So If I'm Reading This Right, The Family Consists Of:

!

*holds a Bedazzler gun to your torso* Show us the kitty or I'll make your spleen pretty

my indoor cat is constantly trying to get outside, and today they briefly succeeded when I was coming in. which means I got the satisfaction of seeing a manic little kitty cat running full throttle out the front doorway only to IMMEDIATELY hit the brakes looney tunes style and do a 180° warp speed back inside upon discovering themself in the midst of a pouring thunderstorm

An important warning for this season!

Please comply with local ectosystem rules and regulations!

annual reminder not to feed the ghosts! yes I know it seems like a cute tradition, but these are wild spirits with specialized diets, and humans unintentionally cause serious havoc by interfering with their ectosystem

Ends up with a hyperfixation on walls, because the dart missed the list entirely

picks a new hyperfixation by putting on a blindfold, spinning three times & throwing a dagger at a list pinned to a dartboard

I haven't seen any but now I very much want to

don't know much about furry fiction but surely there is an established trope wherein some furries are allergic to other characters' dander? like say a gecko scalie falls in love with a cat furry but is allergic to cat hair. trials & tribulations & claritin ensure

Primary Color Pride. There's the primary colors of light (red, blue, and green), the primary colors of ink (cyan, maroon, yellow), and the apex colors for each (white and black respectively)

what pride flag is this (wrong answers only)

reblog if you wear glasses. too many mutuals don't know they have glasses wearers in their midsts

Sometimes I like to think of myself as "Female Lite" or "Diet Female" because while I do identify as a cis woman, it just doesn't really feel important. As if my gender was more diluted than usual. Just enough gender that I can tell there's femaleness in there, but my gender is to femininity as LaCroix is to fruit juice.

i feel so seen!!

(twitter thread)

WEDNSDAY 

Okay but how many students were recording this for posterity? How many people wanted proof that "Uncle Fruitloop" was a real live person and pulled out their phones to record? How many wide-eyed undergrads now have video proof of Vlad "THE Rich White Guy™" Masters bickering with a twenty-year-old, implying yandere levels of stalkerdom towards said twenty-year-old's mother, and then driving off with him as if this was perfectly normal behavior?

Within 2 days of the argument, "Uncle Fruitloop" goes viral. There are vicious debates over whether or not the videos are real. Business moguls are suddenly very interested in the boy Masters apparently wants as an apprentice. "Motherfucker wannabe" becomes a meme.

When asked about the conversation, Vlad Masters claims his nephew is simply overdramatic and refuses to acknowledge further questions. Naturally this only raises further questions.

I can’t stop thinking about how Vlad is like the DP universe equivalent of some strange queer crossbreed between Elongated Muskrat and Jefferham Bezos AND he’s also Danny’s shitty uncle. But you would never even consider the two know each other, because Danny is just some guy, nobody would ever make a connection between him and Vlad unless you were close enough with either of them or you lived in AP. Imagine being Danny’s college roommate. Imagine how shocking and chaotic that would be. There’s some random weird ass kid from some backwater town, that you can barely remember the name of, sharing a room with you. And like, he’s chill for the most part. Weird as hell at times but easy enough to get along with. He brings up his uncle sometimes and the guy sounds more and more insane each time your roommate describes him. “What kind of pathetic old man gets into a prank war with a teenager?” “What do you mean he named his cat after your mom?? ” “Why didn’t you call the cops on him when he spiked your dad’s drink at the New Year’s party so he wouldn’t have to listen to him?!!” Your roommate’s creepy gross sad lonely uncle becomes kind of an inside joke between you and your friends. That’s why, when your roommate announces that his uncle is coming to pick him up and drive him home for some important family event, you all gather near the parking lot to finally witness this myth of a man in real life. It’s also why you nearly faint in shock when Vlad fucking Masters steps out of a car to greet your roommate who, without missing a beat, immediately calls him a bitch.