Latest Posts by jaybirdbluebottle - Page 10

Cardinal Lawrence is the funniest man ever. He keeps sending his pet Monsignor to go snooping around for him, and when he comes back with intel half the time Lawrence says “no, don’t tell me… I mustn’t be influenced…” and then his Monsignor says “but your Eminence the tea is exceptionally hot today” and Larry pulls out his gay little cup and drinks that shit like a starving man at a feast who’s trying to pretend he’s only a little peckish

day barely even started and I already had to hear "thank you for being our wives, sisters, aunts" and "keep being women and giving birth and being delicate unlike us men" as compliments for international women's day

Innocence v. Tradition

My Conclave zine contribution as a Tedesco/Benitez truther🙏🏾🙂‍↕️

of course vincent benitez won the vote for the pope, he got up in front of everyone and made them feel ashamed that's roman catholicism 101

My boyfriend and I saw you from the table and we hate your vibe, may God have mercy on your soul

Psst, the script for the deleted Conclave scenes just leaked 🙌

LET’S HAVE A CONCLAVE

conclave the book is like so specifically written too like ... its so crazy. bellini's line about "families having 10 children because mama and papa didn't know any better" & "standing for everything tedesco does not" is like only a few pages apart from the reveal of tedesco's backstory being that he's the youngest of 12 kids and grew up destitutely poor from that (& still eats like he's terrified someone might steal his food). like ohh... tedesco is a product of his environment and the paradigm of the traditional values failing people & still trying to force those values on people despite knowing the firsthand experience of the way it sucks. crab in a bucket style.

Delectatio Morosa: A Conclave Visual Novel

We’re very excited to announce Delectatio Morosa: A Conclave Visual Novel coming soon in early March!

Play as Dean Thomas Cardinal Lawrence as he prepares for an All Saints’ Day Celebration at the Vatican, and try to manage his fellow Curia members too!

Cast of Delectatio Morosa… Pose for the fans

🪩🕺✨⛪

It does get serious

rejoice!! something cardinal tedesco and bellini can agree upon😄

conclave is a very good film made up of cardinal thomas lawrence having three horrible horrible days.

however the one thing it lacks is the consideration of how much worse they could have been if it lasted longer.

day four of conclave and the draw between tedesco and lawrence does not budge.

five days of conclave and at least one of the cardinals whose name got covered up in the trembley report backs lawrence against the wall and tries to threaten him with a kitchen knife before falling to weeping on his shoulder. day six of conclave and cardinal adeyemi and cardinal trembley nearly come to blows in the loggia. day seven of conclave and people start sneaking wine bottles into the sistine chapel.

day eight and they're passing them around covertly during the interminable voting process. day nine and three separate white collar crimes come to light because the guilty parties are sweating in their cassocks thinking lawrence has the dirt on them and they can't take the pressure anymore, they just can't.

day ten and vincent benítez is doing quiet prayer catechism hour in the garden after lunch.

day eleven and sabbadin is snorting someone's vicodin in the bathroom.

day twelve and the cardinals for warsaw and budapest are having a terrible breakup everyone is trying to pretend not to notice. day thirteen and lawrence stays in his room the whole day pretending he has a stomach ache and keeps having his nap dreams interrupted by dreams of turtles.

day fourteen and aldo bellini has brought his copy of giovanni's room to reread, half-heatedly hidden behind a bible cover.

day fifteen and vincent benítez has lead by example a number of cardinals into helping out in the kitchen at least once a week to frankly terrible culinary results and growing camaraderie.

sixteen days of conclave and lawrence has to sit down ray o'malley and actively beg him not to tell him anything else, please, no more info, no more digging into old scandals, no nothing.tedesco's tax audits may be suspiciously clean but lawrence is a man of god not a forensic attorney and he will not dig deeper.

day seventeen and lawence tracks o'malley down and asks him to look into tedesco's brother's recent real estate acquisitions.

day eighteen and the new whisper campaign to discredit lawrence keeps trying to bring up his most controversial progressive views but he keeps answering impatiently back with well-thought of biblical references as he did in the homily and accidentally causes a reprise of his canon law school lecture debates. which temporarily brings everyone together and opens the stage for a fierce ideological debate.

wherein lawrence gets accused, not entirely inaccurately, by trembley and adeyemi, united once more in offense, of being the last figurehead for the complacent liberal establishment/a judgemental prig and/or treating the college of cardinals like a group of jumped-up seminarians.

aldo bellini implies very loudly that tedesco is ugly, a fascist and too stupid to ever be invited to lecture at the sourbonne even once, and cardinal vincent benítez speaks up with great dignity and strength against american imperialism.

day nineteen and someone actively tries to murder the patriarch of venice. day twenty and it is revealed via sister agnes ex machina and cardinal benítez's disconcerting familiarity with very real and more successful murder attempts that tedesco was trying to frame bellini for it.

the proof is circumstantial and so are any accusations lawrence or anyone could make against him of corruption, but this does prompt him to go on a long speech about how the leftist agenda has thoroughly ruined not only the church but society at least and made any possible unity among men a sham.

day twenty-one and someone actually dies, unrelated to the tedesco fake-plot.

day twenty-two and they elect vincent benítez. lawrence hides in the room of tears having an anxiety attack of relief.

vincent benítez holds his hand tenderly through it and immediately accepts his resignation as dean but not before telling him his secret and having his hands held back tightly, and being told very earnestly that, short of actual unreasonable harm to other people and an extraordinary amount of bribery, he could be made by god's will in any possible variation and still have lawrence's trust. and most importantly, lawrence's papacy.

day one of innocentius xiv's papacy and lawrence finds him in the gardens feeding the turtles instead of taking the next train to a nice monastery in liège and offers himself as secretary of state. and this is why netflix should hire me.

let god grant us a pope who doubts.

once again my favorite movie of the year has gone home without a best picture oscar and i am once AGAIN making it everyone's problem

instagram / inprnt

i am 98% certain this is every ending in disco elysium

Conversation I had with someone the other day lmao

listen. She’s an icon, she’s a women in stem, she has neurotoxin, what’s not to love

I like vocaloid and I like fraggles, so I combined the two 🏵✨️

disco disco

fucking hate texting dracula i'll send him a funny meme and he'll call me to be like "i need to take a SCREAMshot on my HELL phone" like oh my god we get it youre scary

Some old doodles of a favourite girlfailure

Two weeks until the Ides of March!

"never kill yourself" ❌ passive, inhibitory, restrictive

"let's all kill ourselves" ✅ active, communal, actionable