.” “Why?” “You know why.” “Say it.”

“ i think i might be in some kind of love with you.”

“say you want me, and i’m yours.”

“you need a place to stay for the night”

“i want to taste you”

“i love it when you talk dirty

“if you interrupt me one more time— so help me god”

“if we weren’t in public right now i’d have my head between your legs”

“i don’t know what to do” “then let me teach you”

“i forgot my towel”

“this feels dirty” “that’s because it is”

“don’t cover you’re face, i want to see you”

“are you sure about this?”

“ive never wanted to fuck someone as badly as i want to fuck you rn”

“do you want help with that?”

“im going to fuck you until you forget that assholes name”

“bend over the desk love”

“is that my shirt?”

“my mother adores you.”

“is that a drawing of me?”

“i didn’t mean to say that but yeah, i love you.”

“i’ve never seen anyone look so cute and ridiculous at the same time.”

“stop looking at me like that!”

“i didn’t know you could sing.”

“you weren’t supposed to hear that!”

“you wrote me a song?”

“i’m not scared but if you are, you can hold my hand.”

“this isn’t adrenaline, i want to spend my life with you.”

“do you think of me when you touch yourself?”

“Take my jacket, it’s cold”

“My friends get annoyed by how much I talk about you sometimes”

“I’m not going anywhere”

“fuck you.” - “when?”

“no one’s ever made me feel like this.”

“here, let me help you.”

“we’re quite literally fugitives of the state.” - “so no pizza?”

“you’re insane.” - “people keep telling me that.”

“you’re pretty.” - “you’re drunk.”

“i told you i’d come home to you.”

“i’ll keep you safe.”

“i’ll spend a thousand lifetimes coming back to you.”

“i didn’t think it was possible to love someone this much.”

“please never stop smiling.”

“Touch yourself for me.”

“Shut up and take your pants off.”

“Wanna see what I’m wearing underneath all this?”

“Do you know how beautiful you are? It’s truly distracting.”

“How are you this perfect?”

“I’ve waited so long for this.”

“Would you just shut up and kiss me already?”

“Tell me what you want.”

“Could he make you feel as good as i do?”

“Are you trying to turn me on or are you really just that oblivious?”

“Just let me finish this/this level and I swear ill go down on you until you cum at least three times.”

“I haven’t even touched you and you’re already this wet.”

“Were you just masturbating?” “U-uh..no, I was just..” “Want some help?”

“Tell me again.”

“I really want to kiss you right now.” “Then do it.”

“I don’t care what you do just fuck me.”

“Stop distracting me.”

writers when they’re proofreading their works for the 34th time *find zero mistakes, there’s no typo, no grammatical error. everything looks good. hit the post button*

writers when they’re reading said works after they’ve been published like proud parents *find 52 mistakes at first glance, 38 typos and 14 grammatical errors with a bunch of inconsistencies and plot holes*

jj: fight me!

luke: ha, look at the size of you! what are you gonna do, kick my ankle?

*later*

tara: why is luke crying?

emily: jj kicked him really hard on the ankle

Luke: Not gonna lie, I'm kind of afraid of Emily... JJ: As you should be. Luke: No, for real, she's kind of- JJ: As. You. Should. Be.

Sam: So… I’ve seen that you’ve been spending a lot of time with Kara recently.

Lena: No, Sam, it’s not what it looks like, I swear.

Sam: (scoffs) Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous?

Lena: No! You’re the only one for me!

Sam: Is that so?

Lena: I promise! Kara and I are just dating, okay? She’s my girlfriend.

Sam: So there’s no best-friends-feelings involved?

Lena: You’re still my one and only best friend. She’s just the love of my life; nothing more.

Sam: But I’m still the platonic love of your life?

Lena: Of course bro!

Sam: Bro…

Kara: (realising that both the woman she loves and her best friend are idiots) What the…?