:0 Omg, So Swaggy, Also That's Real As Fuck, They Share Number One On My Mental Podium Of Favorite Ships

I don't think people understand or grasp the comedic and fluff potential of Jason's goons gentle parenting / KNOWING he's young without knowing he's young.

They debate on his age, most settling between 16-20, but nine of them think he's twenty-one, but then again, they also suspect he doesn't have an I.D. They know he's a legal citizen, he's giving t the accent and Gothamite-born-and-raised attitude, but they don't freaking know, man.

Jason died when he was fifteen and lived with assassin ninjas for the next four years after rising from the dead, as one does... He doesn't know EVERYTHING, and sometimes he does stupid, childish things.

His goons are adults, some have children, some have children Jason's age, they're mostly all older than him, and so they kinda just... Just take to it, sometimes?

They side eye the f%#& out it him when he smokes, like, is he ALLOWED to so that? Boss, what about your health?! You're still so young!?

And Jason isn't even entirely aware of it, he's independent, of course, but deep down he's still just a fifteen year old kid who didn't grow up properly. Forced to grow up to fast, then not at all, and he doesn't realize it, but his goons do.

A little rundown on the AU: Jason comes legally back from the dead after Roy uses some of his old contacts, they get married to ensure power of attorney, Jason changes his name to Harper both because he was feeling mushy about it and because it's easier not to immediately have press hounding them because no one has heard of Jason Harper before. Jason has been recovering from his injuries for a while now and while he is figuring out what he wants to do on a vigilante side of things, he figures out his civilian life. He gets his high school diploma, gets an actual driver's licence, things like that.

Then he wants to get a job. He starts as a regular mechanic because he knows how vehicles work. It's fine. He gets a couple of certifications. He then just. Keeps going. He gets so many mechanic certifications for different vehicles because he already knows a lot and has always been a fast learner. He eventually ends up working as an aviation mechanic for a private hangar and he gets a very good reputation with their clients because no matter what type of plane they have, he knows what's up. He also knows what's up with their cars. Their bikes. Their boats. Their helicopters? One of the clients is an army veteran. Jason knows all the stats on all of the combat vehicles the guy ever mentions.

Jason's boss and coworkers have seen all the certificates. They are all framed on the walls. They all think that Jason very clearly has either autism or adhd or both and hyperfixates on vehicles. They are all extremely supportive of his needs and will listen to him talk about books because one of them read that it's important to support their interests. They keep calling him Sheldon and making The Big Bang Theory references. Jason has no idea what they are talking about.

This, added it to so many stories and it's perfect

"Soulmate AU!" okay, but instead of romance it's for family and when you're born you'll either be your parents soul child or they'll be horrified to find the universe deems them not the child's parent or the child's siblings not their siblings. So. Soul Family AU.

"One Bed Trope!" Okay but instead of 💥✨💥✨💥 and all that mess, they're siblings who've never gotten along and it's cold and they're just trying to get home/ they're running away because e they both found it mutually beneficial to run away together even though they despise one another and they end up cuddling and crying because they're so tired and they've been through so much, together but also absent in one another's lives.

"F*do or die" Cuddle or die, same as the top, but you need to be held like-- bone crushing, hold me or the world is gonna fall apart and end and I'll tear apart at the seams-- held.

"Enemies to lovers" Enemies to brothers, must I say more?

Look, I can do this all day, I love taking romance tropes and turning them into family angst and hurt/ comfort.

Another dream lol, I’ve been sitting on this one trying to put it into words

——

Something terrible happens on patrol. It’s one of the rare nights that Bruce is completely alone, the rest of the family too angry to even be in the same room as him. Bruce understands, he really does. He hates himself too.

So, instead of sitting his family down and risking the inevitable fumble of his words, which would ultimately just make things worse, he does what he always does. He dons his cowl and he roams the streets, looking for someone to save, even if he can’t save himself.

It rough. It’s like all the petty criminal somehow got the memo that Bats was going at it alone. Bruce hardly had a moment to breathe as he jumped from alley to alley, just doing what he could.

Whether or not Bruce gets distracted by trying to protect an innocent civilian, overwhelmed by sheer number of perps surrounding him, a flashback of intense trauma, or another reason; Bruce gets shot.

Batman takes down the criminal who shot him with ease, pretending that the bullet missed or was deflected by his cape.

Bruce stumbles into an empty and desolate alley, bleeding severally from his side as he slumps down against a wall. He can’t help but remember his parents in a ln alleyway so similar to the one he was in now.

And fuck, if that doesn’t make him want to see his family. So, he calls them. The rapid blood loss making his hands shake and his vision swim with every movement.

Dick first. His first baby that he made so many mistakes with, but they still love each other. Dick is a constant in his life that he can always rely on for joy and to see the brighter side of things. Bruce is sure that if he never got involved Dick still would have grown into the wonderful and impressive adult that he was currently.

He goes straight to voicemail

Jason next. He’s not technically supposed to have his number but he’s Batman so it wasn’t that hard to find. Letting Jason down has always been Bruce’s greatest regret. He’s happy where they are now in their relationship, but he can’t help but think of the what-ifs. He wonders if Jason truly knows how much he loves him and never regrets taking him in.

He goes straight to voicemail

Tim pulled him out of the most depressive time of his life when not even Alfred or Dick could. No matter what Tim thought, he would always be his little boy, not just the neighbor’s son. He’s so intelligent and kind that Bruce feels his hearts swell every time he sees him

He goes straight to voicemail

He wishes with everything in his being that he had been in Damian’s life since the beginning. He wishes that he could connect with him now. Damian is so sweet and kind, not only with animals despite what he and a lot of people think. Bruce loves seeing him grow and learn away from the League of Assassins.

He goes straight to voicemail

Alfred has taken care of Bruce since the very beginning, even before his parents died. Even if Alfred would never acknowledge it, he knows that the three of them were in love with each other. Alfred took the place where his father would be if he was still alive. He’s always been there to set him straight or encourage him. Alfred promised him, when he was just a boy in a world of unknown, that he would always answer when he called.

…

Bruce finally calls the Batmobile and has the car auto drive to his location. He limps into the front seat and watches his city fly by.

When he gets to the cave he collapses in a cot, shivering slightly, wondering why that cave suddenly feels so cold and why he feels so tired.

Bruce doesn’t have any time for that. He patches himself up, extracting the bullet from his side and stitching up his wound. He writes his report, keeping it simple and void of an unnecessary actions and emotions.

If anyone asks him, Bruce will tell them that nothing happened. It was a quiet night.

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

the holy grail types of fanfic

I still get excited when my friends refer to me as their friend

"My friend said" "this is my friend" "they're my friend"

Im freaking out inside every time

the trolley problem vs. systemic oppression: a comic.

The first time Duke crashed out wss the first time the batfam ever truly met him

I still stand by the fact that he was heavily code switched when he first joined the fam

But when he crashed out for the first time (which was probably over Bruce parenting him) he cussed them out like he was back in the narrows, yes he did heavily use the n word, yes his accent is heavier than jasons, yes his AAVE comes full swing when he argues, and yes he was spitting such facts and was so unfiltered that this argument could come close to an argument with dick and bruce

Like once someone crosses duke's boiling point there's no going back

He probably would have to hold back from swinging on someone since he grew up in a school w frequent fights and frequently fought

And then for Duke he's not arguing with his dad or siblings he's arguing with some rich ass people who decided to take him in rn

He isn't holding shit back cuz his parents are jokerized and he couldn't give two flying FUCKSZ about anyone else rn

And ik duke's comebacks are sharp and quick cuz having and argument with an incompetent high-school boy has to be a form of psychological training

When Duke argues with them for the first time they watch as "newly adopted, kind, hope if gotham, rise of the sun-" Duke go flying out of his body, and the enter of "no bullshit, quick to clock a hoe ass bitchs shit, fuck yo self and fuck yo knocked kneed mf granny, your not my mf daddy bitch ass nigga,- Duke

And don't get me started on how loud this man will get, especially if he's crying- cuz if you tell him to calm down it's overrrr

This man will make the walls shake w the power he will put in his voice if someone dared to get loud w him- if they go low he goes lower

The moment Damian tried to shit talk him they argued for an hour, Duke prolly gained Damian respect from them tearing eachother apart- like their both kids maybe not close in age but still argue with no remorse cuz there's no respect your elders shit goin on

And you think this man won't act a fool at a gala? Think again

Hell turn this snobby gala into a block party real mf quick

Look down on him and all you'll see is that uppercut he finna give ya

Neway stan bitch ass menace Duke🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾