‘relationships Are Work’ Means ‘you Have To Put Effort Into Loving Each Other Intentionally & Learning

the wrong people in this world are unlearning shame

CNN

A 40-day Target boycott starts today. It couldn’t come at a worse time for the company | CNN Business

Target is facing a 40-day consumer boycott starting Wednesday over the company’s shift away from diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI) polic

I wasn't aware of this one, so I'm trying to spread the word.

It's actually fucking scary how much Dropshipped Cat Shirt by Wilbur Soot calls to me. The song just in general feels how a panic attack does. The song goes from a slow pace to a fast pace, then back to a slow pace.

This masterpiece of a song calms me. There's something about that song that makes me feel safe while in danger at the same time. It triggers my fight-or-flight senses.

Wilbur, you are a fucking genius.

May 10 - A Cathedral in France

The Avignon Cathedral is a looming stone building that stood beside The Palaise de Paipes, translated in english to The Palace of Popes. Atop the cathedrals bell tower is a looming statue of the Virgin Mary. Staring down at the city, it is near impossible to hide yourself from her judgemental gaze...

I have a complicated relationship with religion. I believe in a higher power, I think, but more out of a need for comfort than any real kind of conviction. The challenge, though, wasn't in a disbelief of christianities' most basic teaching, but in the way those teaching were presented by many of its followers. I could meander here for ages, but since Jesus is not the focus of this entry, let me attempt to instead be concise. A central tenant in Christianity is the idea that Jesus died on the cross so that God would forgive our sins. The belief that anyone is capable of redemption and forgiveness is at the center of the faith. While my religion. is used by many to do the opposite of this, I've always been able to consider my christian background with pride because of this.

The cathedral we're standing now in was built in the 12th century. How many people do you suppose walked across these stone floors or knelt before the Lord in this same sanctuary and prayed for their salvation? What sort of things do you suppose they prayed for? Earlier today, I and a dozen other 20 somethings were sat by a french pub in a gorgeous public square getting absolutely plastered on wine and beer...

Those 12th century siners probably would have had a number of thoughts about that behavior. But, I digress.

I've been thinking about this moment and the idea of forgiveness a lot recently. I follow the band Lovejoy and their lead singer Will Gold, know better by his internet screen name Wilbur Soot. For those not chronically online and unaware of the controversy that's been tied to that name recently, Will Gold was accused of Domestic Abuse by his Ex Girlfriend Shelby Sulick, better know as Shelby 'Shubble' Grace. For the purposes of this entry, we will not be diving into the details of those accusations. Google it if you're curious or venture forth to Twitter if you're feeling very brave and patient.

No, the question I keep coming to and that brought me back to this century old place of worship was the question of change and growth. There's a quote for a show called Bockjack Horseman that surmizes my thoughts fairly well, "There's no such thing as 'bad guys' or 'good guys' We're all just... guys, who do good stuff sometimes and bad stuff sometimes. And all we can do is try to do less bad stuff and more good stuff, but you're never going to be good because you're not bad." I've noticed a trend in social media discourse in the last decade of people picking up 'buzzword' and using them without taking the time to research what those terms fully mean. It popped up around the same point as clickbaiting. I hate both trends equally.

Popular examples such as narcicist, gaslighting, and triggered are some of my favorite overused and misunderstood psychology terms at the moment. The example that bothers me most is the use of Narcicist and Narcicistic abuse. Narcicistic Personality Disorder is a diagnosable mental disorder that can be diagnosed and addressed with a professional Psychologist and medications. Not all people with NPD are abusers, and the use of NPD in Pop Psychology further pushes this idea that all people with NPD are dangerous individuals. This mindset also seems to push the idea that those who perpetuate abuse are incapable of change. Narcicistic Abuse is NOT a clinical diagnosis identified by the Diagnostic Statistic Manual (DSM) or the American Psychology Association (APA).

Psychology does not agree with the idea that abusers cannot improve and that 'toxic' behavior cannot be corrected. The Center for Prevention of Abuse gives a list of examples on their website explaining signs that a perpetrator is willing to improve as well as steps that you as a friend can take to help a friend with abusive tendencies. Heidi Preibe, a popular relationship youtuber open with her process of self growth, goes into detail on the steps she took herself to work toward paracticing better mindfulness and self awareness.

The central premis seems to be this: work to be aware of the behaviours you desplay that hurt others, observe the situations that trigger you to act in a harmful way, and set boundaries for yourself that push you to walk away and seek help from friends and a professional when you find yourself in those situations. If these are topics you're interested in, I would highly consider starting with Heidi's video linked below and going from there. Everyone displays toxic or narcicistic traits in their lifetime. Left unchecked, they can easily enter the realm of emotionally abusive. If you see this post and your response is 'I'm not toxic or abusive EVER. Sunshine pours out of my ass at all times.' Then you're probably the toxic pick this is directed at.

Singing in a space as old and as active as this is an experience unlike anything you will ever experience. As the sound of your voice echoes off the stone walls it will quite literally surround anyone present in that space. In choral music there is a phenomenon caused when a choir is in in perfect harmony: Overtones. These are very high echoing tones that ring in the space around you. When I imagine the sounds of angels speaking, I like to imagine they sound a bit like that. Those notes will only appear if ever singer is in tune and is completely in sink with one another. As always, communication and understanding among the vocalists is key. If your a 12th century farming begging the lordes forgiveness in a place as holy as this, I could see how a moment like that might leave an impact.

But now, it's time to turn the page to another snapshot of another moment in time. Perhaps we'll come back to this idea though. But that is for another time.

------

Adendum - This post is in no way meant to suggest or imply abusive behaviour by eaither party mentioned above. All we have at this moment are statements and I will not be giving a full definitive answer om what I believe happened here until more information has come forward from both parties. This is merely a discussion on forgiveness and personal growth with links to helpful sources. It is also not meant to suggest that you should stay with an abusive partner in the hope they will change. That is a personal devision based on situation and should be discussed with friends and, if possible, a psychologist. Most sources agree that change in an abusive individual is only possible if/when the partner has left and forced them to leave.

If folks are absolutely desperate for my personal breakdown and speculations on the situation the I will address that at that time. If you go into my notes and leave disrespectul comments I will delete your comment and block you from this page.

Sources -

https://youtu.be/moynQi7qT08?si=baTzLjWTkOl4n8hI

https://www.centerforpreventionofabuse.org/i-need-help-for-someone-else/helping-abusers/

https://lundybancroft.com/

https://youtu.be/Nrx_dXx3WUQ?si=-5aSzDedf_QejWBV

There are people – some in my own Party – who think that if you just give Donald Trump everything he wants, he’ll make an exception and spare you some of the harm. I’ll ignore the moral abdication of that position for just a second to say — almost none of those people have the experience with this President that I do. I once swallowed my pride to offer him what he values most — public praise on the Sunday news shows — in return for ventilators and N95 masks during the worst of the pandemic. We made a deal. And it turns out his promises were as broken as the BIPAP machines he sent us instead of ventilators. Going along to get along does not work – just ask the Trump-fearing red state Governors who are dealing with the same cuts that we are. I won’t be fooled twice.

I’ve been reflecting, these past four weeks, on two important parts of my life: my work helping to build the Illinois Holocaust Museum and the two times I’ve had the privilege of reciting the oath of office for Illinois Governor.

As some of you know, Skokie, Illinois once had one of the largest populations of Holocaust survivors anywhere in the world. In 1978, Nazis decided they wanted to march there.

The leaders of that march knew that the images of Swastika clad young men goose stepping down a peaceful suburban street would terrorize the local Jewish population – so many of whom had never recovered from their time in German concentration camps.

The prospect of that march sparked a legal fight that went all the way to the Supreme Court. It was a Jewish lawyer from the ACLU who argued the case for the Nazis – contending that even the most hateful of speech was protected under the first amendment.

As an American and a Jew, I find it difficult to resolve my feelings around that Supreme Court case – but I am grateful that the prospect of Nazis marching in their streets spurred the survivors and other Skokie residents to act. They joined together to form the Holocaust Memorial Foundation and built the first Illinois Holocaust Museum in a storefront in 1981 – a small but important forerunner to the one I helped build thirty years later.

I do not invoke the specter of Nazis lightly. But I know the history intimately — and have spent more time than probably anyone in this room with people who survived the Holocaust. Here’s what I’ve learned – the root that tears apart your house’s foundation begins as a seed – a seed of distrust and hate and blame.

The seed that grew into a dictatorship in Europe a lifetime ago didn’t arrive overnight. It started with everyday Germans mad about inflation and looking for someone to blame.

I’m watching with a foreboding dread what is happening in our country right now. A president who watches a plane go down in the Potomac – and suggests — without facts or findings — that a diversity hire is responsible for the crash. Or the Missouri Attorney General who just sued Starbucks – arguing that consumers pay higher prices for their coffee because the baristas are too “female” and “nonwhite.” The authoritarian playbook is laid bare here: They point to a group of people who don’t look like you and tell you to blame them for your problems.

I just have one question: What comes next? After we’ve discriminated against, deported or disparaged all the immigrants and the gay and lesbian and transgender people, the developmentally disabled, the women and the minorities – once we’ve ostracized our neighbors and betrayed our friends – After that, when the problems we started with are still there staring us in the face – what comes next.

All the atrocities of human history lurk in the answer to that question. And if we don’t want to repeat history – then for God’s sake in this moment we better be strong enough to learn from it.

I swore the following oath on Abraham Lincoln’s Bible: “I do solemnly swear that I will support the constitution of the United States, and the constitution of the state of Illinois, and that I will faithfully discharge the duties of the office of Governor .... according to the best of my ability.

My oath is to the Constitution of our state and of our country. We don’t have kings in America – and I don’t intend to bend the knee to one. I am not speaking up in service to my ambitions — but in deference to my obligations.

If you think I’m overreacting and sounding the alarm too soon, consider this:

It took the Nazis one month, three weeks, two days, eight hours and 40 minutes to dismantle a constitutional republic. All I’m saying is when the five-alarm fire starts to burn, every good person better be ready to man a post with a bucket of water if you want to stop it from raging out of control.

Those Illinois Nazis did end up holding their march in 1978 – just not in Skokie. After all the blowback from the case, they decided to march in Chicago instead. Only twenty of them showed up. But 2000 people came to counter protest. The Chicago Tribune reported that day that the “rally sputtered to an unspectacular end after ten minutes.” It was Illinoisans who smothered those embers before they could burn into a flame.

Tyranny requires your fear and your silence and your compliance. Democracy requires your courage. So gather your justice and humanity, Illinois, and do not let the “tragic spirit of despair” overcome us when our country needs us the most.

Sources:

• NBC Chicago & J.B. Pritzker, Democratic governor of Illinois, State of the State address 2025: Watch speech here | Full text

• Betches News on Instagram (screencaps)

What did Lovejoy put in Are You Alright that made it so alright.

In Rapid Eye Moves, I Fall Right Back to You

Do you remember cycling

across the channel in September? Check

your front coat pocket. Tucked away,

a polaroid projected point

in time filled with love and joy and bright endless

afternoons. See those ruby seeds drip.

drip. dripping... from the corners

of chapped lips? It's strange, the way

they contrast your pale blue. We went to

find marigolds. Except,

I left with Asphodels -

Verm-Vykkennpest:

Common Name - Vykker’s Fervor

"Look upon her frail beauty and think on the temporary nature of this bleak and unwieldy existence. For only in death can we truly appreciate the fragility of her life."

A newly emerging epidemic that seems to have arisen from the recent industrial revolution taking place at the center of the Avarice Empire. Vykker's Fervor is a disease affecting the lungs and bloodstream. Because it is so recent, there is an excess of misinformation being spread about the disease. In fact, some might argue that these misconceptions have traveled faster than the illness itself. This is false. Doctors studying the disease have discerned that the illness is caused by the overuse Of fossilized Vysterthorn roots harvested from sections of the Vermylliik forest which the Empire had set ablaze in their attempt to stop the spread of the Vermillion Draft. Despite this, information warning of the unforeseen consequences of this new technology has failed to gain traction due to ‘An Unprecedented Economic Growth Caused by its Introduction to the Industrial Sector’ Those knowledge about the illness would argue it has more to do with the unprecedented growth of men's pockets, but that is besides the point  

Aproximately 65% of the Capitals population are currently infected with the Verm-Vykkenpest virus, better known as Vykker’s Fervor. What is unique about this illness is the slow progression of the disease. Until recently, Verm-Vykkenpest was a largely unknown disease that only affected those living in close proximity to the Vermylliik forest. Of those infected with the disease, approximately 10% of those will, on average, reach a point of active infection. If treated properly, only 3% of those who reach active disease are likely to die of the illness. This is likely the reason the disease had remained largely unknown prior to about 4 decades ago. Statistically, the illness has a very minor chance of fatality. However, that was prior to the disease gaining its terrifying strangle hold on larger centers of civilization. 

Symptoms of Verm-Vykkennpest include sudden weight loss, shortness of breath, pale translucent skin, sunken eyes, insomnia, lethargy, persistent bruising, And bleeding.

As the disease progresses, the symptoms will slowly worsen. The first sign of this progression to late stage active disease is the coughing up of blood as well as the discovery of blood in the urine and stool. This is caused by the infection of the lungs and other organs slowly tearing away at the lining of the lungs until they eventually drown as the lungs are filled with blood and puss. The thinning of the blood also means that bruising and injuries caused by blunt force are much more likely to cause unseen bleeding, which would not usually be fatal. 

The disease has been found to be dramatically worsened by several factors: weakened immune system and an unhealthy lifestyle. Doctors believe this is why the symptoms of  those living in large population centers progress so quickly. This is also why Vykker's Fervor has become so widely known as a ‘rich man's disease.''’ Those looking to their local newsstand reading about the illness will only see reports of rich affluent members of society in silent repose and languishing in quiet apathy. This, of course, is only highlighted by the sudden change in feminine fashion. For example, it was published in a recent issue of Farfengel Femina that women hoping to ‘achieve to feminine Ideal’ should adopt these new self care habits.

- Line the veins with blue pencils to give the illusion of pale paper thin skin.

- Lace one’s corset to appear more thin and gaunt.

- Brushing one's face and neck with arsenic powder.

- Applying Essence of belladonna to achieve the sunken eye look.

- Redden one's lips and cheeks to mimic the feverish glow of sickness.

We have also seen a shift To lighter, pastel colors in women's dress to further emphasize the small, sickly, waifish look now popularized in fashionable society. Meanwhile, these same fashionable magazines ignore the hundreds of sick, disenfranchised, working class communities over Run with the disease. Individuals who are not only more susceptible To the illness, but who's lack of disposable income means that they will not have the same access to care as their more affluent peers. While the rich upper class flee to the countryside for fresh air and undisturbed restfulness, those of the lower classes will be condemned to the state sponsored sanitorium, locked away from their families. There, they will be left to waste away in large poorly kept dormitories and subjected to untested, experimental, often barbaric treatments with no basis in modern medicine. 

One year since the finale

"You have no more blame in this than I" by greggiana on tiktok / 1,2,3,4,7,9 art by iidalus ctommy / 5,6 art by birdiebrunch / 8 art by mal-a-l-aise