Edwin Being Jealous Of Crystal But Not Admitting/recognizing His Feelings For Charles 🙃

Dehumanizing bigots is bad, not because I want to be nice to them, but because they are human beings and they serve as a reminder that anyone is capable of evil ideation and action. Violent bigots are not fundamentally different beings from you. They are human beings, who have developed a reactionary and destructive belief system due to their circumstances combined with their biases. In a different timeline, that could've been you. Anyone can be radicalized. Nobody is immune to propaganda, not even the person reading this.

To End, We Must First Begin...

Tell me, have you heard the story of of words creation? Hmm, it's not all that surprising you haven't. The story of Bassan's creation is so rarely taught in our schools... I've even heard fellow scholars openly mock the story in front of their pupils. How unprofessional. Anyway, while the validity of the story is frequently brought into question by the more educated of us, I still believe that it is necessary we know our story in full.

Today, we leave behind the crampt, dust ridden shelves of the library, and that stuffy old lab to pay a visit to our local temple. I've arranged a meeting here in the courtyard with one of their priestesses. If you are to hear our story, it should be from those who know it best.

Centuries ago, before ships and trees and the founding of all things, the Almunashi, creator of all that is and will be, resided above in the cosmos. Here in the Avarice empire, they are better known as Lumina or the great Illuminate. There, they sat surrounded by nothingness. They felt nothing. They knew nothing. They were nothing. 

Then, They found the light.

First, there was one, floating beside them in that great, great expansive void. But before long, one became two. Quickly, these little flickers of something split again and again, ever growing in intensity. They held that flickering spark in their hands and watched in mesmerized delight.

Delight? What is delight? What is wonder? All at once, Lumina's entire existence expanded. It grew, and it grew until their entire being coalesced in one brilliant moment of newfound awareness and exploded across that great expansive wasteless nothing. 

The empty was gone; replaced with planets and stars and, best of all: life. Living breathing things of every shape and size roamed the newborn cosmos. There was life in the seas, life in the sky, and life on the lands. The greatest of their works were the humans, industrious little creatures capable of complex thought and creation, yet fragile and so very temporary. What was truly mesmerizing about this new life was its ability to grow, live, die, and live again. It was the perfect cycle, and in that cycle lived magic…but that is a story for another time. 

The Great Illuminate had found life, and they intended to fill the universe with it. 

But before long, the life they created was overwhelmed. These creatures battled, fought, and strove to tear themselves apart. This simply could not do. At once, they decided that these new things they had created needed order. So they created beings in their own image to rule over their creations: the Ajashraman. We know these ancient ageless beings born of the earth itself, Jhamran. These beings were capable of altering all of everything, just as Lumina had. 

But even these new ruling creatures were quickly overwhelmed by both their unlimited potential and the endless expanse of forever that would come with their near immorality. They fought, battled, and nearly burned their new world to the ground. Alumnashi was greatly disturbed. These creatures should be perfect, they thought. How could they be so cruel? That is when they decided these beings needed more structure, still. 

They pondered for seven days and seven nights, wondering how they might structure this new world. It was then that it struck them: there are simply too many forces acting on this world, so many that the structure I hoped to create dissolved into chaos. I must create those who can guide these things who I have created to give them purpose and a common goal to pursue. But they also worried that if they focused solely on order, they would lose the wonderful chaos that led the Aluminashi to that initial moment of euphoric discovery.

So, they created great and powerful guides for their leaders who would live separately above all things, The Aldhalimi. We know them as Halli. Seven would rule the day, bringing order and law. They would guide the world toward its purpose. To counteract the day would also be seven to rule the night. These would seed chaos and inspire innovation. In this way, their world would never become complacent and would retain the spontaneity that led to their ultimate creation. 

Finally, Lumina's creations lived together in the world they had created. Observing this great work of theirs, they faded into the void, now teaming with life. For the first time in their infinite existence, they saw balance and equilibrium. Most important of all, they were no longer alone.

Sadly, Lumina would soon learn that with life and existence, there came another equal domineering force: Atrophy and life's natural urge to combat it. Balance would not last for long. 

Where is the Aluminashi now, you ask? We’ll… no one is really quite sure. But, if you look up into the night sky and find that fortune is on your side you might catch a glimpse. Why, it would appear our Lady the Blessed Dawn Martyr has indeed blessed us with her fortune this fine night. Look, above your heads! See the brightest star in the sky, just to your right? Follow the lines of the stars and you might see a beautiful bowl with two hands pouring out the night sky.

That is the creator still today filling our universe with the luminous gift of life and light. 

Welcome, Weary Travelers

Sit down, put up your feet, and treat yourself to a pint.

Our resident bard will be taking the stage in just a moment...

Anyway - Welcome to Satire's Eulogy! Here, you can find musings about my current writing projects, rambling explanations of worldbuilding concepts for those projects, and story requests!

Currently, the only character I am taking requests for is Non-CC Wilbur Soot, as the general fanfinction interpretation of his character was the original inspiration for the male protagonist of my in progress book series and I need an excuse to do character studies. I may also add requests for 'OC' characters, i.e., characters from my series concept, when/if I introduce them here. This is, of course, subject to change.

Rules:

- No NSFW requests. If you won't find it in a high school library you won't find it here.

- Be respectful. There is no room for hate here.

- This is a place for escapism. Leave current affairs/controversies at the door.

***This isn't a democracy. This is a dictatorship. Break these rules - your comment will be deleted & you will be banned.

Useful tags:

Worldbuilding #EulogyLore

Story Requests #EulogyRequests

Other Asks #EulogyResponse

Writing Discussions #EulogySpeaks

Other Junk #EulogyRandom

Sit Back, Relax, and Enjoy the Show!

Rehnfolgen: a Fertility Festival celebrated through the Avarice Empire

The purpose of the holiday is to mimic a folkloric legend of a fey princess 3 clans warred over in ancient history in hopes she will bless their livestock and women, encouraging frequent breeding and general fertility.

**TW for weird dubious consent stuff. This is a fantasy empire in a fictional world that hasn't quite learned to drink the 'respect women' juice yet. That's sorta the point of the book I'm writing.

3 days prior to the selection party, men put their names in hats and are divided into 3 teams or 'hunting parties'. Women who are participating will then play a game of musical chairs where the winner is named 'Champions Quarr'y.' The game is meant to be random chance, but is commonly rigged so that if one of the women is recently engaged, in courtship with a man dragging his feet, or has a man present who needs a 'push' to pursue her, then she will likely be the one to win. Most participants would argue that this is for the good of the couple, but in reality, it has more to do with the other gentlemen's amusement. Over the next 3 days, the teams will strategize on and prepare the location that will be their encampment.

The night of Rhenfolgen, the women will gather at a local bath house to 'prepare the feast' using bath salts, poultices, perfumes, and powders infused and scented with herbs and fruits. She is then painted in a glaze of honey, berries, and citrus juices. She will then be dressed in nothing but flowers and leaves, with thin clothes over the breasts and nether regions for modesty. They will then lead her into the forest and to a lake where a small row boat will be waiting. The Sovran of Merriment will lead her into the boat, tie her wrists together with soft loose ribbons, and take her out over the river to a nearby island.

He will hide her somewhere on the island in a bed of flowers and leaves, then blow the horn to signal the beginning of the hunt. The goal of the hunt is to find your quarry before dawn, bring her back to your encampment, and then defend her from the other teams trying to steal her. The only 'weapons' allowed are colorful smoke bombs, children's bows tipped with soft cotton tips doused in colorful powders, and decorative hard paper swords, (Fireworks are not technically allowed but somehow always make their way into the festivities).

At dawn, the team leader in possession of the Champions Quarry is declared king of the hunt. The losing teams will gather at the winning teams encampment to celebrate their win. The losing teams are required to prepare and serve the feast. At the center of the feast, the chosen lady will be laid in a bed of fresh fruits. The rest of the day is filled with singing, dancing, bonfires, and lots of sexy shenanigans. Most notable of these is the men stripping themselves naked running through the encampment and around the fire slapping women with giant roast chicken drumsticks.

Near the end of the night, the men and women will gather in two lines, each holding a ribbon for the 'dance of wolves'. Men will dress themselves in furs and women in loose white knee-length dresses, colorful sashes, and flower crowns with small wood carved deer antlers. The goal is to unknot and separate the ribbons.

The men will then chase the women on the other end of his ribbon into the woods. Once caught, he will use the ribbon to tie her arms above her head and…make good on the holiday's purpose. While this is happening, the 'king of the hunt' will take his hard-won quarry to the champions tent. For the sake of decency, we will not elaborate further.

ladies, gentlemen, everyone in between, may I present…

MR NEIL GAIMAN!!!!!

@neil-gaiman

There are people – some in my own Party – who think that if you just give Donald Trump everything he wants, he’ll make an exception and spare you some of the harm. I’ll ignore the moral abdication of that position for just a second to say — almost none of those people have the experience with this President that I do. I once swallowed my pride to offer him what he values most — public praise on the Sunday news shows — in return for ventilators and N95 masks during the worst of the pandemic. We made a deal. And it turns out his promises were as broken as the BIPAP machines he sent us instead of ventilators. Going along to get along does not work – just ask the Trump-fearing red state Governors who are dealing with the same cuts that we are. I won’t be fooled twice.

I’ve been reflecting, these past four weeks, on two important parts of my life: my work helping to build the Illinois Holocaust Museum and the two times I’ve had the privilege of reciting the oath of office for Illinois Governor.

As some of you know, Skokie, Illinois once had one of the largest populations of Holocaust survivors anywhere in the world. In 1978, Nazis decided they wanted to march there.

The leaders of that march knew that the images of Swastika clad young men goose stepping down a peaceful suburban street would terrorize the local Jewish population – so many of whom had never recovered from their time in German concentration camps.

The prospect of that march sparked a legal fight that went all the way to the Supreme Court. It was a Jewish lawyer from the ACLU who argued the case for the Nazis – contending that even the most hateful of speech was protected under the first amendment.

As an American and a Jew, I find it difficult to resolve my feelings around that Supreme Court case – but I am grateful that the prospect of Nazis marching in their streets spurred the survivors and other Skokie residents to act. They joined together to form the Holocaust Memorial Foundation and built the first Illinois Holocaust Museum in a storefront in 1981 – a small but important forerunner to the one I helped build thirty years later.

I do not invoke the specter of Nazis lightly. But I know the history intimately — and have spent more time than probably anyone in this room with people who survived the Holocaust. Here’s what I’ve learned – the root that tears apart your house’s foundation begins as a seed – a seed of distrust and hate and blame.

The seed that grew into a dictatorship in Europe a lifetime ago didn’t arrive overnight. It started with everyday Germans mad about inflation and looking for someone to blame.

I’m watching with a foreboding dread what is happening in our country right now. A president who watches a plane go down in the Potomac – and suggests — without facts or findings — that a diversity hire is responsible for the crash. Or the Missouri Attorney General who just sued Starbucks – arguing that consumers pay higher prices for their coffee because the baristas are too “female” and “nonwhite.” The authoritarian playbook is laid bare here: They point to a group of people who don’t look like you and tell you to blame them for your problems.

I just have one question: What comes next? After we’ve discriminated against, deported or disparaged all the immigrants and the gay and lesbian and transgender people, the developmentally disabled, the women and the minorities – once we’ve ostracized our neighbors and betrayed our friends – After that, when the problems we started with are still there staring us in the face – what comes next.

All the atrocities of human history lurk in the answer to that question. And if we don’t want to repeat history – then for God’s sake in this moment we better be strong enough to learn from it.

I swore the following oath on Abraham Lincoln’s Bible: “I do solemnly swear that I will support the constitution of the United States, and the constitution of the state of Illinois, and that I will faithfully discharge the duties of the office of Governor .... according to the best of my ability.

My oath is to the Constitution of our state and of our country. We don’t have kings in America – and I don’t intend to bend the knee to one. I am not speaking up in service to my ambitions — but in deference to my obligations.

If you think I’m overreacting and sounding the alarm too soon, consider this:

It took the Nazis one month, three weeks, two days, eight hours and 40 minutes to dismantle a constitutional republic. All I’m saying is when the five-alarm fire starts to burn, every good person better be ready to man a post with a bucket of water if you want to stop it from raging out of control.

Those Illinois Nazis did end up holding their march in 1978 – just not in Skokie. After all the blowback from the case, they decided to march in Chicago instead. Only twenty of them showed up. But 2000 people came to counter protest. The Chicago Tribune reported that day that the “rally sputtered to an unspectacular end after ten minutes.” It was Illinoisans who smothered those embers before they could burn into a flame.

Tyranny requires your fear and your silence and your compliance. Democracy requires your courage. So gather your justice and humanity, Illinois, and do not let the “tragic spirit of despair” overcome us when our country needs us the most.

Sources:

• NBC Chicago & J.B. Pritzker, Democratic governor of Illinois, State of the State address 2025: Watch speech here | Full text

• Betches News on Instagram (screencaps)

tell me this isn't them to a tee

Ngl I totally forgot fandom discourse was a thing. I don’t care man, I have car payments

Hey, here is some new frustrating discourse.

I'm going to clear this up super duper quick.

And then we can move on and discuss more important things.

Okay?

Here goes...

Nicolas Cage is an incredible actor who is very bad with money so he has to act in terrible movies because otherwise they will repossess his dinosaur skull collection.

But even when he is in terrible movies with terrible writing he refuses to phone in his performances. And sometimes when you are acting your ass off while saying some of the dumbest dialogue ever conceived it can give the appearance the acting is the issue rather than the writing and story.

Hayden Christensen knows that feeling all too well.

So next time you see Nic Cage in a B movie acting a fool, just know he probably bought some new shrunken heads and forgot to pay the mortgage on his volcano island.